Indecent Affairs
by birobird93
Summary: Bella Swan is a new student at Forks High. She absolutely loathes school already. That is, until she has English class with a certain teacher...? What will become of her forbidden attraction? Will he reciprocate? JUICY! Bella and Edward.
1. Kill me now

**AN: This is just a small chapter as sample to see if any of you like it. I was bored and had writer's block for my other story, Demon City. Which will have a new chapter up in a few hours or so after I post this.**

**R&R My lovely people :)**

It was boring, it was monotonous...it was high school.

It was my first day back after Summer vacation. I had spent the most part in Phoenix with Renee.

I moved up to Forks, Washington only a few weeks ago, readying my metaphorical casket, so to speak.

Which basically meant, Forks was going to kill me. I sighed drearily as I made my way into the parking lot of Forks High.

My rusted, red Chevy truck hauled itself over the speed bump, making a powerful metal grunting noise, causing everyone to stare. "Awh, crap." I muttered to myself, ducking my head so my long, brown hair would cover up my face.

No doubt they already knew who I was anyway.

Thanks to the fact that this bum fucked town was incredibly small and the student body made up half the population, I was a clear stand out—I was unfamiliar territory. This rule also went for the male half of the school.

Surprisingly, they outnumbered the girls here.

So, anything new, namely me, caught their attention immediately.

I stepped out into the chilly drizzle, my boots connecting with the slick black top of the parking lot.

Their eyes, ever roaming my face, bored holes into my skin.

I would have loved to turn around and tell them to fuck off...but, I wasn't the badass I considered myself to be.

I was a regular chicken-shit. I sighed dejectedly, scowling at my tyre, than gathered myself, trudging off towards the closest building in sight.

Hopefully, this was the office. I pulled my hood over my head, trying to avoid the rain from wetting my hair. I scanned over the red-bricked building...nope, not the office.

I could have thrown a tantrum right then and there. That would have gone down well for my rep.

I snorted silently, what rep? I didn't have a rep, hardly anyone even knew I existed back in Phoenix.

I slowly scoped out the buildings ahead, craning my neck over the bustling flow of students crowding the way. I hit the jackpot, finally! I grumbled to myself along the way. Why didn't they label the fricking buildings or classrooms properly?!

Then I considered that they wouldn't get a regular influx of new additions to their classes either.

I smiled half-heartedly at he red-headed woman behind the desk. Her name badge labelled her: Ms. Cope. Huh. Ironic.

She'd have to be able to cope pretty well if she worked in such purgatory.

She looked up, surprised and smiled back. "Hello? You must be our new student, Isabella?" she enquired.

I nodded. "It's Bella." I mumbled, she looked down, grasping a stack of papers. I bit my lip. I hoped they weren't all for me.

"Here you go, Isabella." She said, not having listened to me before. I forced another smile.

"Thank you." I said, taking a couple of sheets from her. She pointed me in the direction of my first class. I had Trig, with Mr. Varner. Oh the joy. Such a subject should be banned, if not illegal. The tedious work supplied that we, as future adults, would seldom use in our everyday life unless we became architects was inconsequentially dull.

I blushed bright red as he introduced me in front of the entire class.

I doubted I would like this teacher very much. It was exactly how I had imagined it would be like. I stared blindly at the front of the room, scribbling answers on my page, not bothering with accuracy. If he was a real asshole, he would call on me on my first day.

At least, in that aspect, he didn't betray himself. He kept the questions to the rest of the class, leaving me to stew in my loathe. I dragged my feet slowly out through the door, tripping on the door jam on the way out. I grumbled and bent to retrieve my books and pens.

A blonde boy approached me then, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows.

I frowned, averting my gaze. I would not become his idle play thing. Mother-fucking jock. One of his mother-fucking jock friends nudged his arm and nodded in my direction.

"Fuckers," I muttered, unable to mute my voice low enough.

"Damn right about that, sweet heart." One sneered.

I rolled my eyes, straightening up and stalking off in the other direction amidst the ludicrous cat calls and whistles thrown at my back.

I _hated_ high school. Especially the people like him who undoubtedly wouldn't make a GPA above the national retardation standards.

If there was one. I chuckled to myself and sighed. Was I really that pathetic? The answer was yes, yes I was. I had Biology next, a nice, wholesome looking girl named Angela sat next to me, clearly knowing how vulnerable I felt. I took a liking to her instantly. At least there were some decent people in this town.

I relaxed a minuscule, sitting and making small talk with Angela Webber, a class valedictorian, but not the bitchy kind.

I smiled for real this time, shocking myself. Lunch swept by in a rush of apples, soda, gawking and Mike-mother-fucking-Newton.

He leered at me from across the room, trying to catch my eyes with his. It didn't work and he seemed disappointed that my brains weren't in my boobs.

I snickered quietly along with Angela at his obvious lacking of intelligence...or anything for that matter over lunch while a girl whose name was...what?

Jesscia? Eyed me evilly from her chair across the table.

I assumed that she was one of his past conquests that he'd gotten sick of. Now that he was eye-balling me, unabashedly from where he sat, I was in girl speak, "stealing her boyfriend". I wanted to tell her she could have him, but like I said, I was a class A. Chicken shit.

Angela steered me to my English room and I entered, feeling a little brighter about the day after making a friend.

I glared balefully at the cursive written on the black board. The words read: Romeo and Juliet. I sighed, this was going to be all a big joke.

The girls were going to manically butcher this poor story. I cringed at the thought of a re-tell, typically a low grade assignment which I had assumed would be the curriculum here. That was foremost at the front of my mind. That was until _he_ showed up. My blood boiled, my breathing hitched and I could no longer give a flying fuck about Romeo or his Juliet.

As Mr. Cullen, our English teacher strode inside, his tall, lean and muscular body, his bronze tousled hair and green eyes, I knew only one thing.

I _had _to have him.


	2. Bad Bella

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

**Second installment of Indecent Affairs ;) hope you enjoy!**

Wait, hold up. _I had to have him?_

What in the world had I eaten? Was Charlie secretly drugging me?

I had to consider these, because the possessiveness desire of my thoughts in that moment were truly insane. I quickly tried to snap myself out of it as his feet neared his desk. "Welcome back to school, children." He began in a voice that in all rights should be illegal.

It was too beautiful, it was too suave and velvety. I needed to inhale, slowly, as not to gasp.

I had quit breathing completely once I saw his face. _Oh, god! You sick pathetic freak!_

I had to fully grip the situation. Okay, so, first and foremost, he was a _teacher_, for crying out loud.

As undeniably attractive he was, what I was dreaming about was not only sickening but also against the law! I took deep breaths, staring at my hands clasped tightly together on top of my desk. How did he have such a dramatic effect on me? He was just so vastly different...his looks were unique, unlike anyone I had ever come across.

I gulped loudly and slowly raised my eyes to the front. He was writing something on the board—the date and his name in his perfect script.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he went on normally, his voice didn't sound bored but...excited? "I'll be your English teacher for the year, hopefully.

That is, unless you all manage to drive me insane." He winked and I forgot my own freaking name. The girls at the front of the room were all swooning too. I shook my head to dispel the thoughts of him naked. That wouldn't do anything to help me.

But, I couldn't wallow in self pity forever, I had to straighten up and pretend that he was nothing more than a fabulous teacher. Because he wasn't. Anything more, that is. I watched him closely, he moved to the front of the desk, casually sitting himself up on the corner.

"Since I'm a new teacher here, I'm going to go around and ask you all your names and what you did over the Summer." Everybody moaned in unison. He chuckled. "Oh come, on. It'll be over soon, I promise." He whipped out a dazzling smile and all the girls obliged.

That also included me, fuck it. He started at his right: Jessica, I think her name was. "Hey everybody," she said in a clueless, look-at-me kind of way.

"I'm Jessica Stanley, but you can call me Jess." She grinned at everyone then turned to pointedly stare at Mr. Cullen. "Um, well, I didn't do much this summer, apart from hanging around La Push with my boyfriend, I mean, ex-boyfriend." I noticed Mr. Cullen perked an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth turning up.

He bit his lip so he wouldn't smile. I tried not to cack up right there in my seat. Jessica sat down awkwardly, huffing that no-one seemed interested.

That was basically what everyone did over their summer, spare Jessica's ex-boyfriend. I shuddered. Then his eyes landed on me. Coronary, here I come.

"And you?" he asked, smiling encouragingly. I cleared my throat, trying to make sure it didn't quaver as I spoke directly to him. "Um, I'm Bella Swan," I started out quietly, once the words had left my lips, everyone swivelled in their chairs to gawk at me. "I moved here to Forks from Phoenix over the summer." I said simply. They gawked even more.

The teacher raised his eyebrows. He pursed his lips. "You miss home?" he asked sweetly. What a relief someone finally asked me! Of course I did.

"Alot. It's too wet here." The surrounding students snickered.

I rolled my eyes but betrayed my act of nonchalance by blushing beet red.

Mr. Cullen was just smiling and nodding in what looked like understanding.

Fuck, did he have to have the best personality as well? This will be the death of me. I had thought for sure, that just being in this town and all of it's boring qualities, that I would die. But now, after this session, it was quite clear that this man would aid in my hopefully quick and painless demise. I shank back against my chair, covering my face with my hair. Please, just get on with being a boring, low grade, fucking teacher, I begged silently.

He straightened up, getting to his feet and walking around the desk to the chalk board. I took the time to ogle. God, what was I becoming?

All in the space of minutes, too. A whore. A dirty whore. Sigh.

"Well, I hope you're ready for Shakespeare," he said excitedly. I could almost smell the estrogens radiating from every female in the room as they turned to his attention. I slumped down lower, glaring at my biro.

"This semester, your assessment will be a deconstructive essay on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and a particular theme from the play." My mouth fell open. I was actually pleased. Something worthwhile to do for once, something that involved intelligence which seemed to be lacking among most of the girls here, well, apart from Angela.

I scrawled meticulous notes across my page, catching everything he said.

I hadn't realised how engulfed I had become in his lecture about Shakespeare's misogynist perspective's of women. I leaned my chin in my hand, watching and listening intently while the others stared out the windows or doodled in their notebooks.

His eyes kept falling back on me, noticing that I was the only one who was actually interested. How could you not be? He was dazzling, he was magnificent! He captured my attention with his wisdom, his very essence and his powerful words.

The bell rang. Fucking bells. My head snapped up, Mr. Cullen looked around confused, then glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Oh," he adjusted his watch and looked back at his class, half already fleeing the room. "Well, see ya." He muttered, then sighed.

I hadn't moved yet, I was still packing my books away, I needed to hurry, before I made a fool of myself.

_Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, don't talk to me!_ "Bella? Is it?" he asked, standing just in front of my desk. _Crap! _

I stood up and warily nodded, a tight smile on my face.

"You seemed to be the only one who didn't fall asleep," he commented, smirking.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm." I shrugged. "I thought it was interesting," I laughed shakily. "Really?" he raised his eyebrows, smiling hopefully. "It's just, I've never taught before, and...this is my first day. I wanted to make a good impression. Everybody here seems to love my sister," I frowned.

"Is she a teacher here as well?" I asked, surprised. He nodded. "Yes, Alice teaches in the art and music department. I also dabble in music," Oh, and he was multi-talented.

Christ on a cracker.

"Oh?" I breathed, he was just in such close proximity.

If I reached my hand out, I could touch his chest.

_No! Bad Bella, don't!_ I smiled sheepishly.

"I've got to go," I said shortly, scrambling out the door.

"Okay," he murmured behind me. "Oh shit, oh fuck all mighty. Holy friggen jesus!" I muttered breathlessly on my way to Gym Who would have thought? I entered the gym through the back, slipping into the change rooms. Jessica Stanley was already talking animatedly about how Mr. Cullen "eye fucked" her.

I almost gagged. Yeah, right. He did not. I kept muttering to myself about the whole thing. Alright, it's okay to be attracted to him, there's nothing you can do about that.

But that is as far as it goes! I nodded to myself, faithful in my resolve. I noticed my shirt was inside out. I quickly stripped it off and put it right.

I was even more inept than before today. I pulled on my gym shorts and stood up, jogging out into the brightly lit cavernous basketball court.

"Badminton?" I asked incredulously. Angela was in my class, thank the lord. She nodded, laughing. "I'm afraid so, Bella." She giggled.

I groaned. "Oh, no." I swear, I could almost cry. What a whiney little bitch I was turning into. I took deep breaths, feeling very dangerous with the racquet in my hand. As it was, I ended up throwing it over the net. It was all an accident of course, yet somehow had the best outcome.

Mike was the victim this time, copping it right between the eyes. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Sorry!" I called over the court. He came jogging around to me. Great, just great.

"Hey, baby. That's okay. You can hit this," he motioned to his crotch and I felt like driving the racquet right into his balls.

"Anytime." He winked and jogged back to his side. I made a barfing motion to Angela who rolled her eyes at him. Thankfully the bell went and I was free! I almost sprinted—which was not a good idea for me—back to the change rooms, ignoring Jessica's constant gushing about our English teacher.

I ran back out, avoiding Mike altogether. I threw my backpack into the truck, pushing it farther back, over to the passenger seat.

I took a deep breath and hoisted myself into the cabin. I was about to reverse out when a shiny, silver car blocked my exit. I was about to roll the window down and yell at the driver until I noticed whom it belonged to. Mr. Cullen sat in his seat, arm out the window, waiting behind a kid—Tyler, I think.

Tyler finally moved, making way for the rest of us. I watched him leave in his shiny, silver Volvo and Ray Bans sunglasses.

A honk sounded behind me, reminding me that I was now blocking the way. Shit. I thrust the truck into gear, neatly dodging the rest of the parked cars on my way out. Trying to keep my head on straight, I turned off onto the motorway and jetted home, I almost aqua planed across the wet roads. I collapsed exhaustedly on my bed after getting inside.

I stared at nothing, trying to go over the day's events in my head.

At about five, I hopelessly popped downstairs to start Charlie's dinner.

He didn't come home until late that night, so I ate alone. It didn't bother me in the least, I like being on my own, so did Charlie.

I stacked the dishes after washing them, cleaning every inch of the kitchen before retreating back to my room to stew in my thoughts.

My damn dirty thoughts about my English professor.

**;) teehee, she's a dirty girrl! R&R Reviews are better than Volvos and Ray Bans!**


	3. The play

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

Attraction. You couldn't describe it in one word, really. And it all depended on the person. What they were attracted to, that factored in. I suppose it could be characterised by sex and desire. When you feel attracted to someone...you want them in every way possible, to explore them and feel their skin, smell their scent.

I was miserably attracted to my _extremely _hot and also unavailable English teacher. Not unavailable because of a marriage or girlfriend—I didn't know if he had one or not—but because he was my teacher. He had to be at least seven years my senior.

Yet I couldn't help the craving to devour him.

_Enough with the dirty shit, Bella, Christ!_

I sighed. This was getting ridiculous.

I had been living in Forks for a month, every day was somehow both a burden and a blessing at the same time. Burden because, well, it was Forks after all, and I had to painfully endure an hour of English with an Adonis. Blessing, because I got to sit through an entire English lesson with an Adonis.

This was getting me nowhere. I was going to have to desensitise myself. Obviously, it was impossible to even dream about being with him, so I knew my crush was a moot point.

So, I needed to hate him, maybe it might be easier that way. At least I wouldn't be panting after him like some little love-sick school girl.

God, I'd rather be with some jock than to become _that_ girl.

Shit, I was already that girl.

My heart thumped unevenly as he approached my desk, reading over my shoulder.

I would have _hated_ it if it were any other teacher, but when he did it, I just imagined him caressing the back of my neck, pulling my hair back and kissing up and down my throat...

My cheeks flared and I ducked my head.

"Sorry to embarrass you," he said from behind me. I jumped, turning to face him. "Um, what?" I mumbled incoherently.

"Sorry I'm being so rude, but you're ideas, they're perfect!" he commended. I blushed deeper. "Thank you." I smiled. He grinned back and then spoke louder for the rest of the class.

"You could all learn something from Bella." He stated, walking around the rest of the desks. Jessica rolled her eyes and went back to her work. I glared daggers at the back of her head.

I wish he didn't praise me, it only made me like him more.

And, I couldn't afford any more of that.

He paused at the front of the room then, opening his mouth to speak. "Listen up," he said, everyone raised their heads, Jessica grinned widely.

"I'm going to be reading an excerpt from the play, just to get you guys in the creative mood, would anyone like to volunteer to play Juliet." I kept my hand glued flat to the desk.

_Do _not_ put your hand up!_ I shouted at myself. "Bella? Would you mind?" he asked smiling.

_I certainly fucking mind!_ "Not at all." I murmured. "Now you're going to have to raise your voice a bit so everyone can hear." I nodded, clearing my throat and stalking up to the front of the class with my book in hand.

I hated public speaking, but I felt surprisingly comfortable at the moment. He motioned for me to stand beside him as he sat on the corner of the desk.

"This is the first time Romeo and Juliet meet at the Capulet's ball." He stated, clearing his throat before beginning.

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss." He said in his smooth seductive tone.

I almost choked. "Good pilgrim," I started, my voice broke. I cleared my throat again. ", you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers'..." I pause before murmuring the next word.

"Kiss." I breathed deeply as he went on, unperturbed. "Have not saint's lips, and holy palmers too?" He asked, reading only occasionally from the script. He turned to me with questioning eyes, enthralled and consumed in his role.

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." I said. It was ironic, that our roles seemed reversed—for the moment. Romeo, Mr. Cullen, was asking for a kiss from an unsure Juliet, me. Yet if the situation ever arose, I'm sure I would be the one trying to do the persuasion.

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." He said, smiling crookedly.

_Just stop imagining ravishing him!_ "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." My voice shook slightly and I tried to control it as I stared into his eyes.

He leaned his face closer, a concentrated but mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." He said innocently, moulding into his character perfectly. "Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged." He continued.

"Then have my lips the sin that they have took." I didn't need to read the book to know that line.

He smiled crookedly again, glancing back to the class. I forgot they were there.

The bell rang before he could say anything else.

I clutched the play script in my hands before stiffly turning back to my seat, gathering my belongings.

I slung my bag over my shoulder, the classroom was empty but for the two of us. I could feel the electricity in the air, it was palpable.

"You did excellently." He commented, smiling in that unbelievable way he did. Why, oh why? "No problem." I shrugged, trying for indifference. It was a Friday, so I had English for last period. I had nowhere to go.

"You doing well with your essay?" he asked expectantly, clearing up his binders crammed full of papers. I nodded, shrugging. "Yeah, I guess." He pursed his lips. "That doesn't sound so convincing."

I shifted my weight, uncomfortable under his piercing gaze. "It's fine, really. I like the subject, I'm having fun with it." I smiled fondly. He smiled back, surprised. "That's great to hear." He grinned, moving to the door. I walked out, trying not to make bodily contact. My arm brushed his hand.

_Oh jesus._

I felt like either collapsing into a bundle on the floor or tearing his clothes off and pushing him back inside the room. Neither complied with inconspicuousness.

I better just keep calm, then.

"Well, if you ever need any help, don't hesitate to ask, Bella." He spoke softly, bending his head down slightly to meet my eyes.

I nodded. "Thank you...Mr. Cullen." I stuttered, strolling off down the hallway before I lost it.

The school was abandoned. The parking lot was practically empty apart from my truck.

I got home later than usual. Today had been a tough day. Other days, when Mr. Cullen wasn't articulating Romeo's lines to me, I could pretty much handle class.

Days like today, and I was lying on my bed, staring up at nothing, imagining him again.

I knew it was wrong, god did I know. But that was irrelevant when it came to stopping this attraction.

It didn't help in the least, knowing that it was wrong, that only made it more desirable somehow. The idea of forbidden fruit...it was so...delicious.

He _was_ delicious.

The rain patted against the roof outside, I curled up under my thick, down, purple comforter.

My blue painted ceiling was invisible to me. I didn't see it. I only saw two green orbs or light.

I needed to get out. I needed to meet other people or something.

I needed to get my mind off of him.

But I didn't like many people. Socialising like a normal human was hard for me. I hated it, common mundane things like parties. They were just so...frivolous.

Girls went there to get drunk to look good for the guys. Guys went there to get drunk and hook up with the good looking girls. It was a cycle they went through.

And if everyone were whores like they were at my old school, they would have been through everyone, all the girls would have kissed all the guys, all the guys would have fucked all the girls.

Well, except for me, obviously.

I had no intentions of giving up myself like that. I would lose all self-respect.

Some of the girls here handed theirs out like baked goods. At least I had something left to give, when the time was right, of course.

That time hadn't come to lose my virginity.

I didn't know when, but it had to feel right before I would do anything.

As I stared at my ceiling some more, pondering all this, I resolved to get to know more people. How bad could they be? They couldn't all be Mike Newtons, could they? No. Which was why I needed to get to know them.

I needed to get my mind onto other things. I needed to run with my own crowd, people my own age.

I felt a slight tightening in my chest.

This was imperative, though. If I was going to make it through the rest of high school, this was what I had to do.

I remembered a boy who spoke to me my second week. He helped me pick my books up after they spilled out of my locker when I tried shoving them in.

He politely introduced himself, not like those jocks who open with a cheesy line or a 'yo mumma' joke. He was actually nice.

He had shortly cropped, jet black hair and russet brown skin. He was Native American, his skin was a beautiful colour which you come to envy being a washed out albino.

His name was Jacob. Jacob Black.

**Oh yes. I did. I put Jacob Black in the story.**

**Teehee. This is going to mess shit up. Well, I guess he's there to try and balance things out for her, well that's her intention anyway. It may not go down as smoothly, though. Which is only gonna make it more juicy!**

**R&R Reviews are better than washed out albinos.**


	4. Detention

**Haven't reached the juiciness yet in this chapter. But will be coming soon. Hold tight.**

_His hand cupped my cheek, brushing my wavy hair from my cheek. His finger tips skimmed the skin over my cheek bone, down to my jaw line and chin. He leaned his face closer, his breath brushing hotly against my lips. "Yes," I whispered. "Kiss me."_

An annoying buzzing interrupted my dream.

I woke with a start, my head whipping around to my alarm clock. I slapped my hand over the snooze button, rolling back over to try and salvage the dream. "No! No! No!" I grumbled, whinging. The perfect dream and it was ruined by my fucking alarm clock! I hated Mondays, like the song goes, except I wasn't a psychopath.

"You fucker," I muttered, turning the alarm off and sitting up, rubbing at my eyes.

I got ready for school, dressing in jeans and a tight blue sweater.

I trotted down the stairs gloomily, trying to remember exactly how my dream happened.

But it was no use, my mind was all hazy. I sighed, munching on a granola bar from the pantry, slinging my bag over my shoulder and bidding Charlie a good bye.

I pulled into the parking lot, trying not to search for that shiny Volvo and the person occupying it. My eyes scanned instinctually, out of habit, really. They found it, the silver finish of that magnificent car, but it was empty.

I bit back the disappointment. But it was irrational. I would see him today anyway. Just not first up.

Then I remembered my decision on Friday evening. I was going to forget this nonsense with Mr. Cullen, I was going to make friends, guy ones preferably.

I didn't know how I was going to accomplish this, though. I wasn't exactly friendly to most people. I didn't even _speak _to most people.

"Hey, Jacob!" I called, spotting an opening. He was strolling down the path outside the cafeteria, hands in his black hoodie pockets. He wore jeans and tattered sneakers, his hair was mussed like he had left it that way from waking up. Is that what all guys did? He turned his head at the sound of my name, frowning.

I waved my hand and started toward him. His face brightened, a warm smile spread across his face.

That was a good start. I felt like it would be quite easy to get to know Jacob. He was the kind of happy-go-lucky kid, well, that's what I had picked up from our one encounter. I had been known to be quite perceptive given my past.

I had known Phil was right for my mother. He gave a good energy. I was sceptical at first about their relationship, worrying that the age difference was going to ruin it, and that Phil was just using my mother. But when I finally got the chance to meet him, I knew straight away that he meant no harm.

It was practically the same with Jacob. His face screamed sunshine and puppies, ironically, seeing as the Quileute tribe were descendants from wolves.

I tried to walk briskly over to him, the grass was damp and dew covered. My breath made clouds of visible steam in icy air of the morning.

"Hey, Bella? Right?" he asked, once I reached him. Though I knew he knew my name. He was just being casual. So was I, trying not to make a fool of myself.

I slowed to a walk once I reached his side, falling into step with him. I never realised how tall he was, he was taller than anyone else in our grade.

I gawked rudely at his stature as he stared ahead, a small smile on his lips. "So how you getting used to this place?" he asked. I shook my head, trying to collect my thoughts. "Um, okay, I guess." I murmured, shrugging. "As used to it as I can get." I said wistfully. He looked down at me with a perked eyebrow.

"What's your favourite class?" he prodded politely. _English. _"Er, they're all pretty much the same." He chuckled. "Is it that dreary here?" I laughed for once—shocked at the sound of it. "I'm sorry I'm being such a downer." I apologised.

"Naw, it's fine. It's good to have someone to talk to. I don't mind if you complain all day." He smiled cheekily. I blushed, ducking my head.

I took my opportunity.

"Hey, do you want to come sit with my group at lunch?" I offered hopefully.

He nodded vigorously. "Definitely." He responded, exceptionally happy.

I was getting to like Jacob even more. He was so nice, I wondered idly why he didn't have a girlfriend yet. I grinned, and he grinned back, we separated once we reached the hall. He went to his locker and I went to mine.

I stowed my bag away and trudged off to Bio.

~~~___~~~

My plan was coming into fruition.

I had spoken to Jacob, extremely calm and cool. It was nice to know that I could still converse with humans, I wasn't completely alienated from society.

That was comforting.

Jacob was my vice, something that was going to pull me out of this abyss. I was going to get on with my life like a normal teenager. I was going to forget everything else.

Because I had to at some point.

I wasn't going to delude myself into thinking about an outlandish relationship with my English teacher. That was so stupid to even fantasise about. I often felt disgusted by myself for wanting him. It wasn't because he was repulsive, quite the opposite, he was alluring with his charm, it was because I expected better of myself.

Besides, I think I was already getting over it.

Okay, that was an overstatement.

But still, I was on the road to recovery.

Jacob came to sit with me at lunch, bringing over his tray full of food. Man, did he eat a lot.

He smiled sheepishly as he dragged a seat out, not used to sitting with my 'crowd', so to speak. He scooted closer to me, uncomfortable being so close to the other girls. The only other boys that sat with us were Ben Cheney, Angela Webber's boyfriend and Tyler Crowley. Mike did sometimes, but he had an unspoken obligation to his football friends, unable to sit with us—thank god.

He still cast furtive glances over the lunch room toward me, sighing unhappily whenever I would avert my gaze and speak to Jacob instead. We spoke about small things at first, becoming more acquainted over a few weeks time. The casual friendship transformed into a bond, a connection.

He soon became familiar with the rest of my friends, chatting animatedly with Angela, Ben and me. Sometimes, he even spoke with Tyler, usually discussing sports or the next game at the school.

I lavished Jacob's company; it often distracted me from my other...indiscretion, i.e. Edward Cullen. I was getting a better hold over my emotions when I was in his class, it was getting better. For that I was grateful. It was nothing like that first day anymore; I could joke about it to myself. Laugh at how childish I had been.

It was a Friday again, I had English as my last subject of the day. I was excited for the weekend for once.

Whilst at lunch, Jacob had invited us all to attend a beach trip with him and his friends from the Quileute reservation. He had planned with them for a few weeks, we were going to La Push. Now, I didn't usually go to the beach, there were no beaches in the middle of a desert back in Phoenix. But I never missed them or had the inclination to go searching for one.

The idea of going seemed somewhat...daunting.

I knew I was being a scaredy cat. What was the worst that could happen? I mulled over the many horrendous possibilities in my head, scrawling circles over the cover of my note book. I wasn't very good at swimming. I only knew the basics. I didn't even know if swimming was involved in this beach trip.

Would I have to wear a bikini? That almost made me shudder. Wearing a bikini in a place like this? You'd have to be insane. And if you were insane, you probably wouldn't even bother with clothes. You'd be naked. At least, that's what I assumed crazy people were like. But another definition of crazy could be interpreted as someone trying to define crazy, thinking about insane, naked loonies while she was supposed to be writing notes or something.

Wait—what were we learning? I forgot. I hadn't been listening. In fact, come to think of it, I hadn't been listening to any of my classes for the past four weeks.

Huh. That wasn't like me.

I contemplated this some more, ignoring Mr. Cullen's lecture, completely tuning out and succumbing to my rambling thoughts.

What was I going to make for dinner tonight? Charlie was going fishing today, maybe he might bring some home with him. He was always raving over his friend, Harry Clearwater's fish fry. I could make that, that would make him happy.

That was probably the reason he went fishing anyway.

That and being a cop was all his life entailed, come to think of it. Did he do anything else with his time? He did watch sports, he watched a lot of T.V. when he was at home. I never do, everything he always watches never appeals to me. I can't stand doing sports, why would I want to go home and watch someone else attempt it?

Stupid, I thought.

"Isabella." My name snapped me out of my internal chatter, bringing me back down to reality.

"What?" I murmured, surprised and dazed. Mr. Cullen was staring straight at me, his expression angry. "I have been asking you for the answer for almost five minutes. Pay attention." He snapped. I flinched. Ouch. That hurt more than it should.

I hadn't realised I had been out of it for the entire two weeks since coming to my resolve.

He narrowed his eyes at me, his mouth a hard line. "Get your head out of the clouds and back into work, now." He demanded. I grimaced, my eyes stinging.

I _never_ got in trouble. "And I want you to see me after class." He added as an after-thought, his voice still sharp.

Great, just fucking terrific. Where was Charlie's 38 revolver when you needed it? I couldn't be alone with him. It would ruin my hard work of trying to forget him. I had blurred my attention in all my English classes in an effort to take my mind off him and onto other things.

It had worked, exceptionally well as a matter of fact. But after snapping me out of my mental fog, I was more alert than ever. I watched him intently, hearing everything he said.

I even observed closely his posture and his clothes.

He stood rigidly, his hands leaning against the desk. He was reading from his notes, motioning with his hands to accentuate his sentences.

_Oh, god. Don't go back there!_ My conscious begged me.

I tried, believe me. I fucking tried so hard. But nothing was ever going to get rid of this...feeling.

I had come to accept that, even if I couldn't admit it out loud.

He was talking about Hamlet, our assessment for next term. I had missed this? How in the world had I been so obstinate and oblivious?

"Your analytical essays for Romeo and Juliet are due at the end of next week, don't forget, I won't take excuses, guys." He reminded the class. They nodded, indifferent.

I was having a small panic attack in my chair.

_Next _week?! My head screamed at me with spectacular fervour. What the fuck, Bella?

I was a good student. I always did homework, finished it on time if not earlier.

Assignments I often got completed before they were due, like my homework, they were meticulous, I hardly ever got lower than a high B. Right now? I would be lucky if I passed.

Somehow the thought of that didn't affect me as much as it used to have. I was still panicking, but that was more about the fact that I was in trouble with Mr. Cullen.

I was trying to brace myself, prepare for the onslaught.

The bell rang and it felt like someone calling me up to death row. I took a deep, shaky breath, stacking my books and walking warily up to his desk. The room emptied quickly, another end to another week.

"Care to explain where you've been these past few weeks?" he hedged, a stiff, controlled expression on his face. I felt my face flush, I bit my lip.

"I-I'm sorry, sir...I," I didn't have an excuse. What was I going to say? I had been ignoring your lectures because I need to haze this class out so I can stop feeling things for you.

He shook his head. "What's happened to you, Bella?" he asked, his voice softer and sadder. "You were the best student in the class and your works been slipping. Are there problems at home?" he pressed. I shook my head. "I don't know what's wrong with me...I—I don't know what to say..." I stuttered, my voice trembling. I sniffed, wiping at my eyes frantically. "Bella," he sighed. I turned my face away. "Listen to me." He said, ducking his head to he could look at my face. He touched my arm in a gesture of appropriate comfort.

I wish he would be inappropriate.

Damn it, stop that!

"Have you finished your essay yet?" he queried. I sighed, shaking my head. He frowned disapprovingly before reaching into his jacket on the desk, recovering a tissue. "Here," he said, handing it to me. "Thank—you." I hiccupped. "I can help you with it, if you're having trouble okay? You need to get back in the loop before you fall even more off track." He said, standing up from the desk then. He walked over to his books, coming up with a post-it pad. "You will be attending lunch detentions with me, we can go over everything you've missed and I'll help you with your essay. Fair?"

I nodded vigorously; glad I wasn't receiving a harsher scolding.

He handed it to me and I clutched it in my hands with the tissue I had used to dab my eyes. "I'll make more of an effort, Mr. Cullen. I promise." I said, my voice thick. He nodded. "Don't let me down, Bella." He said, picking up his belongings.

He let me go then.

I stalked out of the school grounds, paper and tissue in hand, tears streaking down my face.

I wasn't only just upset for being in trouble, I was euphoric.

I was going to spend an entire week in detention with Edward—I mean, Mr. Cullen.

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	5. Here come the drums

**Dislcaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

**I have been so good to you guys, three chapters in a row!! Hope I get some good reviews in return! LOVE!**

"Take a seat, I'll be right back." Mr. Cullen murmured, leaving me alone in the instrumental room. I stood in the middle of the room, unaware of what to do while I waited.

I stowed my bag by the piano, sitting down on the bench, trailing my fingers softly over the keys.

It was pretty well in tune, but I didn't know how to play it.

I wish I did, I could have learnt when Renee sent me to lessons, but I just quit like she did. It was a trait I had inherited from her.

The music room was simple. It stood on the far end of the school, out of sight from most of the other rooms. The walls were painted an off-white colour, the carpet was plain and grey, indented in places where there had been heavy instruments standing once.

The windows were small and high up the wall. There was a marker board up the front of the room, the only modern thing in this room. It hadn't been updated seeing a how not many students chose music as an elective. There were a select few that were talented in that aspect. Unfortunately, I was not one of them.

I had considered picking it up again, now that I was older and could actually pay attention. But I was disheartened by the melodic tunes coming from this room at lunch some days.

I could never play like that. There was someone who admired the piano, too. At this school. I would love to watch them play, see how they did it.

It must take a lot of patience and skill and concentration.

Other traits that I didn't possess.

I sighed forlornly as I fingered the keys, creating a messed up tune.

"You play?" His deep voice sounded from beside me. I jumped, gasping. His eyes widened and I knew he was trying not to laugh. "Um, no." I breathed. "But, I've always wanted to." I sighed. "Why don't you start now?" he asked easily, like it was that simple. "I don't have the patience. Or the time." I explained with a dismissive wave of my hand.

He took a seat beside me and my heart rate sped up.

His fingers ghosted over the ivory keys, he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before staring back down at his hands.

A soft, beautiful song filled the room. It was unbelievable. "Wow," I breathed, shaking my head. I laughed once, shocked. "You're an amazing player." I praised softly.

He chuckled. "Why thank you, Ms. Swan." He grinned smugly. I wanted to roll my eyes at him and slap him on the arm. But, I needed to stay appropriate and professional, no matter how hard that proved to be.

Which was certainly, fucking hard!

He bent over, pulling a stack of papers from the floor.

"Here," he said, handing me an old essay from the previous year. "I'm not telling you to copy, I'm just giving you an example." He said. I nodded. Duh, of course I wouldn't copy from it. Besides, the longer it took me to finish this thing, the more time I had in detention.

Not exactly punishment if you asked me, when it was in his company.

I could smell him from where I sat, so close. He wore cologne, something lovely, sophisticated and tasteful. Not overpowering like Mr. Varner. I sighed in content as I got to work, shifting from the piano bench to the floor.

I sprawled out on the ancient carpet, scattering the papers around me. I grabbed the Romeo and Juliet play script.

It was kind of hard to concentrate when he was sitting on the floor right next to you. It nagged at me the entire time.

I could have sworn he had a magnet in his fucking chest. I kept feeling myself unintentionally leaning towards him. I had to restrain myself.

I reigned in my desires, hoping to remain composed throughout my detention. While I worked over my assignment, he marked tests from his juniors.

We made small talk, too, which was considerably satisfying, no matter how trivial.

I was so comfortable, so happy.

Then...the bell rang. I groaned. "Ugh, I don't want to go to Gym!" I muttered, internally cursing whoever invented the fucking thing.

He chuckled, amused. "It's so not funny!" I squeaked. That just made him laugh harder. "Sorry," he apologised through giggles.

I had to laugh with him, his happiness was contagious and I couldn't help the giggles that bubbled from my chest. I ended up curled up on the floor, my stomach aching from so much laughter.

I wiped at my eyes, Edward sniffed and began gathering his test papers up from the floor.

I picked up all of my shit, too.

He ran a hand through his bronze, tousled hair, his eyes glinting cheerfully. He yawned, covering his mouth which only made me yawn in response.

I blinked a couple of times, trying to psych myself out for another torturous session or P.E.

I sighed, this was going to be tough. Edward pursed his lips, calculating. He sighed then, rubbing the back of his neck. "Would you like to help me shift around some stuff in here? I need to get the drums back in from the Drama room." I stared. Huh? When I didn't respond, he elaborated.

"I'm sure I can get you excused from Gym," My eyes brightened excitedly. "Yes!" I squealed. "But just this once." He warned, his voice firm. I nodded. "Absolutely." He smiled then and motioned with his chin to the door. I walked out first. "I'll just go put my books away." I said.

He nodded. "I'm going to go put these on my desk." He held up his folder full of tests. "Meet me in the Drama room." He called over his shoulder.

I darted around the corner, stealthily making my way to my locker, shoving my books away before practically running back to him. My feet came to a screeching halt.

This was very dangerous territory. What was I thinking? You were helping him move a drum set.

That was very...anti-climatic.

There was no need to be so fucking excited, but I couldn't help myself could I?

I was like and epileptic on meth.

I shook my head, running my hands through my hair, trying to calm down. I took a few deep breaths before I started walking again—casually—to where he said to meet.

I opened the door to the Drama Department office, poking my head in. "Um, is Mr. Cullen here?" I asked the women inside. Suddenly, at the mention of his name, their heads snapped up and they muttered out a response in unison like they owed it to him.

He could rule the world, he could influence anyone.

Fuck.

I skipped over to the theatre room where the school plays and musicals were performed. I never took part, nor will I ever. I had learnt a long time ago, in primary school during a class production that I was a terrible actress.

Never again would I make that mistake.

I pushed the heavy door open, having a little trouble.

It moved away easily then. I noticed Edward—Mr. Cullen standing behind it, holding it open for me with a crooked grin. "Weakling." He chastised, I glared teasingly. He chuckled and let the door fall closed behind us, leaving us in the dim light of the stage area.

The seats went up in rows, the stage on the floor near the door. It was like a basket ball court, really. Just smaller. The big, black, square stage lights dotted the line between the audience and where people performed.

"We're going to take it apart before we move it, then put it back together once it's back in it's home." He explained, walking forward and dismantling the bass drum from the rest of the arrangement.

I bit my lip, stepping forward but unsure of how to help exactly. "Here," he grabbed my hand and wrapped it around the symbols. "You can take them first, they aren't attached, so you can pick them straight up." I nodded, pulling them away from the contraption.

"So, why aren't you a music teacher?" I mused as he held the door open for me, dragging the big ass motherfucking bass drum through behind him. "Um..." he started, and I wondered if maybe I'd been rude for asking.

"I like music, I love it. But my real passion is with literature." He said smiling fondly, hoisting the drum up into his arms. The symbols clashed together, echoing. I cringed, gritting my teeth. He chuckled and kept walking. "Maybe I should have given you the drum sticks." He ribbed. "I am perfectly capable of carrying these." I said defensively.

He chuckled some more and it was like a serenade to my ears.

I sighed quietly as we made it to the music room again. "What were they using the drums for anyway?" I wondered aloud. "The drama group were performing a rendition of Kirk Cobain's life." I raised an eyebrow. "Did you see it?" He bit his lip and looked down at me doubtfully. I laughed.

"Guess it wasn't Oscar-worthy." I said. He grimaced. "Ugh, it was horrible. They fucking abolished him." I stared wide eyed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to curse." He said, grunting as he moved the drum through the door way. I laughed again. I seemed to do that a lot when I was around him. "Oh, god, you don't know how hard it is to keep decent around here."

Only I knew the double meaning to my words. He laughed at that. "Well, I wouldn't want to be a bad influence on you, Bella." I grinned. He could be a bad influence.

I don't know what it was but when I thought about Mr. Cullen and being bad, I get all hot and bothered.

I'm just glad he couldn't read minds.

"So what's it like living in the Valley of the Sun?" he smiled down at me as we made our way back—empty handed—to the Drama room to get the rest of the drum set.

"Hmm..." I sighed, considering. "I miss it so much." I hummed sadly. "I loved it there, in Phoenix. I lived with my Mum and her husband Phil." He was twiddling his fingers together. "Is that why you moved here?" he asked cautiously, aware he was treading on a personal matter.

"Sort of. Phil is minor league base ball, they travel around the country, so..." I shrugged. "Charlie, my dad, had a room for me. And, I needed to finish school in the one place, so I decided it was easier if I moved here." I explained. "I'm regretting it, I think." This surprised him. "How so?" he pushed.

I racked my brain. "Well...I don't know. I don't seem to be...fitting in...?" I said it like a question. "It's just a lot to adjust to, you know?" He nodded in understanding. "Where did you live before you came here?" I asked as we re-entered the dark Drama room. "I lived in Vermont, actually." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Do you miss it?" I asked, already knowing the answer. "No," Okay, maybe not. "I do, at times. It's just...I much rather being on my own. I lived with my mother and father there while I went to college." "Huh," I nodded, not really understanding but sympathising, somewhat.

"How old are you?" I blurted out unabashedly. Fuck, why did I say that?

"Twenty five," he smiled crookedly. "Yeah, yeah. I know, I'm _too young_ to be a teacher, right?" he asked mockingly. "No, it's not that. You seem..." I searched for the right words to describe him and his teaching. Magnificent? Godly? Fan-fucking-tastic? Better keep it light. "Well informed." I rested on.

Lame.

He snorted. "That's funny." We approached the rest of the drum set then. I reached for another bass drum, or so I thought. I tried to reef it out of it's place—not the best idea. My fingers of my right hand got caught between the drum and a metal stand. I yelped. "Fuck!" I snarled, very un-lady like.

I didn't give a fuck. "What'd you do?" Edward asked, quickly rushing to my side. He lifted the drum effortlessly, taking my hand in his.

"Fuck, that fucking hurt!" I hissed.

He pressed his lips together to keep from laughing at my outburst and leaned his face down, closely examining my bruised fingers. "They seem to be okay...would you like me to escort you to the nurse?" he offered sincerely. I raised an eyebrow and snorted back at him. "_That_ is funny."

He frowned, still not letting go of my hand.

"What is?" he asked, puzzled. "I get in accidents all the time. This is nothing. I don't need to go to the nurse," I giggled. The pain was receding already, mostly due to his touch.

Silence fell between us...

It was an odd silence. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't a normal silence either.

We just stared until he finally broke our gaze, glancing down at my hand in his. He ran his finger tips over my knuckles. "If you insist..." he murmured, shrugging, gently rubbing them with his thumb before giving my hand back.

I snapped like a freaking twig.

I stepped forward, pushing myself up on my toes to reach his face with mine.

Fiery thirst burned inside me.

I pulled his face down with my good hand, pressing my lips to his.

My lips parted, taking his bottom lip between them. I tasted him, felt his lips against mine and it was wonderful—beyond anything I had conjured up in my imagination.

All too soon...his shock wore off.

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	6. Fifteen minute boyfriend

**Please don't kill me!**

His shock wore off.

With my eyes closed, I couldn't see anything.

I felt his hands move to my arms—expecting him to pull me closer.

He did...then pushed me away. I stumbled back, our lips breaking apart, my expression was confused. I thought it had all been right. I wanted it to be, I also needed it to be. But from where I stood, the look on his face just shattered those fantasies.

"Bella," He choked, his eyes wide, he looked into mine then, shocked and...incredulous.

"What the hell are you thinking?!" he hissed, letting go of me in an instance like my skin was acidic to touch. A lump rose in my throat because I realised I had delude myself even further than I thought. He didn't want or desire me. I was some stupid little teenage girl with a school yard crush—that just happened to be on her teacher.

I felt my face contort, I tried to compose it, tried not to let my features display the hurt I felt with his acceptable and perfectly rational rejection. He ran both his hands through his hair nervously, he was freaking out it seemed. He looked around the room, anywhere but my eyes.

"I think you should get to class." He murmured, his voice hard. I frowned, blinking back tears as he told me to leave him alone. The dim light of the room hid most of my face from him, but he stood in line with a stream of sun coming in from one of the windows. "I'm sorry," he started, still not looking at me—he must be disgusted, ashamed.

I was. I was so humiliated with myself. I wanted to curl up into a miniscule ball, bury myself in a hole and hope to god that no-one would ever find me again. I always thought the phrase 'broken heart' was just an exaggeration of the hurt you sometimes felt.

But, it was physically tearing apart in my chest...leaving a gaping hole in it's wake.

Instead of hoping to have him change his mind and kiss me back, I hope I could become invisible.

The second seemed more likely to happen at this point. He took a deep, steadying breath.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am _your teacher! _And you, you are _my student!_" He whispered evenly.

The muscles around his eyes and jaw were tensed. I could see this was a very difficult situation he found himself in after being so carefree and happy minutes prior.

I felt so stupid for acting out my instincts. It was just the atmosphere...the voice in my head...the feeling in my heart that had told me to push forward, to take that leap—only to get trampled on. I needed to invest in psychotherapy. Obviously, my hunches were _way_ off the bat.

I couldn't find it in me to answer him or say anything else.

I would just blubber out incomprehensible apologies—it would only make me more pitiful. I needed to saviour the little shred of dignity I had left over from that beating. I took a deep breath, tears falling and turned, running out the door.

I pushed hard on the heavy wood, freeing myself into the empty halls outside the Drama department before hearing a faint, muttered 'fuck, what just happened?' behind me. Where would I go? I couldn't just rock up to Gym class now, I would be far too late, earning another detention from Coach Clapp.

No thank you. So what now? I decided this was the time for a visit to the bathroom—an hour long visit. I stormed in, tripping over numerous times before finally making it to the furthest stall. I gripped the latch, closing the door behind me and locking it, sliding down on my back until I felt the ground beneath me.

I wave of despicable sobs erupted from somewhere within me...a shattering undertone of hurt shaded the crying.

I wondered if anyone could hear me. Would they come to investigate? Would they ask what was wrong?

If they did, what would I tell them? There was no way I would throw myself to the sharks and admit exactly what had happened. I may be hysterical, but I wasn't dim witted. I knew very well that Edward would lose his job and I would be labelled as the class tramp for the rest of my school life, then my parents would be called.

And, knowing how protective Charlie was and the fact that he was a respectable man of the law, I didn't doubt he would take this to court...had anything happened.

Thats just it, nothing did happen. Our lips bumped—so what? Nobody had to know about it, it could stay an awkward, soul shattering secret between my English professor and me.

I knew that as I thought about it, I would rather take the ostracism and name-calling if it meant something _had _happened.

I sniffed, the last of my tears dotting on the tiles below me. I felt like hitting something, releasing the anger and frustration I felt towards myself. I wouldn't be able to hate myself forever, though. Who I really wanted to hate was Edward.

I so desperately wanted to hate him, the need to do that almost made it possible. I needed to rebel.

I had lived by the rules for so long, only just jumping off the 'good girl' wagon only to fall into a shitty pile of rocks.

Why should I stop now? In this drab town and all it's anti-climatic glory, there wasn't much trouble I could get into. But with the help of friends, I'm sure I could make that impossibility into a certain. I knew people—Jacob was known to be connected and be sort of a partier. He was a great start. I could definitely learn something there.

Without a second thought about it, I had concluded on fucking up my life—just for the fucking fun of it.

~~~___~~~

The Forks High school Spartans vs. The Quileute Wolves.

It was football season and Jacob was training vehemently every day after school.

"Jake?" I called to him as he did gay-looking little star-jumps out on the field. I rolled my eyes at him, reckoning that he did it to show off rather than for building strength or stealth like he explained. He nodded towards me, halting his movements and breaking away from the crowd of his team mates.

He crossed the short distance over the grass and to the bleachers where I lazed sadly.

He frowned as he took in my posture and teary eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, his big brown eyes concerned. I smiled wryly at him. I waved my hand about. "Nothing...just...teachers." He groaned.

"I hate those fuckers," he muttered. I shook my head. He had _no_ idea. "What happened?" he asked, sitting down next to me, he had his uniform on, his gridiron tights stretched over his muscular legs. I frowned, staring at my feet before I answered.

"I'm just...pissed off at the world," I mumbled, wiping at my eyes again.

"I know how you feel, babe." He responded. I stiffened at his use of the word babe, but then brushed it off.

It's not like it mattered anyway. I wasn't taken or spoken for.

No matter how much I wanted to be. I glared out across the field, absentmindedly watching his team pass the ball around in a circle. Jacob played with his helmet, tossing it between his hands. Before I knew it, he had his arm around my shoulders, his helmet at his feet.

I shrugged, may as well take what comfort I can get from whoever was crazy enough to offer it to me.

He rubbed my arm tenderly. "It's okay, teachers can be real ass holes," he sneered, I let my head rest against his shoulder with a shaky sigh. "Yeah, you got that fucking right." I mumbled. I thought it had all been clear before my eyes. He was there, I was there, the room was dim and with no-one else around.

But the moment the clouded haze had disappeared from the shock of the moment, he had pushed me away just like he should have, leaving me humiliated beyond recognition, never wanting to be seen by him again. Well, that wasn't entirely true. I wanted to be seen by him, rather, I wanted him to _see _me.

The way I saw him, the way lovers saw each other.

The effort was wasted once I realised he was entirely professional and _very_ uninterested.

Any normal, stable person would have known this from the beginning. Guess I wasn't as sane as I originally thought, then.

I sighed, Jacob took my hand with the one that wasn't wrapped around me. I took my head off his shoulder to look into his eyes, calculating. He stared back, bewildered. He looked away, his eyes were...reluctant, his face...self conscious. That was different. I had never seen an embarrassed Jacob before.

He cleared his throat before he spoke again. "Bella," he began with a sigh.

"Bella, I really like you..." My heart constricted.

Crap, why?

Why did he like me?

Even I didn't like me.

"And, I mean..._like_ like." He stared down at our entwined fingers. I hadn't noticed they were like that.

"I want to...you know, I mean...do you—want to go out with me?" he asked, his eyes darting between me and his feet. I bit my lip and I knew that in that moment of hesitation, he would be dying, figuratively. But still. "Okay," I squeaked out.

His eyes brightened a million shades lighter once the words sunk into his brain. "Really?" he asked, grinning. I nodded, smiling slightly. I had, after all, resolved to get to know more people, find my own happiness from another outlet that didn't involve fucking a teacher.

_Hmm.._ Wow, had my attraction really gone that far? Yes, yes it fucking had. I tried to keep my mind out of the gutter, those days of fantasising over him were gone, now.

I had to make them go away or else go insane. However, insane sounded pretty appealing about now. Except...well, there was the running around naked thing.

I sighed contentedly—not happily, just...satisfied? I would give this a go, what else did I have to lose? Jacob was a giddy little mess. I found that both cute and heart breaking. I hadn't realised how eager he was. I certainly didn't share the same emotions, but maybe I could learn to.

He took his arm from around my shoulders and held my hands in his. I raised an eyebrow. What was he just going to hold my hands for the rest of the day?

_Wrong again, dipshit. _My eyes widened when he leaned his face into mine.

His head leaned to the side to get better access to my mouth. _Umm...?_

I let it happen. I didn't fight it...and it felt...what was the word? Fine. It felt fine. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was okay.

He was a great kisser, don't get me wrong. Excellent, skilled, passionate. I just wasn't as enthused. I only pretended to be...for Jacob.

I had agreed, hadn't I? I needed to distract myself. Jacob was here. The two fit together.

So I kissed him back, reaching my hand to his face. He cupped my cheek, taking my bottom lip between his, just as I had done with Edward—Mr. Fucking Cullen.

But I shouldn't be thinking about Edward right now. I should be thinking about Jacob.

His rough, warm hands stroked my damp face, brushing a way-ward strand of hair from my eyes and reaching his other hand behind my neck, deepening the kiss. He pulled away, we were breathing pretty hard. He chuckled then leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Not bad, huh?" I smiled half-heartedly but tried to brighten it as he looked at my face. "Hey, do you want to go out and do something tonight?" I asked eagerly, needing to desperately drain those dreaded memories from today. He frowned, thinking and biting his lip.

"I can't tonight, but...on Friday? We can get fucked up down at La Push." I nodded vigorously.

"Definitely!" I breathed. He grinned mischievously before standing up and practically fucking bouncing down to the field. He jogged back over the grass, kicking up tufts of it and clumps of dirt with his boots. I spent the rest of the school day watching him train with his mates.

Tyler Crowley, Mike Newton (shudder), Eric Yorkie, even Ben Cheney...they were all on the football team, however, only some of them were the stereotypical jocks. The school needed all the players they could get for the home game next week. I had seen the boys from La Push, they were big fuckers.

Jacob probably knew this, too, he did live there, on the reservation with the behemoth Quileute boys.

He _was_ one of them.

But as I watched my boyfriend of fifteen minutes run up and down the length of the field, grinning up at me every now and again, my mind mulled miserably over that fucking Drama room and the kiss I shared with Jacob that should have been between me and Edward.

**I know that if you like this story and you have access to a gun, you would be weidling it about calling my name and telling me to come out of my hiding spot, BUT DON'T FEAR! **

**It is, quite obvious, that they will...eventually. I can't divulge, when or where. But please have patience! I know that was pretty bitchy thing to do to you guys, seeing as how almost everyone begged for him to kiss her back.**

**But remember! He can't just do that, I mean, think logically for a moment. He needs to at least try to resist.**

***cough* I mean, what? *cough* I didn't say resist, did I? ;)**

**Will update soon!**

**REVIEWS ARE BETTER THAN GAY LITTLE STAR JUMPS AND GRIDIRON TIGHTS!**


	7. Dignity

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

After that fateful day of shifting drum sets with Mr. Cullen—I am not calling him by his first name—I had thought that he would be on the war-path.

He wasn't. He was however, somewhat worse.

If he showed any sign of emotion that would have been a blessing.

But he remained frustratingly indifferent as if _nothing_ had happened.

Which, according to either of us, it hadn't. So, he stayed stubbornly quiet throughout the rest of the lunch detentions that week. He mumbled tired 'yes's or 'no's, he would order me to go do some photocopying for him, probably just to get me out of the room so he wouldn't have to look at me.

I knew how annoying the sight of my face could get, I mean, hey, I'm the one who had to look at it every day in my own reflection. Where was the justice in that?

He refused to talk directly to me in class, and during detention, we sat in the middle of the staff room so as to not be stuck alone with me.

What? Did he think I was going to try to indecently assault him?

I pondered this. Maybe I shouldn't be left alone with him. But that distracts from the point, he _loathed_ me. He may not verbally acknowledge this fact, but I could see the seething beneath his eyes whenever they accidentally locked on mine.

I could see the hate, and I knew it was just, but I still couldn't fathom a fibre of hate for him in return. I also wished he could still change his mind, perhaps I was going crazy. It was Friday. Again. It was last session, again. And I had English.

Cue the groan. It was like being dowsed with icy water whenever his eyes landed on me. I tried to avoid looking up the front at all anymore, period. He would just glare or narrow his eyes, shaking his head then start talking again in a tighter voice.

I wanted to bang my head against the fucking table, causing a brain haemorrhage.

What a tasteful ending. My morbid day dreaming was interrupted, yet again by someone snapping out my name frustration clear in his tone.

"Bella Swan, outside. Now!" he raised his voice.

I had given up paying attention in class—any classes for that entire week. I was investing all my brain power into forgetting that moment in the Drama room. Either that or let it kill me.

I stood up woodenly, setting my jaw, letting my chair scrape roughly against the floor.

I huffed, leaving my books strewn over the desk and stalking out the door that he held open.

I tried not to let my breathing hitch when I brushed past him out the door.

Keeping with the stubborn, angst, teenage facade, I marched straight through the hallway, pacing. When he turned to face me, closing the door, I broke. My tear ducts reacted like the selfish bitches they were, tears welled in my eyes.

I sucked in a breath, biting my lip to hold in the sobs that were threatening to engulf my form. I turned my head and searched for a retreat. THE JANITOR'S CLOSET. Childish, cliche' and fucking perfect. I broke into a sprint, wrenching the door open and stumbling inside.

I heard his footsteps behind me, running to keep up, I'm just surprised I made it the whole sixteen feet without stacking it against the linoleum. My ragged, hitched breathing was the only sound in the muffled room.

He came into view and I turned around, facing the back shelfing that homed domestic chemicals—used mostly to clean the bathrooms or to mop up puke...it happened occasionally. When people were too light stomached to endure blood testing in Biology.

I held my hand to my mouth, trying to smother the heart-wrenching wails. I was falling apart, over some stupid fucking thing. Over a man—over a _teacher! _The fact that I was so pathetic only made me want to cry even more. "Bella," he sighed, his hand touching my shoulder.

I flinched away, almost falling into the mop and bucket at my feet. He dropped his hand. "What's wrong?" he asked, his voice veiled with a calm air. I wanted to punch his pretty face. Why did he have to be so comforting when I was trying to hate him? When I was trying to get on with my life and date Jacob?

Yes, Jacob. My once plutonic friend had turned into my very affectionate boyfriend all in a matter of minutes earlier this week.

I had spent almost every waking minute with that boy; he was aiding my mission to get over this silly one-sided infatuation.

I had spent yesterday afternoon over his house. The memory filled my mind for a moment as I stared into his strained green eyes.

_I sat down on the couch, Jacob sat down next to me, pulling me to his chest. I obliged, letting him hug me close. I snuggled with him for a while, feeling warm and safe in his capable company. His hand smoothed my long brown hair down my back, twirling it around his fingers occasionally. We were watching some sport—lame. _

_His hand moved to my face, pulling it up to his and staring into my eyes. He gazed into me for a moment, he stared so deeply that I was afraid he would see right through me. I didn't want to hurt Jacob because of my selfishness. But, when you get hurt, you need someone. People like to pretend they're strong. _

_But it often results in standing on the edge of a bridge. I smiled warmly up at him. _

_This was how I was going to be, I was going to be with Jacob. I was alright with this future. _

_Well, marginally. I knew the alternate path—but, that was one that was impossible to follow. _

_With Jacob, it was a straight, flat concrete sidewalk. With Edward, I mean, fucking, Mr. Cullen, it would be a treacherous mountain hike with sharp rocks and pot holes. He cupped my cheek, stroking my cheek with his thumb like he did that first day at school. I sighed as he closed his eyes and found my lips with his. _

_I waited numbly as he kissed down my neck. _

_I__ ran my hands through his hair, feeling sufficiently guilty for wanting the bronze tousled array that haunted my dreams. We were making out for a fair while on my couch, he lay on top of me, keeping most of his weight hovering above me. This was travelling into uncomfortable territory. His big hand slid up my side, over my ribs then down again, his fingers curling under my shirt and grazing softly against my skin._

_ I went rigid, our kissing stopped. _

_He sighed, dropping his face into the crook of my neck. _

_"I'm sorry, Bella. If it makes you uncomfortable..." he trailed off, shrugging. I considered it for a moment. Maybe it didn't feel right...but...may as well get as much damage in as I could. _

_I was a masochist. I needed the pain, something different, I needed someone else's touch to erase _his.

And then it was _his_ voice that woke me up from my trance.

"Bella, for goodness sake." He breathed, exasperated.

I dropped my hands from my face, clenching them into fists at my sides.

I tried to keep the bravado but failed as the tears streamed relentlessly down my face. "For goodness sake, what? What do you want from me?" I hissed at him, angry that I was showing weakness and in front of him of all people.

He frowned, his green eyes brooding silently. He sighed loudly, running a hand through his hair.

I noticed he did that a lot when he was stressed. This was a very stressful situation for us both.

"I don't want anything from you, Bella." He said, accentuating what he was saying with his hands.

I crossed my arms across my chest. "Then why are we in here?" I challenged. "You ran in here!"

I scoffed.

"Whatever." I muttered, rolling my eyes. "I didn't ask you to follow me." I waited for a snappy remark, something condescending to say to me.

He didn't say anything, he stayed dead silent. "So, why did you?" I hedged, pressing his buttons. I knew how to piss him off; question his motives. I uncrossed my arms, stepping closer to his rigid body. We stood inches apart.

"Why are you so angry with me?" I questioned.

"I mean, I know I crossed a line, but...I only expected you to be shocked and...a little disgusted. But _you!_" I said in an accusing tone.

"_You flat out fucking hate me!"_ I whisper-screeched.

"Am I _that_ repulsive?" I asked in a whisper, not expecting an answer.

He didn't give one. I hung my head and breathed in shakily, wiping more tears away.

"Then leave me alone to wallow." I demanded. I tried stepping around him, keeping my arms close to my body, not wanting to touch him but also dying to.

"Bella," he snapped out of his rigidness to harshly grab my arm before I made my escape. "What?" I asked with barely and volume. "I...I—you, you don't..." he took a deep breath, gently prying his fingers off my wrist. The tension crackled in the air...

His breath brushed my face and being in such a small space with him was really testing my control.

I could feel my fingers twitching toward him, begging to let them touch him. To run them over his chest...through his hair...

He turned his face to me, locking me in his hypnotic gaze. I felt my heart tug in his direction. The connection we had could not be imagined. I couldn't have hallucinated this. It felt stronger and more real even after an entire week of aloofness from both of us.

"I'm sorry I kissed you," I said stiffly. His eyes closed tightly before opening and blinking rapidly, he sighed.

"Listen to me," he said.

"I apologise sincerely if I gave you the wrong idea...I—Bella, this," he motioned between the two of us.

"This would not only be wrong it would be illegal." He stated bluntly.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but I don't harbour any romantic feelings towards you, do you understand?" I glared at the ceiling before looking back down at him. "Yes," I snapped. "I understand completely." My voice broke.

I pushed the door open.

"You. Are. Anything. But. Repulsive."

Thats what I thought I heard him whisper to himself as the door shut between us. But of course, my creative, eccentric imagination got the better of me.

It was only feeding me what I wanted to hear. I wanted so desperately to hear him say those kind of things to me.

If I had made any progress this week, it was completely fucking annihilated in those mere minutes spent with Edward in the janitor closet. Let's get a grip on reality, shall we? People got hurt all the time, they didn't fall apart like this.

You were only supposed to experience this type of pain when someone you love dies. Nobody had died, everyone was very much alive. So why did it feel that way? The tightening in my chest, my blurred vision, the dry lump in my throat, the throbbing in my brain?

Why was it all there? In that simple sentence, my universe had been obliterated, just from a few uttered words. Once they reached my ears...I felt my eyes sting, the fiery ache of desire burning ever hotter. Was it whenever he rejected me, I found him impossibly more attractive?

I guess it was true what they say, you always want what you can't have. That was true in some instances, like for me.

But Jacob had me and he still presumably wanted me. But as I pondered this—taking a detour to the girls bathroom instead of the English room—Jacob didn't really _have_ me. Not really. Not the way he thought he did. I ran away with my heart in tatters, locking myself in the same cubical. I could see a routine sprouting.

The hurt and angst over this situation was raking over my nerves.

I needed to take the edge off and I knew exactly how to do so.

~~~___~~~

It was lucky how it all planned out, really. Jacob had offered for me to go with him to La Push tonight and get drunk with his buddies.

I had never gotten drunk before. I didn't know what it felt like, only other people's perspectives of what it was like.

Even then, I think they exaggerated a little, just to seem cool, which was beyond me. I didn't understand that crap.

Jacob drove over to my house late afternoon. I had skipped the rest of that lesson, not wanting anymore to do with him now that I was sure of his feelings. He took in my mood and decided not to act all lovey-dovey. I kind of felt bad, but I was too pissed in that moment to really care. I hoped I could drown the sorrow away somehow tonight.

I hopped into Jake's Volkswagen rabbit as it idled on the kerb. I waved goodbye to Charlie as he stood, arms folded at the front porch.

He nodded gruffly, acting aloof toward my new boyfriend. He didn't know my other preferences—luckily.

He was getting it easy. We took off down the highway, passing his house on the way to get some blankets so we could sit at the top of the cliffs. He also produced a lighter for the bonfire from his pocket. It was stylish, the metal engraved with the picture of a naked lady.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing, he seemed embarrassed about it. That just made me giggle.

He would have been more defensive, but when he realised it was pulling me out of my depressing funk, he laughed along with me. The sun was setting and it was mostly dark when we reached the cliffs.

The second I stepped out of the car, the Quileute boys surrounded me like I was a steak and they were hungry little bears.

I felt uneasy around them all but they were incredibly friendly and silly. They joked and teased Jacob about having his first girlfriend.

He blushed and I found it cute. I smiled. I was glad that I was still capable of happiness, no matter how shallow this happiness was.

He walked around the car, draping a thick woollen blanket over my shoulders before sitting me down on one of the logs around the un-lit pile of branches. Jacob introduced me to his friends, Embry and Quil.

Embry offered me a drink, I took it without hesitation, not even knowing what the fuck it was but sculling it down like it was the source of life. Jacob quirked an eyebrow, laughing. I shrugged. He shrugged too and handed me drink after drink.

A haze was slowly layering over my brain...my senses becoming less sharp. I sighed sleepily and leaned my head against Jacob's knee.

He sat on the log and I found myself sitting at his feet on the ground.

He tried to get me to sit up beside him but I was stubborn and couldn't be bothered getting up. I had no idea what I was drinking and had eventually lost track of how many I had actually practically inhaled.

I held up a shot glass full of what was most likely rum or whiskey or something. The other's raised theirs. "To the game next week, shall we kick Jacob's little bitch ass!" Embry cheered. I raised my glass.

"Woo!" I crowed, not even caring that I should be defending Jacob.

"I'm sorry, what was that, Embry?" Jacob asked mockingly. "I, I can't hear you, your vagina is so big, it just muffles all your words." He said, grinning cockily.

I laughed out loud before tipping the glass up, swallowing the bitter brown liquid. I screwed up my face, coughing a bit as the strength of the drink took my breath away.

I knew I would someday regret acting this way.

I knew that when you were grieving—I called it grieving because thats what it felt like—you shouldn't be trying to solve your problems by numbing them temporarily and dealing with them later. You needed to stand up to them, face them head on and with your dignity.

As for me, well, I guess it was too late for that.

**Oh, have you noticed the growing tension? It's...delicious! Beleive me, it will get even worse for her, too. ;)**

**MWAHAHA *evil witch cackles***

**Reviews are better than vagina jokes!**


	8. The girl in the mirror

**You have all been extremely patient with me! And now...*cue drum roll*...you will have to wait another chapter to find out!**

**I know, I'm a bitch.**

**Cheers.**

I rested my head on the cold surface of the dining table, my head throbbed like it had been beaten with a cinder block.

God Damnit, what the fuck did I do to myself?

I remembered little snippets of last night. I remember Jacob's lighter, giggling at it...Jacob's friends, Embry and...? Ugh. I had totally been fucked up to the maximum. I was surprised I could still walk, heck, I was shocked I still had any stomach lining left after that god awful liquor I kept drinking.

It was strong enough to burn through a ship's hull. The searing pain pierced through my skull, becoming more acute as Charlie banged around the kitchen—utterly oblivious to my condition. That was the way it was, and that was the way I wanted to keep it.

A well informed Charlie was not a happy Charlie. I would rather keep my downward depression spiral a secret from him. Maybe I was being melodramatic. I took comfort from Jacob, he was a good friend, a good boyfriend, an excellent person.

But then...there was still that nagging feeling in the back of my head.

The voice whispering the taunts to me day in and day out. _He's not the one you want to kiss. His hands aren't the ones you want touching you. He isn't the one you're in love with_. Yes. Jacob wasn't the man I was in love with. Sigh. I was in love with Edward Cullen.

The fight we had, the reinforcement of the information I already knew—that he didn't feel anything for me whatsoever—did nothing to hinder those feelings.

Resentment reared it's ugly head. I resented Edward for being the way he was. Even though he couldn't help it, I needed someone to blame and I was tired of it being me. So instead of stewing in my own fucked up emotions, I decided to outwardly blame him for causing this to happen.

It was stupid and stubborn but seeing as how I was going to relinquish verbal contact unless really necessary, he would never find out about it so all would remain well...for him, at least. But I was hurting inside. Day by day, it only got worse. So, to numb it like the chicken shit I am, I drank with Jacob—who for some reason had an endless supply of alcohol.

We would sometimes go to his house and play poker—he insisted on strip poker but I told him I wasn't ready for anything like that, we'd only been going out for like, a week!

I noticed how I was spending all my time with him, though.

I had become detached from Angela, and I know she was worried about me and my new reckless behaviour.

But she didn't confront me about it, so she wasn't panicked that I was suicidal or into hard drugs. I also spent most of my time in La Push, away from home and away from my other friends—always with Jacob. Anyone would think we were a married couple. That was the impression we gave most people.

It didn't bother Jacob in the least, but it bothered me. I wouldn't let him see it, though. I was already a horrible person for being with him when I harboured something intense for someone else. But what was I to do? The answer was nothing. I couldn't do jack shit and it made me angry and even more depressed.

Because what I felt for Edward was something I feared I would never feel. And, the moment I finally did, it was with someone who couldn't feel it back.

This was just salt in the wounds. I was one gaping hole, a space of nothing, feeling nothing.

Monday came around and the weekend was spent getting drunk again and again. I was killing a _lot_ of brain cells.

The drive to school was horrendous, the roads slick with a sheen of ice.

I inched into a parking spot, not realising the car sitting right next to it—all new and imposing, even against my abominable truck.

I glared at the silver Volvo as I slipped out and onto the icy black ground.

Despite my glaring, my heart constricted at the sight of it and I took a deep breath. I scanned the parking lot for Jacob, sparing myself anymore pain. I couldn't find him by his car, so he must be at training or something.

Hmm... I pulled my bag up my shoulder and walked by myself. People crowded the halls, nudging arms and elbows because there was no space. I found a gap and it was right in front of my locker—wow, my day was picking up.

I practically threw my bag in, grabbing my books and stacking them in order of what I had that day.

When I felt a hand slap across my ass, I wrongly assumed it would be Jacob.

The hand lingered there and I turned to face my presumed perpetrator. My face fell a mile when I saw it was motherfucking Newton. I took a step back, glaring. He leered, lowering his eyes and raking them up and down my body. "What do you want?" I snapped. He grinned, eyes roaming once more.

"My eye are on my face, loser." I sighed, shaking my head and trying to make a run for it. I stepped around him, he took a step to the side, blocking my way.

"Move it," I seethed, not looking at his face. He chuckled—the sound was gravelly and forced.

"Awh, come on, baby..." I shuddered. "I have a boyfriend." I threatened.

"Oh, that's fine. He doesn't have to find out..." he shook his head grinning.

The halls were practically empty now, there weren't enough people about to hear what was going on.

"Mike," I snarled the word. "Leave me the fuck alone." He took a big stride forward so I had to lean back against my locker.

He placed a hand beside my head, the other moved to my face, roughly grabbing my chin. "Get off me." I growled. He smirked, leaning closer. I batted my hands against his chest.

"Go away!" I shrieked. A dark, shadowy figure rose up behind him and I could laugh at the scared look on Mike's face.

_Jacob, finally!_ My mind rejoiced. I let out a relieved breath. I didn't want to bring out the big guns—assault on my part from kicking Newton in the balls and crushing his nose with my palm. A big hand with long, pale fingers slapped down on his shoulder. I jumped and then noticed the hand belonged to someone else.

"May I remind you that lingering in the hallways during class time is against school policy?" he asked Mike in an eerily calm, velvety tone. His flat, normal sentence said in that voice just made it all the more menacing. I shivered. He pulled Mike away from me, Mike's hand dropping from my face.

And then, whenever I saw him, like I saw him now...my heart beat stuttered and went into overdrive, wreaking havoc in my chest.

I felt the warm blush of colour spread to my cheeks. But neither of them were looking at me. Mike was staring at the floor, Mr. Cullen was glaring at him, his hand still on his shoulder. It was so intimidating, Mike must have been shitting himself...he did after all only come up to Edward's shoulder.

I took the time to stare at what he was wearing—forgetting that I was supposed to be angry with him, but that didn't matter—his dark blue jeans looked new and crisp, while his button down grey shirt contrasted with his ivory skin.

His bronze hair was still in that perfect, messy array.

His eyes shone and flashed with an unrecognisable emotion.

I suppose it was annoyance...or along those lines.

"Don't let me catch you harassing Miss. Swan again, got it?" he growled. I watched the whole scene play before me with awe. At least he didn't hate me enough to be assaulted by the school tool. That fact was pathetic but it still warmed my heart out of it's frosty shell it had been in over the weekend.

They both looked at me then...I hadn't realised I had tears running down my face until I felt the need to sniffle.

I quickly ran a hand under each eye while Edward glared and Mike rolled his eyes.

"Bella, you should get to class." He said softly, turning his face back to Mike.

He had let go of him now but his glowering was enough to keep him at bay.

I nodded, wiping at my eyes once more and heading off to Trig.

I glanced back over my shoulder at the two men, well, one man, the other, a boy. And our eyes met for a split second.

I tried not to hyperventilate too much.

~~~___~~~

At lunch, I saw Mike glaring at me from the other table. I steeled myself and turned away. He was not worth it. But how much I yearned to crush his nads in a vice was another story.

I sighed, playing with my food rather than eating it. Angela raised an eyebrow as I picked my sandwich apart.

I didn't feel hungry, oddly, I usually did. Today I felt...too hyper to eat, I suppose. Well, as hyper as I could get, anyway.

I glanced at Jacob's empty seat and sighed again. I ran into him outside the cafeteria, near the grandstands over the football field.

He had an all-day training session in preparation for the big game on Saturday night. It was a stupid idea, I thought, while I pulled the crusts off my bread. Why did they decide to have an all-day training day, today? On a Monday? Why didn't they decide to have it the day before the game?

Apparently it was because if they did that, they would be too tired to perform top notch at the actual game, Jacob had told me.

Whatever. Without my vice...I let my mind wander off on filthy tangents. However, it came to be difficult to imagine him naked...Edward, that is.

I mean, I've seen men naked...but, nobody like them would compare to Edward. Besides, it was usually in text books for human anatomy or on T.V, some raunchy sitcom—where they never usually showed a full front view. I was at a loss. But I could imagine being close to him...running my hands over his chest and smelling him.

I could imagine the feel of his chest pressed against my body, his lean, muscular arms wrapping tightly around my waist. I could imagine it...but never experience it.

That thought always left me in a moping mood. My poor friends, I thought. I may have seemed normal to begin with, but now, jeesh, I would be such a pain in the ass to be around. I decided to speak to Angela, after having rudely ignored her. "Hey, Ang?" She perked up, turning her body in my direction.

She grinned. "Hey, Bella," I smiled in return, she was easy to please and she didn't hate me, that put a damper on my moping.

"What did you get up to over the weekend?" I asked conversationally, finally taking a bite of my sandwich. She grinned impossibly wider.

"Well," and then she went onto an account of the zombie movie she and Ben saw. I cringed and laughed at the appropriate intervals. I was happy that Angela put up with me.

I loved her already even after such a short time here. She was like the sister I never had, the less bitchy version of a sister.

The one that didn't steal your things. "What did you and Jake do?" she asked, popping a grape into her mouth.

"Umm..." I hesitated, biting my lip. I wasn't going to tell her what I really did. She would disapprove and I didn't want to displease Angela with my stupidity.

"We just...hung out in La Push with some of his friends. Had a bonfire," I shrugged. "It was fun." She nodded.

"That _sounds_ fun. But aren't we like arch enemies with the Quileute high school, cause of the game?" I laughed.

"Relax, Ang. They're really nice. They're _big_, but they're nice." I smiled. "Besides, they only get competitive when they're out on the field. The macho thing they have going with the little brawls they have," I shook my head, amused.

"It's all for show. I mean, what would have people more entertained?" I reasoned. "People getting along and shaking hands or blowing kisses? Or a nasty scuffle between the two teams?" I raised an eyebrow. "Huh. I guess you're right." "And," I added.

"They practically grew up with Jacob on the reservation, they're like brothers. They love each other if anything."

She laughed at that. "That's so cute!" she said.

I nodded. Lunch breezed by after that, quite easily after talking with Angela the whole time. I learned a lot more about her.

She had twin little brothers, her mum and dad worked for the bank and her and Ben had been dating for a year. My eyes popped open at that. They still looked like a new couple—not with the awkwardness, but the way they stared at each other with wonder and delight and...love.

There was no other word. I gulped down the lump in my throat, holding back the dreary tears from falling again.

I _hated_ crying in public. Luckily, Ben interrupted our conversation with a comment about homework and that engulfed Ang's attention.

I took the advantage, quickly muttering an excuse and darting off to the bathrooms. I sucked in ragged breaths, my heart thumping painfully against my rib cage.

I locked myself in the cubicle. The one furthest away from the door, the one at the end, the one I routinely used for emotional breakdowns. Gathering myself up and collecting my thoughts, I stepped out again, scowling at my reflection in the mirror over the sinks. I splashed some fresh water over my face and neck.

I looked back up to the girl in the mirror.

And with grim certainty, I told her, "We are so fucked up."

**:D PLEASE, R&R! I love all your previous reviews, story alerts, favourite story, favourite author, etc etc.**

**You guys make my day! Brings a fuckin tear to my eye :')**

**Reviews are better than raunchy sitcoms! ;)**


	9. Lion and the Lamb

***giggles* You guys send me awesome reviews, all begging for them to FUCK already and for Mike to be killed. Don't worry, I'll put a hit out on him! **

**I was so excited to put this chapter up, too! Hope you guys like it, it's my favourite so far!**

Thinking about love and the future drained me.

After that little episode with Mike and Edward that morning, I needed to tell Jacob.

I wanted him to hug me and comfort me and bad mouth Newton because he was such a douche for laying a hand on his girl. It felt nice to be wanted and cared for. If someone showed protectiveness for me, it always made me weak at the knees.

I had that reaction when Edward interrupted Mike's tirade in the hall.

But knew it was only because he held that duty as a teacher.

It was nothing to do with me, or him, or him and me. The sooner I accepted this, the sooner I could get over it. After last period, instead of walking to my truck, I made my way down to the field and sat at the very bottom seat on the grand stand. I looked out over the team, blurs of blue and yellow and white uniforms.

I bit my lip, searching through them to find Jake. I found him at the far end, the ball in his hand.

He didn't see me yet, so I didn't call attention to myself. I just sat and watched the testosterone fuelled match continue.

It was cold and windy out here. I wrapped my jacket closer around my body, fetching my woollen gloves out of my backpack and shoving them on, breathing into my cupped hands to warm them up. Coach Clapp blew the whistle then—time out, or whatever the fuck they called it.

Jacob came running towards me, he got tackled by his friends when he was halfway.

I chuckled, they piled on top of him, flailing their arms about and yelling his name.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, making my own way to him.

They finally let up, helping him to his feet while he kept a goofy grin on his face. I snorted. "Have fun?" I raised my eyebrows, crossing my arms across my chest. He grinned and leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. "How was your day?" he asked cheerfully, tucking his helmet under his arm.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, searching the field for the douche bag that made it hell. He was occupied with the rest of his friends, chatting animatedly like gossiping old women. I let my eyes fall back on Jacob's expectant face. "That's what I wanted to talk about," I said.

"Fucking Mike Newton." I grumbled. He chuckled. "What about him?" he asked easily.

He wouldn't be speaking easily about it soon. "He was being such a sleazy asshole to me this morning." I muttered, crossing my arms tighter and glaring in his general direction. Jacob raised an eyebrow and glance over his shoulder. He didn't say anything so I continued.

"He practically pinned me up against the fucking locker!" Jacob frowned and let his eyes fall to his feet. He sighed and looked at me, his face didn't have the anxious concern I was expecting, nor the fiery outrage. It was just...doubtful? What did that mean?

"Bella," he began, rubbing the back of his head. "Are you sure thats what happened?" My mouth fell open.

"I'm sure as fuck, why don't you believe me?" I asked incredulously. He shrugged, dropping his hand to his side.

"You might just be exaggerating...I mean, maybe you led him on. He probably didn't know we're going out." I could not fucking believe my ears.

"Are you actually defending Mike Newton?" I demanded, my hands falling to my sides in tight little fists.

"He's a friend of mine," he replied, looking at me like this was an obvious fact like how the sky was blue.

My brow furrowed, I scoffed. "Since _when?!_ Last time I heard, you _hated _him!" I hissed.

"And now you're taking his side over mine?" He shook his head, growing frustrated. "No, that's not what I mean, Bells," he defended. I grit my teeth and looked away, I could feel the familiar angry flush colour my face and neck. I breathed deeply, trying to control it.

"I did not exaggerate." I said calmly, evenly.

"He told me before that you were flirting with him," he shook his head.

"You've been acting so weird lately, I don't know who to believe." He muttered, shaking his head some more. I let out a dark, humourless laugh. "Well, thanks for your confidence, Jake." I spat, injecting as much acid into the sentence as I could. He flinched and I hoped that meant it worked. How could he say that I exaggerated?

He wasn't even there. _He even said that I led him on!_ I felt sick. I had trusted Jacob and he stabbed me in the back.

I felt like marching straight up to him and clocking my fist into his eye socket. I was just so _angry!_

Maybe I had overreacted while we fought, but he's supposed to be supportive, for Christ's sake!

I don't know what the hell made him change his mind about Newton, but I was so pissed at him, that I couldn't care who he associated with. I blasted the stereo with violent music as I drove home, letting it drain my mind of those wretched thoughts.

Then, like the weak thing I was, I let the tears of hurt and betrayal slide down my face.

~~~___~~~

I ignored his calls all week. I ignored him altogether all week. I avoided him in the halls between classes, I didn't sit in the cafeteria, instead, I hung out in the library—trying to cool off. He had left me voice messages throughout his silent treatment. I ignored them, too. He had just completely shattered the trust I had in him.

If he wanted it back, he would have to fight for it.

By English on Friday, I was back to a depressive, moping mood.

I tended to get into these a lot since I moved here. I sighed, fiddling with my pen, scrawling messy notes over my paper. I was slumped in my chair, doing as I was told—technically paying attention, making an attempt not to piss Mr. Cullen off again.

I don't know how far my nerves could stretch this week.

After the raw beating they took from Jacob on Monday, I would probably have a nervous breakdown if he even raised his voice at me. As it was, once the bell had rung, he called out my name after the room had almost emptied.

The last person closed the door behind them, leaving us silent and alone...together.

I took a deep breath, biting my lip. My eyes were stinging, my hands trembling. When _wasn't_ I crying? I slung my bag over my shoulder, holding back more tears at the sight of his eyes locked on mine. I started toward the door. He grabbed the tops of my arms. "Hey," he said, turning me to face him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, letting his hands drop. I wish he hadn't. I could feel the thirst building, the hunger for more.

I had to control it or ruin my life. It _shouldn't_ be a hard choice. I gnashed my teeth together about the whole Jake thing.

I exhaled a loud and gusty breath, gulping. He watched patiently, his brow furrowed. He took a seat on the edge of the desk, like he always does, and watched me. "My boyfriend doesn't believe me about what Mike did on Monday." I said, my voice shaking.

His face turned incredulous, emotions played over his face before they disappeared.

I wish he hadn't done _that_, either. "Well, he doesn't know much, does he?" he said coldly. I shook my head.

"It's not because...it's kind of more," I sighed. "It's the fact that he should be trusting me in what I saw and what I know he did. He would rather take Mike's side over me, when he used to hate Mike. You know?" I rubbed my forehead with my right hand then combed it through my hair. He nodded in a comforting manner.

"See?" I pointed to him. "_That_ is how he should have reacted!" He smiled crookedly, taking my breath away.

I cleared my throat, deciding to get off the subject of boyfriends. "Will you be going to the game tomorrow night?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yep, promised my students." He smirked. "And I just want to see how good they play here compared to my college team." I nodded, considering.

"What about you?" he asked. I stared at the floor, hating that I was blushing again. "I guess," I mumbled. I took another deep breath.

"I need to talk to Jacob, I suppose. Forgive him..." I weighed out my options verbally. I sighed again.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said gruffly, clearing his throat and turning around to grab his things.

I frowned at his abruptness, nodding to myself then storming out. One second he's hot, the next he's cold.

Fucking men.

~~~___~~~

I was mentally preparing, so to speak. I sculled down the shot of vodka—Russian vodka.

That shit was strong. But it was only one, so it only gave me the teeniest buzz, just to take the edge off.

I needed all the help I could get if I was going to talk to Jake. If he was going to be an ass again, I didn't want to talk to him, period. I hoped it wouldn't come to that, though. I dialled his cell and held the phone to my ear, pacing around my kitchen.

"Hello?" he answered, on the third ring. "Jake," I sighed. "It's me, Bella." I told him.

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I just...I shouldn't have doubted you!" he apologised profusely, his words running together. I frowned. Was he drunk?

"Jake, have you been drinking?" I asked apprehensively. He snickered into the phone. "How'd you guess?" I rolled my eyes. "You have the game!" I growled at him. "Are you going to ruin your chances at getting a scholarship?" I demanded. "Relax, Bells. It was only to take the edge off."

Just like me, apparently. I bit my lip. "Fine." I snapped. "But make sure your sober enough to talk to me after the game." I told him.

"Yes, ma'am." He hiccupped. "Meet me under the bleachers at half-time, actually. As soon as possible." I sounded like such the stereotypical, bitchy girlfriend. It kind of made me want to barf. "Sure," he slurred. I hung up, sighing heavily, throwing the glass into the sink and stuffing the entire bottle into my bag.

The parking lot was chock full of cars, half from people who attended Forks High, the other's from the Quileute school.

I steeled myself, breathing deeply and staring at myself in the mirror. "You can do this." I whispered.

"There is nothing to be afraid of." I nodded at my own words, knowing that they were true...mostly.

That was enough pep talk. I jumped out of my truck, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

It was dark and wet outside. The lights were on, leading the walk down to the football field.

I heard people ahead and behind me, talking with their group of friends, excited for the game and betting on who would win. From what I listened to, it seemed everyone were wagering on the Wolves instead of the Spartans. Once I reached the brightly lit field, I could see why.

The team was monstrous. I recognised Embry out of the group in red and black.

He waved excitedly at me and I sheepishly reciprocated. He must not know I wasn't talking to Jacob.

I sat down at the furthest corner at the top of the grandstand, sneaking swigs out of my bottle.

It was unhealthy, it was stupid and it was also ridiculous. But I depended on it to numb me enough for tonight. I hoped I wasn't becoming addicted.

That would be a pickle to explain to Charlie when I needed to go to rehab. I sighed, staring at the bottle. I shook my head. No. I'm not going to do it this way.

I owed it to myself, if I wanted to keep my self-respect, I will get rid of it. I stared at it for a moment longer before throwing it over my shoulder.

I heard the muted thud when it hit the grass below me. I had hoped it would smash—The whistle sounded and my attention turned back to the game. I couldn't find Jake there at all...his trademark black hair and russet skin was nowhere to be seen.

I frowned.

Once it finally made half-time—I was counting the minutes—the ref blew the whistle, indicating a break for everyone.

The Spartans jogged exhaustedly to the bench, drenching themselves in water even though it was freezing cold.

I shook my head, wondering how they could do it. I blinked hard, and stood, making my way down the stairs to find Jake and drag him by his ear to talk to me. My feet met the grass, squishing disgustingly in the mud. I grimaced, biting my tongue. I looked around and decided to walk there alone.

I stood right under the bleachers, toward the back where I would be out of sight, mostly. I paced around nervously.

If Jake didn't come, then it would be clear he had no care for me at all. That would make everything easy, I suppose. I would break it off with him. If he didn't even have the decency to show up—"Bells!" I heard his voice ring cheerfully behind me. I swivelled around, my heart jumping. I placed a hand to my chest and breathed a sigh of relief.

"You scared me," I choked, catching my breath. He smirked and stumbled forward, my bottle of Russian vodka in his hand. I frowned.

I noticed his uniform wasn't muddy and his face wasn't covered in sweat and dirt. "Why weren't you out on the field?" I asked him, getting distracted for the moment. His arms came around me then, picking me straight up so my feet were a foot from the ground.

"Coach said I was too drunk." He mumbled into my ear. I glowered out at nothing over his shoulder.

"Well that's your own fault!" I hissed. "Now let me down!" I ordered. He let me down but kept his arms around me.

"I've missed you," he said sadly. My face softened a bit. I sighed. "I'm sorry, I needed to cool down." I murmured.

"You could have accepted my calls." He sneered. I raised my eyebrows.

"I don't owe you anything, Jacob Black." I scoffed. "You brought this upon yourself."

He frowned, hugging me again, lifting me from the grass, dropping the bottle.

God, he was strong—stronger than me at least. I pushed against his chest, kicking my feet in the air. He didn't let go, just squeezed me tighter in his giant bear hug.

"Come on, Bells." He murmured in my ear again. "Let's just make up." He suggested in a slurred whisper.

I ground my teeth together. "Please?" he begged pathetically. I reached behind my back to try to get his arms off me.

No way was this conversation happening tonight. "You are drunk." I accused. "So are you." He retorted. I frowned, knowing he was only half-right.

"I am sober enough to know you're being an ass!" I raised my voice. I was on my own feet then, he swayed in the air in front of me. "What happened to you, Jake? I thought you were dedicated to this," I motioned to the field. He glanced at his team mates and shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. "You're impossible." He frowned and leaned closer.

"No, you are! Come here," he said, taking my hand. I sighed. His hands moved down my arms to my waist, to my hips, pulling them closer until our bodies were touching.

And, I felt everything that was going on with him—down there.

"Jake, get your hands off me!" I demanded. He would not oblige. Instead pulling me closer, lowering me to the ground forcibly.

I slapped him hard across the face, hoping frantically that it was enough. He cursed. "Fuck you, Bella!" he hissed, cupping a hand to his cheek.

I cringed against his words and the now crushing weight of his body on mine.

His hands went under my shirt, over my bra and groping me harshly.

His mouth came down on mine roughly, biting my lip. I wailed. I tried lifting my pinned legs. They might help in my escape. "Hey! Get the fuck off her!" I heard someone growl furiously.

_Oh, thank the lord in heaven!_ I rejoiced. I gasped as I realised who that voice belonged to.

His hands slapped onto Jake's back, hauling him off of me with utter ease. I took in deep shaky breaths, my whole body trembling. He grasped my hand and helped me to my feet.

He towed me out from under the bleachers, turning to face me in the light.

I looked up at him as his hand dropped mine. It came up to my face, ghosting—not touching—over the cut on my lip.

His eyes tightened, he turned around swiftly, grabbing my hand and towing me along again. My heart thumped erratically from all the adrenaline.

My bones felt weak as we climbed the slight slope up to the school grounds. I slid over the wet grass, only keeping my footing because he was holding me.

_He was holding me!_ Without another word, he pulled me into the staffroom, unlocking it. He had a whole set of keys in his pocket, I guess they gave him one when he came here. He pulled me into the room, slamming the door closed behind us. He sat me down on a chair and turned to rummage through his desk.

I watched, slightly confused... I was in shock mostly, not able to fully grasp everything that had just happened. He roughly grabbed and office chair and swung it around to face me. He sat down with a white plastic box in his hands, opening it with a furious expression.

"What's wrong?" I mumbled, no volume in my voice. He sighed long and heavy.

Instead of answering me, he reached beside me to turn his desk lamp on.

I could see his features better then. His mouth was a hard, grim line, his eyes were tight and narrowed.

He looked...frightening. My pulse picked up and I felt dirty to admit it, but...it just made me want him more. "What's wrong?" he repeated, his voice sharp edged. I flinched. "Fucking hell." He muttered, opening a plastic packet that held an antiseptic cloth.

He dabbed it gently on my lip. "This is unnecessary." I told him in a small voice.

"You don't have to—" "Shut up." He snapped.

I gulped, hurt. He glared at my chin while he worked.

I looked up into his jade eyes. "What did I do?" I whispered.

He dropped his hand, throwing the cloth in the trash can by my chair.

"Fucking, everything." He muttered. I stood up, huffing.

"Fuck you!" I snapped. "I didn't do anything!" He stood up too, towering over me, I lost my intimidation method.

His eyes blazed and I felt like the smallest thing in the world, vulnerable, like a baby lamb trying to daunt a full grown lion.

Stupid fucking lamb.

His fists were clenched at his sides, the first aid box had fallen off his lap and strewn it's contents over the floor between us. We were inches apart, breathing heavily and angrily.

"I can't take this anymore." He whispered. I frowned. "Take what?" I asked, scowling.

"_This,_" he motioned between us. My eyebrows shot up.

"Well, I'm sorry for that." I muttered acidly. "_This is killing me!_" he said.

I just stared, uncomprehending. "You think it's not killing me?" I asked, my voice cracking. I swallowed loudly, not breaking our gaze. "You don't fucking get it!" he hissed, my eyes widened, tears welling.

His hateful words were like wounds in my chest. Each one more harsh than the last. He ran both hands over his face. "What is your _problem?_!" I asked incredulously, my voice a bit louder.

"You!" he barked, pointing at me with his index finger.

"You are my problem! I _hate_ you!" he snarled and I thought I would collapse to the ground. It felt like someone attached dynamite to my heart and blew it to pieces so there was nothing but a hole left. "Why?" I shrieked.

"_For making me love you so much!"_ he yelled helplessly. My breathing stopped, my heart stopped and for a split second I was gone, lost in my own mind, because he couldn't have possibly said that.

As if it had happened so many times before, we both leaned into each other then. The sweet release of our lips touching was enough to send me into oblivion.

He pulled me to him roughly, his fingers digging into the skin at my waist, even through my jacket. I grabbed his hair angrily, combing my fingers through it and tugging. He growled, and with a desperate gasp, our lips parted passionately. Lust, confusion, anger and agony rolled into this kiss.

Heaven and Earth, Life and Death...all irrelevant.

Everything besides _this_ no longer held significance.

**ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? jeesh. LOL. I'm kidding! I've been like, dying for this to happen for a while now! **

**R&R :D**

**Reviews are better than strong as fuck, Russian Vodka shots. :)**


	10. Primal

**Here's a continuation from the last chapter. Relax guys, I am SO not leaving the juicy stuff out, this is what this story is all about. **

**The smut ;) Tell me if I should go further with the...ahem...detail. Or if you want me to leave it to the imagination.**

**Just let me know so I know whether or not I need to change the rating up to M. :) Much loves.**

**-birobird**

I was rabid and rough, clawing my fingers into his back.

He was trying his hardest to be gentle with me, the fierceness of this sudden, desperate kiss was overwhelming.

He needed me as much as I needed him. Through some stroke of fate, or luck...whatever it was that was going on, Edward felt the same way I did.

The both of us, lost and confused, had started fighting in the middle of the staff room after he saved me from my inebriated boyfriend, Jacob. Our hands were so fast and reckless, I was beginning to think my clothes might tear. As it was, I heard fabric rip.

But I couldn't dredge myself back to reality far enough to care about it at all.

He could fucking tear all my clothes up and throw them into a paper shredder for all I had to say about it. His hand came behind my head, his fingers splaying out in my hair, pulling my face closer to his to deepen the kiss. I moaned into his mouth as his tongue plunged into mine.

Raging hormones and fiery lust burned through my body like an incinerator, from my head to my toes. I was too afraid to break the kiss, afraid that if I did, everything would go back to normal and he would detach himself from me, hate me—more than he already did.

His hands roamed down my back, exploring until he reached my hips.

He turned us around in a circle and I didn't realise what he was doing until he did it.

He swiftly, eagerly pulled my legs around his waist, I locked them around his back.

As I did this, he used his right arm to swipe the contents off his desk and onto the floor.

Clattering, paper, files, a stapler...the phone, piled by the trash can. He sat me atop the wood, his hands going back to town in my hair.

This stance made it easier on both of us, I could reach his face better and he didn't have to lean down as far.

Our tongues slid in and out of each other, our lips moving together in unison like they were rehearsed moves—synchronised, perfect. The hotness of his mouth made the desire blaze rapidly, setting my heart on fire. I just hope I would survive the carnage afterward.

My body leaned against his, arching toward him, he growled into my mouth. _More, more, more!_ My mind demanded. The act, it was just so...primal.

Edward's hands left my hair, moving to my shoulders then to my waist, burning through my clothes to my already flushed skin. Finally, our lips broke a part, we tried to return our breathing back to normal. It felt like we needed to finish this, before we both went insane.

That kiss, that outburst of withheld affection was tantamount to the end of this craziness, but the start of something new. And, oh my god, did he taste delicious. I was hungry for more. When we pulled our faces back to look at one another, our eyes were hooded and heavy.

I gazed intensely, waiting for something to say. What could I say? Sorry? I was _definitely _not.

He spoke first anyway. "I've wanted you since the first day I came here." He whispered huskily, his hands grasping at my sides like he was afraid I was a mirage. I opened my mouth to speak, but his mouth landed on mine once more, silencing whatever it was I was going to say.

I forgot about it within seconds. His hand moved to my face, cupping my cheek gently.

His eyes were still closed, my arms were wrapped tightly around his waist now, my fingers knotted into the fabric of his clothes. "I wanted you too, so badly." I whispered, leaning into his chest and inhaling. He let out a shaky breath, shuddering. He shook his head.

He opened his eyes then, staring into mine with all seriousness.

"It took all the strength in my being not to go after Mike Newton," he muttered and I thrilled at his words. I shuddered myself. This was the way I had wanted Jacob to be, to care for me enough to actually be a little pissed when someone wronged me. "I'm an adult, a teacher, I'm a professional." He whispered, leaning his forehead against mine.

"And, then when I saw him, _Jacob Black_, on top of you...I just. It all went out the window, all I saw was someone hurting you..._touching_ you," he paused, taking a deep breath and clenching his teeth. "Something in me just...fucking snapped, and I couldn't even remember I was a teacher and he was a student under my care.

He could have been your fucking husband and I would have done it the same." We were sucking in breaths of air, steadying our lungs so we stopped hyperventilating. Well, I was, anyway. "Right now," he continued. I could listen to his voice all day and not get bored.

It was music, a melody to my ears.

It brightened up my day, it haunted my dreams and starred in my fantasies. "Right now, it is taking all my control not to _have_ you right here on my desk." He murmured. That sentence. 

_Holy fuck_.

I moaned softly, pulling his mouth back to mine with intense zeal. I _wanted him so badly!_ But now was not the time, my rational mind said. I knew I should listen to that part of my brain every now and again, but right now it was just an annoying nag, tugging at me to get my attention. Then, we heard the horn.

The horn that indicated the end of the game. We both pulled away, turning our heads to the door and staring—obviously unable to see through the wood. I sighed. "We have to go," I muttered reluctantly. I couldn't leave this moment, for the fear of never coming back consumed me.

"I know." He muttered, reflecting my tone. We both chuckled. I hooked my fingers into his belt.

His breathing hitched slightly and I smiled devilishly. I removed my hands then slid myself off the desk, my feet landing on the paper he threw across the floor. He bent down to gather them up and messily stack them back where they were.

He also picked up the first aid kit and it's contents, packing it away back into his drawer. I licked my lips and ran a hand over my face, trying to wipe away the trace of smuttiness. Sometimes it was so obvious someone had just been mucking around, they may as well have 'sex' tattooed on their forehead. Edward stood at my side then, opening the door for me and locking it behind him, pocketing the keys again.

He turned to me with a sigh, the moonlight outside lit up his face and made it luminous. The contours of his cheekbones, his chin and nose, were accentuated with the silvery glow of the moon. His face was shadowed on one side which made him look sinister—if I hadn't known better.

"I'm sorry for losing control like that." He apologised, hanging his head and clenching his hands. "I'm not." I murmured. "So you don't have to be." I assured him with a certain smile.

I straightened my clothes then, glancing around. No-one had noticed our hasty entrance or exit just now, we were flying under the radar safely.

Edward blew out a large gusty breath, running a hand through his hair. His eyes shimmered in the limited light—again I was getting distracted by his face. We walked casually down the path towards the cafeteria where the car park extended off. "Oh, shit!" I gasped. Edward jumped. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

"I left my bag on the grand stand, I need to go get it." He nodded and made to follow me.

"You don't need to come with me, you know." I reminded him, however was relieved and delighted he wanted to tag along. He frowned. "And let you be alone in the dark when god knows who is lurking the shadows in the deserted grounds?" he asked.

"I don't think so." He said, grinning crookedly, falling into step beside me, walking as close as he dared—only an inch separating us.

Oh, he was good at torture. My hot breath came out in steam clouds in the ice-cold air.

I could still taste him on my lips, just thinking about what we just did... I shuddered with pleasure. The left over people kept the noise close to subdued, save for the odd hooligan with their shirt over their heads, screaming "We won! Fuck yeah!". I started up the metal stairs to where I had been sitting. A hand shot out and caught my arm.

"I can walk up the stairs on my own—" My face turned, paling the moment I realised who it belonged to.

I jerked away from Mike's hand, his face glistening with a sheen of sweat. His uniform was splattered with mud and grass. I crossed my arms and sneered, "What do you want?" He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Bells, I aint going to bite." He winked. I made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat.

"I'm not so sure, I heard syphilis can _really_ fuck your mind up." He raised an eyebrow, not understanding.

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway, Jake and the rest of the boys are all going up to La Push to get fucked up." He grinned admirably.

"You wanna come join?" he suggested with a hellish smirk. My eyes narrowed. "Not to break up the party or anything, but shouldn't you be leaving?" Edward's voice said from behind me. "Didn't I tell you not to harass Miss Swan?" he said in a flat, cold voice. Mike scowled slightly over my shoulder before turning a blistering grin back to me.

"I wasn't harassing her. I was asking her to come hang out with her _friends_. Got nothing to do with people over thirty." He sneered. Did he really think Edward was over thirty?

Or was he just saying that to exaggerate that he was not a teenager? It was hard to tell, being that Mike was so thick, he'd think anyone over twenty was ancient.

"No thanks." I muttered before Edward could retort something authoritative and fearsome. I turned my back, his hand caught my arm again, pulling back roughly.

My feet slipped on the wet metal steps. "Let go!" I growled. Gravity was not my friend today—it's not like it was any day, either I supposed. I fell backwards, cringing in suspense for my head to connect with something in considerable force. It didn't quite happen that way, however.

Edward caught me from behind, his arm wrapping around my waist, while the other caught my legs.

My head still cracked against the railing, though. And, I screamed. I held my hand to the back of my head.

"Fuck you Newton!" I screeched, trying to get my footing back. Edward lowered me carefully to the steps, I held on for dear life to his forearm—a wave of dizziness washing over me. Mike stood motionless on the step above us, a smirk on his face before a nervous tremble over took it.

I suddenly realised why. "Do _not_ lay your hands on her again!" he roared.

We were alone, so nobody was there to turn their heads and stare in shock at the commotion. "Don't expect to be able to come back here again." He snarled, his eyes blackening with fury. He grabbed Mike by his shirt, thrusting him closer so he could bark in his face.

I watched timidly from where I sat, my hands cradling my head. "Get out, _before_ I do anything rash." He threatened.

I stared, wide-eyed and bewildered. Mike nodded vigorously. "And for the record...I can't be held responsible for what happens to you _outside_ this school." I saw Mike swallow loudly, his Adams apple bobbing. Was it possible that he was sweating more? Edward's hands unclenched from Mike's shirt, shoving him away.

He scampered off like a scared little Chihuahua with his tail between his legs. What perplexed me the most was how fast the Quileute crew had accepted Mike—the complete and utter, white boy, douche bag—into their group. The way he had just become best friends with Jacob...it was fucked up to say the least.

But my head hurt too much to analyse teenage boy behaviour right now. Edward's hands grasped my shoulders, he knelt down in front of me, bringing his eyes to my level. I was staring at nothing before they finally focussed on him.

"If he _ever_ comes near you again, you need to tell me." He stressed, his voice still held a sharp edge to it. "As it stands, if you feel the need...you can get a restraining order...?" I shook my head and frowned.

"No, no my dad doesn't need to hear about this." I said.

"He's got enough to worry about, besides his daughter getting stuck in the middle of petty arguments—not that what you said was petty." I quickly added.

He sighed, stared at me for a moment before he smiled crookedly.

His hand hesitated, hovering in the air before he bit his lip then stretched his fingers out to tuck some hair behind my ear. "You _are_ a teacher, remember. You can't just go threatening people, especially students." I reasoned, worried that he was throwing away his job just because of Mike. He chuckled darkly.

"It doesn't matter," he muttered, standing up. "Besides, I didn't lay a hand on him." He said innocently. I frowned and shook my head—it definitely throbbed. "Um, yes you did, I saw you—" he raised an eyebrow. God, I was an imbecile. "Oh, right," I nodded slowly, catching on.

"Of _course_ you didn't." I winked. He shook his head and helped me to my feet.

I stumbled a little, waving off any more aid from him. I didn't want to look completely disabled while he watched. I was already embarrassed.

I grabbed my bag from the top seat, trotting back down to where he waited.

The lights that surrounded the field were off, we stood alone in the cold darkness.

My shoes squeaked as we made our way across the grass and on to the foot path leading to the parking lot. He helped me into my car, pressing a palm to my forehead and biting his lip. "I'm worried you have a concussion," he said after seeing my weirded-out expression.

I laughed. "Then, I should be the expert, don't you think?" I offered.

He rolled his eyes, dragging his hand down my cheek before letting it fall back to his side. He closed my door, I unwound the window, needing to know one last thing. I wish we had met in other circumstances. I wish that he wasn't a teacher and I wasn't engaging in something not only magnicifcent, but scandalous, controversial and...well, by society's standards, wrong.

I could not classify it as wrong, but anyone else, an outsider, would.

I sighed, brushing my finger tips under his chin, he kissed my hand.

It was surprising how quick we had become accustomed to one another.

It would have been nice to meet under other circumstances, but then again, if we did, could I guarantee that I would have seen him the same way?

Not being sure of that, it was easy to be okay with how things were at the moment, even if it was complicated. I voiced my burning question.

"What does this mean? What happens now?" I knew I had just put at jeopardy, everything, but how else was I going to find out?

His eyes twinkled, his brow furrowing, he pressed his lips together. "I..." he shook his head. My hopes plummeted...he was going to dump me.

Well, break it off, whatever. It was still heart breaking. He must have seen the shift in my expression, his eyes getting wide.

"Bella, I'm not going to leave you," he said quickly, his hand moving to my cheek. I held it there with mine. He sighed.

"I can't. This is beyond me now." He breathed, letting his beautiful scent waft through the air between us. I basked in it.

"What do you mean?" I asked in a small voice. "This is beyond me," he repeated. "I can't leave, it's gone too far for that now. I can't ignore you, it's gone too far for that, too." His eyes dropped to his feet, his thumb still stroked my cheek. "Do you hate me?" I whispered. He looked up, shocked. "You said you did." I reminded him after seeing his surprised frown.

He shook his head. "It's not that I hate _you_, really. Its that I hate not being able to control how I feel." He laughed humourlessly.

"I hate that I fell in love with you, I hate that I wasn't able to stop it, or stop myself from wanting it, either." He explained. I watched his brooding, serious, intense face with wondering eyes. He'd fallen in love with me, as I did with him. My love was not un-requited, but exactly mirrored. My heart recognised it's counter-point—in the least likely person.

"In all reasoning, though? I have no idea what to do. I should be pulling away right now, as should you. But I can't." He breathed, pained.

"I just..._can't._"

***fans self with book*oh don't you just love the growling, phew, makes me want to chain him up. And the sweeping the paper off the office desk? Hehe, had to put it in there. Really enjoyed reading and replying to reviews!**

**R&R**

**Reviews are better than...football games. Definitely. ;)**


	11. Have Mercy

**Okay, so disclaimer: i don't own twilight n shit. **

**Um, if any of my readers are into kinky, sadistic, and I mean like, fucked up shit, go read 'Buried in the Bergonias' by DurtyNelly. Fucking fantastic, even if it is a little raunchy. well not a litttle, more like _really!_ Anywho, thanks for reviewing, i'm updating this story more than demon city which started before this one. Haha, and now this one has had more reviews which is ironic, coz this started off as a play around, just to fill time.**

**Anyways, tell me what you think!**

My mind was left reeling from what had just happened.

Half of me was shocked, surprised, elated—the other was seriously concerned. I was worried about a lot of things, a wide range that would most likely keep me up late tonight, staring at that god damned ceiling. Yet, as I considered this, I realised that it would not have the same feeling.

I would not be feeling emptiness, I would no longer be a shell of who I once was—glaring at the peeling paint like it was my worst enemy, because Edward Cullen didn't feel the same way. Now, I wouldn't be glaring, I would be puzzling—but not over the person I once did.

Of course, he was puzzling, but the situation had altered so completely that I no longer had any reason to feel miserable about him. I was puzzling over the once negligible information that had zoomed straight past my head.

Jacob Black and Mike Newton.

Jacob, my once best friend and now (not that he knew it), my ex-boyfriend had almost brutally attacked me whilst under the influence of alcohol and possibly drugs. I had seen Jacob drunk before, but never did he act violent—never.

And what was most upsetting, was that he would hurt me—of all people, no matter how mad I made him.

I was pissed—definitely. He was a pretty shitty boyfriend, one that was aggressive and petty.

One that could be a drug abuser. I sighed as I stared out the windshield onto the dimly lit road ahead. The moon leached the colour out of the trees and shrubs surrounding the highway—transforming it into an eerie environment, one suitable for a horror movie. I shuddered, making sure my window was rolled all the way up.

I scoffed at myself then.

Who was going to attack a moving truck? And a tank like this? I was getting paranoid. But I guess being paranoid was better than being dead, right?

I must be a little jumpy after what had happened tonight with Jake. Never had someone tried to force me into inappropriate activities.

That made it sound so clinical. But I couldn't call it sexual harassment—that just made me want to be sick. It was giving it a label. And I'm mostly sure that it would feel different to everyone. I shuddered, thinking about it. Then there was the Mike thing. What a douche. I was so grateful for Edward being there tonight.

I would have more than likely ended up in the ER that night—or if Mike was the asshole I assumed him to be—I would have stayed passed out on the bleachers that night.

Nice.

What a thing to explain to Charlie in the morning after not coming home.

Even after then, I guess I would have ended up in the ER, had the janitor or maintenance people found me the next morning or could have completely cracked my skull open and died in a mess of blood over the school football field.

I shuddered.

Without even thinking about it, I ended up outside my house, staring at the tree out front—lost in thought. I had driven from here to school and back so many times over the last three to four months that it was a natural process—one that required no thinking.

My mind was going off on random tangents, pondering all of what had gone down prior to now. I couldn't shed any light on the Quileute situation—I wasn't really one for insightful thinking. I didn't have that much insider information—and what I did have, I couldn't really construe either way, it sounded useless to my ears.

So, there was nothing I could piece together. There was nothing else to think about now...other than... I bit my lip, blushing to myself. I giggled quietly and bashfully—although no-one was there—and stepped carefully out of my truck and onto the driveway.

I crept up the porch steps—not wanting to wake Charlie if he had gone to bed already.

He hadn't. He had been waiting for me. It was passed eleven right now.

He hadn't been waiting that long, though. He only would have gotten home at nine.

But he was dozing off on the sofa—a game on the T.V. I shook my head at him, placing my keys on the hook and my jacket on the coat rack by the door. I chewed my lip then winced at the tenderness. I snuck upstairs, Dad stirred on the couch but quickly went back to snoring.

I breathed out a sigh of relief then went to study my profile in the bathroom mirror. I groaned silently. My lip was red and slightly swollen. How had Edward managed to ignore this while he was kissing me? It wasn't too bad though. Which was good, I didn't want to have to cover up a black eye or broken nose.

That might be difficult—considering I didn't own make up. My face was a little flushed and my hair had grass in it.

I turned my boy slightly to pick up a wash cloth for my face when I noticed the slight tear in my shirt.

I gasped—so I hadn't been imagining that noise. Staring at it only made me blush more.

He was so lost in the moment that he ripped my shirt—almost all the way up the side. I giggled to myself and threw the wash cloth down—deciding it was better to have a shower. It probably would have been normal for me to hole up in my room and cry about tonight—about the attack.

But Edward confessing his lust, desire, his love—it was like an antidote to the depression.

I stewed—happily, for once—while I worked. Washing my hair and brushing my teeth before scampering to my bedroom and getting changed into my pyjamas. My hyper activeness was wearing down—leaving room for drowsiness. I rubbed my eyes tiredly as I plopped down onto the bed, flipping the light off as I went.

I collapsed onto my pillow, breathing in the homey smell and indulging in my once forbidden fantasies about Edward Cullen—brilliant, godly, beautiful, my teacher.

~~~___~~~

My alarm didn't wake me up Monday morning.

Instead, I woke up by myself—in large part due to the nightmare I had.

And yes, it involved Jacob, and bleachers, and Mike. The worst part? Edward never came.

That's what had me biting my pillow to keep from screaming. I shuddered as I sat at the dining table, shaking my head to clear it of those thoughts. I noticed that Charlie wasn't asleep on the sofa—he had retreated during some time in the night to go back to bed. He was still asleep now, as I ate.

He had a later shift today, also. I felt guilty almost—for leaving Charlie in the dark about most of what goes on in my life. I mean, I hardly see him around the house.

I planned then to make a better effort. It was strange—the high that Edward put me on through those kisses—it made me want to be a better person, a better daughter.

Maybe it was a subconscious motivation.

By performing altruistic—well, mostly—deeds in hopes of being rewarded with more kisses.

Possibly, but then again, I wasn't a psychologist.

This was just contemplation over _my_ crazy mind in particular. I drove to school, leaving far earlier than usual, getting a better park because of it. I smiled triumphantly, shifting it into park before pulling the key out methodically. I sat in the car for a bit, tying my hair up in a messy ponytail—wondering what I should do next.

Should I go in and see if he's here yet? I peered out my window, searching for his car.

Bingo! In the far corner, closest to the entrance was that wonderful, silvery Volvo—brought to Earth by the gods.

I smiled happily, stepping out of the warm truck cab and starting towards the school. There was no-one else here—I was _really_ early. It was deserted, like a creepy old house that no-one went near. I wrapped my arms around myself, the morning air was nippy, whipping my hair around my face and pinching my cheeks into a pink shade. I strolled casually—nonchalantly—over to the staff room which could be entered from the outside or from the corridor inside the school. I went for the outside entrance, seeing as the doors were still locked the other way. I knocked on the generically green painted wooden door.

I heard shuffling, footfalls and paper rustling.

The door opened outward, I quickly jumped back, my face lighting up in reaction to seeing those eyes.

"Hey," I said lamely. He grinned. "Hello, Bella." I gawked at him. He dressed so casually...but my _god_!

Today, the torture included dark bootleg jeans and a tight navy blue sweater—tight enough to emphasise his muscular chest and arms.

I could have drooled and not noticed. He took a measured step forward, his finger moving under my chin and bringing my face up. He glanced around, his hand moving slowly around my waist. I bit my lip, smiling conspiratorially. He grinned crookedly, pulling me to him. Our bodies were touching, I could feel his warmth and it was...fantastic.

Without thinking, my body pressed even harder to him. He smiled down at me, his fingers brushing my hair back from my wind-whipped face, they grazed down from my temple to my chin. They gently caressed my bottom lip—which was now quivering with anticipation. "Don't tease me," I whispered, he chuckled, leaning down.

_Oh thank god!_ I exulted. But he wasn't done teasing—ugh. His lips ghosted over mine, leaving a tingling sensation in it's wake.

They then moved slowly above my lips, to the tip of my nose, to my forehead, down my cheek, my jaw line, to my throat and down my neck.

I was breathing heavily as he kept repeating this, his lips placing a tender peck at my collar bone and the hollow at the base of my throat.

I couldn't take any more games. My hand reached for his neck, pulling his face to mine whether he was ready or not. My forwardness caught him by surprise—sucker. I smiled against his lips, revelling in the small win I had achieved before his lips parted with a slight sigh that assaulted my fucking brain—leaving me an incoherent fool. I succumbed to him, letting him lead me.

His right hand cupped my face—grasping my hair tightly. My hands grasped his sweater, my hands balling into fists against his chest, trying in vain to pull him tighter against me.

It was in vain, because he was already as close as he could go. He stepped backwards, pulling me along with him. He turned us around, and while my eyes stayed closed, I heard the door close. His hand came back around my waist, turning us around once more. He slowly stepped us further backwards until I could feel the cold hard wall against my back.

His hand moved from my waist, smoothing up my body to my arms, unclasping them from his shirt and moving them behind his neck.

I did as silently ordered and locked my arms around his neck. My arms were an obstruction between us, now, without them there, our bodies pressed closer, impossibly closer.

I liked it, even if it did make breathing harder than it already was when he kissed me.

He pulled back, his fingers moving behind my head and gently tugging the hair tie out.

He gently tucked it into my jacket pocket, letting my hair fall to my shoulders in thick wavy curtains of brown.

He smiled, leaning down, inhaling the scent of my hair, his nose grazing up my neck to my ear lobe.

I shuddered, he brought his lips back to mine, my tongue moved, invading his mouth hungrily. He copied, mingling with my tongue in the process. I moaned and whimpered softly into his mouth, he groaned and growled—god, it made me crazy.

I caught his lip between my teeth, arching my back off the wall, my hips moving into his. His body shifted slightly back, moving away from me, yet he still kept his mouth on mine. I frowned, gently pulling back to stare at him. "What's wrong?" I asked, placing both hands on his face. He shook his head, biting his lip, his eyes hooded.

I pulled him back, letting it go, my hands moved to his waist, wanting him pressed against me again. He hesitated and I frowned again.

He sighed, pressing his face into the crook of my neck. "You're driving me crazy," he muttered. I scoffed. "You can talk." I murmured, frowning more.

He kissed me again, more hesitant than before and it was getting on my nerves. He was gentle but not as into it as before.

When he let my face go so we were no longer touching he had a pained look on his face. I raised an eyebrow, smirking than shaking my head.

"You should go now, there'll be people here soon." He said softly, although his voice was slightly husky. I nodded, smiling and biting my lip.

He took a step back, sitting on the corner of his desk. I swept my hair behind my back, taking a slow, hesitant step forward toward him. His face looked worried, his eyes looked like they were saying 'have mercy!' I shrugged it off, a good bye peck wouldn't be too much to ask, would it? I leaned closer, gently kissing him once on the lips, savouring the taste.

I sighed happily, letting my breath brush against his face. He breathed it in and hummed. I pulled my face away, he looked even more pained than before.

I was about to ask if I had accidentally kneed him in the groin when I heard a car pull up outside. I bit my lip and sighed. It was time to leave, time to go back to pretending there was nothing going on. Go back to acting like student and teacher—respectively. He smiled tentatively from where he sat, his hands clasped in front of him on his lap.

I smiled back, perking an eyebrow before shaking my head. "I'll see you later," I whispered. He nodded. "I..." he sighed. "I love you." He murmured. I couldn't help my grin.

"Love you, too..." I paused then grinned. "Mr. Cullen." His face fell and I laughed. I waved behind me, opening the door and closing it behind me—the icy air was horribly brutal against my skin. I shivered and walked back to my truck for my things. School tended to go on like that for the rest of the week.

Mike _had _come back to school—much to my disappointment and Edward's blatant fury. Yes, he had supposedly harassed me in the hallway which he then claimed was a misunderstanding, and the night of the game was just an accident—I _was_ accident prone, after all.

Edward had gone into a heated rage over that, but of course, couldn't show his real emotions to the school board. So he was allowed back at school, under the watchful eye of Mr Edward Cullen, English Dept. I laughed when he announced his title like that.

Jacob, on the other hand, hadn't needed to be expelled or suspended, seeing as how he didn't show up at school at all that week.

Edward and I both expected a shit fight over what had happened. We hadn't reported it straight away that night, we had previous...ahem, engagements.

So, the story was rocky on our behalf, then we would have had to explain what we did for the rest of the game...other than dab some disinfectant on my lip.

That was strictly between Edward and me, so therefore couldn't be divulged to the authorities, or his boss, or we would be stuck in another shit fight—just between the two of us. Which would be numerous shades of tragedy. On one hand, it was hard sneaking around, but on the other, it was the deviousness that gave us that element of excitement.

It was exhilarating and also tiresome at times.

It became especially fearful one day—the day Alice Cullen walked in.

It was a Tuesday, at lunch, I was _helping the teacher carry text books from the library back to his office_, apparently.

I had been the only volunteer, so therefore I was reaping the benefits. I was sitting on his desk again, a comfortable and routine action.

His button down shirt was open—we knew we were pushing it but couldn't find it in us to care right at that moment. I certainly didn't care at all once I laid my eyes on that body. I almost convulsed.

He was standing up, leaning over me, his hands were moving down my back, over the top of my clothes. He tested the waters, lifting my shirt slightly. When I pressed closer, he knew it as a sign of affirmation, meaning 'go the fuck ahead, I don't mind'.

His fingers tickled the skin of my back, over my hips and up my waist, stopping at my bra. My breathing hitched and came out in desperate pants.

His eyes were closed but even without seeing them open, I could tell the restraint he was putting into this. That made me smile.

So, instead of waiting for him to do it, I pushed his hands over my breasts and moaned softly when he did. His mouth came down on mine again—hard, eager and dangerous.

He was panting a soft melody into my mouth, our tongues plunging into each other. I moved my hands to his waist, down to his hips and into the loops of his jeans, tugging his hips closer, he hissed slightly when we came into contact. Again, he frustratingly held back.

I was getting sick of this and was planning on protesting when we heard footsteps approaching, briskly.

They were light but still recognisable. We stiffened. "Oh, fuck." I whispered out of habit. _We had a good run. _My mind sighed unhappily.

**:O What will happen? will they be busted? stay tuned! i love cliff hangers!**

**Reviews are better than Edward's open button down ;)**


	12. Love it, sneak it, Postit

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight!**

**Ooh, busted? LOL. Thanks for reviews they make me warm inside my motherfucking tummy :)**

The footsteps were fast approaching.

We both went rigid for a split second before I pushed Edward back, he got to work on buttoning up his shirt—which was a tragedy in itself.

I focused on getting off the desk, pulling my sweater back down and wiping that look off my face that says 'sexy time'.

I managed to achieve the last to, however giving my inability to walk flat surfaces or keep vertical, most of the time—I fell flat on my face, literally.

I pushed myself off the desk, sliding my butt forward so my dangling feet would reach the ground—stupid me. They swung under the desk and I fell forward.

"Hmmf," I had the breath knocked out of me, my face inches from the hard surface.

In any other circumstance, Edward would have been quick to laugh about it while he helped me up.

Instead, the door opened then, freezing us in a state of motionless staring. I froze in my uncomfortable spot on the floor by Edward's feet. He glanced at whoever came in the door, then covered up his 'sexy time' face with one of mere amusement.

The intruding stranger laughed then—it was sweet, high and tinkling—a woman's.

I brought my knees to my chest, heaving myself upright and clearing my throat. Edward was sat at his office chair, scooted very close to his desk, he had his hands on a stack of previously untouched paper work and tests that he was supposed to mark yesterday.

Biting my lip, I swivelled around to glance shyly at the teacher that just entered.

"Are you alright, sweet heart?" she smiled, looking slightly amused but affectionately concerned. I nodded. "Uh, yeah." I said in a shaky voice.

"Thanks," I breathed. "I can be a little clumsy." I muttered. Edward glanced up at me from the corner of his eye, a small smile tugging at his lips.

I wanted to whack him over the back of the head. "So, uh, you needed to see me about my paper, sir?" I meticulously covered my reason for being here in the staffroom at lunch. "Oh, before you do that, let me introduce myself," the woman began, stepping forward to take my hand in a friendly greeting.

I took the time to size her up with my eyes.

Once she reached me, I finally gauged how short she was, I frowned to myself, puzzled. She must have been five foot tall, if that. Her black hair was spiked like a little pixies, her face was also that of one—very feminine with small facial features. I envied them.

Her skin was pale, her eyes were a hazel-green colour.

She dressed the part of an enchanted wood creature or eccentric art teacher, I mused silently. She wore light fabric dress, dark blue in colour with tasteful patterns and embroidery with black tights underneath. She smiled warmly at me, I took her tiny hand in mine and shook it, smiling back. "I'm Alice Cullen," she grinned. My eyebrows shot up.

"Oh," I breathed. "Oh, I'm Bella." I replied with a sheepish smile. "I'm sure you've already met my square of a brother, Edward." I nodded, feigning indifference.

I almost smiled at her use of the word, square. And my, did she have that wrong. Edward cleared his throat then, earning a glare from his sister.

I tried to keep the smile on my face, but it probably contorted into a painful grimace.

"It's nice to meet you. Do you do art or drama as an elective, Bella?" she asked curiously, slowly loping toward her desk. Edward shared his office with two other teachers—which came to be tricky, but with Miss. Cullen usually prancing around in the Drama room or Art room at lunch times, we were safe.

This was because the other teacher, Mr. Berty was on long service leave—we doubted he would come back to work anyway, he was long over-due for retirement.

"Um," I shook my head. "No. I do Biology, Spanish..." I trailed off with a grimace. "I'm not really the...artistic or...theatrical type." She smiled and laughed. "That's okay." She smiled, turning her gaze to Edward. "I'm sure she's a good student, though, Edward?" she asked, perking an eyebrow toward him. I smiled tightly, turning my attention to him. He gulped, his face was as pale as a sheet. "Oh, absolutely not." He smiled sarcastically.

"Horrible girl." Alice laughed. "I see." She grinned, turning to me once more before she sat down behind her paint covered table.

Her desk space wasn't covered in paper work, like Edward's. It was strewn with stage plans, pinned up on the cork board behind her, paint bottles dotting the space on the wooden surface, paintbrushes everywhere and scripts. Piles upon piles of play scripts. I turned my body back to Edward.

He motioned for me to take a seat on the chair opposite him. I murmured quietly to him about my English paper. He nodded and kept scanning over it with his red pen after taking it out of the untouched folder. Our heads snapped up when Miss. Cullen spoke again.

"Writing about a play, are we?" she enquired with an excited tone in her voice. "Mind if I look?" she smiled, flitting over to us and hovering over Edward's shoulder.

"Ah, Romeo and Juliet." She sighed cheerfully. "So popular, yet such an original classic." Edward and I nodded in total agreement. "What you've said about it in here, Bella..." she shook her head. "You have an amazing ear for all those subtle things in the writing." She complimented. I blushed, flattered.

"Thank you." I smiled. "You're certainly, most welcome. Most people your age have no idea." She added. Edward nodded.

"Yes, it's a very good paper, I just wanted to commend you on how well you've done." He said to me. I could tell he was thinking the same thing. 'That was a fucking close one.' My breathing had gone back to normal now, although my pulse was still jumping around like a kid in an inflatable castle. My English grades had been slipping, but after the football game, the night we made our love clear for one another, my grades had mysteriously picked up.

Charlie had noticed my change in attitude and how well I had been doing at school, putting it down to the extra time I now devoted to him.

I smiled and let him believe it—not wanting to burst his bubble. Little did he know, I was receiving better grades—not because Edward was biased and gave me better marks because of our...situation—because I was studying a lot more, I had the drive and the perfect tutor who was willing to give me pointers when I needed them. My mind came back to the present when she spoke again.

"It's such a beautiful story...the charismatic people, the romance, the devotion...the pain." She paused then smiled wickedly.

"Then the forbidden love." I blanched at this one, dropping my gaze to the table, not wanting to see Edward's reaction to that.

"Juliet was so young, too." She murmured then took a deep breath. "Well, enjoy yourselves. I'll be going off to get some lunch, you want anything?" she asked Edward. "No thank you." He muttered. I saw the paper drop back into his hands, we stayed utterly still until we heard the click of the door closing.

I swallowed loudly, slowly raising my eyes to meet his face. It was flat...plain and betraying no emotions. Ugh, I hated it when he did that. He always did it whenever he was reminded of the gravity of what we were doing, what we had gotten ourselves involved in. "Edward," I started in a murmur.

"You've done very well, Bella." He commended in a business-like manner. "Huh? Edward—" "You should go have lunch with your friends." He continued, keeping his gaze locked on the paper in his hands. I stared angrily, my mouth hanging open.

I looked at the door, stood up woodenly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor.

"Fine." I snapped. He didn't look up as I made my retreat, grabbing my bag from beside his desk and throwing it over my shoulder.

"I'll see you in English, Mr. Cullen." I said acidly as I paused at the doorway. I opened it and gently shut it behind me, stalking out into the empty hallways and to the cafeteria. I could see it in his eyes...he was reconsidering. My mind was on a nervous rampage. He couldn't just throw it away, not after all the things we've said, he just can't.

Like he said so, he can't. So why was I so frightened he might? Because I knew him. And what I knew of him was that he was responsible and noble.

He would find some way to blame himself for this, when I'm at as much fault as he is.

He would blame himself, then he would leave me, because he wanted to save me from ruining my life.

It sounded like something he would say, too. Which made me feel sick to my stomach with fear. I threw my bag in my locker and headed toward the cafeteria to sit with my _friends_. The way I heard it fall from his lips, it was like a lashing. He was talking down to me—like I was the student, which is what I was but never how he treated me when we were together.

Every chance we got, we never talked to each other like student and teacher; we spoke to each other like adults, like a couple. It elated me.

It made me feel so grown up and mature and sexy. I gritted my teeth as I sauntered in, nobody looked my way or even noticed I hadn't been eating in here for the past week and a half. Biology project, English study, I had told everyone. I took a seat next to Ang, feeling lonely and rejected. She looked up, surprised.

"Bella!" she grinned, instantly warming my heart. I smiled back half-heartedly. "Hey, Ang." I murmured.

She pushed her tray towards me, offering me food. I had to admit, it was a pain not being able to eat during the day at school anymore. I took her blueberry muffin and began to nibble at it. "Thanks," I mumbled. She smiled and nodded. "Where's Jake?" she asked, glancing around the room for him.

I chewed on my tongue and sighed, putting the muffin on the table. "I wouldn't know." I answered coldly. She raised her eyebrows at this.

"Huh? But, I thought you guys were together...?" she said it like a question, like she wasn't sure. "We're not anymore." I said, eyeing her.

She frowned and cocked her head to the side, her short brown hair falling from her messy bun.

"What happened?" she asked, her warm voice concerned and not prying like Jessica Stanley's would have been.

"He was a jerk, and it was just a matter of time before I realised." She frowned harder, trying to understand. "Okay, but what happened exactly. You just had an epiphany?" she shook her head. I straightened up in my chair, turning my body to face hers.

I took deep breath, knowing that no-one besides Edward knew about this.

I couldn't give too much away, Ang would push me to tell someone.

I couldn't do that. "He tried to do stuff with me...at the game last Saturday..." I shook my head.

"He was going to force me. So I kicked him off and..." I shrugged. "That's it." I locked eyes with Angela, her mouth hung wide open, her eyes looked like they were about to burst from their sockets. She squeaked almost inaudibly before she raised her voice.

"He _what?!_" she demanded. Poor Ben jumped a foot high from his seat his usually quiet girlfriend's loud outburst.

"Shh," I hushed her, glancing around.

"It's already been taken care of. He's obviously too much of a coward to come to school, so I don't have to worry about anything. Besides," I added, thinking of a quick lie to placate her. "Charlie will take care of me." Her face softened a bit and I could tell she wasn't going to argue the point if she thought authorities were involved.

Sweet Angela, it was so like her to want to help.

"Are you okay, though? I mean, what exactly did he try to do?" she asked, putting her hand over mine.

I squeezed her hand back in a gesture of thanks.

I sighed. "I'm fine. I'm not even worried about him approaching me," I lied.

"I'll be fine." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Did he..." she hesitated, cautious but needing to know something.

She leaned closer to whisper. "Did he try to...to _rape_...you?" she asked, her eyes full of worry and dread. I bit my lip and looked down at the floor, not knowing what to say. I heard her quick intake of breath then the outraged disgusted noise she made. "That motherfucker!" she hissed.

And, even though she was being dead serious. I couldn't help but let a giggle escape.

Hearing Angela say motherfucker was about as funny as a nun flipping you off. She stared at me incredulously.

"Sorry," I murmured. "But you never swear, it was just funny hearing it come from you." I giggled a little more, unable to help myself. Maybe the grief and anger was finally getting to me. Edward would be the one to blame once I finally snapped and went postal on all their asses.

I sighed, and yet, if I did go insane, I probably couldn't bring myself to blame him anyway.

If anything, he made my life more worth living. It may be easier without him, in theory.

But trying to put that theory into practice? It would be one hundred percent harder, like dragging myself up a gruellingly steep cliff with my bare hands. The panic was washing over me again at the thought of him leaving me. What would I do if he did?

That question, what would I do if he left me? Festered like a sore in my brain.

The bell rang for class and my borrowed food went untouched.

~~~___~~~

I had English straight after lunch break.

For once, I didn't want to go, I dawdled out in the hallway until it was completely necessary for me to enter.

It wasn't because I didn't want to see him. It was because I was afraid of what he would say. If he was going to break up with me, I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to stay ignorant and pretend that everything was fine and we were happy than face the painful truth that this wasn't working.

I took one last, shaky and agonising breath before storming in silently. Nobody raised their heads to notice me.

I sat down at my usually spot, refusing to acknowledge Edward at the front of the room. I chanced a peek, he had his head down, leaning over the desk and fixing up his papers. "I have your papers back," he announced. The room went silent and someone piped up. "Finally!" they breathed, excited.

Edward smiled...not a real smile. _Oh crap._ If he was miserable...that meant that he was actually planning to... I gnashed my teeth together and stared at the desk. I was breathing hard, my lungs aching. I felt him brush past me, handing back our assignments.

His hand appeared on my line of sight, holding my essay before me.

I held my hands out, taking it from him. It happened like slow-motion, no-one would have noticed the small exchange.

My fingers tingled with electricity when his hand ran over them. He kept walking then, handing out the others before standing at the front of the room again, taking his seat on the corner of the desk with his hands clasping in front of him. "Take a look at your marks, if there is anything you need to ask about, don't hesitate."

I flipped the page over to the mark sheet, my jaw dropping. "A?" I whispered to myself, happily.

_Well, don't get used to it, Bella. Not if he's going to dump your ass. You'll be back to square one._

My face fell. I turned to the next page, a small post-it note was stuck to the back page. I frowned, glancing around before reading the elegant, cursive.

_Bella,_

_Meet me in my office after school. We need to talk._

_-Edward._

_What?_ I stared, tears sprouting.

'We need to talk?' That was code for 'i'm dumping you nicely.'

I pressed my lips together to keep from sobbing out loud. I hastily wiped the tears away, clearing my throat before speaking so it wouldn't sound like I was on the verge of an emotional break-down. No way. It would not happen like this. I couldn't face it. Maybe in a couple of days...or years. Just not today. I shook my head.

"Sir?" I asked, his head snapped up. "Yes, Bella?" he said warily, knowing I must have read the note.

"I need to leave early. Doctor's appointment." He frowned. I knew that he knew I would have told him if I had a doctor's appointment.

Yet he couldn't deny my freedom when there were witnesses around. What kind of teacher would he look like then?

I also knew that he knew I was using it as an excuse to dodge whatever meeting he had planned.

"Uh," he looked around the class that had their faces buried in their marks, talking animatedly with each other, either moaning in disappointment or squeaking with joy.

"Of course." He allowed. I stood up, gathering my books and stalking out. "Just a moment," he said, halting my movements. He stepped out of the room with me.

I didn't give him a chance to do it then. "I need to go." I said quickly.

"I can't... I need to go, now."

I breathed heavily, almost sprinting across the rainy car park to my truck so I could break down in a fit of tears.

***evil grin* hehehehehe!**

**What will happen next? Hehehe...fear not, Bella can be a bit prone to overreaction sometimes.**

**Did you like Alice? She's so sweet, so is Angela. I loved that scene in the cafeteria :)**

**I have a lot of twists and turns ahead, stay tuned...if you dare ;)**


	13. Four instant reactions

**This chapter would have been up sooner, but because of previous engagements, like the new NEWMOON trailer being previewed at the VMAs, I lost track.**

**Who can blame me, right?**

**JIZZ**

**:D Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Sadly. Coz if I did, it would be full of smutt and toilet humour. LOL. But then again, I love it the way it is.**

**:) Hoep you likey!**

**If you haven't already, go check out Buried in the bergonias by Durty Nelly. Very well written. :) **

I sucked up enough courage to wake up the next morning.

It was like he had already broken up with me—the pain was almost too much to endure.

Just the waiting killed me. The suspense felt just as agonising as I imagined the after effect will be.

I brushed my hair, tying it up in a pony tail—just to spite him, I knew how he liked it when I wore it down.

I dressed in jeans and my blue blouse—it was the only thing I had left that wasn't dirty—I had been neglecting my washing duties. I sort of travelled in a numb state—catatonic, like I couldn't move. I was so afraid of what I was sure to face today.

Once I stepped out of my truck, I thought I was going to have to go home.

I was a complete wreck—breathing hard and shaking like a leaf.

I thought if I ditched now, I could avoid this for another day. But who would that make me? What kind of person was I turning into?

A coward. That wasn't the Bella I liked. I sure as hell didn't want to become less of who I knew I was.

So I bit my lip, concentrated hard on breathing slowly and put one foot in front of the other. Now, keeping my head down, it doesn't really help when you try not to run into people. As my foot reached the concrete under the cover by the cafeteria, my head came into contact with someone's chest. I gasped, falling off balance.

"Shit!" I muttered, looking up. "I'm sorry," I murmured apologetically to the boy I ran into. He smiled angelically, dropping his hands from my arms.

He brushed his brown hair from his eyes—that were a beautiful golden brown colour. He was very boy-ish.

I worked to keep my smile from turning into a grimace as I realised he reminded me of Mike. "No problem." He grinned, showing a row of gleaming white teeth.

I tried not to be rude, so I smiled back and tried to swerve around him. "I'm Alec," he introduced himself, holding his hand out.

"Oh, hey," I said politely, taking his hand and shaking it. "I'm Bella." I smiled quickly and went to weave around him again. He tried to stop me, walking backwards through the crowd, not breaking eye contact with me. I raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?" I enquired, amused at his persistence. He grinned then frowned.

"Um, well as you've probably worked out, I'm kind of new here, so..." he pouted his lip. "Can you show me around?" I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Can I show you _around?_" I repeated, scoffing. He nodded, his brow slanted into a worried expression. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"Why would you want _me_ to show you around?" I asked, confused.

Surely there was enough meat around here to avoid the weird loner girl.

Maybe he was _really_ lost. He bit his lip, smiled then shrugged. I noted the piece of paper clutched in his hand—his new class schedule and a map of the school. Not like it was hard to find your way in this tiny building. "Um..." I considered, biting my lip. I didn't want to be inconsiderate.

He was more than likely feeling the way I felt on my first day. I sighed, resigned and defeated.

"Fine," I shrugged. He grinned victoriously, falling into step beside me before he tripped over someone.

I shook my head, surprised. I pointed to buildings and explained what they were for. He handed me his schedule and I told him where to go on the map. We walked into the hallway where our lockers were. The hallways were packed full of bustling teenagers, groggy and tired, not wanting to be at school—same as every day.

I squeezed through the prongs of chatting people, trying not to lose my footing. Alec got caught in a group of junior girls—he blushed, embarrassed before racing hastily to my side again, like a puppy. I felt sympathy, I knew what it was like your first day, however I knew that he would have no problem adjusting.

He seemed the popular type, no doubt a pretentious clique would adopt him the first day.

I sighed and as I turned I tripped over someone's extended foot, falling to the floor, falling side on, my hip and shoulder grinding painfully against the ground first, followed by my head. I grunted. "Ow," I muttered. My fall erupted into bedlam. People stopped talking to transfix their eyes on my vulnerable state.

I groaned. Why today? Today of all days? I could hear numerous sets of feet coming toward me, intending on help while the others snickered, thinking my bad luck was hilarious. Two hands picked me up off the floor, not until I was upright did I figure out they belonged to two different people.

"Alright, everyone move on." Edward snapped angrily, clearly agitated. My body froze, tensing for the onslaught.

Although he obviously wasn't going to do it here, my mind still reacted—like an instinct, a defence mechanism.

I wasn't ready. Not yet. I bit my lip, my face flushed with anger and fear rather than embarrassment.

I had also closely noted how neither hand left my arm, both holding just above my elbow.

Alec on my right, Edward on my left. My bitterness over the morning evaporated the moment I saw his face—concerned, perfect, hurt and worried. Whatever he was going to do... I couldn't think about it, but seeing his face, it sort of dimmed the fears, rather than escalating them.

Their hands were broad and firm, holding me vertical. Alec spoke up then, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Are you okay?" he asked, leaning close to me. I nodded, my face probably looked pale and drawn—it wasn't from the fall, though.

"Bella?" Edward spoke then, his voice melodic and velvety. The sound made my bones quiver. I turned my head to him.

"Yes?" I whispered. I was surprised he could hear me over the crash of locker doors slamming and people talking—it was loud.

He intensified his gaze, looking at me under his eyelashes. I gulped. Why was he doing this to me? It was already going to be torturous enough. Why make me suffer more than necessary? He looked over my shoulder then. "I think I need to take her to the nurse." He said decisively to Alec. He paused then.

"Are you a new student?" he asked, curious. "Yeah, just started today, actually." I turned my face in time to see him smile warmly. Edward didn't wear the same expression, however. He tried to keep a nice, polite facade but he didn't fool me. "Guess you'll have to show me around some other time, then?" he asked, smirking at me.

"Uh," I mumbled. I nodded and he slowly let go of me. I hoped to god that I was hallucinating this all. Unfortunately not—Edward's breath hit my face, rendering me useless. He pulled my arm over his shoulder, I dragged my feet slowly. My head hurt a little, as did my pelvis and shoulder, but it wasn't anything that needed medical attention.

Of course, Edward felt otherwise inclined. Which was what I expected of him.

But instead of taking me to the school nurse who would have just given me a Tylenol and told me to suck it up—he took me to his office.

~~~___~~~

I struggled slightly. _No, no, no! _My mind begged.

I looked at him, my eyes pleading. He frowned, not understanding.

He pulled me in against my will, sitting me down on his office chair.

"Bella," he started with a glum sigh. "No," I stated flatly, objecting.

"Don't do this." I beseeched. I shook my head frantically, clawing at my jeans with both hands. I stared down at them. He stood over me, placing his hand on either side of the arm rests on his chair. I had no choice but to look into his eyes.

"I was going to." He confessed, his eyes ashamed and tormented.

I let out a faint whimper, my bottom lip trembling, my stomach flipped and my eyes welled with tears.

Four instant reactions, uncontrollable.

His face altered dramatically, he knelt down before me so he was almost in direct eye level to me. I swallowed loudly, shivering involuntarily when his hand reached up to touch my cheek. His features had shifted from worried, concern to downright miserable, anxious agony.

I don't even know if he was aware of how they shifted so quickly. He probably only felt his emotions change, not his expression. He stroked a thumb over my quivering lip, his eyes followed his moving finger before meeting my eyes again.

"I thought it was what...Well, it still is the right thing to do.

I always do the right things, Bella." He said, stressing the point.

My breathing hitched. This was it. This was truly it. I just silently hoped he didn't have to suffer as much as he looked like he did—or as much as I knew I will. He looked away then, frowning, his face contorting in what looked like pain and indecision.

He took a deep breath, looking back up. "I _always_ do. But..." he let the sentence hang there, shaking his head. He said, 'But'. That word was like a life raft. "No matter how hard I try, I would never be able to do it." He leaned closer, his face inches away.

"No matter how much trouble I get in...No matter what people would think if this got out...No matter how wrong it sounds...There is no way in hell I'm strong enough to do what's right. Not this time." He whispered.

My tears had relented, my cheeks still wet. I stared through his eyes, into the man that lived inside.

He had shown just how vulnerable he really was. He may be impenetrable and stoic on the surface, but he knew hurt and love, just like everyone else did. And he chose to show this to me. I managed a smile, weak but still triumphant and relieved.

"I was so afraid you were going to let this go." I mumbled, his fingers wiped my tears away. He kissed my forehead tenderly. "Like I said, I've nowhere to go now, I'm not strong enough for anywhere else but with you." More tears fell, relieved tears.

"You don't know how good that sounds." I whispered, sniffing.

I linked my arms behind his neck. "This morning...I was going to pieces just thinking about what you were going to say to me." I admitted, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. He sighed. "Is that why you were with that new boy? Because you were upset?" he asked and I could detect an ulterior motive behind his curiosity. I narrowed my eyes and pulled back to look him in the eye. "No," I said slowly. "He approached me, well..." I thought about it.

"I ran into him and he wouldn't leave me alone, cause he needed directions and to be shown around." I took a deep breath.

"So I helped him out." I ended my short explanation. Edward's eye twitched. My eyes narrowed again. "Why do you want to know?" I asked suspiciously. "You should be happy I have someone who bothered to help me up before in the hall." He scoffed. "I'll give him one thing, he works fast." He muttered aversely. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Huh?" I shook my head, not understanding. "He was hitting on you." He frowned. A giggle burst from my lips. "I'm sorry, that was really funny." He rolled his eyes. "You have no idea, Bella. I saw how he looked at you. The way he talked to you. He hardly even knows you yet and he's got..._puppy dog _eyes." He griped.

"Yeah, sure." I mumbled dismissively. "Believe me, Bella. I hear what young boys here talk about. They think I'm not listening or that I don't care—I _am _a teacher, after all. High school crushes and romances don't apply to me—according to them." He said with a slightly horrified face. I stared, still disbelieving.

"Your name has come up a few times, actually. More times than I'm thrilled about." I smiled.

"Are you...jealous of the guys in my grade?" I asked innocently, cocking my head to the side.

He glared for a moment before his eyes glazed over, thinking over the possibility. He glanced back at me before muttering.

"Yes," My face fell, I was only joking. Yet he looked torn up about it. "I'm sorry." I murmured, placing my palm to his cheek.

He held it there, smiling slightly. "Don't be. You can't help it." He said smiling wider. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

I leant closer. It had felt like days since we last kissed, when it was only yesterday. Being torn from the inside out, it somehow made the heart grow fonder—if that made any sense.

It did in my head. He moved his face the rest of the distance. Our lips met hungrily and fully of insatiate desire. My hand moved to his hair—that glorious bronze hair.

His hands gripped the chair, pulling me closer so my legs were on either side of his torso. How many times had we made out here? Seventeen or so, but who's counting?

My nose inhaled his scent, thankful that I had unlimited access now. His hands glided up the sides of my legs to my hips. My tongue slid into his mouth, earning a tasty moan from him.

It was enough to make me moan in response. His tongue pushed into my mouth. I needed more, right now. But we couldn't. It was a dreadful feeling, putting our passion to a halt. Surprisingly, he didn't stop so quickly like usual. I pushed myself closer, inching off the seat and pushing my body against his.

He sucked in a breath, growling into my mouth before his hands raked up and down my spine. I shivered, my hands moved of their own volition, down to his belt.

I used it as leverage, pulling his hips close to mine, I needed to feel him—all of him, everything I could. Because the craving needed to be satisfied.

Then, I distantly remembered how he always hesitated around this point, usually due to something I did.

I tested my theory inquisitively. I dragged my tongue across his bottom lip whilst simultaneously moving my hips into his. On cue, he hissed slightly, hesitating, his kisses slowing. I groaned. "Why do you always do that?" I muttered restlessly, my breathing laboured.

His was too, which made me proud. "Do what?" he breathed, moving closer to kiss up and down my neck.

"Um," I murmured. "Uh,"_ Wait, uh, what? The hesitating. Got it. Don't get distracted._ I frowned to myself, he was good at the art of distraction...not to mention persuasion as well.

Not that he needed more qualities.

I pushed my hips closer to his, he backed up a little in response. "That," I said. "Why do you always back away?" I asked.

He sighed, smiling slightly. He laughed a little—nervously. When was Edward ever nervous? Was he _blushing?_ "I'm not a super hero, Bella. I don't have some meticulous self-control. I _am_ a man." I frowned then pressed my lips together to keep from smiling as I realised. I had to work hard to keep from giggling.

Mostly at myself for being so thick and pushing poor Edward to breaking point. How unfair of me. I guess I had mastered the art of teasing, too, and...persuasion.

I grinned evilly to myself, flattered. I glanced down between us, smiling back up at him. I hooked a finger into his belt, pulling him closer but not close enough that we were touching—so close, though. He stared into my eyes with a perked eyebrow, his hands were resting on my thighs.

I could feel myself growing more and more...aroused, because of him. I tried not to let my shaking breaths noticeable as I slowly and gently ran my hand over the denim of his pants. I ran it all the way up his toned stomach, to his chest. He caught my hand before it could repeat the circuit.

"Not here," he whispered huskily. He let my hand go, trusting that I would play nice. I obliged, smiling wickedly.

Apparently, though, two could play at that game. He leaned closer, a devilish glint in his eyes.

He kissed my chin, down my throat and to the base of it, pausing, his hands smoothing down my waist and stopping at my hips.

His thumbs dug into the tops of my thighs. I sucked in a breath—so simple, barely even inappropriate and it still drove me insane.

I wanted him to claw his fingers through my clothes.

His kisses didn't stop there, though. He was getting payback. How mean, dirty and fucking awesome. He kissed down my chest, down to my stomach, painfully slow. I leaned back in the chair, my arms going limp, I stared up at the ceiling, feeling him explore his way down my torso.

He reahed my belly button, hovering—would he go up again or go—gulp—lower?

I waited impatiently—knowing all too well that he would never engage in something like that while we were here—but hoping that he would. I could almost sense the smugness he had even without looking at him. I gasped as he kissed once more, just above the button on my jeans. _Water! I NEED SOME WATER! Or a fan, a fucking fire engine! Anything!_

He stopped, his hands moved to my shoulders and I knew he was done teasing. I pouted unhappily down at him. He kissed me once more, catching my bottom lip between his.

"Touché." I sighed in defeat.

***giggles uncontrollably* Yes thats right girls, Edward _is_ a man. Thank the lord we have him. I'm not a jesus person, or religious, but my god, thank you!**

**Anywhoo, did you like it? He's a dirty little boy ;) hehe hehehe hehehe.**

**Lethar88, you deserve an Edward growl for being such a good reviewer.**

**_Lethar: Kiss me, kiss me, you beautiful fool!_**

**_Edward: I can't. I am devoted to you, but I am brooding and troubled. Stop tormenting me._**

**_Lethar: Pleeeasseee??_**

**_Edward: Ugh, stop it, your driving me crazy, Lethar, baby._**

**_Lethar: *giggles*_**

**_Edward: Don't make me ravish you, I swear I will._**

**_Lethar: Oh noo *mock horror*_**

**_Edward: That's it. *growls*_**

**_And then he ravished you. Pretty hot huh? *wiggles eyebrows* _**

**Another shout out to all my reviewers, EdwardsElla, lil miss bella cullen, Pandora 1975, Jaliz 06, Fear girl...the list goes on, but all of you guys are amazing!**

**Thank you!**


	14. Gore on your locker door

**Love your reviews peoples! You are the best, most loyal fans. LOVE YOU!**

**Hope you like :) Listen to romantic music to start with then when they leave the music room, switch to something eerie and weird for full effect. ;)**

We fell easily back into our routine, stealing kisses and lunch time groping sessions—it sounded crude, but if you were there, you wouldn't complain.

He never tried to push me or go any farther than heavy making out. We _were_ at school.

The door didn't have a lock on it—what a disaster it would be if another teacher or student walked in and caught us naked, going at it on Edward's desk? Knowing me—and how Edward made me feel—I assume that not even someone walking in would make me stop.

I sighed lazily as I sat in the music room—waiting for him. Edward. My soul, my heart, my life all in one neat package. I dragged a swivelling, back-less office chair to the piano. The bench had been broken and now sat in a splintered pile of old wood by the door.

Someone should clean that up. I cleared my throat theatrically, cracking my knuckles and shaking my hands out.

I breathed deeply, pretending to be the magnificent pianist I knew I wasn't and would never be.

That didn't stop me from having fun playing. My fingers were even inept—like the rest of my body—missing keys while I tried to play twinkle-twinkle little star.

I sighed, unable to get it right. It shouldn't be as hard as I seemed to make it look. I just stared at the keys before pressing my palm into them.

"That's no way to treat such a beautiful creature." That familiar velvety tone sounded from behind me.

I smiled to myself, not turning. I closed my eyes and waited for his approach. I heard his sluggish footsteps—taking his time. His hands snaked around my waist, his body pressing gently against my back. I smiled, inhaling his luscious scent. "Mmm..." I hummed, agreeing with anything he said when he held me—heck, I'd agree to murdering a litter of puppies.

Which was extremely disturbing and unstable. Well, love was messed up, right? Seriously.

But yet again, I found myself thinking that this was far from messy or unnatural.

It couldn't possibly be, not when it felt so right. His lips moved to my neck, kissing up and down it to my shoulder.

I shuddered, enjoying myself a little too much. Without any warning, he spun the chair around, keeping hold of me so I didn't fall off—I think he had become aware of my clumsiness. His hands glided down my arms to my wrists, guiding my hands to link around his neck. He leaned into me and I leaned back—making a horrible sound on the piano keys.

I giggled against his lips. Our tongues intermingled—sending me into my burning frenzy, as always. I had forgotten about decency—everything.

I unlocked my hands from his neck, bringing them down to my blouse and unbuttoning it all the way down.

He didn't seem to notice until his hands moved up my waist, noticing the loose fabric hanging.

He paused, heaving a sigh into my mouth—his sweet breath brutalised my senses.

I sucked his bottom lip, moaning against his skin. I caught his hands where they were about to pull away from me with my own hands. I pulled them closer to my body, to my waist, over my ribs, then to rest over my bra. His breathing hitched, so did mine in response.

His hands stayed where I put them, leaving mine free to explore new places of their own.

I would usually stop myself before reaching his belt buckle. I hesitated—torn. Instead of going straight to his pants—haha—I started at the bottom of his button down shirt, opening it to reveal his glorious body.

I let out a shaky breath, my fingers grazing over his skin—he shuddered.

What a compromising position we found ourselves in. My skin was flushed and my heart fluttered in my chest unevenly.

I only just realised that I was incredibly nervous. This was as far as I had gone with Edward, or with anyone. I was willing to go as far as you could go, with Edward.

But I still had the insecurities of the common teenage girl. I had no idea what to do, I was completely inexperienced and left in the dark for most of my life.

Edward on the other hand—was a grown man. One whom—given his looks—had already been with a variety of women. I wasn't sure how many that entailed—which was somewhat intimidating. He also didn't know I was a virgin, I had never told him, although I assumed he knew this already, given my obvious nerves whenever we were in a romantic situation.

I had grown my confidence steadily over the past few weeks, yet unable to fully grasp Edward himself. His personality, his beauty, everything about him that I loved—it still managed to shock and awe me. I may be inadequate and hideous compared to him, but I was ready, I wanted it. I wanted more. I _needed _it now, it wasn't just overpowering desire.

It was an innate need that required gratification. "I need you." I gasped desperately, voicing my intentions. My hands shot straight down to his belt buckle.

His breathing hitched, breaking the kiss. "Bella, we need to think about this," he whispered huskily, not necessarily an objection. I took it as an affirmation.

"I don't need to think about it anymore than I already have." I smiled at him, gazing into his questioning eyes. My eyes never left his as I unbuckled the metal clasp, the leather strap pulling loosely. I bit my lip and he closed his eyes, sucking in a breath. "But here?" he said weakly, his hands moving in circles atop my thighs.

Our laboured breathing was intense as we stared at each other. "Why not?" I questioned. "I mean, we're in the music room," he protested feebly.

I grinned. "Like anyone comes in here, anyway." I said. "I want to be with you, I want to have my first time with you." I explained in more depth.

His eyes widened and he closed his eyes again with a frown. "No, it can't happen like this." He said more decisively. My face fell. I knew it, he was finding excuses. He didn't want me like he said he did, like I thought I did. That irrational fear was now coming to the fore. I tried to keep the traitor tears from falling like they always did.

He noticed my shift in emotions as I dropped my hands from his belt. He groaned loudly.

"Bella, please don't cry. You're only making it more hard on me, please!" he begged, taking my face in his hands. I swallowed the lump in my throat and fought back the feelings of stinging rejection. "You know I want this..." he whispered, looking in my eyes fixedly.

I nodded. I suppose I believed him. "But if it's...I mean if it's your first time," he took a deep shaky breath.

"I want it to be special for you," his brow furrowed then.

"And special is not doing it on the floor of the music room while being afraid of someone walking in the entire time." I sighed in defeat.

I guess he had a point. "But it's so hard to... It just gets too much sometimes." I admitted, hanging my head. He chuckled darkly at that.

I lifted my eyes to glare up at him. "You have no idea how difficult you make it for me, Bella." He shook his head in humourless amusement.

I pressed my lips to his, my tongue plunging into his mouth again. He sighed breathlessly. "You're really trying me, Bella." He mumbled between kisses.

Keeping with the sort of agreement—I moved my hands to his hair—a safe place to start. His hands hovered over my thighs a moment more before snaking back around my waist.

I wasn't able to douse the burn—the need—but now that I knew it would be satisfied, sooner or later...I found it a little more bearable.

My mind was flooded with Edward so it didn't fully register any of my surroundings. It took me a moment to realise that there was a siren going off.

We broke apart at the same time, frowning. I sighed and decided it was probably a fire drill—I buttoned my blouse back up, Edward buckled his belt. My eyes kept wandering back to his belt... defeated. I watched his fingers as they ran over his face and through his hair. "I didn't get told about a fire drill." He muttered, annoyed. I stood up.

"Well, we need to go anyway." I said, he sighed and nodded in reluctant agreement. The halls had erupted in shrieks and yells as the fire sprinklers rained down over the students.

There was no visible fire anywhere...Edward and I shared a confused glance. "Come on!" He raised his voice to the loitering few people.

I started out the exit, he fell into step beside me—keeping a safe distance. "Everybody out!" he called again, stopping at the door to make sure everyone followed his orders. I walked out into the rain. Huh, stupid to have sprinklers in such a town as this—we had a sprinkler system on the ready almost 24/7.

I watched the last of the students file out, Edward still waited at the door, his hair dripping with water. I turned and followed the crowd down to the football field where we were expected to go in the event of a fire or other emergency similar to that. I found Angela and Ben standing together in a huddle to keep warm.

I joined on the end, linking my arm with Ang's. She smiled warmly at me before squeezing my arm.

I smiled back.

Then...we waited.

The teachers were stalking in and around the building—the principal started toward us, mega-phone in hand. He had an umbrella—obviously, this wasn't a real emergency.

The rest of the school staff came down then to listen.

"At this present time, we know nothing of the situation." He said formally. "There doesn't appear to be any immediate danger to you, though. So sit tight until we figure out what's going on." He told us. Everyone heaved out groans and complaints. We retreated to the bleachers, standing underneath them in an attempt to escape the down pour.

"Any idea about what's going on?" I asked Angela, my teeth chattering and my hair damp, sticking to my face.

She shook her head, hunching over slightly, her teeth chattered too. "No idea." She answered. I frowned.

"Well, it doesn't look like a fire, so someone obviously did it for some other reason." I muttered gurdgingly.

Angela shrugged. "Well, I hope they let us in soon, I can see the beginnings of frost bite." She said, holding her hand out. I laughed shakily, my voice contorted by my muscles spasms. The rain slowed slightly, sprinkling down in a light shower over us.

We were mostly sheltered by the metal seats above us as the teachers and principal sat and waited until the authorities came. I stare up at the school from where I stood in the middle of the drowned seniors. It could have been a trick of the light—or my brain snapping finally, but I swear I saw someone stalking past the hall of windows that faced over the field.

I frowned. Who would be stupid enough to linger around up there? I bit my lip, wondering if I should tell someone.

My eyes searched the line of teachers standing miserably in a line near the group of kids. Edward somehow noticed my gaze and looked up.

Even in the rain, he still managed to look like the best damn thing on this Earth. My gaze locked with his and I was frowning.

I glanced pointedly up at the school then back to him. He frowned then followed my line of sight. The person was no longer there and I sighed. He glanced back at me before turning his attention back to the school. The person passed by the window again before disappearing completely. My eyes widened as Edward turned his gaze back to me. He frowned too, now, noting that he understood what I meant through our silent communication. He raised an eyebrow in question. I shrugged.

I didn't know who the person was. I watched him walk toward the principal and tell him what he saw. Headmaster Greene went to investigate for himself, nodding at Edward before moving off on his own. I rolled my eyes, it would have been smarter to let Edward go, too.

The cops turned up not long after that--Charlie not included, he was out fishing.

We waited for what felt like forever—or more realistically, an hour or so.

It only felt like an eternity because of the freezing cold and torrential rainfall that was soaking us.

Finally, the principal came stomping back towards us, seniors and juniors alike shrank back. He stood before us, pulling the mega-phone to his mouth.

"There appears to be no fire in the school and this was just a stupid prank pulled by someone." He growled angrily. "That person will be prosecuted, _do not_ think for one second that this won't be taken seriously." He added loudly. Everyone there shared a glance that said 'wasn't me.' "Everyone return back to the main building." He ordered sharply.

I rolled my eyes at Angela who was just as puzzled about the whole thing. We all did as we were told, though. The crowd dispersed into the wet halls, the occasional slip and slide was in order. Guys skidded along the wet surfaces, spraying the drain water onto a bunch of passing junior girls. Immature, I thought. They squealed and hissed in unison.

I heard the chatter, someone had pulled the alarm as a joke, some said it was on purpose. I rolled my eyes, bored already with the trivial subject matter.

That was until I heard the loud curses sounding from far down the hall. "Fuck!" someone screeched. My head snapped up, as did everyone else's.

"What the fuck is this?" someone else yelled incredulously.

I frowned, turning to walk toward the screaming so I could investigate.

"Some fucker is trying to fuck with us!" another guy exclaimed.

Girls gasped and covered their mouths. I pushed past them to see what all the commotion was about.

The red liquid dripping from the lockers made my stomach flip and churn uncomfortably. What the fuck was this?

I pushed through the last prong of people so as to get a better look.

My mouth fell open and I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping. The halls had gone eerily silent as we all stared at the wall of lockers. The letters spelt in red were sprawled in a macabre mess across the wall. It _looked_ like blood, but I couldn't be sure.

Nobody spoke a word then, shocked. In what looked like blood, it said: **_Watch it splatter across the floor, prepare for the slaughter. Do not rest easy, we will be coming to slash your throats, to rip your flesh from your bones and watch with amusement as you drown in your own blood._ **

I shuddered violently at that last part, 'watch with amusement as you drown in your own blood.' But who was it directed at?

I wondered to myself. "What the fuck does this mean?" Tyler Crowley spoke up. No-one knew the answer to that. Therefore no-one answered. Suddenly, the crowd split and a group of teachers, including Edward came to assess the cause for disturbance in his school. Mr. Greene stared, jaw dropped to the floor, his eyes wide open.

Edward frowned in disgust—an expression that matched most of the other's faces. "Back to what you were doing." He ordered then.

"Go to class, there's nothing to see here." I almost snorted. Yeah, right, nothing besides the gory threat written across the wall.

Yeah, nothing at all. Still, I walked back to my locker with a weak stomach. It was horrible and spine chilling. Were there kids here that were involved in gangs or something? Some weird devil worshipping? For once—I hope my intuition proved wrong, yet somehow I had the sinking feeling it wouldn't be.

I took a deep breath and glanced at a pale looking Angela. She smiled half-heartedly and went back to retrieving her books.

I sighed and reached out to unlock my locker. I dialled in the combination, the lock snapped open. As I opened the metal door, a waft of something foul smelling hit my face.

I gagged. "What the fuck?" I whispered to myself, reaching in. My hand encountered my books—but they were covered in something...slimy. I gasped, pulling my hand back.

"Mr. Greene!" I called, staring at my hand—now covered in blood. Angela glanced at me and gasped, covering her mouth. "Oh my god!" I clamped my lips together.

I was shivering so hard now, they were almost convulsions. He came stalking up to me, Edward behind him with a confused expression.

They both saw my hand then paled. I looked pointedly into my locker. Mr. Greene pulled out his keys—a small torch was attached to it.

He clicked it on. I almost gagged again. My entire locker was covered in a thick layer of blood—or something resembling it.

Considering the smell, I think it was real. Deciding it was all I could take, I raced past them, shoving through the crowd—they mostly got out of my way, not wanting to get blood on them, either. My feet stumbled over and over as I tried to make my way to the girl's bathroom.

I covered my mouth with the back of my other hand, trying not to vomit on the way there.

Tears in my eyes made it hard to see properly. I pushed the door open, turning swiftly to the sinks—going straight for the faucet and washing the slimy mess off my palm. I grit my teeth against the scream that was building up in my chest. I sucked in a breath, my hands shaking hard, my eyes closed. I shook my head to try to clear it.

I finally opened my eyes...only to encounter another ghastly sight.

The scream broke free—horrifying and blood curdling.

**:D Hehehe! Oh, and just a pre-warning, the next chapter is going to be..erm...more mature. As in it will involve more sexual-ness. Haha.**

**Enjoy!**

**Reviews are better than Edward's belt buckle.**


	15. Bloody threats and pure bliss

***peeks behind curtain* sorry about putting you out with that cliff hanger *evil grin* But I just had to *bats eyelashes***

**LOL. So you're going to love me after this chapter, so I think we can call it a truce?**

**Enjoy!**

**-Birobird**

Through the reflection of the mirror, I saw it on the tiled wall behind me.

The fear and disgust were verbalised in an incomprehensible scream.

My knees buckled and I collapsed onto the floor below me, slipping on my wet hands.

I was gasping in breaths of air, fresh tears streaming in rivulets down my face.

I took a moment to fully assess the sight before me. I glanced up at the bloody wall. Blood. Fresh blood, it seemed. I can't believe I didn't smell it when I first came in here, it was overpowering now. I heard yelling and rushed footsteps out in the hallway, people were coming to investigate the screaming.

I gulped, trying to get to my feet slowly. I read the sentence, over and over again. It still wouldn't process.

Again and again. It was finally registering. I was finally understanding.

Like on the locker doors out in the corridor, in bloody red smears there was a written threat.

The difference? This one was clearly directed at me. I breathed through my mouth, unable to bear the smell anymore. Someone came bursting through the door, the most unexpected person.

"Alec?" I croaked. He frowned and glanced up at the wall, his eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

He wasn't only shocked by the words...but the bloody manikin hanging from the ceiling light with a noose around it's neck.

He stepped towards me and put an arm around my shaking shoulders. I spluttered and whimpered. The next flood of people burst in—teachers, Edward up front.

Our eyes met, they then scanned over me to make sure I wasn't hurt. He glanced at Alec, followed his line of sight then visibly paled.

Alec read the words out loud, making them absolute in my mind. He sucked in a breath, "You will hear her screams, watch the light drain from her eyes and clean up the mess that is her corpse. We won't waste time. After she's fucked, she's dead. Bella Swan, you're next, slut." I gulped, shaking and sobbing.

Alec squeezed me comfortingly—although I couldn't find any comfort from him, maybe someone else. I was grateful that he tried, though—but hearing his voice, it would only be repeating the threat to me over and over.

I was shivering from the cold outside and the chilly drafts that blew through here, I was trembling from the fear and terror that was strangling me, ironically, like a noose.

The room went silent once more—the bloody threats on the walls choked everyone into a noiseless, shocked stupor. My body ached for Edward—I needed his arms around me.

But even in a situation like this, it would raise questions if he did so. "Get her out of here." Edward ordered sharply to Alec. He nodded and tried to manoeuvre me out of the room. I followed blindly, stumbling over my own feet.

"Let me down," I demanded breathlessly, falling to my knees outside the bathroom and onto the cold linoleum of the hallway. Alec guided me to the floor and sat down with me, leaning our backs against the wall. My entire body shook with each sob and whimper.

Through the wall, I could hear their furious debate—Edward's voice was the highest, strangled and panicked. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them, fisting my hands into my hair. "Shh, it's okay, Bella." He soothed, rubbing my back.

It was a sweet gesture but it didn't feel right.

"—IF WE WERE UP _HERE_, WHEN I SAID I _SAW _SOMETHING, WE WOULDN'T BE STANDING HERE WITH A GIRL'S DEATH THREAT ON THE WALL!" Edward raged from inside.

I covered my ears. The words 'death' and 'threat' ate at me like insects. I shook my head tying to dispel the images of blood, blood and more blood—everywhere.

The person who did it, was in a rush—they had used the fire alarm as a decoy, obviously. They weren't wasting time, they knew they could get caught.

I noticed the messiness of their work—the blood spattered against the floor as well, the writing was messy and almost ineligible.

They also had to know or know of me—to send me death threats. I shuddered again. They also had to be in close range. They must have been loitering outside the school until lunch began when everyone was in the cafeteria—well, mostly everyone. If it was genuine, and not just a sick joke to scare the life out of me, someone wanted me dead. They wanted me dead, and they were going to enjoy killing me. 'After she's fucked, she's dead.' I went over in my head.

After she's fucked?

I sobbed louder, terrified. It sounded like a double threat—if they were going to kill me, they were going to everything else they could, too.

Rape first. I suddenly didn't want anyone to touch me.

Alec tried to put a comforting hand on my shoulder but I just flinched away, wailing. "Don't touch me!" I scooted farther along the wall, clambering to get away. It made me physically ill. I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. Edward walked out then to check on me.

I guess I could trust someone. He looked down at us both. He took in my scared posture, still trying to move away from Alec.

He blanched. "What were you doing?" he demanded. "Nothing. One minute she's fine, then the next she starts crying again and pushes me away. She's freaking out."

I didn't look up, I just sat there with my head on my knees, my eyes blurry with tears. "Go find the officers out in the hall where the lockers were, tell him to come in here."

He said to Alec.

I heard him get to his feet and leave down the hall. Edward sat down next to me.

"Bella," he whispered, I lavished in the sound of his voice. I raised my head to look at him. He frowned, a sad grimace covering his usually beautiful face. He wiped some of the tears away with his thumb. " I won't let it happen." He said in a hard, sure voice. "What about when you're not with me?" I whispered.

"What will happen then? You can't be seen with me all the time." I said in a hushed, hoarse voice.

"They'll get to me. They said they will. They'll get to me, then they'll _fuck_ me...then they'll _kill_ me," I choked out.

His face tightened, a flash of pure fury appeared in his eyes. Blazing, outraged, ferocious wrath.

"Over my dead body." He whispered back. And the tone of his voice told me he wasn't lying, nor was he using a figure of speech. He was telling the goddamned truth. "I'm going to find out who they are." I shook my head. "What if they're dangerous?" He stared at me incredulously.

"Don't you _dare_ even think about worrying about me." He ordered, hastily glancing around before taking my face in his hands.

"I will _not_ allow you to be alone." He promised. I had no other choice but to believe him. "You need to help me out, though." He stressed. I nodded. His hands held my face firmly, his thumb stroking my cheek and catching another tear as it fell. "You need to look out for yourself, as well." He whispered. "Don't do anything reckless." He said.

"Okay," I nodded, sniffling. The door to the girl's bathroom squeaked open. His hands dropped but he still stared at me.

"Do you want me to call your father?" he offered in a soft, teacher-like tone. I smiled weakly and shook my head.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should go home?" he asked, shrugging, looking totally helpless. Which is exactly how he probably felt.

Mr. Greene and Miss. Cullen stood before us then, looking queasy and concerned. Edward got to his feet and conversed quietly with them as I sat still on the floor behind him, arms wrapped around my knees. I watched them discuss in muted voices what to do next—what to do with me. I bit my lip and took a deep, steadying breath.

Two policemen in leather jackets came around the corner, Miss. Cullen told Alec to go to class. He nodded vehemently before leaving, casting one last worried glance at me. I was rigid all over—my body ached, my head ached and my stomach wasn't at it's strongest point. I managed to get to my feet while Edward's back was turned.

"I want to go home." I stated. I _really_ didn't want to stay here. But then, I also wanted to be with Edward. I was torn between the two.

Fuck.

They turned their attention to me then and Mr. Greene spoke, cutting Edward off who was about to agree. "I'm sorry, Bella, but the police will need to take a statement." My face fell and I thought I was going to break down crying again.

"But, everything they need to know is in there!" I protested weakly. He sighed and his brow furrowed. "I'm sorry, Miss. Swan, but they want to speak with you." He explained. I scoffed, crossing my arms miserably then pacing the length of the hall.

"She's scared, she probably can't even recall much. The shock is wearing off and she's going to pieces." Edward hissed. "He's right, there's nothing more she can tell them that they can't already see. If they need more information, they can talk to her tomorrow; her father is the chief, correct?" Alice Cullen piped in softly.

He sighed, exasperated and out-numbered. "Alright then," he muttered then raised his voice to talk to me.

"You're excused, Miss. Swan." He called down to where I paced. I froze then felt a warm relief flood over me.

I walked up to where they stood in a tense bubble outside the bathroom. Someone walked out, a policeman, someone Charlie probably worked with. He had gloves on his hands, holding a camera. I averted my gaze, careful not to peer into the tiled room where I was now terrified to enter.

"We need to ask some questions. Who was it that found this?" he asked, glancing at everyone before his eyes landed on me.

I nodded in resignation. Looks like I wasn't going home any time soon. I walked off with the deputy, we stopped outside the cafeteria doors.

He asked me what happened—typical, standard question. I told him about my locker, then running to the bathroom because I felt like I was going to be sick. He nodded and scrawled it all down in his note pad. I sighed and rubbed my forehead, it hurt even more than before.

"Do you know anyone who would want to threaten you?" he asked, glancing up at me. That thought didn't occur to me, but who would want me dead? Who had I wronged in such a great manner to make them want to kill me? "Like who, though?" I asked, at a complete loss. He shrugged then stared blankly at the wall, thinking.

"Maybe an ex?" he suggested. My mind froze, stumbling. "—or someone you may have had a disagreement—" "What?" I asked, cutting him off.

"An ex?" I repeated. He nodded and shrugged. I bit my lip and shook my head. "No, I mean, that can't possibly..." I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"I...don't know if he would but...My ex-boyfriend, Jacob Black..." I shrugged, swallowing loudly as he stared, waiting for an answer.

"We had a fight and...he hasn't been at school since." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't know who else there is." I whispered.

He nodded and smiled weakly. "Thank you for your time, Miss. Swan." He murmured before reaching his hand out to gently pat me on the shoulder.

I flinched but he didn't notice. I sucked in a shaky breath...gulping as I watched him saunter back to his partner. They spoke quietly with each other, exchanging notes.

I ran my hands through my hair. After the initial questioning, they came back and forth between the scene and me, asking me extra things they may have forgotten before. I waited painfully through it all—the last bell of the day rang, this part of the school had been taped off, as had my locker and the other vandalised lockers.

I kept shifting my weight, my legs tired from standing for so long. The sun outside was getting more dim and I was yearning for a safe and comfortable atmosphere.

I didn't feel safe here, I wondered if I ever would again. I was staring off into the distance...when I felt a hand on my shoulder—gentle but business-like.

I didn't flinch, I didn't even have to look up, I could sense who it was. "It's alright for you to go home now," he murmured, squeezing my shoulder before releasing it. How badly did I want him to hold me right at that moment? I couldn't even put it into words. I nodded vacantly and started to the exits, he followed beside me, his jacket on.

I hadn't realised he had it until I turned to face him once we were outside in the chilly air. Sunset was approaching, Charlie wouldn't be home until nine, he told me earlier that day. I sighed unhappily. I would be home alone for a couple of hours. Such a short time, yet so long in my eyes. "Bella, I don't want you to be alone." Edward whispered in my ear, suddenly sounding desperate. I mirrored his panic. "I don't want to be alone, either." I murmured. He nodded. "Follow my car then." He said, turning away.

I nodded without question or argument. I bent to his will so easily. My mind was numb and used up. I couldn't handle the stress that fighting ensued. I hauled myself into the truck cab, waiting for Edward to pull out so I could follow. We turned onto the highway, motoring down the opposite way from my house. I wondered where he was taking me exactly. I assumed he was leading me to his home, although I couldn't be sure. That is, until I saw the big white house loom up from behind a throng of trees. I gaped, wide-eyed.

"Jesus," I muttered, staring out the windshield. It was beautiful and I puzzled detachedly how he could afford such a house on his teacher's salary.

I stopped the car behind his, pulling the key out of the ignition and falling into step beside him as he made his way up the porch. He unlocked the door, pulled the key out and opened it for me, motioning me inside with his hand. I obliged, wiping my feet on the doormat, afraid I would defile the floor with my muddy shoes.

"Should I take these off?" I wondered aloud.

"Sure," he said, dropping his keys in a bowl on a coffee table before closing the door and re-locking it behind him.

I pulled my shoes and socks off then walked a little further into the cavernous living room.

I spun around in a small circle, taking in the magnificence and sheer enormity of the house.

My eyes landed back on him. He stood with his hands behind his back, a frown on his face as he leaned against the door.

I stared at him for a moment before he closed the distance between us in one, easy stride. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, burying his face in my hair.

I sighed in content. We didn't speak, we didn't say anything. We just held each other, drinking in the moment before it had to end. He pulled back to look at my face, brushing his finger tips over my cheekbone. I closed my eyes, it has never felt so good to have him hold me, to touch me and to look at me like I was the only person in the world.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I asked, he looked taken aback. "Yes, I'll show you where it is." He said. "I want to clean myself up." I explained. He shook his head.

"You look perfect." He whispered but led me upstairs anyway. He walked me down a hall way and into a plush bedroom that had an ensuite bathroom attached to it, the furnishings perfectly sophisticated and modern. What was he loaded, or something? I followed him past the bed that was most likely his and into the bathroom.

I stopped in front of the mirror, splashing some water over my face and stripping my damp jacket off, hanging it over the towel rack.

I sighed at my face in the mirror then shuffled out into the bedroom where Edward was sitting on the foot of the bed, his eyes glued to the floor, his hands clasped tightly in front of him.

I stood before him. He stood up. I took his hands in mine, squeezing them gently and pulling them around my back. He pulled me to his chest and I whispered against his now-dry shirt.

"I need you."

He sighed shakily.

"Bella...after today..." I looked up and he was shaking his head.

I reached my hand up to his neck, pulling his face down to mine.

Our lips met and with a hungry gasp, my tongue plunged into his mouth—perfectly routine. He tried in vain to push me off—gently. He was making me take steps back. I turned us around and pushed him back so he hit the wall. He sucked in a breath and closed his eyes as I kissed down his chest.

I unbuttoned his shirt, ripping it open and kissing up and down his toned, muscular body. I was going to combust in a fiery torch.

I pulled his shirt down his arms, letting it fall to the floor. He turned us around then and pushed my shoulders into the wall instead.

My hands moved swiftly—unfastening his belt, the button then the zipper, simultaneously. His hands ghosted down my arms, to my elbows, over my waist and to my hips.

He unbuttoned my blouse—needing no consent from me, I was the one initiating the undressing, not him. Our breathing was heavy and hot against my skin.

My face was flushed and my heart was beating faster than ever before—like I was competing in a marathon. It was a good analogy, I supposed. This _would_ be a marathon, at least that's what it's going to feel like tomorrow. But that didn't matter at the moment.

My mind was occupied—occupied with more important, pressing issues. It was finally happening. I was finally getting Edward, all of him. He was mine and I was his. Unconditionally and irrevocably. I shrugged out of my blouse, letting the soft, blue cotton fabric fall to the floor with his shirt.

As I pressed my lips to his again, he pressed me closer to the wall, his hands pressing against it on either side of my head. Our tongues slid alongside one another, his breath filling my mouth and making me moan. I arched my back off the wall, needing for him to keep going with this.

His hands moved to my hips, then the back of my thighs, hoisting me up like I weighed nothing.

My back was still pinned against the wall, yet my legs were wrapped around his hips. He pulled us away then, taking me to the bed and laying me down on the soft, golden comforter.

He unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans while I lay there, vulnerable and nervous. He did it slowly and gently, as if one wrong move would shatter me into a dozen pieces.

He gripped the waist band of my jeans, pulling them down my legs and off my feet, throwing them across the floor. I sat up, pushing his jeans down to reveal his boxers.

He leaned down over me, his hands grasping my waist, and pushing me further up the bed. Our eyes were dazed and hungry, roaming over the other's body. I bit my lip to stifle another moan as his lips met mine again. I felt his arms around me, unclasping my bra and pulling the straps off my shoulders.

I couldn't help but moan when he kissed down my chest, between my breasts and down my stomach.

My fingers combed through his hair as he made his way down my body, kissing and licking in a way that made me pant with desire. I forgot about everything then, about what happened at school that day, the death threats, the blood, the person I saw through the window, even my own name.

His fingers brushed over the fabric of my underwear that concealed my moist centre. I bit my lip as he hooked his fingers under the cotton and started slowly revealing my most private possession. I blushed deeply as he glanced up at me. He smiled—seeming to like what he saw.

He crawled up the bed then, dragging his tongue back up my naked body like a cat lapping milk.

I reached for the waist band of his boxers, feeling the bulge between his legs, tugging them down so we were now both naked on the bed. I breathed in the scent of his bare skin. He reached over me to the draw beside his bed, producing a condom which he swiftly applied. He then gradually lowered his body over me and I could feel his throbbing erection between my thighs. I breathed in shakily. Too late to turn back now. "Edward," I groaned as he buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"Now. Do it. Please," I begged in a breathless voice. He was breathing just as hard as me. I arched my back off the bed, to help him.

With a bone quivering growl, he slowly found my entrance, sliding into me. I gasped and he halted his movements.

"Keep. Going." I demanded, my voice barely audible. I let out a dull moan, his body shuddered in response. "Bella," he breathed out.

"Fuck," he groaned, our lips came together, muting our animal-ish noises. He gently thrust into me. "Oh god," I whispered. "Edward," I moaned in pleasure.

"Faster," I pleaded. "It will hurt," he warned. "Faster," I repeated, not caring. He quickened his pace, and it _did_ hurt.

The movement of our bodies heated up my skin—pushing me to the point of pure bliss. I sucked in a breath, my entire body tightening.

He groaned and panted, losing himself in me before burying his face in my hair, kissing my neck.

We breathed hard and fast for a few moments. I licked my lips, my hands loosened their tight hold on his waist.

My fingers had dug into his skin—but instead of switching off because of the pain, it seemed to add to the experience.

I smoothed my hands over his body. His arms snaked around my waist as he breathed huffs of air into my neck. He rolled us over so I was resting on his chest. I heaved out a blissful sigh. "I love you." He said, tucking my mess of a hair behind my ear. I blushed, kissing him on the lips.

"I love you too..." I grinned. "Mr. Cullen."

**Phew! That took a while to finish. **

**Um, cold shower anyone?**

***fans all beg* Yess please!!**

**If I had the chance to bed Edward Cullen, I wouldn't remember if I had been in a fucking plane crash that day.**

**This is dedicated to all you more mature readers out there, who can handle the smut ;)**

**LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	16. In his eyes

**Prepare to be spoiled!**

**I am SO good to you guys. **

**Here it is...*drum roll*....Edward's POV!!**

One can only deny themselves for so long.

Sooner or later, it catches up to them.

It's not like you ever plan it.

You can refuse your own feelings, instead of letting them take you. If it proves too hard to ignore them, then you can at the very most—acknowledge that they exist.

When you cannot possibly imagine a world or lifetime where you can act on those feelings, those intense, consuming emotions, you find whatever outlet you can to drown them—to drown the emptiness.

Or maybe temporarily fill the void.

_I booked it down the highway—speeding flagrantly until I could see no more cars surrounding me. My heightened, adrenaline flooded senses kept me alert and on edge. Better than the hazy lust that clouded my mind and kept me from rational thinking. _

_That kiss. I groaned as I thought about it. When Bella—my student—helped me with the drum kit, we had been working together in the dimly lit Drama room. The atmosphere was crackling with tension—on my part, anyway, I doubted she was even aware of it like I was. _

_I was highly aware of everything—of her. I had held her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over her bruised knuckles. _

_I slowly, reluctantly let my grip loosen—letting her hand fall to her side. Only it didn't fall, it only moved toward me further. _

_My breathing hitched—what was she doing? I didn't even have time to raise my walls, blocking my sane mind from being assaulted by her. _

_It was too late, I had thought at the time. She's going to notice I pulled her closer before I actually tried to push her away. _

_My hands moved to her shoulders—not intending to but doing it without any volition from me—and grasped the tops of her arms, pressing her closer for a moment before I could fully gauge what was happening and my brain snapped back to reality. The hurt in her eyes—the sting of rejection—it shouldn't affect me, but I'd be insane to try to believe that it didn't. _

_It did—too much. I had asked myself, "What the fuck just happened?" It was a stupid question—one that just blurted from my mouth—my brain filter wasn't functioning properly. _

_I knew the answer—Bella Swan had just kissed me. She had kissed me, out of reflex, I had kissed her back. The worst part? I had liked it. I had enjoyed it. I had wanted it. I had loved it. _

_But there was the other issue to factor in. I was her teacher. I should be put away for even considering... I breathed in deeply, trying to dispel those thoughts. What perplexed me was that she initiated the kiss, although I'm fairly sure I may have sooner or later. I batted my heels of my palms against the steering wheel. "Fuck!" I roared, huffing. _

_"You stupid, fucking..." I groaned. _

_The proper questions to ask myself? How could I let that happen? _

_After weeks of meticulous self-control? _

_Where was my control? Shot straight to fucking hell. Thats where it was. _

_Why did I enjoy it so much? I stopped hitting the steering wheel and calmed down for a moment—thinking about the answer to this one. _

_I breathed heavily, remembering my first day at Forks High. My eyes fell on her—locking with those warm, chocolate eyes—deep with secrets, innocence and silent torment. I didn't realise what was happening to me until today. I had already established that I felt myself attracted to her—but she was too young. _

_That was alright to keep locked away in the deep recesses of my mind. I would grow out of it with time, anyway, once I realised she was just as normal as the other girls. But that was just it. She was far from the other girls—she was one hundred percent different. Young women like her only come along once in a million years. _

_She was a unique, delicate, intelligent being. I pulled into my driveway, stopping outside the house and stewing in quiet loathe. _

_How was it that just a young, relatively harmless teenage girl could hurl me into a whirlwind of mental turmoil. As if my attraction wasn't enough, she had to feel the same way. My emotional ramblings had distracted me from noticing a familiar car in my driveway. I blinked, surprised. Then that surprise turned to vague annoyance as I realised who it belonged to. _

_I stepped out of my car and slowly ascended the porch steps. Upon opening my front door I was met with my uninvited visitor. _

_"Hey there, baby." She said, going for an alluring, seductive tone. I sighed. "What are you doing here, Tanya?" She pouted her lips and flipped her strawberry blonde hair behind her shoulder. She stepped closer to me and ran her finger along my jaw line. "I've missed you," she said, biting her lip and frowning. _

_"You're the one that left." I said, turning away. She grabbed my hand. "Edward, come on. _

_It was college, I was a...free spirit... I was afraid to get tied down." She explained, investing all her energy into a forlorn expression. I raised an eyebrow. "Right," I said, shuffling off to the kitchen. I dropped my keys on the counter, leaning my hands up against the granite. _

_"Then if that's the case, what do you want from me?" I pressed. She came up behind me, her heels clicking on the wooden floor boards. Her hands came around me then, snaking around my torso. I sighed and shook my head. "That's all you seem to want from me." I said flatly, turning around to face her. _

_"Why so miserable, Edward?" she asked worriedly, still keeping a smirk on her face. I rolled my eyes. "Nothing," I shrugged. She chuckled and linked her arms around my neck. _

_"Well, I can make you forget all of that." She smiled, her blue eyes twinkling—how I yearned for those bottomless pools of brown. _

_I mentally slapped myself. Those are exactly the thoughts that are going to get me sent to jail. _

_I repeated that sentence over and over in my head while Tanya stared at me, eyes searching my face. She cocked her head to the side, a wicked smile playing on her lips. My eyes fell to the floor. "You aren't...involved with...someone else, are you?" she asked timidly, narrowing her eyes at me. _

_"No," I sighed. She frowned, concentrating. She wasn't as intuitive as she gave herself credit for, she relented and then laughed. _

_"Well, that's good." She grinned. My face didn't change. I couldn't find it in me to muster a smile, even a fake one. _

_"How did you get in here?" I asked. Her hands slid down from my shoulders to my chest, then down to my jeans. I needed to fill the void—the space that was widening each and every day within me. Because of her—because of Bella. So I closed my eyes in resignation and let her do what she did best. _

_"You left your door unlocked, silly." She explained, pulling my belt out of my jeans. I opened my eyes to watch her lean close to me. _

_I obliged—this is the price to pay. It wasn't like Tanya wasn't pretty, she was. But she still wasn't...mine. Even if she wanted to be, she would never be mine, because I didn't want her that way. She wasn't beautiful to me, not in the way that _she_ was. Tanya and I had met in college back where I used to live in Vermont. _

_She was studying medicine, and I, secondary teaching. Back then, it was all booze, girls and school. _

_That was all my life entailed. _

_It had taken me a while to realise that it was no longer as fulfilling as I had once thought. _

_Tanya was no longer the lovely, vivacious woman I had fallen for—our relationship had just turned into an emotionless sex frenzy. _

_There were no more feelings involved in it. So I cut her loose once we went our separate ways—she left to be a pre-med student in Seattle, and I moved here to the isolated town of Forks. She must have called my parents and asked where I lived—I distinctly remember _not_ giving her my number or home address after graduation. _

_However, Carlisle and Esme could do what they want when it involved their property—I was, after all, living in their house. _

_She smelled of vanilla perfume—sickly sweet. She pulled her sweater off, throwing it over her shoulder before pulling my face down to hers. _

_I reluctantly kissed her back. How else was I going to get over this ridiculous infatuation? This _school yard_ crush. _My God, _I thought to myself. _

_That's what I had lowered myself to. I put more effort into it—needing to quash the images, the fantasies, the feelings that were driving me insane with need for another girl. I pulled her up into my arms, turning us around so she sat on the kitchen counter. She hiked her skirt up her thighs, revealing to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. _

_It was crude, it was kind of slutty—It was Tanya. It was also very forced—being with her. I wouldn't classify it as making love. It was a quickie, one that left me feeling used and guilty. _

_It hadn't even done the job I wished it had. The entire time—I wasn't thinking about Tanya at all. _

_I sent her on her way, after that humiliatingly painful display of what she thought was 'amazing'. _

_I sighed dejectedly and went to drown my sorrows with a glass of bourbon. _

_I needed to numb it all. _

_~~~___~~~_

_Being here, at the game—it was so nostalgic. It brought my memories back—coming to college games. I had to admit, the boys here had talent. _

_I assumed they were in line for some scholarships after they graduated. I stood on the side lines, not wanting to go and sit on the bleachers where I knew _she_ would be. I kept my distance and stayed in the shadows of the grandstands. The whistle blew and it was halftime. I watched the Spartans crowd around the bench and discuss strategy with Coach Clapp. _

_I sighed, letting my eyes wander. And of course the encountered Bella. _

_She was pacing under the bleachers, a fair length away, waiting in the dark. _

_I frowned to myself. What was she doing? Closer to where I stood, a boy, his name was Jacob, I think, stumbled in her direction, a bottle of clear liquid in his hand—vodka. I seethed quietly. There was no need for me to get involved. It was absolutely _none_ of my business. _

_I had no right to interfere in her personal matters. That didn't stop me from secretly hating the boy. _

_It was childish, yes. But I couldn't control it, and therefore felt it was beyond me to even attempt to. _

_So I just glared at the back of his head and turned my attention away. _

_For once in my life, I needed to stop thinking about the girl—as if she was the only girl in the world. As if she was _my _girl. _

_Because she wouldn't and never will be. That conclusion drew me into a dark pit of anger. I wasn't just disappointed that it would never occur. _

_I was angry about it. I was also angry at the rest of the world. I was angry at myself. And I was angry at Bella. I was furious at her for being able to control my emotions better than I could myself. Which was just fucked up. That moment we shared in the janitor's closet. She thought I was repulsed by her. Just the look on her face had almost crushed me. _

_I was about to admit it—to confess that I wasn't strong enough and to kneel before her to take whatever curses she wanted to dish out. _

_With that rage boiling up inside me—it was almost impossible to hear anything around me. I was surprised I heard her voice. _

_But something inside my mind told me that no matter how soft or quiet, no matter how far away, I would always hear it. _

_My ears focussed on the sound. But I couldn't see her. I squinted off into the distance where I thought I saw her standing before. _

_It was dark under the bleachers. I could just vaguely make out a lump on the ground. My eyes widened and before I knew it, I was running. "Jake, get your hands off me!" she ordered in a frightened hiss. I heard a faint slapping noise before whoever was with her spoke. "Fuck you, Bella!" he growled. _

_I repelled myself forward, coming up behind the struggle. I saw his hands move up her shirt, he leaned down and she wailed, kicking her legs. I thought my previous rage was bad. The seething loathe, the fiery anger that seeped out from somewhere deep inside me was purely frightening. _

_I didn't have time to ponder this, though. The words escaped my mouth before I knew what I was saying. _

_"Hey!" I yelled, closing in on them. "Get the fuck off her!" I snarled, before my hands landed on his back—grasping his shirt and wrenching him sideways off of Bella. She was shaking and from the dim light, she looked hurt. I helped her to her feet and led her away. _

_So much for meticulous self-control. _

_Once I had her sat down in front of me, I worked to keep my cool. _

_But I could still feel the anger emanating from every bone in my body—that fierce yearning to annihilate anyone who hurt her. Something I had never experienced before. I mean, sure, it's a built in instinct to protect—men are born with that gene to take care for their women. _

_Even I had that feeling, it was normal. This however, was not. It was so ferocious and powerful, just like every other emotion she brought out in me. We bickered for a few moments before she straight out said, "What is your_ problem?_" I had the answer. _

_I had it and I used it. "You!" I barked loudly, watching her flinch—it was like a small wound in my chest. Someone pricking me with a pin over and over, it stung and it kept going. "You are my problem! I _hate _you!" Every word I said was mostly true. _

_I hated her for doing this to me. Why did I have to lose myself to her? _

_Why couldn't it have been someone else, someone I could actually be with? _

_Was I being punished? I watched with sickening pain as her face fell and the light drained from her eyes. _

_She looked like someone had torn her heart out of her chest. I was still too angry to control myself. _

_"Why?" she shrieked. I sucked in a large breath before releasing the full force of my fury in one life-changing sentence. "_For making me love you so much!"_ I confessed. _

_The anger dulled extremely fast, leaving me relieved and also horrified that I had actually said the words out loud. _

_From there...it was over. There was no more middle ground—that didn't exist. Either I was with Bella or I wasn't. I couldn't bear the thought of her moving away, of finding love with someone else, someone like Jacob Black. I wanted her, all to myself. And she wanted me. _

_Which by anyone's standards, was a miracle. _

My mind came back to the present.

Bella lay peacefully in my arms after having had the most amazing, incredible experience of my life. I had taken her virginity in a passionate moment—one that we had both been undeniably craving for over a month.

Her scent, her skin, her beautiful face and hair, the way our bodies felt while they moved together—the feeling couldn't be described. Her warm body pressed against mine, her heart beat pumping steadily against my chest.

Her fingers trailed up and down my stomach.

I couldn't tear my gaze from her, and her naked, beautiful form. It was so perfect, so wonderfully perfect that I was afraid she was too good to be true. She wrapped one of her legs around mine, and sighed in content.

The room was dark except from the blue-ish moonlight filtering in through the large windows on the right side of the room.

I was honoured that Bella had chosen me to be with for the first time. I ground my teeth at the thought of someone else taking her—the way I had just done.

It brought back the fierce protective instinct. Not to mention the jealousy. But our quiet piece of heaven couldn't last for long. Bella was due at home any moment now—and then the memories from today would come to the fore. The writing on the wall.

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes, running my fingers up and down Bella's bare back—just to assure myself she was safe with me. She hummed softly into my skin and I smiled, relaxing slightly. Someone was out to hurt Bella. Possibly someone that she knew—more than likely someone associated with a gang or mob. It made me sick and angry to think about—but it was necessary.

If I was going to work this out, which I needed to in order to keep Bella out of harm's way. I pictured Bella standing alone in a dark alley—a gang of men cornering her out in the night. Bella up against a group of men?

It made me shudder.

Who in the world would write it in blood on the bathroom wall? It was sick, it was fucked up.

I hoped that they would be found and ripped apart. I could partially rest easy knowing that Bella lived with the Chief of Police here in Forks—complete with a gun on hand. I may have to invest in some pepper spray for her to carry around. "Edward?" Bella murmured. I looked down, brushing her hair away from her blushing face.

I smiled—how can someone like me get so lucky? "I need to go home," she sighed, pouting. I chuckled, although I wasn't that thrilled about her leaving, either.

"I don't want you to go, either." I told her. She grinned, pulling herself closer to me. She reached my face, my hand went to cup her cheek.

"You're so beautiful." I whispered, unable to help myself. "So are you." She blurted out. I chuckled. I shook my head, staring into her eyes.

She blushed a striking pink, ducking her head. I pulled her chin up to look into her eyes before pulling her lips down to mine.

"We should get you home," I murmured against her lips, rolling us over so I was hovering above her. If I ever wanted to leave, I had to have an easy escape. If I stayed on my back, she'd be able to keep me hostage for a very long time. Her hands roamed up my body and I was already breathing hard—like I was nervous.

Nobody had ever had that effect on me. Not even close. Being with Bella had blown away any memory of pleasure I had with Tanya.

She was...well, as sad as it is, she was nothing to me. It was also easy to admit that she barely was in the first place—just something that happened along in my bigger journey, a necessary obstacle, to say the least. She finally let me break free. I kneeled above her then made a move to get off the bed.

As I stood and pulled my pants on, her hands snaked around my waist—warm and inviting. I sighed as she raised goose bumps on my arms and neck. I felt her lips against my back, my shoulder—it must have been hard for her to reach that far. She moved to my side then stood in front of me.

"You'll be the death of me," I murmured huskily as she put her hands on my hips. She smiled devilishly before pausing her movements and flitting away from me to retrieve her strewn clothing. I shook my head, attempting to clear that cloudy haze that consumed me whenever I was with her.

I stood there waiting for her to get dressed.

~~~___~~~

Paper work. It was the devil's work. I sighed as I read over a student's essay.

It wasn't that she got it wrong—more that she lacked depth. It was a very simple, general over view. I bit my lip, agonising over a pass or fail when I voice came over the intercom.

"Could you accompany me in my office, Mr. Cullen?" the voice droned through the speaker.

My ears pricked and I stood up. As I opened the door, I was greeted with the best face in the world.

I couldn't help my smile. "I need to go to the office, I'll be back soon. Just wait for me?" I grinned. She nodded and smiled stepping into my office and closing the door.

I sighed and walked off determinedly to speak with the headmaster. I had no idea what it was about, though. "Edward, take a seat." He greeted professionally as I entered the room. I noticed my sister sitting in the other seat opposite his desk. "What is this about?" I enquired cautiously as I sat down in the grey chair.

"The police have news about the incident that happened a few days ago." Alice told me, leaning over the arm of her chair.

I frowned and turned my attention to Mr. Green immediately. "What news?" I asked warily. He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose before leaning his hand against the back of his chair. "There have been some strange incidents going on down at La Push, near the Quileute school." He began.

I frowned. "What kind of incidents?" I pressed. He shook his head, looking stressed and gaunt. "They have found evidence of some odd, satanic rituals... dead animals everywhere, they were nailed to crucifixes. There was blood, a lot of it." I gulped. "What does this mean then? Is Miss. Swan going to be given protection or something?" I queried.

"We don't know what it means at this stage, but we have to be vigilant. Not just with Isabella, but with the entire school." He said, leaning over his desk to stare me in the eyes.

I nodded. "Of course," I agreed. "Do they have any leads as to who might be doing it?" I hedged, my hands clenching tightly around the arms of my chair.

He rubbed his forehead. "They're checking out the high school there, but other than that, they have nothing else to go on. All of the kids and their parents are all respected folk. It'll be hard to try to charge them with anything before they have thorough evidence."

I sighed.

"I just wanted to let everyone know privately. And since you were there, I thought it might be helpful to give you the heads up in case you notice anything, yourselves." I nodded stiffly, smiled tightly at Alice and stood up, ghosting out the door.

I ran my hands through my hair as I stormed back to my office—I was already aching to see Bella again.

I didn't care how needy I had become—she was like air to my lungs, what kept my heart beating.

Before I even made the turn down the corridor, Bella appeared in front of me—but something was wrong.

My heart beat stopped for a moment, but then I fully gauged her expression.

She was...angry? She came stalking up to me, vengeance written all over her features. I readied myself, intending to fully beat the crap out of who was responsible.

What left her mouth froze me in place.

"I hate you!" She screeched. I couldn't breathe.

**:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O**

**MWHAHAHAHA!**

**Love me, hate me, whatever, you know you're masochists if you like this story. **

**But never frett, everything will be explained. :)**

**Reviews are better than jealous Edward...well, sort of.**

***heavy panting* ;)**


	17. Scared me to death

**Here it is, everything explained, hope you enjoy :)**

**Now I have to get back to watching the 3rd New Moon Trailer...*watch, replay, watch, replay, watch, replay* Addicted? Psshh, whatever. *watch, replay...**

I was so happy, so blissfully fucking happy.

I grinned like an idiot the whole ride home. Edward drove his car behind mine and circled the block until he saw Charlie's cruiser show up. I had watched from the window, shaking my head whenever he would peer through the curtains.

I wore the expression, 'No, Edward, I'm _not_ dead.'

I left the window once Charlie came home.

I got to the kitchen and started on dinner. Charlie slumped in his chair at the table—looking positively famished. I was all perky and cheerful. He raised an eyebrow but shook it off. I grinned while I handed him his plate.

"How was school, sweet heart?"

I dropped the plate, sending it scattering across the floor. I jumped, already trembling.

I had forgotten all my worries when I was with Edward. Now I had to come back to reality and face the death threat I had received mere hours ago.

"There's something I need to tell you," I choked out in a shaky voice. Charlie looked shocked, staring at me with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open.

"Bells, you okay?" he asked cautiously, standing up and taking my arm. "What's wrong?" I looked up into his eyes. "I trust you haven't been to the station?" I asked evasively. He shook his head, frowning. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, kneeling down to pick up the mess I had made. I was breathing heavily, wiping under my eyes.

The grief and terror had gripped me so tightly and so suddenly. I must have looked purely insane in my father's eyes.

"Let me do that, honey. Tell me what's going on." He said in a soft voice.

I ignored his offer and kept moving to pick up the broken porcelain.

"There was a fire drill at school," I started in a hoarse voice.

He knelt down beside me and helped me clean up. I sniffed. "We were outside for a while, over an hour or so." I explained, leaving out no detail. Charlie would only grill me for it later on, may as well give him everything now so I could rest easy.

"When we got back inside, someone had been vandalising the lockers...with blood." I raised my eyes to Charlie's.

He had halted his movements and was now watching me intently. "Is that all?" he pressed. I shook my head, biting my lip.

"In blood?" he repeated, shaking his head. "There were words written in the blood across the lockers." I said. He turned his face to me. "What kind of threat?" his voice was low and even—cop-like. "A death threat." I elaborated in a small voice. He huffed out a deep breath.

"Jeeze," he said, scratching his head. "That's not all, Dad." He looked at me, frowning again.

"It isn't?" I shook my head. I sucked in a deep breath—it did nothing to calm me. I stood up to throw the shards of the broken plate in the bin. I leaned up against the counter where the sink was. "So, I got to my locker and...I unlocked it...and my books, they were covered in blood.

My whole locker had a layer of blood over it." Charlie paled. "Seriously?" I sighed.

"That's still not all." He stood up then.

"Just tell me, Bells, it's killing me." I rubbed my forehead then looked straight into his eyes as he stood before me. "I felt like I was going to be sick, so I ran to the girl's bathroom and...when I got inside, there was another threat, written in blood.

And there was a mannequin soaked in blood with a noose around it's neck." I spluttered out.

"I don't know what the hell these kids think they're pulling—" "The threat," I said slowly, cutting him off. "The threat was directed at one person in particular."

"Who?" he demanded. "Me." His face paled and I touched his arm to make sure he wasn't having a stroke. "Dad? Are you okay?" he glared at me.

"No, I am not okay! Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could have been there in minutes!" I shook my head. "I didn't want you to get upset, there were plenty of people there to care for me. And, well, you know now." I defended softly. He huffed, his face going a shade of pink. "What did it say?" he demanded. "It doesn't matter—"

"It _does_ matter, Bella. Please tell me, I'm going to find out from whoever was on duty anyway, so just tell me." I dropped my eyes to my feet.

"I can't remember _exactly _what it said, but... You will hear her screams, you will watch the light drain from her eyes, clean up the mess that is her corpse..." I shook my head. "Bella Swan, you're next, slut." I rehearsed with wet eyes then glanced up at Charlie.

"Oh, Bella." He said, pulling me into a tight hug.

"You don't need to worry about anything. I will take care of this, don't you fear." He reassured me.

I wasn't sure if it was for my benefit or more for his. Whatever his motives, it was certainly making me feel better. I couldn't have been luckier to get a father like mine. He let me go then, turning to grab the phone. I sighed, he's going to be up all night. I had lost my appetite so I went to bed without eating.

I pulled the covers closely around me—remembering to lock the front door before I came upstairs. I snuggled into my pillow and comforter, falling into an uneasy sleep.

Naturally, I dreamt about blood.

~~~___~~~

A few days had passed—I hadn't been with Edward again.

He had insisted that we wait for a while after the first time, knowing I would be sore.

I reluctantly agreed. I just needed to feel him again—feel that bliss, feel that he was all mine. He reassured me that we would try again soon. That reminder was what kept me going—the promise of more.

I tried not to show my 'sex face' at school—I was terrified that people could tell, which was incredibly daft of me, but still. I get a little paranoid. Better to be paranoid than caught out, right? As I made my way to school, I could see Charlie's cruiser a couple of cars behind me.

I rolled my eyes. God, he was taking it to extreme lengths today. He sped past the school entrance after I pulled into the parking lot.

I watched him go passed with an amused expression. Not much happens in Forks, yet, of course, since I came—_everything_ starts happening.

I sighed as I slung my bag over my shoulder, stepping out onto the wet blacktop before slamming the door of my truck. I glanced around the lot and found a familiar face.

"Alec," I greeted with a beaming smile. He reciprocated but the smile didn't reach his eyes. My face fell. "What's wrong?" I ventured, even though I had no business knowing.

He slung his bag over his shoulder, sighed and stared ahead. "Nothing," I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'm sure it's nothing." I said sarcastically.

"You can tell me, you know. I want to be here for you, since you were there for me." He smiled weakly at that, his eyes twinkling. He shrugged then.

"No offence, Bella. It's just...I don't know...angst...?" I couldn't help the laugh that burst out of my lips.

I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry," I quickly apologised as he stared down at me incredulously. "I didn't mean to laugh...but...angst?" I giggled. "Come on, Alec, even _I_ can lie better than that." He huffed and rolled his eyes as we made our way through the school entrance.

He paused then, turning to face me. I waited patiently—if he wanted to tell me, he would, if he didn't, so be it. I played with the hem of my shirt—fidgeting under his intense gaze. He frowned slightly, a sneer on his lips. "I had a friend," he began evasively, I raised an eyebrow.

"What about this friend?" I hedged, edging closer to listen. "They're an awesome friend but they lied to me..." My eyebrows slanted up into a concerned frown. His expression showed one of hurt—and another underlying emotion he was probably too embarrassed to show me. He shook his head.

"We were getting along fine, then she just had to go and...be a..." he broke off, searching for the right word. I frowned and put a hand on his arm. He sighed.

"It's okay, Alec. Did you like this girl?" I asked softly. He nodded reverently and I smiled apologetically. "Well, if she can't recognise how great you are, she's not worth any of your time." I said surely. He smiled back tightly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He agreed in a low, quiet voice.

"Thanks for helping me, Bella." I nodded. "Absolutely, any time. I hardly did anything, anyway." I smiled.

He smiled back—for real this time before leaning down to gather me up in a bear hug. I giggled.

His breath blew against my neck and I suddenly felt an uneasy feeling spread through me.

He let me down to my feet and beamed a smile. I shook the feeling off—I wasn't used to other people touching me. I sighed and then waved, heading off down the corridor to my locker—my _new_ locker, that is. This one was closer to Jessica Stanley—perfect. I bit my lip as I approached—her back was to me.

"Hey...Jessica," I said slowly—hesitantly. She turned to me with a sneer on her lips. "Oh, hi, Bella," she smiled.

I smiled back sheepishly, opening my locker with the new combination. "We have English today, right?" she queried.

I gnashed my teeth together before answering. "Yeah, I think so," I said indifferently. She sighed wistfully before resting her head against her locker. "I _love_ English this year," she said, grinning to herself. I raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Why's that?" I asked in a bored voice. Her glazed eyes focussed on me.

"You're kidding me, right?" she asked incredulously. "The teacher! Mr. Fuck me Cullen, ugh." I let a laugh escape from my lips.

"Thats an, uh, interesting...nick name." I told her. She grinned.

"Well, for god's sake, it suits him...yummy." I shook my head before taking off to first period.

~~~___~~~

At lunch I found myself all jittery—I couldn't wait to see Edward again. The suspense was killing me. I smiled to myself as I strolled casually down the hall towards his office. Before I even had my hand n the door knob, it opened, I jumped back—surprised.

"I need to go to the office, I'll be back soon. Just wait for me?" He smiled.

I nodded vigorously before stepping inside to wait for him. I almost groaned—more waiting.

I sighed and plopped myself down on the chair opposite his desk. I put my feet up on the table, reclining back. I sighed and put my hands behind my head, relaxing.

I changed positions—I couldn't stay still for too long. I had to move around—I was too excited. I sighed and stood up, scanning my eyes over Edwards desk in an attempt to occupy myself. I sat down in his chair and scooted up close, propping my elbows on the wood.

I held my face in my hands and stared around at everything. I fiddled with a pile of test papers when my fingers encountered something unexpected. I pulled my hand out to reveal an...engagement ring? I just frowned—staring at it for an immeasurable moment.

My mind was just saying to me: What. The. Fuck. I bit my lip, holding it under the light of the desk lamp.

It was beautiful—a gold band with an oval stone in the middle—it _looked_ real. I puzzled over why it was on Edward's desk.

Why would he have a ring? He wasn't going to give it to me...was he? I almost had a stroke at the thought of that.

No, that can't be it...can it? I shook my head—venturing into other alternatives. I simply could not work it out—that is, until someone walked in. My mouth dropped open at the sight of the woman before me. She had long blonde hair down to her waist, beautiful, sparkling green eyes, pale skin and rosy pink lips.

She was tall and statuesque. She was curvy and utterly magnificent looking. I was comparatively hideous.

I quickly dropped the ring in the middle of the desk and stared up at her. A smile spread across her face before she stepped closer to the desk.

"Um, I'm sorry, but...do you know where Edward Cullen is?" she asked with a high—tinkling voice. I gawked—was there anything about her that wasn't perfect?

And why was she looking for Edward? Jealousy—it hit me like a ton of bricks—lead bricks. I seethed quietly under the surface of my polite demeanour.

"He's in the headmaster's office, actually," I answered with a smile of my own. "Oh," she said, her smiled fading. She walked over to the desk then and slid her bag off her shoulder—what was it Gucci? I envied her—bitch. But then I shouldn't judge...right? Beautiful women have every right to be happy, too.

Eh.

Her eyes popped open then and before I realised what was going on, she snatched the ring off the desk and held it in her perfectly manicured fingers. She gasped delightedly. I stared—what the _fuck_ was going on?

"He _found_ it!" she rejoiced, grinning and sliding the ring on her finger.

How much I wanted to snap that finger. "Uh," I stuttered, not knowing what to say.

"I'm so relieved, I thought I'd lost it at his house." My eyes bugged open for a millisecond before I reigned in my mass scale rage. Carefully, I stood up.

"He'll be with you in a moment, excuse me." I stated numbly before fleeing that god awful woman's presence. I managed to get the door open before the tears came streaming down my face. _He was engaged!_ How could I have missed this?

How could I have been so blind? He wasn't in love with me, I was just a conquest for him to make, a girl he wanted to fuck then throw away. All those words, all those kisses and touches—we made love. It was all a lie. I stormed down the corridor, hoping to make it outside before he caught me.

Guess the Universe had it in for me, as always. He was stalking toward me, his face confused. He wouldn't be confused for much longer.

My anger reared it's head and burst through my walls of control. "I hate you!" I screeched. His eyes widened and I knew he knew I had found out.

I had found out about his lies—but it was all too late. I had already fallen in love with him. This hurt was beyond repair. He had damaged me for life. No-one can heal me, now. "What?" he choked out. "I. Hate. You." I seethed. But I knew it wasn't true. I didn't hate him. My stupid heart wouldn't let me. Fucking feelings.

I only hated that woman—the one he had chosen to marry, the one he had chosen over me. I also hated myself for being so stupid and blind. Now it was going to cost me.

A lot.

"Why?" he asked incredulously, stepping closer to me. I backed up.

"You're _engaged_?!" I hissed. He frowned. "_What?_" I nodded. "I know all about it now so don't even try lying to me, you bastard!" With that I ran off—not able to handle seeing his face anymore. I heard his footsteps behind me.

"Bella! Bella? Bella, please!" I didn't give him the time of day.

Instead, I made my way out, stumbling and crying to my truck, gunning the engine back home.

~~~___~~~

I lay in a heap on my bed, curled up—my shoes still on. I kicked them off and buried my sobbing face into my pillow. "How could he do this to me?" I whispered to myself.

How? There was no going back from this, I thought with loathe. This was the end of the line for me, and I knew it. The first love, my true love—down the fucking drain.

I wondered idly if I would ever get over it.

What I was feeling right now, told me, no, probably not. I hiccupped and wailed into the bed—heartbroken. It was ten times worse than when I thought he was going to dump me—at least then I knew he was only doing it for my sake, it was one hundred times worse than when he first rejected me, at least then I thought he didn't love me.

Now? The difference? I had given him everything of myself, he had told me he loved me over and over—I believed him. But it was just lies upon lies. They stripped away my sanity, ate at my heart and made me want to die. Truly poetic.

Half an hour had passed since I had gotten home. I snuggled up closer to my comforter when I heard a knock at the door down stairs. I glared at the wall and decided not to answer it. Whoever wanted to see Charlie, wasn't in luck, anyway.

"Bella!" I heard a faint call from outside. I pulled my pillow over my head and tried to ignore it.

"No, no, no!" I whispered, more tears falling and soaking my clothes and bed sheets.

I heard banging on the walls outside, I jumped. I heard a twig snapping and someone cursing.

I sat bolt upright in my bed. "Bella," Edward sighed, his face appearing at my window.

I sucked in a breath. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I hissed incredulously.

"Get out of my house!" I ordered in a slightly louder tone. He managed to crawl through the window then, pulling his leg over the sill. I stood up beside my bed. "Are you deaf? I said get out!" He just stood there, a relieved expression on his face.

"Get out, get out, get _out!_" I ordered, pointing to the door. "Bella," he sighed, stepping closer.

"No!" I screamed as he brought his arms to me. "Get off!" I demanded weakly, grasping the fabric of his jacket.

I beat my fists against his chest. "Get out, please!" I shrieked. I finally found the strength to push him away. I went for the door—going to open it, but he caught my wrists and pinned me against the wood. I gasped. "Let me go!" I screeched, his green eyes blazed with concentration and seriousness.

"Bella," he whispered. His left hand held both of my wrists against the door above my head, his right hand came down to my chin.

"I. Am. Not. Engaged." He stressed. "That woman in my office—that was my sister, Rosalie." He explained.

Relief. Happiness. Euphoria....Embarrassment! Edward should be angry with _me_.

For believing something like his unfaithfulness so easily, it was a crime.

I stared into his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips. I blew a strand of hair out of my face.

"Well, fuck." I muttered, my cheeks flushing. "Gladly," he murmured, grinning. He leant his face down to mine—catching my bottom lip between his. I moaned into his mouth as he pushed his hips into mine. I gasped in anticipation.

"Yes," I whispered against his lips. "Now." I demanded.

"Again."

**:D And there you have it, explained. Hope you like this chappie :)Reviews are better than Rosalie's diamond ring.**


	18. Daskiya

**:) Prepare for totally mind-blowing shit ;) I listened to "I smell sex and candy by Marcy playground" when I wrote this, you should too. Its awesome. ;)**

"Now?" Edward repeated, breathing hard against my neck.

I nodded, my eyes half closed. He tucked my hair behind my ear, brushing the tips of his fingers under my eyes to wipe away the tears I had shed.

My arms moved around his neck, holding him prisoner. He stopped kissing me and pulled back to look at my face.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked weakly. He laughed. "Why would I be mad at you?" he shook his head, his fingers stroking my cheek. I took a deep breath and started from the top. "Because I thought you were engaged...to your sister," I shuddered.

"And because I should have trusted you enough to know that you would never do that." He shook his head and leaned his forehead against mine. "That doesn't matter now," he whispered. "But..." he started, a grin on his face.

"I would like to punish you..."

My eyes widened. His lips came close to mine but didn't touch. I pushed closer.

"No," he said, pulling back. "This is your punishment." He smiled. My mouth hung open.

His lips ghosted over mine then. He gently kissed my cheek, then trailed his lips down my jaw, making my shudder.

He stopped at the corner of my jaw, his teeth grazing against my ear lobe as he whispered.

"I love you." He kissed down my neck to the hollow at the base of my throat, gently tugging at my clothes so he could kiss and trail his tongue up my collar bone. "Ugh, please," I practically begged. He chuckled melodically.

"Patience, Bella," he murmured. I closed my eyes and let my fingers splay out in his hair.

His hands moved over my clothes, down to my hips where they moved under my shirt, hovering over my skin.

It was painful—the waiting, the anticipation, the _hunger._ He had the power to relieve that hunger—but he chose to torture me with his horrendously slow kisses. Which, by the way, drove me insane. He slowly but firmly pressed his body against mine then pulled back, I whimpered, needing more.

I arched my back off the door, but his hands held me firmly against it, refusing to let me lead.

His lips finally came back to mine, parting slightly. His tongue slid against my bottom lip teasingly.

We were both breathing heavy, my pulse racing fast, my cheeks flushed.

His hands came in front of us then, tugging my shirt up my stomach. He helped me out of it, pulling it over my shoulders before he tore his jacket off, followed by his t-shirt.

I was practically salivating—which was kind of embarrassing.

He leaned both hands on the door either side of my head as I unbuckled his belt.

He fumbled in his pocket for a condom before he grabbed hold of me then and pulled me to the bed. I straddled his lap as he sat down. I pushed his chest so he fell back, laying down flat.

I kneeled above him, unclasping my bra and throwing it to god knows where—my eyes were only focussed on one thing.

I unbuttoned his jeans, unzipping them and pulling his pants and his boxers down his legs to his ankles.

I stood up for a moment, admiring his naked body.

He sat up, hooking his fingers in my jeans before pulling me closer. He kissed up and down my bare stomach, trailing his tongue over my skin.

I moaned in pleasure before his skilful hands moved to my button and zipper, pulling my pants and underwear down at the same time.

His hands grazed down my back, over my butt and down the back of my thighs. He kissed down my stomach, past my navel, curving outwards to my hip bone.

I shuddered, my eyes rolling back in my head.

He pulled one of my legs forward by the back of the knee. I knelt down on the bed, straddling his lap. I could feel his erection under me—pulsing with impatient need. I breathed in shaky breaths before slowly settling all the way down—he slid into my entrance with ease.

I began rocking painfully slow against him—he groaned, his hands grasping tightly at my hips. My hands sought his shoulders, nails digging in and breathing in shallow pants.

He buried his face in my chest, his lips moving across my nipples. "Oh, fuck, Edward," I gasped. I was still moving at snail pace—torturing him like he tortured me.

Yet doing this was hard for me, too. "Faster," he pleaded in a breathless whisper. I picked up the pace. His hands guided me, rocking harder. I moaned and gasped in pleasure.

"Fuck," I gasped, my eyes staring up at the ceiling. The whole bed was moving with every motion I made--moving myself hard against Edward. I needed to feel that climax...the pinnacle of pleasure, I rocked harder, the searing heat and desire boiled up under my skin.

Edward breathed heavily against my neck, my body moving against his. Just a little further... Suddenly, Edward's hands snake around my waist, he rolls me over onto my back.

He entered me again, harder—I had never felt so good in my life. Each powerful thrust pushed me closer to the edge.

I was panting like an animal, Edward was groaning, mixed in with a string of 'fuck's.

"Harder!" I pleaded helplessly. He obliged with no argument, bending my knees upwards before moving further into me. He pushed harder and with more speed, he didn't hold back nor did I want him to. He plunged into me relentlessly, but all the while remaing gentle somehow.

"Edward," I moaned...just a little more... I gasped, my entire body tightening around him.

"Bella," he breathed, finding his own release just after me. I slumped back onto the bed—exhausted.

He collapsed onto the bed beside me before pulling me tightly against his chest, his arms wrapping around my waist. "Holy fuck," I whispered, his body shook with laughter.

"Ditto." He murmured, kissing the top of my head.

I inhaled his scent, letting it flood my mind even more than my orgasm already did.

~~~___~~~

I had wanted Edward to stay, but of course he couldn't—Charlie would be home soon after and questions would be raised as to who owned the silver Volvo on the kerb.

However, he did circle the block again until Charlie's cruiser showed up. He was extremely worried about someone appearing at my house and try to strangle me or something—sacrifice me...I don't know. But after sharing such an intimate moment—twice, he said he couldn't help but feel so protective of me.

I told him I appreciated it, but he was overreacting a little—there were such things as locks.

Yet he still insisted it was all necessary. I just shrugged and let him, there was no use in fighting—but then again, if we fought, I had just experienced what make-up sex was like. I blushed to myself—fucking brilliant. I was tapping my hands against the steering wheel along the beat to the song I was listening to on the radio.

I was exceptionally cheerful this morning, chatting to people, even. An event that occurred once every few months, apparently.

I started the day with an animated chat to Angela—my faithful best friend. We ran into each other in the parking lot.

"Hey, Bells." She greeted happily, linking her arm through mine. "Hey, Ang." I greeted back, mirroring her mood.

Everything was just so perfect, how could one not be euphoric? We spoke about trivial things, but that didn't distract her from my shift in attitude.

Was I usually that mopey? I wondered idly how Edward had found me attracting in the first place. Whatever it was, I was grateful for it.

She tucked her fingers in the cuffs of her tan jacket—it was particularly cold this morning. I followed suit, hugging my arms around myself—my sweater and jacket didn't seem to be enough today. I still shivered. Her teeth clattered as she tried to speak. She rubbed at her eyes—looking abnormally tired.

"Are you okay? You look really drained." I observed politely, not wanting to say she looked like crap. She stifled a yawn with her palm.

"Ugh, I'm exhausted." She muttered resentfully. "Why?" I frowned.

"People who live a few blocks away from us must be having parties or something—it's crazy." I bit my lip, still frowning.

"You live on the outskirts of La Push, right?" She nodded, covering her mouth from another yawn. "I don't know what they've got going...but they're so loud with all that goddamned _chanting!_" "Huh," I murmured, pondering all this. "They never used to be the partying crowd down on the res," I mused. "Not loud parties, anyway." She shrugged, disregarding the subject. Parties in La Push? It was practically unheard of—there were never any disturbances from the area, as Charlie had told me. What had changed?

_Why_ had it changed? I tapped my chin with my forefinger, unaware of Angela talking beside me. We strolled into the hallways, she waved goodbye once she made it to her locker.

I kept walking towards mine. According to Charlie, there had been some signs of disturbance out on the sea cliffs at First Beach. Apparently, someone had been catching wild animals and culling them, nailing them to crucifixes in some sort of sick, twisted kind of ritual. Could that be what Angela had heard?

My mind was still bending over possibilities over the fire alarm incident—there wasn't much more I could puzzle over before my brain melted.

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. This was getting more and more weird and complicated by the day. I should focus on what I already knew and begin from there, building on my knowledge of the situation. Firstly? I knew that those rituals had to have something to do with the threats here at school—my death threat in the bathroom.

I leaned my back against the wall. They were people who hated me enough to want me dead. How had that hate come about? What had I done?

There was nothing I could think of. This, sort of, satanic cult, I guess you could say, it seemed to be isolated to just La Push.

Apart from the threats at Forks High, the weird sacrificial ceremonies only happened on the Quileute reservation.

I only knew a little bit about the Quileute legends, only from the old wives tales that Charlie had told me as a child.

There were myths and fables invented in their time that tried to explain everyday happenings, like how the tides worked, etc.

I remember one certain story—one that had stuck in my brain like it had been burnt there with a branding iron. It was the myth about the 'cold ones'. An ancient feud between the Quileute tribe and white settlers, I presumed. That was a logical explanation.

There was an invisible treaty line between their reservation and Forks, it divided the two groups, the supposedly 'evil' cold ones and the Native American tribe. It was like a modern day adaption. I hadn't forgotten the bloody message over the lockers.

The lockers there belonged to Tyler, Ben, Conner...most of the guys from the football team. I had originally thought that there was no feud between the teams—maybe that's all it was. Just testosterone fuelled grudge matches. But then there was my threat to consider.

I had hardly anything to do with football...besides, well, being with Jacob.

But that was long over before the threats were given. And who would take football seriously enough to bring it down to killing?

It didn't make sense at all. It was seriously fucked up—it made my head hurt. And what was with the dead animals? There was a vague sense of familiarity when it came to the animals...but why nail them to crucifixes? They had nothing to do with the Quileute culture.

This was becoming a serious mind rape.

I needed caffeine.

I found my feet taking me to first period without me making them.

I continued to silently stew in my unfinished revelations as I made my way to Bio. It appeared to be a mixture of devil worship and old legends—something made up by the culprits as a new age sort of culture. Like inventing a new trend of fashion—only instead of clothes...this involved blood and dead animals.

This was beginning to feel like a wasted effort. I'm sure Edward would have come up with better explanations than I had. I felt like such a failure.

And he called _me_ smart. When lunch came around, I quickly dashed to the library, scoping out more information on my could-be killers/stalkers. It was a daunting task, I had no idea where to look. How about with Native American Culture? Duh. I rolled my eyes at myself as I sauntered quietly down that aisle of shelves, scanning for Q.

I flipped through numerous books...finding nothing. I was a pretty shitty investigator. No wonder I always got crappy marks for research projects.

I was resigned to giving up on my little escapade when the spine of a book caught my eye. I knelt down on the rough carpet and pulled it out.

It was a hard cover—blue with an interesting pattern over it. I thumbed through it, speed reading over the bold headings, searching for something that I may have heard of before now, maybe at a bon fire with Jake or Charlie.

When I used to visit Forks with Charlie, we would always head up to La Push on weekends and absorb the night life which mainly consisted of barbecues and bonfires at First Beach or at the Clearwater's house. The last page jumped out at me and I halted the page flipping, opening the book wider to read what it said.

"Dask'iya," I whispered to myself, reading from the heading on the page. That name ringed a bell in my memory so I kept reading.

_A common legend among the Quileute people, told many years ago, it reveals the story of the young, beautiful and promiscuous, Dask'iya. _

_An enchanted sorceress, an ogress, a cannibal and a 'cold one'. She hunted the Quileute land for victims, seducing the males of the tribe until they bent to her whim. _

_She was a beautiful creature who played on their desires, leading them away from their families and wives to consummate a partnership before brutally feeding on them. _

_She returned many times but was killed in a bloody battle between the transforming wolves and the village of sadistic cold blooded murderers where Dask'iya hailed from. It was believed that she had only one love—another 'cold one', a sorcerer whom has never been named—a secret Dask'iya took to the pile of flames she burned in. _

_The tribe chanted prayers to keep the sorceress at bay, to keep her from stealing their husbands, brothers or sons. _

_Q'wati, the tribal leader had once been under the sorceress' spell, but broke free from the curse before fleeing back to his tribe in a bid to warn them and start the battle that would rid their land of the evil Dask'iya and her kind._

My mind was lost in the story before I snapped back to the library. I shook my head and carefully placed the book back.

All that did was send chills up my spine, it didn't help me at all. I huffed miserably at my small failure at coming close to finding out what was going on. I stood up woodenly, needing to see Edward again before class started.

The legend swirled in my head like a bad movie—my conscious mind said there was no resemblance or similarities to what was happening in La Push, but then there was that nagging voice in the back of my head that pushed me to keep trying—that there was something linking that story to the bloody threats and the rituals.

But my mind was already in overdrive and trying to find that link would probably give me an aneurism.

I halted in the middle of the hallway, looking to my right...the girl's bathroom. I pushed the door open slightly...I could still smell it.

But there was nothing in there, no words on the tiled wall, no bloody mannequin with a noose around it's neck. I sighed and stepped away, running face first into another body.

I fell backwards on my butt—ouch. I stared up incredulously, my eyes met with a pair of big brown ones in a russet skinned face framed with shortly cropped black hair. My mouth hung open but no words would escape, my eyes bulged out of their sockets and my breathing was closer to hyperventilating. He looked down at me, a loathing sneer on his lips.

My lip trembling, I managed to utter out one sentence in a strangled tone of voice.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Jacob?"

**HE'S BACK! lol, but why? Find out soon. But I'm afraid I have to report I won't be able to update for a little while, no more than two or three days. I will be going to the Gold Coast for a while, but will be back soon and writing again. You may even have more than one chapter waiting once I return. ;)**

**Love you guys!!**

**Reviews are better than bloody mannequins.**


	19. Down with love

**Sorry about the long wait, guys. :) I LOVED all the lovely reviews you sent me in regards to my last chapter!!**

**You guys are so awesome *blows kisses***

**Oh, and, um, another pre-warning. More smut....(I know, I'm excited too) *scrolls past mushy nonsense to get to naked Edward***

He scowled in response to my seething question.

I was sitting in the middle of the hallway, my hands leaning on the floor behind me—too shocked to move.

I stared up at him with wide-eyes, waiting for the answer that he owed me. Hell, if I was a bank, he owed me a fuck load of money. I waited in stunned silence.

His expression shifted from the fierce, hateful scowl to one of sickened amusement. I just watched—horror struck.

"Don't smile at me, you son of a bitch," I spat acidly, shaking my head. He dropped the smirk then opted back to the seething hate. I scooted a few feet back before I attempted to stand up. "Answer me, why the fuck are you here?"

He gazed into my eyes with curious wonder which turned to disgust—his head snapped up, as if someone had called his name out, but I hadn't heard anything.

I narrowed my eyes at him, his eyes came back to stare at me before he loped past me and down the hall, muttering something as he fled.

"What did you call me?" I demanded, whirling to face his hunched, retreating form. He didn't turn, nor did he answer me...again.

I swallowed loudly—I heard him call me something. It sounded like a foreign language—it was too low and raspy to make out exactly what it was.

But...it did sound somewhat familiar—not your usual swear word. I wondered if he was learning to swear in Quileute.

I snapped out of my daze, spinning around on my heels before dashing down the corridor and around the corner.

Apparently I should be wearing blinkers or I should have a horn—because another person barrelled into me. I let out a scream—but of course it wouldn't be Jacob. I felt firm hands on my arms, just above my elbows, holding me to a leanly muscled body so I wouldn't fall back.

I gazed up into those jade green eyes with a relieved huff of breath. "It's okay, Bella—it's me." He said, smiling slightly—confused. He must have sensed the malice in my silence following the terrified scream.

His smile fell and his brow came together. His eyes narrowed over his sparkling eyes. "What is it?" he said flatly. "You're shaking," he noted, frowning at his hands on my arms. I tried to control the tremors rocking through me. I couldn't find my voice.

I opened my mouth to explain when he dropped his hands from my arms, staring over my shoulder. He kept his face flat—dangerously normal, I could tell what was seething beneath the surface. I didn't even need to look around to know who he just spotted through the cafeteria doors.

I swallowed loudly and looked up into his angel's face. It was like a fierce angel...an angry angel/demon, beautiful but deadly.

With Edward, he could either be extremely persuasive and charming, or harshly sinister. Right now, I wouldn't be brave enough to even squeak if I crossed him. To the normal person, one who didn't know him and wasn't connected with him on the level I was, would just assume he was bored. I knew better, however. The emotions flitting just inches beneath his carefully composed mask were intense and terrifyingly menacing. "I...I-uh," I stuttered, his eyes dropped back to mine then.

I shut my mouth. "Why were you out here?" I asked casually—yet my voice betrayed me.

He just stared at me, his jaw clenched, his fists in tight balls at his sides.

"I was waiting, but you never came. So I went to check on you," he muttered in a serene manner.

I tried to keep a nonchalant facade, too. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could he interjected. "He's back," he stated flatly. I watched his face—the mask dissolved making room for the fury, the unadulterated fucking rage that emanated from deep within his eyes.

"I-I guess s-so," I said, shrugging. He motioned with his hand to follow behind him.

I did, stumbling alongside him as he walked in an emotionless facade again. That is...until the door closed behind us. He pressed his back against the door, his eyes burning with all seriousness—I thought they might have enough power to set me on fire. I stood trembling by the edge of his desk. What was I afraid of? Edward would never hurt me.

He wasn't even angry at me—I hadn't done anything at all to merit punishment. I needed to calm myself down.

If I achieved that, then I could work on calming him down—he definitely needed it. He pressed his fists to his head, his knuckles were white and his eyes were tightly shut—his mouth a hard line. He let out a gusty breath, sucking in another one.

I waited patiently, not about to throw myself to the sharks while he was still in the 'Im-going-to-kill-that-motherfucker' mood. I slowly, hesitantly walked over to him, making each of my steps deliberate—like I was approaching a dangerous animal...or a deer. He pulled his fists down and let them drop to his sides, he leant his head back against the door—I could see the strain in his features, the stress and anxiety that only shadowed the anger.

He stared up at the ceiling for a moment before lowering his head and closing his eyes again.

It was like he was having an internal battle, a struggle that he wouldn't let me see or be burdened with.

Didn't he know I didn't care what problems he had, I would always want to know so I could help? I took another step toward his rigid form so I was standing right in front of him now.

"Edward," I whispered. I reached my hand up to put to his face. He opened his eyes, I could tell from his face the effort it was taking to keep his feet planted in this room. He gazed down at me, his expression softening. He sighed, letting out a breath that he must have been holding.

"It's okay." I whispered. His eyes flashed. "No," he said flatly, dropping his gaze to glare at his feet.

"It's not okay." He said through clenched teeth. I took a deep breath. "You need to calm down for me, okay?" I said in a shaky voice.

His head snapped up then and he noticed for the first time how much he was scaring me and how frayed my nerves were at this point.

I hadn't expected to run into Jake at all, ever again, at least, I had hoped not to. But things didn't stay the same forever, and in a town like this, I was bound to bump into that fucker sooner or later, whether it was by my own free will, or whether it was at school or not. It was still more than likely going to happen.

I sighed and his eyes widened. His brow furrowed. "Did he do anything to you?" he demanded. I shook my head.

"No, I mean, well I bumped into him. It was an accident, then he just...stared at me. I asked him—" "You spoke to him?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Well, yeah. I asked him what he was doing here..." I shook my head, still puzzled as to why he would ignore me so blatantly and then glare at me like I was the most disgusting thing in the world. "He just...glared at me. Looked at me strangely, he was acting so oddly. Nothing like what he used to be like." I said in a barely audible tone.

Edward's big hand wrapped around mine and squeezed my fingers gently. I looked up at him—he had contained his rage...for now, anyway. He sighed.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you, how selfish am I? What about you? Are _you_ okay?" he pressed, cupping my cheek with his hand.

I nodded, although I knew my face would betray my affirmation. Like I had presumed, his eyes narrowed before he spoke again.

First, he pulled me to him, tucking my face below his chin and hugging me tightly against his chest. He was breathing out strained, ragged breaths.

"I don't want you anywhere near him." He whispered, kissing the top of my head. "I don't _want_ to be anywhere near him," I muttered, inhaling his scent as I pressed my face against his body. His arms tightened, squeezing me before he released me to pull my chin up with his hand. I sighed in content as our lips brushed—the tingling electrical sensation dimming the rest of my senses. My thoughts scattered and I easily forgot all my worries.

Who was Jacob Black?

Who was Bella Swan?

I didn't know the answer when his lips were on mine.

Who was Edward Cullen?

Now that, I did know and would always know.

His fingers combed through my hair behind my ear, his other hand gripping at my waist. My fingers grasped at his shirt as our breathing turned harder.

We were stumbling backwards blindly, our eyes still closed as we fed hungrily on each other's mouths. My tongue plunged and sought after his, licking his lips and moaning against them as he reciprocated. My ass found the edge of his desk and he pushed me onto it, my legs wrapped around his hips.

His hands gently squeezed my thighs before gliding up my body and under my shirt till they met my breasts, massaging sensually.

I moaned again into his mouth— I felt the tension build as we got more physical. It was as if we were both junkies, no matter what the situation was, we still needed each other, mentally and physically. The pent up anger Edward was storing only seemed to increase the passion.

His hands pulled out from under my shirt and moved to my butt, scooting me closer and pushing my back so it was flat against the wood of his desk. I looked up at him quizzically, he was pre-occupied, kissing up and down my stomach. I breathed in and out raggedly, unable to concentrate on anything other than his lips against my body.

Before I knew it, he was unzipping my jeans—the sickest part? I didn't give a flying fuck what the fuck he thought he was doing because I was in heaven, floating on a cloud of orgasmic—and I mean that in the literal sense—bliss.

He had pulled my jeans down just far enough, leaving them hanging off my knees. I was trembling with anticipation as I felt his breath against my core. His fingers slowly entered me, moving gently but with determination.

I gasped, my toes curling at this new development.

I was panting, a sheen of sweat dewing on my forehead as I neared an orgasm.

He pulled his fingers out and I was about to protest and beg that he kept going until I felt his tongue slide up my centre. I gasped again, my eyes bulging out. He worked me feverishly, using his fingers and his tongue until finally giving up his teasing and letting me feel the climax I silently pleaded for.

My body went rigid and tightened convulsively around his fingers. His lips were trailing up and down my stomach, his tongue gliding lazily across my skin, tasting it—savouring. His hands gently pulled my panties back up, then my jeans, zipping them and refastening the button. His hands slid under my back, pulling me into a sitting position.

It was only fair that after _that_—he should get his share of pleasure, too. I managed to hold my limp body upright as my weak hands slowly pushed me off the desk.

I landed on my feet, wobbly but still vertical. I pressed my body up against his and I could _feel_ that he was in need of a release. I unbuttoned his jeans—he was about to protest until I slid my hand inside, wrapping my palm around him. He breathed heavily, his head falling to my shoulder.

I let my knees bend so I was kneeling on the ground before him.

"Bella, you don't have to—" he started to say but his words contorted and he groaned as I let him slide into my mouth. I licked and sucked—not quite sure what I was doing, if I had to admit it. "Fuck," he muttered through gritted teeth, groaning again—trying to stay quiet.

I curled my tongue around the tip and I knew he was undone. I did for him what he did for me—quite gladly.

I pulled his pants back up and refastened his jeans, standing up to kiss him. "Feel better now?" I murmured against his mouth. He chuckled and I took that as a yes.

The bell rang then and I groaned. This meant our temporary departure. I kissed Edward once more, his hand gently stroking my cheek as I stretched up on my toes. I swiftly fled his shared office and ghosted the halls toward my locker, practically skipping with glee.

One thing to cure a crappy day—an orgasm. Enough said.

~~~___~~~

School pretty much followed the same pattern for a while.

Well, except for the 'sexy time' in Edward's office, that didn't happen again.

We decided it was safer to keep all that business outside of school hours and property. I also decided to spend at least some lunches with Angela and Ben so they wouldn't think I was avoiding them.

They were such great friends and I would hate for them to think bad of me, no matter how bad I was.

I noticed Edward strolling about outside the cafeteria most days I was there. I would see him from the corner of my eye and I would always know why he was there. Maybe it was irrational, or maybe it was actually necessary. But because we were in deeper with each other than either of us thought possible—it was _im_possible not to overreact.

He usually strolled the grounds outside so he could keep an eye on Jacob Black. I could almost feel his gaze on me—I automatically relaxed and felt easy and carefree while he was there. He didn't want Jacob confronting me or talking to me, nor me to him. For which I was in no way inclined, so I assured him to rest easy.

He was obstinate about it and kept with his strolling-outside-the-window technique. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him, but that didn't stop me from feeling warm and fuzzy inside—it was nice to know someone cared that much about you. I made no further progress on the 'La Push/blood threat/bloody mannequin/cult/satanic rituals' situation, either.

It was all so draining and I couldn't set my mind to the job—there wasn't much I had reference to either.

I sighed dejectedly as I stuffed another book back onto the shelf in the library.

I pondered silently as I stared at the battered spines of the history books.

There had been no more threats. There had been no-one trying to kill me, what I was aware of anyway.

Why was I still hung up on this? It could be due to the fact that the cops hadn't found anything worthy to put forward as evidence.

Charlie came home exhausted every day—his mind boggling over possibilities. Apparently, Jacob had been questioned—it was purely routine though, and they didn't find anything suspicious about him. There was only the slightest inkling in my stomach that he was responsible—it had to be someone else then, but who?

Besides Jacob, I couldn't think of anyone who held such a surreptitious hate for me. Still, I didn't know much about the outside world—the world that didn't revolve around Edward Cullen. However, he did keep me clued in on mostly everything. He wanted me to be aware.

He could be very blunt about things, too sometimes, it made me cringe. But I would much rather be alert about the truth and all the bad things that were happening, with Edward, than be happily oblivious and ignorant, without him. I slowly browsed down the aisle, weaving around the corner and into the next one, hoping I would get lucky and find something that was actually helpful.

I scanned over the titles, my eyes glazing over and my mind wandering back to that day when Jacob came back to school.

I didn't hold it in such significance because of him...it was afterwards...in Edward's office that made me want to imagine myself back there.

I realised I was blushing and smiling to myself as I felt the warm blood rush to my cheeks, my lips pulled up at the corners. I moved further down the aisle, biting my lip and trying to inconspicuously fan myself with a book. I stopped dead in my tracks, dropping the book at my feet when I noticed someone familiar standing in front of me in the next row. He hadn't noticed me and I thought it better to keep it that way. His hair was all greasy and disgusting, hanging in limp strands against his neck.

His clothes were tattered and old—messy.

He had really let himself go. I mean, not that Jacob ever was one for the primping nonsense—but he at least bathed.

This Jacob, the stranger that stood before me...he was filthy. I wondered why. I was wondering about a lot of things lately, all of which tended to hurt my head when I wondered too much about them. I slowly and carefully backed away, turning and sprinting out of the library—racing past Edward who was very inconspicuously photocopying some English work sheets one my way out. He noticed my fleeing and came right after me, bringing his sheets with him in order to _remain_ inconspicuous.

I slowed to a tense walk then stopped in the middle of the hallway my mind coming apart.

I was too upset and wound up that I hadn't noticed Jacob's fingers ghosting over each book I had touched...

**:D That last part is really creepy, isn't it? IF IT WAS, thats the point. Tell me what you think. And how much you liked the LEMON!!**

**The reason for this SUDDEN...ahem, thing, was because I actuall had a request. Who am I to deny my fans? And in this chapter, I made Edward a little more stalkerish (Lethar, I'm doing you a favour) HAHA. **

**So to the guys that wanted them to go down on eachother, you are welcome!**

**Hope you liked it guys!**

**Reviews are NOT better than 'sexy time' with Edward. I would MUCH rather 'sexy time' with that hot motherfucker but...since he isn't real *sigh* I guess I'll settle for some reviews ;D**


	20. Don't be reckless

**:):):) ENJOY!**

"I'm okay, seriously. You're overreacting. He didn't even do anything to me." I assured Edward.

I was sitting cross legged in the middle of his huge king size bed, snuggling the golden comforter around me—it stayed true to its name, it comforted me. Edward however, was not comforted. After my run-in, as he put it, with Jacob in the library, he is hell bent on murdering the boy.

I had tried to tell him over and over again, that he didn't even see, hear, talk or acknowledge my presence the entire time.

He was fretting over nothing. He paced uneasily in front of the bed, biting his thumb nail, a dark seething in his eyes.

"Edward, please, don't be like this," I begged in helpless voice. He sighed but still paced.

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. "Bella, fuck," he groaned, rubbing the back of his head, planting his feet finally.

"Please don't defend him." A dark, sinister edge to his words. "He tried to rape you." He said flatly.

It was my turn to sigh. I swallowed loudly. "Not that I needed a reminder," I muttered in a low voice. I closed my eyes and pulled my knees to my chin, ducking my head. I felt him sit down on the bed and scoot closer to me.

I sucked in a shaky breath, not realising I was crying until I felt the hot tears pour in streams down my cheeks. "Listen," I pleaded in a hoarse tone. "okay? He hasn't tried anything. Nothing. He doesn't even seem to know I exist anymore..." I trailed off, remembering his fierce glare the first day back.

I'm sure Edward remembered, which is why he tried to argue his point some more. Before speaking again, he pulled me closer, unlocking my arms from around my shins and wrapping his arm around my waist. I relaxed and let him stroke my hair and face. "You're so forgiving," he murmured against my hair. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Really?" I felt him nodding. "It's such an uncommon quality. I often value it in you. But now..." I could hear his voice growing harder.

"Maybe you're too forgiving, are you forgetting, Bella? That you're on a satanic cult's hit list?" I ground my teeth and spoke through them. "Again, no-one has touched me," I reminded him. His arms tightened reflexively and I could sense a deep agony to his next sentence.

"If anything ever happened to you..." I felt my face fall and I couldn't help but hate myself for being such a cow.

He was only trying to keep me safe—something that had proved to be quite a task in the past. I turned my face so I could look at him. I sat up, shifting around.

I sat on his lap, straddling him so I could look in his eyes. I held his face in my hands—his pain wasn't faked. I could see it, his burning fury wasn't beyond reason.

If someone was out to hunt him—something that I may not be enough to fight against on my own—I would be doing my god damn hardest to keep him from trouble. That would include stalker-ish tendencies. But when it came to Edward—there were no limits. Why was I being so difficult. "Nothing," I emphasised the word.

"Will happen to me." I stressed, holding my hands firm against his cheeks.

His hands were on my back, stroking up and down my shirt.

"There is nothing else that you have to do for me. You're already doing it." I said, surely. I knew he was trying his hardest—harder than anyone, exactly what I would do if the situation was reversed. The sunlight was dim through the windows in Edward's bedroom, there were no curtains for privacy, but when you live in such a beautiful, peaceful and remote part of town, you didn't require them.

The limited light cast dark shadows over his features—it reminded me of that night, the night of the game...when we first kissed.

His face was laminated by the moon, but shadowed by the dimness. He sighed deeply, looking into my eyes with an intense fervour that made my breathing hitch. "I don't want anyone else to touch you," he whispered huskily.

"I don't want anyone else to even look at you the way I do." I bit my lip, unable to help the smile that spread across my face. I was wanted and needed—enough for Edward to want me to himself, like I wanted him to myself.

It was only human of us, I mean, it was natural.

"What scares me...is that...I can't make it clear to everyone else that you're taken," he said broodingly, his breath stirring strands of my hair across my shoulders.

My hands were combing their way through his hair subconsciously—I didn't even realise I was doing it.

I had grown accustomed to many habits now that we were together. We were so used to each other—it was difficult to imagine life different, untainted by this...passion. The thought alone made me tremble with despair. "Well," I began softly, clearing my throat before smiling warmly.

"_I_ can make it clear that I'm _not_ interested." I shrugged. It was a simple as that. He perked a perfect eyebrow, staring at me sceptically.

"What?" I asked, growing impatient. He shook his head. "Have you noticed that boys tend to be annoyingly persistent when it comes to things they want?" I raised my eyebrow and grinned. "Like you?" I offered. He narrowed his eyes before shaking his head.

"That was different. These boys..." he said, his face attaining a cringe. He shook his head then sighed, shrugging.

"So, how did this conversation get to this point?" I wondered aloud, trying to lighten the mood and hopefully change topics.

Unfortunately, Edward knew me too well, he could tell what I was doing. "Bella," he said reproachfully. I shifted, uncomfortable.

"Just _promise_ me that you will take this more seriously," he pleaded, his voice serious and pained again. I would do anything to erase that pain, whether that meant being good and doing as I was told or eating a bucket of sand. Well, that was messed up. I shook my head, trying to clear it off all the internal babble that seemed to consume it a lot lately. "I'm not just talking about..._Jacob_—" he seethed the word. "Either. I mean about everything.

Especially those threats, you seem to be coming to the conclusion that because nothing has happened, that they don't matter anymore." His voice took on a desperate edge, trying so hard to get me to fully understand the gravity of what was happening around me.

Chaos. I breathed deeply and nodded.

"I will, I promise." I said solemnly, thinking about raising my hand to my chest just to make the vow more concrete. He relaxed a minuscule, but I could still feel the tension in his arms. I used to think the biggest problem in my life was resisting this man that held me so tenderly in his grasp.

I was so naive. Yes, an affair with your teacher could prove to be problematic at times, but when your life is on the line?

It seems more trivial...a small obstacle compared to the mountain that we now faced—not with our relationship, but with my life.

Yet, if put beside each other, in my mind, the relationship out-weighed my existence. I wonder if that's how Edward felt... But if I admitted my own feelings on the subject, for which I was sure he would get out of me after mentioning it, he would go into a fit of rage. We would be going over the same conversation we had just had—my life comes first, my safety comes first, in his mind. So, I guess I had a sort of answer.

"You need to take care of yourself for me." He murmured, tightening his hold around my waist to accentuate his words.

"Be. Careful." I nodded, agreeing to his requests. "And if he _ever_ tries to do anything to you again, if he so much as looks at you in a way that makes you upset...You. Need. To. Tell. Me." He said. "Okay," I nodded.

"So, if need be, I can _bitch slap_ that motherfucker." A giggle burst out of my lips.

The words bitch slap coming from Edward's mouth...too funny.

My body shook with laughter against his—eventually ending conversation altogether. We stared at each other—we were involved in another heated moment where all I could think about was him being inside me. Without any planning or previous discussion—who did that anyway?—Edward's mouth came down on mine, hard.

My body shuddered, goose bumps rising on my skin wherever he touched—I was panting in anticipation for him. He rolled me off his lap and onto my back.

I pulled his shirt up and over his head, revealing to me his scrumptious body.

I was so lost, I didn't even have time to mentally chastise myself for using words like 'scrumptious' to describe Edward's body. Delicious sounded less creepy.

His hands wrenched the hem of my shirt up my body and over my head, throwing it over his shoulder.

I sat up, pushing my hand against his chest—he looked confused. I stood up at the end of the bed and brought myself closer to him. His hands moved up to my hair, grasping at it by the roots and tugging—it made me moan into his mouth. His tongue glided in and out of mine.

The pain...and pleasure...it was like peanut butter and jelly—a killer combination that could not go fucking wrong.

I didn't know what I was doing, maybe I had gotten a taste for the roughness—the tearing of clothes...etc. It only added to the experience and made me more aroused for him. It felt like it would never end—the lust. The fiery burn exceeded normal heights as I pushed him further back until we were standing in the middle of his bathroom.

We were just staring at each other—my skin flushed, his chest heaving. My eyes shifted to the shower then back to him. He raised an eyebrow before smiling devilishly.

While he had his back turned, leaning in the gigantic walls of glass to turn on the faucets, I unbuttoned my jeans then stepped forward to do his.

He went down on his knees, slowly tugging the denim down my thighs, his mouth following with a line of hot kisses. I groaned, my hands fisting into his bronze hair.

The water was running in a steady stream, waiting for us—beckoning. I stepped out of my jeans and he tossed them out the door. The tiles were cold on my feet and the balance of temperature between that and his warm body made me shiver. He kissed his way back up my stomach, I wasn't as graceful or patient with my movements.

I grasped his pants by the waistband, yanking them down his legs impatiently. He stepped out of them and kicked them off—we both stood in our underwear, his mouth came back down on mine. His tongue slowly rubbed against mine, sliding against my bottom lip, sending chills down my spine. My hair tickled my back as his fingers combed through it.

They then travelled in slow, gentle lines down my shoulders to my spine.

He unclasped my bra, ripping it off my arms with ferocious need. His lips lightly traced over my nipples, leaving me gasping and arching my back to get closer to him. His thumbs hooked into my panties, jerking too quickly and tearing them. Neither of us seemed to care.

He pulled what was left of them down my thighs, I tugged his boxers down his legs till they too, dropped to the cold floor.

He pushed the glass door out of the way, stepping into the shower and pulling me with him. The warm water sprayed against my over-heated skin, wetting my hair and face. Edward stood right under the water jet, his hair getting drenched. He kissed down my neck, gently nipping around my breasts. I moaned, leaning up against a glass wall.

He made it all the way down to my sopping wet entrance, his fingers entering my slick folds. I gasped and rocked my hips toward him. He stood up but kept his fingers in place—moving slowly in and out. The water drenched our bodies, making them slippery as we moved against each other. He pulled his fingers out of me—just like he had before.

His erection pressed against me.

His hands grabbed me by the tops of the arms and spun me around, thrusting into me from behind.

I gasped and moaned so loudly that I was grateful Edward had such distant neighbours.

"Ahhh, Edward!" I gritted my teeth against the scream that threatened to escape my throat.

He thrust harder, grunting and groaning. "Bella," he gasped. His fingers came around to my chest, brushing over my nipples, down my stomach to massage my clit.

My eyes bulged out in surprise and the best fucking pleasure he had ever given me as his lips moved down my shoulder.

I had both my palms pressed up against the glass, his free hand moved up to my left hand, covering it with his. My hands clenched into tight fists as he pushed me further toward the precarious edge he had me on. I was gasping and panting in pleasurable impatience. "Please!" I begged.

"Harrdeerrrr," I dragged the word out desperately.

He obliged as quickly as I had begged. His hand tightened over mine, he plunged into me in harder, faster thrusts.

I was teetering just on the point of the best orgasm I had ever had when he pulled out completely.

I was so desperate for more of him, for him to give me the release that I was almost crying with panic that he wasn't going to. Then, finally, he thrust one last time into me—with exceptional force, his thumb pressing into my clit. I screamed. I screamed loud. I screamed his name at the top of my lungs.

I bet he was proud of that. His hand was still tightly clenched over mine, I could feel him release himself inside me.

We didn't need a condom, I put myself on the pill _very_ inconspicuously. I just hope Charlie wasn't the snooping type. I sighed out in pleasured relief, slowly and weakly turning to him. His face clearly showed, 'sex face'. Like I could care. He took my bottom lip between his, sucking it slowly before sliding his tongue lazily across both my lips.

He turned around then, retrieving some shower gel.

I smiled up at him.

~~~___~~~

I had a case of fuck-nesia.

Fuck it.

I had forgotten everything that had happened prior to and after that amazing shower with Edward.

Jesus, how did I get home?

My thoughts were in a daze until I was abruptly pulled from it by Dad, holding a pizza box in front of my face.

"You hungry, kid?" he asked, his eyebrows raised. "Uh," I started, sounding like I was high. "Yeah, sure." I was actually quite hungry after all that...activity. I was already at the dining table, much to my surprise. Having such severe, mind-blowing orgasms seemed to drain you, made you hungry, made you tired...and made you forget stuff.

I was silently shocked I could still walk after that. Like a constant routine we had going on, Edward drove around the block until Charlie came home—someone was sure to notice some creep in a Volvo roaming our streets constantly even though he lived nowhere near here. I sighed and started nibbling at the crust.

Funny, I had eaten the whole slice without noticing.

Shit, what did you do to me, Edward? I wondered in awe.

"Did you get stuck in the rain?" Charlie asked, his mouth full. He chewed and swallowed, taking a sip of water. I stared, bewildered. He frowned. "Huh?" Was the great response I could muster up. I could hear my brain giving me a round of applause. "You look like a drowned cat, Bells." He clarified.

My hand went to my wet hair—wet from the shower and not the rain.

"Oh, yeah. I, uh, got wet." I cleared my throat, hoping he wouldn't detect the guilt in my voice or the hidden 'sex face'.

He put his attention back to his food and didn't say anything else. I assumed it was because he was aware of my vegetative state, linking it to PMS or something. Or, he just had nothing to talk about. I swallowed my food before I tried talking.

"Um, has there been any news on...the threats?" I enquired, leaning over the table. He sighed, dropping his half eaten pizza slice.

"No, there isn't." He said regrettably, shaking his head. I bit my lip. "Well, thanks...for trying. Thank you." I said, smiling. "Don't worry, we're gonna get them." He promised.

I nodded and smiled again. I turned my attention back to trying to remember how I got home.

~~~___~~~

The haze in my brain seemed to wear off by Friday, thankfully.

After yet another powerfully passionate moment between us, Edward and I had grown even closer. I lived to see him every day. A dull pain pierced through my chest whenever we had to be apart—that pain grew more acute to the point where I couldn't stand the distance anymore.

That's when I usually broke the rules we had put in place. Thursday night, Edward had gone into a convulsing rage after I showed up at his house.

"Bella, why didn't you even think?!" he shouted at me from the bottom of the stairs. I was standing at his front door, my hands trembling.

I was drenched with rain and my teeth were chattering. He glared at me from his place, his hand clenched on the metal railing. I was glad it was metal and not...well, glass or wood. He'd probably break it. "I wanted to see you." I responded in a weak voice.

Great, I was in trouble. My coming here had defeated the whole purpose of coming here.

Thinking that sentence hurt my fucking head. "I'm sorry," I said louder, staring across the room at him. "_Sorry?"_ he scoffed. "What if there was someone prowling outside your house tonight, you would have been easy prey, Bella!" he yelled. "_Stop_ being so _fucking_ reckless." He said through clenched teeth. I flinched and shrank back against the door from his vicious words. I tried to reign in my emotions, my hurt, my embarrassment. I bit my trembling lip and stared down at my feet, my hands were in fists at my sides.

"If you wanted to come here, you could have called." He said, his voice was softer—he was making an exceptional effort to reign in _his_ emotions, too.

"God knows I wanted you here, more than anything." He just about whispered, so quiet that I wasn't sure that was what he said. With that, I ran over to him—ignoring my slippery shoes and wet clothes. He caught me up in his arms and carried me upstairs.

This time was different—we didn't have sex. We just held each other and kissed.

We were both exhausted and we craved each other's company—we only needed to be together, I needed his arms around me. I needed _him_. I had all night, too. Charlie was on the graveyard shift and I was free to spend as much time as I wanted with Edward.

I woke with a start in the warm bed, sitting bolt upright. Edward's arm tightened around my waist.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I shuddered, my hands clenching into fists around the fabric of the sheets.

I screwed my face up, closing my eyes tightly to escape the horrible dream.

In this one, I had been circling the forest, finding my way home. I didn't know why I was there or what I was doing, where I was going, either. I was in no way a good navigator. It started out normally, the trees covering the sunlight and casting mystical luminescence over the forest floor. I was wandering aimlessly before I realised I should be at home.

With that, I began to search. It became a rendition of the Blair Witch project. I tripped and fell a lot. My palms grazed over the uneven surface of rocks and twigs—earning myself some skinless hands. It was gross. Then there were people watching me. I could feel it on the back of my neck, raising the fine hairs on my skin.

I tripped and fell once more into a puddle—a puddle of blood. I got a glimpse of the reflection in the liquid, there was something above me, dripping the oozy crimson onto the ground. I staggered back and my eyes met his. They were glazed over—empty. His body was hanging, a rope around his neck and the blood dripping from his fingertips.

"Edward!" I had screamed, falling to my knees. The forest burst into flames around me. "Oh, Edward," I whimpered, coming back to reality and turning my face to bury it in his neck. He rubbed my back soothingly. "Shh, it's okay." He whispered. He pulled me tightly to his chest, kissing every inch of my face.

I settled into an easier sleep whilst Edward's arms were around me. Our earlier tiff had been forgotten by morning. I had realised why Edward was so afraid. After that dream, I took all the precautions he wanted me to.

Edward escorted me back to my car then followed behind me in his Volvo as I drove home to get some fresh clothes.

I stopped on the kerb and jumped out, expecting him to keep driving. Instead, he stopped behind my truck, glancing around to make sure nobody was looking.

He followed me into the house and upstairs. I raised my eyebrow at him questioningly. He shrugged, his feet making louder thuds against the wooden staircase. He sat down on my bed as I sauntered over to my closet in search of something decent to wear.

I bit my lip and drummed my fingers against my chin. I chose a white blouse and dark blue skinny jeans, my converse all stars and my jacket.

I threw them over the bed where Edward lounged and closed the closet doors, kicking the mess of clothes further in so they would shut.

I pushed and pushed until the door clicked. I turned around to find Edward standing right behind me. I jumped and glared.

"Don't do that," I muttered. He grinned, unbuttoning the blouse I had on. I narrowed my eyes at him but didn't object. I could never object when it came to Edward...and my blouse...and being naked.... Was it hot in here? He gently pushed the fabric off my shoulders, letting it slip down my arms and onto the floor.

His fingers barely touched me and yet I was already aching for him. He watched me with hooded eyes as his hands went to unzip my jeans.

"Wait," I said suddenly as his hands grazed softly against my panties. "I can't...we can't..." I whispered. "I wasn't planning to...but, why do you object?" he asked curiously.

"Because I can't have 'sex face' all day, okay? People are going to notice and...well, i forgot how I got home last time." Edward laughed and sighed, pursing his lips.

He pushed my jeans down my legs and I stepped out of them. He was smirking to himself. I rolled my eyes. "Proud?" I asked as he picked up the white blouse. He smirked wider. "Well," he began in a tone that was trying to be indifferent. "I'm glad I can fuck you out of your brains." He shrugged.

I shuddered, unable to help the wave of arousal that consumed me when I heard words like 'fuck' and 'you' come out of his mouth.

He grinned as he noticed the goose bumps on my skin. He helped me into my blouse and jeans, kissing my forehead before taking my hand and pulling me downstairs. School progressed slowly that day. I didn't go back to the library, not wanting a repeat of last time I was there. Instead, I hung out with Angela in the cafeteria.

"Where's Ben?" I asked as I took the seat next to her. She looked confused before she spoke. "Um, I don't know." She said, frowning. That was unusual.

I scanned my eyes over the tables and he was nowhere to be found. "Huh," was all I could say. "Maybe there's foot ball practice." I murmured, she shrugged.

"How have you been, Ang?" I smiled warmly. There was an underlying tension behind her eyes. She shrugged, her eyes not meeting mine. "I'm just tired," she tried to persuade me with a yawn. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Is that all?" I asked, concerned. Something was wrong and I didn't like the way she was trying to hide it from me.

She had been there for me when I needed comfort, it was only fair that I should do the same. She sighed, pushing her food around her plate with her fork.

She stabbed a piece of tomato quite brutally. I raised an eyebrow. "I broke up with Ben." She finally admitted. My stomach flipped over and my eyes bulged out.

"You what?" I squeaked, not believing it. She nodded, glaring at the skewered tomato. "Why?" I asked, shaking my head. Ang and Ben had been together for, like, forever. She continued stabbing the food with a scowl on her usually calm face.

"He's not who I thought he was." She answered evasively.

I bit my lip and wondered what had gone wrong between them that made Ang this angry.

I put my hand on hers and she sighed and smiled tightly before pulling her hand away to stab her food some more.

I had never seen Angela so angry before, it was truly mystifying...and sad. She was a happy person, and someone was ruining that. I wanted to castrate Ben for whichever way he wronged her. "Besides, I don't think I feel as strongly about him as I used to," she added. My eyes widened even more before I quickly composed my face.

"That...sucks." I murmured, unsure of what would be offensive to her. She smiled darkly before shaking her head.

"I can't believe this," I mumbled. "You and Ben...you were so close." I breathed, still in a state of numb disbelieving. It was too surreal.

She looked up at me then, meeting my eyes. For a moment I was worried that Ben had been taken under Jacob's wing and they were both going crazy together.

She was tense and on edge—I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't seem to be doing too well in that aspect. She opened her mouth to say something. She hesitated for a moment before speaking, seeming to change her mind and asking another question. I waited. "Have you heard from Jake?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. I gritted my teeth and sighed.

"He hasn't spoke to me since he's been back, so you don't need to worry." I assured her, she nodded and sighed out in relief. Some of her tension relieved and I was glad but still reproachful as it felt like she was more worried about me than herself.

Out of the corner of my eye—I saw Edward strolling outside the windows. He came inside then, casually loping to get something to eat. I watched him surreptitiously, trying to keep a focus on Ang. Her eyes followed him and then fell back on me—my eyes on him, too. I felt a flood of fear as her eyes pierced me.

I was afraid she saw right through me after that small glance Edward and shared. I was sure she could read it on my face.

Her eyes flashed with confusion then she dropped her attention back to her massacred salad.

I sighed in relief.

**Did you enjoy? This is the longest chapter I have ever done in any of my stories :) Hope you liked the LEMON.**

**Reviews are better than...salad massacres. ;)**


	21. Sweat, baby, sweat

I gushed about Angela and Ben to Edward.

He didn't know much about them, really, other than that they were both good students. "Her work has been gradually slipping, though." He noted thoughtfully. "It's probably because of Ben." I murmured, sitting on his desk.

He placed his hands on my knees as he sat on his swivel chair. He leaned forward to rest his chin on them while he stared up at me.

"It's insane!" I hissed. "What's insane?" he asked, gazing up at me. I played with his fingers.

"Ang and Ben have been together for, I guess it's been over a year..." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"Even you have to admit, that's a long relationship for high-schoolers." I said. He nodded thoughtfully.

"I suppose it is." I sighed and ran a frustrated hand through my hair. "She looked so...angry," I mumbled. "Angela Webber _never_ gets angry, maybe this just made her snap..." I sighed. "I don't know what brought it on, either. It has to be bad." I whispered. I bit my lip.

"Well, you just have to be there for her to talk to when she's ready. That's all you really can do." He said it like he knew everything about it. Which is true, because it _was_ all I could do. Apparently, I was no good at comfort, Angela had practically repelled away from me when I tried to hold her hand.

My skin was cold, too, not exactly comforting. "How do you know all this stuff?" I asked, shaking my head in awe.

He chuckled, sitting up properly and scooting his chair closer to the desk. "Well, I guess I'm...well informed." He said, quoting my words from weeks ago. I laughed. He smiled crookedly, standing up and leaning over me. I took his face in my hands and brought his lips to mine.

And, of course, I was free to forget everything that had happened that day.

Not like I had any choice, anyway. His scent intoxicated me, leaving my breathing ragged and laboured. I imagined him taking me on his desk. I knew we could never do it here, we would make too much noise and risk getting caught. Someone would walk in wondering where the barnyard animals were.

Our lips parted and my tongue plunged into his mouth, his hands gripped my head from behind and pushed us closer so he could deepen the kiss that made me a flustered mess. I gripped his shirt in my hands, trying so fucking hard not to rip it open. He slowly decreased the fervour, gently tugging my bottom lip in his teeth. I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped my mouth. He chuckled as he pulled back, standing in front of me with another smug expression.

I glared, my nostrils flared and I wanted to teach him a lesson. I wiped my face clean of emotion, smoothed my hair and squared my shoulders.

I leaned closer to him, my knees against his hips. I wrapped my legs around his to keep him from escaping. I licked my lips—he couldn't help but catch that motion with his eyes. As he stared at my mouth I began my little revenge plan. I unbuttoned my blouse but didn't take it off. I opened it up so he could _see_.

He gulped loudly, I could tell it was working. "Mr. Cullen? Are you okay?" I asked as innocently as I could. I cocked my head to the side and bit my lip.

He glared at me and I chuckled. "You look a little...hot and bothered." I noted, trying not to smile or laugh at his pained expression. I carefully rubbed my hand over the bulge in his pants.

He went rigid, leaning away from me. I grinned mischievously. He breathed deeply and shakily, closing his eyes, probably trying to dispel the images of our last time together. Well, it serves him right for being mean. I grabbed his hand and brought it up to my chest, holding it over my breast.

His jaw clenched but his eyes stayed closed. I pushed myself off the desk so that my body rubbed against his.

He hissed, dropping his hand and opening his eyes with a defeated look in his eyes.

"That is _so_ unfair," he muttered. And it was funny because he sounded like the teenager. I grinned.

"I'm sorry, sir. Was I doing something inappropriate? My apologies." I said wide-eyed, faking apology. I went to unbutton his jeans and unzip them. I let my hand wander down his boxers until I felt his throbbing erection in my hand. "Ugh," he groaned and I could have cried with happiness.

"Ah ha! I win, bitch." I whispered, removing my hand. He huffed out an exasperated breath and watched me as I buttoned my blouse back up.

He was in need of relief—that much was obvious by the look on his face. I shrugged under his shocked expression that I was just going to leave him like that.

I grinned. "I'll see you in class...Mr. Cullen." I skipped out of his office just as the bell rang. I couldn't wait until English. I couldn't help but smile as I opened the door to our classroom.

He was sitting behind the desk—which he never did. I clamped my lips together, he must really be in pain. I wanted so badly to relieve that pain, but watching him squirm was fun. He took a deep breath before beginning with the lecture. I smiled and listened intently.

He didn't stand up once—I wonder how he made it to the room without anyone noticing?

That's when I realised he had a stack of text books with him. I tried to disguise my snorting laughter as a cough. I averted my gaze out the window, pretending to be casual. His words were often strained and shaky. I kind of felt bad about leaving him hanging like that—I didn't know what it was like being a guy.

But by the way he was acting, it must really be painful and annoying having a hard on while you were supposed to be talking about Shakespeare.

When the last bell rang, I stood up to gather my things. "Miss Swan?" he asked gruffly. I looked up and his face had a sheen of sweat over it, despite the cold weather.

I bit my lip—I was going to pay...and I couldn't wait. "Yes, Mr. Cullen?" I asked. "Just wait, I want to speak with you." He said, waiting for the last students to file out.

"But, sir, I'm meeting with my friend, Angela." I said to spite him. I was meeting with Angela, but I just had to say it even though I knew she wouldn't mind my being late. His eyes narrowed. "I'm sure _she_ can wait." He said and I knew the double meaning. Angela could wait...but he definitely couldn't.

Not any longer.

Once the room was empty apart from the two of us, there was silence. He closed the door, the only sound in the room was the click of the lock.

I slowly walked up to his desk with weak legs. Oh, I could just feel it in my bones—this was going to be good. I stopped when I was in front of him, his hands clenched into fists, a book shielding his manhood. I took the book from him and peeked down at his problem. I bit my lip to hold back the moan.

A low hiss came between his clenched teeth as I gently brushed my hand over the bulge in his pants.

He reached over to the switch on the wall, turning the light off. We could still see perfectly fine, but the loss of light made the moment even more...sensual?

It was hot. I stared up into his hooded, lust filled eyes and I could feel myself growing more moist.

Before a second had passed, we were tearing the other's clothes off, I slipped out of my shoes.

He grabbed the front of my blouse, not bothering with the buttons and instead pulling it over my head. He stripped my jeans off my legs, panties and all. He reefed my bra off and pushed me down on the desk. I gasped at his quick, desperate movements. He pulled his t-shirt off and unbuckled his belt, pulling his jeans down his legs.

I wasn't prepared and neither was he—so it caught us both surprised when he slammed his rock hard erection into me. I gasped and wailed.

"Edward!" I moaned. He got up on the desk, kneeling and with his hands gripping the edges on either side. He grunted—like a barnyard animal, funnily enough.

Tremors rocked through me and I knew I couldn't hold on for much longer. I dug my nails into his shoulders as he thrust deeper. "Shit, oh my god!" I breathed.

Our naked bodies slapped together, his hips rocking into mine, causing me to near convulsions. He slowed down then and I wondered if he had already finished.

Like he could read my mind, he said. "I'm not finished with you yet," he growled. His course words heated my skin up and made me moan.

"Don't come apart yet," he hissed into my neck. I obliged, trying desperately to hold on.

He rocked harder against me and I couldn't hold back anymore, my body tightened around him, I bit down onto his shoulder.

"Arghh!" I whimpered. He thrust again, and again, giving me another blissful climax. I gasped and arched my back off the table as he came. He was sweaty and he was breathing hard but he looked pleased at his accomplishment. And I couldn't care if I had just lost again. The urgency was dulling as he leaned down to kiss me tenderly.

His lips moved up and down my neck in gratitude. I smiled, locking my arms around his neck as he went. He got down off the desk then.

He pulled his pants up and threw his shirt back on. As he dragged me toward the edge, my butt squeaked against the shiny wood. We snickered as I hopped down and grabbed my clothes, hastily dressing and pulling my shoes back on. We giggled and laughed childishly as we gathered our belongings.

We stood at the door and he leaned his forehead against mine. "I have to stay back for a while, can you stick with Angela and go home until I'm finished?" I pursed my lips. "What if I go to your house?" I suggested, shrugging. He closed his eyes with a sigh, reaching his hands to my face. "Bella," he started in a firm voice.

"Edward," I said in a matching tone. "No-one will know I'm there, therefore I am safer. And how is Angela going to keep me safe? She's weaker than I am." I scoffed.

He bit his lip, deciding. He pushed his lips to mine once more. "Okay, but be careful and _lock_ the door once you get there." He ordered. I nodded, smiling.

"I'll be no longer than..." he pulled his wrist up to examine his watch. He sighed, clenching his jaw then staring back at me.

"Half an hour," he concluded with a grim expression. "Half an hour." I repeated. "Please stay out of trouble." He begged.

"Hey, cool it, sister. I'll be fine," He raised an eyebrow at that. "Sister?" I shrugged and he rolled his eyes, chuckling.

He opened the door for me and I fled to the parking lot. Angela was waiting for me—her eyes glued to the ground. She heard my approach, her head snapping up. She smiled and something about it was feigned. I wanted to hug her better—this break up with Ben was really getting to her.

And if something got to Angela, it got to me, too. But she obviously wasn't in the mood for my mundane human compassion skills. I smiled back at her—she looked tired and drawn.

"Hey, Ang, sorry I'm late. The teacher really rode me today."

~~~___~~~

I had explained to Angela that we couldn't do our study session after all. I had, er, previous engagements.

These were that I was supposed to go meet Charlie at the station to discuss more developments in the case.

"How could you forget something like that?" she asked in a quiet laugh—everything seemed to be an effort for her. It must suck. I just shrugged and shook my head. After waving goodbye, I hopped in my truck cab, mashing the locks down—as Edward had stressed I do more often.

I pulled out of the lot—my head clouded again with that damn desk. I my butt was still printed in sweat across the surface.

I felt my face getting hot just thinking about it. I gunned the engine down the highway, there were no other cars and I had a feeling that even if I was caught by the cops, I would just get a slap across the wrists—good ol' Charlie. I smiled to myself as I drove down the wet roads glistening with brackish rain water.

The forest swam by the windows in a green blur. The rain picked up and I had to slow a little. It was really coming down in buckets once I reached the exit to Edward's house.

I tried to concentrate on where I was going. The obscure driveway that went on for a mile leading up to his house was impossible to find, especially when it was pissing down on my windshield so hard. I sighed and slowed my truck to a crawl so I wouldn't miss it. How the ball sack am I supposed to find this fucker?

I squinted through the pelting rain—straight ahead was the gravel road. "Found it!" I exclaimed. I was glad—the paranoia that seemed to surround Edward about my safety had seemed to rub off on me somehow and I was glad I was closer to shelter. I couldn't help the uneasy feeling from settling in my stomach.

I glanced out of all my windows and brushed off the prickling feeling. I was getting worse than Edward—worried that someone was going to eat my heart out of my chest or drink my blood if I wasn't careful. But I had to admit if not to Edward than at least myself, that I _was_ being a little too carefree.

I turned into the gravel driveway, my high beams switched on to lead my way through the dim forest road.

I glanced out into the forest as I made my way up to the big white house. It didn't look evil and sinister—it looked safe and green.

It didn't look dangerous and it didn't look like it was harbouring a secret society of devil worshippers that wanted to kill me.

I shook my head and continued up the road, finally coming to an end once the meadow loomed up in front of me.

It was like my second home now. I knew this place, it belonged to us both. I sighed contentedly as I braked, pulling the handbrake on and retrieving the keys from the ignition.

I froze. I swear I had never seen that car before. I frowned to myself—a black Mercedes, very pretty and definitely _not_ Edward's was parked alongside my truck. I didn't even notice it until now. I bit my lip. What should I do? I prayed to god that it wasn't Alice Cullen—but then I remembered Edward telling me that Alice had a pretty crappy car.

She was trying to save up for a Porsche. I glared at the beautiful car. Who could it belong to? I grabbed my keys and stepped out of my truck, making a run for cover to the porch.

I wondered then if maybe I shouldn't be here. I hesitantly shoved the key in the lock—it was already open, someone could have a key...or they could have picked the lock.

Stupid paranoia. I pushed the door open, but my mind was still going over possibilities. I took a deep breath, steeling myself.

It was fine, maybe his parents bought him a new car...? What if it was what Edward had feared? What if someone was here to kill me? But who would know that I was here? And who would own such a flashy car and still be a satanic lunatic?

I gulped as I considered social services—coming to arrest Edward for sleeping with me. That almost made me try to make a run for it so I could warn him. I backed up, slowly descending the porch steps and standing out in the rain. I groaned to myself—I was being ridiculous. I shook my head, my hair dripping.

I don't know how long I stood there in the rain getting more and more cold and wet.

But finally, I flung myself up the stairs—I couldn't be outside any longer. I flew in the doorway, turning to shut the door behind me.

I peered out the window beside the door—there was no-one out there, prowling the ebbing forest or sniffing out my truck.

I needed therapy. And if social services knew about him and me, wouldn't they go to my house?

Or his work? I wondered with a frown on my face. I slowly strolled forward, shrugging out of my jacket—Edward would be home soon, then everything would be fine. I smiled and collected myself, ringing my hair out as I shuffled to the laundry closet to get a towel. I pulled on out and tried to dry out my hair.

I decided I would watch some T.V while I waited.

I made my way into the living room and yelped as I realised someone was waiting for me there.

***wiggles eyebrows* you like the cliffie? Hehehe!!**

**To my loyal reviewers, slyt, you defnitely bring something to the table--i love reading your reviews. lol. **

**And to FearGirl. I fear you, girl. LOL. You have some interesting theories and as show in my previous chapter, I gave you your request. I used 'bitch slap' twice.**

**_Edward: I seriously will bitchslap anyone who hurts you._**

**_FearGirl: HAHA!_**

**_Edward: Don't patronize me, I'm only being a good boyfriend. Sheesh._**

**_FearGirl: Awhh, that is so sweet, Eddie poo!_**

**_Edward: Damnit, woman. *blushes* That's private._**

**_FearGirl: HAHA, private! You have privates...*giggles*_**

**_Edward: *sigh*_**

**_FearGirl: You're mine now. *evil grin*_**

**_Edward: Yes, dear...I--NO! _**

**_FearGirl: *Grabs pen* I will tattoo my name across your ass... *licks lips*_**

**_Edward: NO! NO SHARPIES!_**

**_And then...well, you banged...thats how most of my stories end up, so.. there you have it. Your relationship with Edward._**

**HEHEHE LOVE YOU GUYS AND YOUR REVIEWS!**

**Reviews are better than sweaty butt marks on Edward's desk *fans self with gigantic text book***


	22. Sex is the Texas drought

**Poor Bella and Poor Edward. They don't get treated as good as Sex Edward and Sex Bella, do they? It seems almost unfair. There will be both couples in this chapter so it evens it out.**

**_Poor Bella: This sucks, why can't I be the one getting laid?_**

**_Poor Edward: Coz you're always moody and depressed._**

**_Sex Bella: Im getting laid ;)_**

**_Sex Edward: I was like, "open up" and then BAM! Done!_**

**_Poor Edward: That was a little quick._**

**_Sex Edward: Shutup! At least I'm getting me some panootch._**

**_Poor Edward: *sigh* I miss meh some panootch._**

My hand flew to my chest, it was sped up.

I could hear my pulse in my ears. "Oh my god," I breathed out—my eyes bulging out of their sockets at the woman sitting on the sofa.

She was tall, slim, tanned with reddish-blonde hair. She appraised me with a raised eyebrow—sizing me up, it looked like.

What shocked me more wasn't the fact that she was actually here, it was more about what she was wearing. A pink, lacy night dress—which came down to the tops of her thighs. She wore fluffy pink stilettos and she must have had a wonder bra on, because those warlocks were pushed up to her chin.

I gaped—shocked and sickened. "Uh," I stuttered. "Who are you?" I asked breathlessly, my hands clenching around the thick towel in my hands.

This woman...smirked at me. She stood, her heels clicking along the wooden floor boards as she approached my trembling form. The adrenaline was wearing off from my little episode on the porch. I tried to go through my self-defence techniques, if this bitch wanted to get physical—fuck, I needed to be prepared.

"I should be asking you the same question, little girl." She said in a sickly sweet voice, injecting as much acid as she could into her perfectly disguised words.

My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I'm...Isabella." I said, she would use my full name...whore. "Isabella," she repeated, reaching out to shake my hand.

I was surprised by the gesture and also wondered what she was playing at.

"I'm Tanya." She smiled warmly and I almost felt guilty for thinking she was a slutty ho bag.

"Tanya," I repeated. "What—What are you doing here...Tanya?" I stammered, still uncomprehending. She smirked. I blanched, taking my hand back and crossing my arms over my chest. But this chick had about a foot of height on me—I gulped at the thought of her taking me down, especially if she had heels.

She looked like she was capable. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for a response.

"Why, I 'm here for Eddie, of course." Her smirk turned into a grin and I felt my face flushing with anger.

"Well, he's unavailable right now—" "Don't give me that bullshit." She sneered, pointing at my face with her index finger. I swatted her hand away.

"Excuse me?" I demanded incredulously. "What do _you_ think_ you're_ doing _here_?" she repeated my question and turned it on me—almost snarling.

I took a step back—she radiated slut from her pores. I didn't want any on me. "I have more right to be here than you do." I spat, she leaned back to scan her eyes over me, her eyebrow perked. She laughed at me. "But you're just a little girl, I'm sure he's already sick of you by now. He only needed something...a hobby to fill his time while I was gone."

She smiled, a wicked glint flashing in her eyes.

"That's a lie!" I hissed. "What am I supposed to believe he even remembers you? How old are you anyway, forty?" Her smile turned into an angry sneer. "Run along little girl, the grown ups need to play." I glared at her pretty little face, seriously thinking about punching it with all my force.

"What are you, a call girl?" I snapped. I knew it obviously wasn't true, but it was ammo against her.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" she demanded. I grinned. "I have a key." I said, cocking my head to the side.

She perked an eyebrow and laughed.

"So do I. Guess you're not so special, are you, little Isabella. Now get your skinny little ass out of here. After your gone, he won't even remember you, now that I'm here, he'll throw you away like the trash you are." She hissed, leaning close to my face and invading my personal space.

I hated people invading my space—with one exception, but I wasn't so sure I would let him do that again.

The blood drained from my face as I had nothing to say back.

"Why do you think he hasn't told you about me? He needed to keep you keen so he can use you as a fuck buddy. Now you're useless, dead weight." I ground my teeth together, fighting the traitor tears that were beginning to sprout in my eyes. "Awh, are you going to cry?" she pouted her lip and placed her hands on her hips to mock me.

I glared at her fixedly for a moment, pondering everything she said. Edward hadn't told me about her, ever.

I tried to swallow the lump rising in my throat and the searing hurt that threatened to strangle me.

I wanted to call this woman every fucking curse word I knew. Because she couldn't take him from me.

He was mine and no-one else's. I didn't care that maybe he had fucked her in the past—and as much as it made me feel stupid and naive and weak, I knew that I would keep him even if he had cheated. How fucking pathetic. I took one step closer to her and tried to muster a smile. She raised her eyebrow and stared condescendingly at me.

I sighed and nodded, turning to walk away. As I turned, she snickered. I whipped back around, my fist lashing out.

Of course, she was a bit taller than expected and I was already walking away.

Instead of catching my fist in her eyes—it was her boob that caught the brunt. And boy was it a lot of brunt.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said flatly, watching as she squealed and clutched at her chest.

"Hope I didn't pop your implant." I muttered turning on my heel and storming towards the door.

As fate didn't like me very much today, I saw him skipping up the steps as I stalked forward. I took a deep breath and kept walking. His face was tense and he was anxious to get the door open. He noticed me walking towards him. I tried to keep my face clear of any emotion, but then again...those tears.

Motherfucking tears. They streamed down my face. I tried pushing past him, but he caught me before I could jump out the door.

"Get off me, I can't do this." I said, shaking my head. I couldn't do it. If I stopped and spoke to him, he was going to tell me the truth—that he slept with Tanya and that he was sorry, or that he was going to leave me. I couldn't let him do that. Like the coward I was, I wanted to run away.

"Bella!" he growled. "Stop hitting me and listen!" he hissed. I hadn't realised my fists were batting furiously against his chest.

I huffed and reluctantly met his eyes. "I don't know what she's doing here, but I'll make her leave." He said seriously—gripping my arms tightly in his hands. I was breathing heavily and my vision was blurry with tears. His fingers brushed the salty water from my cheeks before he grasped my hand and pulled me back down the hall with him.

"Who do you think you are?" he growled incredulously, his face was filled with unrelenting rage. He glared balefully at the curvy woman standing in the middle of his living room.

She leered at him from across the room and I felt like punching her in the boob again...hard.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, coming into _my_ home and insulting Bella?" he shouted.

She flinched and her gaze landed on me—a disgusted set to her mouth and eyes. Edward took a step forward, not even realising how he unconsciously put his body between me and the woman staring daggers at my head. "Get. Out." He ordered in a lower, more controlled voice. In another compartment of my brain I considered his reaction toward this woman who had merely spoken acidic words to me, making me cry.

What if he ever got his hands on Jacob? Or whoever was out to get me...?

I shuddered—knowing the outcome of one of those instances would be far from pleasant.

For me, at least. I knew for sure that Edward would relish in the moment.

Something I could hardly hold against him or call him a monster for—it is exactly how I would act if it were him in my position. I put my hand on his arm. "Edward," I said warningly—no matter how much I loathed this disgusting tramp, I didn't exactly want to see her die or Edward get charged with assault.

She rolled her eyes and picked her long trench coat up off the sofa, muttering obscenities under her breath.

She straightened the collar of the tan coat, flipping her hair before grabbing her purse and tucking it under her arm.

She stomped past me, a hiss escaping Edward's teeth as she came within inches of me.

"What has _she_ got that _I_ don't?" she grumbled as she stalked to the door. She paused with her hand on the knob—awaiting Edward's response. A response that shocked me.

"For one thing, she hasn't been ridden by a whole foot ball team...at the same time." Edward stated casually. Tanya scoffed and went to defend herself but Edward kept talking. "She isn't as loose as Thai hooker." He shrugged. I nodded and shrugged. His taunting tone took on a more serious edge.

"But overall," he started, staring at Tanya with pity clear in his eyes.

"_She_ has everything. She_ is_ everything...to me." I grinned triumphantly at her narrowed eyes—her face was thick with defeat, shame and disappointment.

"Don't break into my house again, or I'll invest in guard dogs." He threatened. She was out the door in a flash, almost breaking a heel as she trudged across the gravel to her car.

"What did she say to you?" he asked me, leaning down to meet my eyes. He looked exhausted after that little episode—the contours of his face were dark and shadowed.

His features were contorted in impatient panic. I put my hand to his face to relieve some of his stress—to calm him. He was going to get a stomach ulcer.

"I...She said I was your play thing...that you'd throw me away the first chance you got—" "Bitch," he hissed towards the door. "Relax," I said in a sigh, smoothing out the crease between his eyebrows with my finger. "I know that's not true," I whispered. The crease came back between his brows and his mouth was turned down.

"What else did she say to you?" he pressed for more information. "Well, she didn't exactly say it...but...it's obvious that you slept with her." I said and I couldn't recognise my own voice, layered thickly with possessive jealousy. "Bella," he sighed. I stared into his green eyes and I knew it was the truth.

"When, where and why?" I enquired in a business-like tone. "It started in college," he said.

"Hold on," I said, putting my finger to his lips. I grabbed his hand and pushed him down to the sofa. I crawled into his lap and laid my head against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me. "Ready?" he sighed. I nodded.

"It started in college, we were young and...well, I was...really stupid. It was only ever about the physical side of things. She knew hardly anything about me." I nodded for him to continue. His finger curled around my hair, twirling it absent-mindedly.

He leaned his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.

"She was a med student at my college in Vermont and I was studying teaching. Anyway," he shook his head. "I knew that things were never real...there were no emotions in it, no feelings. I gradually came to hate her a little bit. I broke up with her after graduation—it was expected by both parties since we were both moving away. She moved to Seattle and I moved here. Then..." I bit my lip, waiting painfully for him to tell me there was more.

As much as it might hurt me, I needed to know, regardless.

"That first month of school. With you. In my English class. When you kissed me. In the Drama room." I felt my brow come together in confusion.

"What about it?" I asked, pulling his face upright so I could look into his eyes. "She showed up here and I used it as a distraction," he muttered, his eyes ashamed.

"It didn't work, so I asked her to leave. I had hoped she had taken it as a permanent agreement that she never come back. That experience just made me hate myself more. I felt like I was betraying myself for trying to block your face out of my mind." He whispered.

He was truly sorry. And who was I to judge? Hadn't I done the _exact_ same thing—only with Jacob?

I had, and with the objective of forgetting him, of removing the memory of his face and his scent from my brain.

I had gone into a zombie-like state to try and escape him. I had lied to and used people just to gain a release, to be free of the haze that clouded my brain because of Edward. My stomach twisted at the thought of him with another woman but it was long before anything happened between us.

He hadn't berated me for the whole Jacob fiasco, he had supported me and instead kept a livid, jealous hatred toward Jacob.

It was stupid of me to doubt him—again. That made me feel guilty...again. He was trying his best to keep me safe, to keep me happy and to keep me from hurting.

I almost threw all his hard work in his face..._again_, believing a woman I barely knew over him whom I did know. When I looked into his eyes now, the veil of detachedness that he usually kept was gone in my presence. He was embarrassed and ashamed. He really appeared to hate the fact he had slept with Tanya.

I knew he didn't like how weak he had been to accept her back then—letting her try to replace the spot in his mind that was reserved for me, which had been created against his will. Seeing his pain and humiliating punctured through my chest and I buried my face into the crook of his neck.

"Oh, Edward." I mumbled against his skin. We didn't talk after that. His hands didn't stop their slow movements up and down my back. I didn't take my face away from it's position on his shoulder. I turned my face to place a kiss on his neck. Watching Edward's pain was like watching an angel get stabbed.

It was like a puppy getting kicked around. It was like stepping on a kitten. It was like someone throwing a pony into an industrial sized lawn mower.

Whatever horrible analogy I used seemed to sum it up perfectly. He explained everything, all he did before we got together—it was _for_ me.

He tried to fill the place in his heart and his mind that longed for me. I found myself growing elated at the fact he already felt that strong desire for me even weeks after first meeting. I hadn't been the only one to feel it. It made my heart swell in my chest. I couldn't blame or ridicule him for trying to resist his temptations for the both of us.

At least he tried. But, I guess it was a wasted effort. "It's okay." I promised him. He pulled his face back to look at me, to see if I was only saying that to comfort him.

"I did things to try to stop this, too." His muscles in his jaw clenched and his arms tightened around me as if he thought someone was going to take me away from him. I ran my hand through his hair to placate him. At least I was good at soothing Edward, if not anyone else. He sighed, his breath fanning deliciously across my face.

"It's always been you," he murmured, breaking my rhythm. "What?" I asked curiously. "What do you mean?" A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"I don't know. It's just, I feel like I've been waiting for you for so long—never being able to appreciate anyone else this way because I was holding out for you, Bella." My eyebrows slanted upwards, I smiled, touched. "For me... there is only you. No-one, not any other woman, not _Tanya,"_ He hissed.

"Will ever be able to fill your place." I smiled then stood up from the couch. He frowned at my movements, his hands still reached out toward me.

I put a knee on either side of his lap and sat down, straddling him. He traced his finger tip along my bottom lip.

Why was he so good to me?

How did he stand spending his time with—by societal beliefs at the age of seventeen, a child?

Sometimes I felt so immature around him.

Believe me, I knew I had so much growing up to do—much more than him.

And yes, I also believed he wasn't fully matured yet, either.

Neither were most people his age—he was only just settling into life outside the comforting circle known as young adulthood, still surrounded with support and nurturing by parents. Of course there were exceptions to that rule, but the principle applied to a vast majority of people his age.

They were adapting—they were transitioning into their independence. I envied him in some ways.

He took my face in his hands, pulling me down to his. Our lips barely touched, yet it sent a shudder through my frame. The tip of his tongue lightly glided along my lip.

I sighed into his mouth, pressing my lips closer. His hands combed through my hair, pulling me tighter against him. Being with Edward—I always got lost in him. Life was messy and chaotic, his touch...it was the antidote. I leaned against him more eagerly. I didn't know why it happened to me or how, but I was irreversibly bound and altered.

I had a feeling Edward may have a tendency to have that effect. But he promised he had never felt this—what we had together—with anyone else in his life.

I felt shameful for even thinking those words. I moaned quite audibly as his warm finger tips grazed lazily up my back, under my blouse.

"You're so beautiful," he said in between the movements of our hungry lips. The fever within me was burning rapidly, threatening to break the surface.

Our physical connection was as strong as our emotional one. I had dreamt of feelings such as these. I had dreamt of love like this—my imaginings were of an all-consuming passion, except, compared to reality, my fantasies were dull and lacked, well, the actually feeling. Experiencing this was beyond anything I had once dreamed of.

This was mind-blowing power, teeth shattering, coma-inducing...it was everything and more.

My hips rocked against him and he groaned, grasping my hair and tilting my head back. His lips met my neck, kissing and licking his way down to my collar bone. I gasped in surprise when he gently nipped the skin there. My moan made him shudder, the bulge in his pants becoming more pronounced.

I could feel it underneath me—my body reacting to it. "Again?" I asked hopefully as he trailed a line of kisses up and down my throat.

His slight stubble tickled my skin—it felt so good. He paused and pulled his face back to grin mischievously. I grinned back then pursed my lips, glancing around at the narrow sofa we sat on. "Here?" He shook his head. "Bedroom?" He shook his head, smiling. Before I could even ask, he swept me up in his arms and I squealed, laughing playfully.

Instead of heading up the stairs, like I had assumed—wrongfully. He carried me into the... "The kitchen?" I asked doubtfully, eyeing the limited space.

How and where, exactly, were we going to do this? I gasped as he pushed me onto the cold granite counter. I raised an eyebrow, still grinning with excitement.

He gently spread my legs apart, standing between them. The fierce longing crackled like static between our barely touching bodies. I closed the distance, placing my hand flat over his chest—above his steadily beating heart. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, the tip of my nose and my lips before placing his ear above my heart...listening intently. So simple...so intimate...so tender. Actions spoke for words. I pulled his face back up to mine, catching his lip between mine.

I grinned against his mouth as his hands sought out the buttons to my cotton blouse. He was too eager to manage the buttons without breaking them—the shirt was torn off.

No other option, apparently. Before long, we were both naked. In the heat of the moment—I seriously lost track of who tore who's clothes and if I had any still intact to go home in.

My hair stuck to my forehead with sweat—my whole body waited impatiently for him. He panted against my neck, kissing and trailing his tongue.

His body was quivering with anticipation. "Hurry," I whispered into his ear. "Fuck. Me. Now." I ordered, surprised at my sharp order—nothing like me at all.

It scared and excited me. He pulled back, only to push me down on the cold counter top, my heated skin against the low temperature made me gasp.

He grabbed my ankle roughly—I loved the new urgency, the roughness. Holy shit, what was I becoming?

_A slutty McSluttyson. _I couldn't care right at that moment.

_Kind of sounds like a burger._

I was brought back to the situation immediately as he pulled me further down the counter, closer to him, before propping my ankle on his shoulder. This new position had me yearning for more contact—I was panting, unable to wait any longer.

With a throaty groan, he entered me. I gasped, my hands stretching out to grab the sides of the bench. He plunged into me with force—I moaned and whimpered. One hand held my leg on his shoulder, the other grasped my hip, guiding him into me with each thrust.

Beads of sweat dewed on his forehead as he worked me harder and harder. I pushed myself up onto my elbows loving the sight of it.

I watched, biting down hard on my lip as he rocked his hips against me. The image of our bodies connected and moving together—it would be burned in my mind forever, like so many other moments I had experienced with this man.

"Fuuuck, Edward!" I panted, groaning and arching my back off the table, moving my hips toward him so he could gain better access. Go deeper. I gasped as he accomplished what I wanted. My arms moved above me, a fruit bowl and a wooden cutting board clattered to the floor—I hardly noticed.

Everything around me burned. "I'm so close!" I moaned. "I can't hold on much longer, Bella." Edward said breathlessly as he pumped faster.

My fist flew to my mouth—more groaning. My arms flailed out above me—I heard the shattering of some glass falling off the counter. The destruction, the spontaneous moment, it made it all the more hotter. He was pushing me to the edge. His hand pulled my leg off his shoulder and pulled my trembling body upright—our bodies still connected, where it counted. He stepped backward, sitting down on a chair leant up against the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen.

I whimpered and groaned as I felt him go deeper when I was on top. I rocked back and forth, his fingers digging in painfully at my hips.

I grabbed the back of the wooden chair with shaky, determined hands while he leaned his face forward, his lips and tongue circling my nipples.

I gripped the chair tighter as I reached my climax—it ripped through me, my body tightening and shuddering as I sat on top of Edward.

His hand fisted in my hair, his head falling back as I felt him come apart inside me. I breathed out shakily—holy mother of fuck.

Edward trailed his lips across my breasts, kissing up and down my stomach before kissing my lips. He pushed my hair from my sweaty face.

We were still catching our breath, relaxing into one another, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist. My lips pressed against his forehead. The sounds of the outside world filled my ears then. The rain outside, sheeting down on the other side of the glass windows that exposed the vast backyard to us. It was growing dark—almost black sky.

I looked over my shoulder, silently assessing the collateral damage. I bit my lip and looked back at Edward—our eyes level now that I was on his lap.

I put my arms around his neck. "I think I shattered some of your glasses that were on the counter," I said, cringing. He chuckled.

"I'll buy new ones." He shrugged, unfazed. I laughed with him—the air in the room changing from tense to light-hearted in a matter of seconds. As I smiled at him, my fingers playing in his hair, the back of my neck prickled. The familiar feeling from this afternoon, of being watched—something moved out of the corner of my eye. A black, shrouded figure.

I gasped, my head whipping around to catch a better glimpse. Edward reacted instantly. "What is it?" he demanded, turning my face to his with his hand. My mouth hung open.

"I think I just saw someone outside," I mumbled, unable to blink.

***shifty eyes* yes, yes, it's getting quite annoying with the cliffies, isn't it? I promise I won't disappoint next chappie :)**

**Love your reviews!**

**Lethar, honey, baby, sweetie--you are da BOMB (in a more normal description= awesome)**

**LOL. That was kinda creepy wasn't it? LOL Oh well, i dont care, as long as you keep reading-all of you!**

**Reviews are better than, you know what? fuck it, reviews cant be better than sex with edward in the kitchen, so I'm just gonna say, reviews are better than AIDS...or pancreatitis...Yeah...**


	23. Solitary dimness

**Here is the follow up from the cliffie last chappie :) LOVE THE REVIEWS! BYE BYE!**

He lifted me off of him gently, squeezing my hand before peeking out the window to investigate.

He moved to the far corner then hastily grabbed his jeans from the floor, pulling them on in one swift movement.

I grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it over my head and pulling my panties and jeans back on. He moved along the window, staring out into the rain. He glanced back at me. "I'll just go check outside. Stay here." He ordered stiffly. I nodded, hugging my arms around myself as he disappeared outside the sliding door.

Thunder bellowed, causing me to jump nervously. The room was too dark. I searched frantically for the light switch.

What if someone saw us? Who would be stalking outside Edward's house? I was shaking tremendously, unable to calm down.

I couldn't hear or see Edward. I heard nothing but the thunder and saw nothing but the lightning.

My hands moved to the wall, encountering a plastic rectangle. I flipped the switch, the room illuminating.

I breathed a sigh of temporary relief, my fear and paranoia subsiding for the moment.

I tip-toed out into the dark living room, turning the switch on in there too. Once I reached the light in the hall, turning it on, all the lights blinked off. Leaving me in solitary dimness.

I hastily made my way around, coming back into the living room to wait for Edward. I heard the front door slam close. I swallowed my fear.

"Edward," I sighed, rounding the corner and almost running down the hall. The hall was empty, the door closed.

The thunder clapped loudly—it was the thunder I heard, not the door. I sighed, rubbing my hands up and down my arms to rid my skin of the goose bumps. I slowly made my way back to the kitchen, my feet encountering muddy puddles on the pale floor. I lifted my eyes, a terrified shriek falling from my lips.

I didn't even look back to see if the person in black followed. I ran. I ran like the fucking wind. But, unlike normal people—I can't stay vertical for extended periods of time, being that of more than two minutes. I slipped on the watery floor boards, slipping. I screamed as a hand grabbed me by the back of the hair.

I tried twisting around so I could be on my back, a less vulnerable position when I had my arms and legs free to protect myself.

I wrenched my foot out toward the black clothed man—he wasn't very muscular, he was lean but tall, his face covered with a black balaclava.

Tall enough that he could probably have the upper hand.

And, I was scared; he already had me pinned on the ground.

"Get off me!" I shrieked, kicking at them. They stayed silent, no growled threats, no talking at all.

My foot connected with his stomach and I thought I heard a crunching sound. Victory! I had used enough force to possibly fracture or even break a rib or two. He swore quietly before fleeing. The front door slammed against the wall, I heard footsteps coming toward me. I wailed and covered my face with my arms.

"Bella!" Edward shouted, falling to his knees beside me. His arms came around me then—he was soaking wet, his skin cold.

"Bella! Are you okay?" he asked anxiously, his hands moving over my frantically, checking for broken bones or any signs of bleeding.

I was just shaking hard—my head spinning. I grasped at his skin, clinging off of his shoulders as his eyes still scanned my possibly damaged body. He held my face in his hands. "What happened?" he demanded—he was barely collected, I could feel his anger and panic.

"I-I...someone—someone came in the f-front d-door!" I stuttered in a shaky, breathless voice, turning to point to where I meant.

"I was in the living room..." I sniffed and tried holding back the terrified sobs. I would never take Edward's rules for granted ever again.

Someone was still out to get me. "The door slammed and I came out, thinking it was you—" I cut off to wail, my tears choking off my sentence.

Edward's hands left my face. He stood up—I could tell from his face that he was far from impressed. He stormed to the front door, slamming it closed and locking it. He ghosted back into the kitchen. I heard the sliding door open further and I imagined Edward poking his head out.

I heard it slide close then and he came back into the room. He sat down on the floor where I still lay—shaking violently. He pulled me to his chest. I gasped in his scent, it was all that helped me breathe properly. "It's alright, now. I'll never let anyone hurt you." He vowed in a rough voice.

He was severely upset and I could tell that. But I was in no state to care for him.

Besides, he would refuse help anyway and order me to take better care of myself and not to worry about him when he didn't need to be worried about. He would put me first, no matter what—it was comforting yet horrifying at the same time.

As much as it made me happy to know he loved me that much—to risk his own life for me—it still battered my heart around in my chest. Knowing that if he ever came face to face with whoever was trying to kill me, and he got hurt...or worse, well, I don't think I could keep living.

To know he did it all for me—it would just ruin me inside. People like Edward needed to exist in this world—they were innately good people with big hearts and intellectual minds. It was impossible not to see the light they exuded. "What do we do now?" I mumbled against Edward's shoulder. He pulled my face back to stare me in the eyes.

I could tell he was having an internal battle—a war of emotions between his desire to hold me and comfort me when I was scared, and the need to protect me and wage vengeance against who caused the fear in the first place. "What do you mean?" he asked, holding my face firmly. I bit my lip to stop it trembling.

"What are we going to do? Do we tell the police? We can't exactly do that, can we?" I said, my voice on the edge of hysteria.

Someone had attacked me and I couldn't even report it, I couldn't let the police know, or my father. In doing that, I would be getting Edward into more trouble than the intruder who tried to attack me. I would be forfeiting our secret, something that I would hold locked in my heart until the grave if need be—which wouldn't be necessary once I was graduated. It was almost September anyway, I would be eighteen soon enough.

Although in my eyes, soon enough, wasn't soon enough.

"Maybe...we..._should_..." Edward offered, shrugging.

I blanched at his resolve. How could we do that? Edward would get fired, we would both be humiliated—him more so than me (the apparently innocent party, the victim). He may face criminal charges and Charlie would be so disappointed in me—I don't know if I could live with that.

It made my heart ache to think about. I was his only daughter, betraying his trust would be unforgivable.

"What are you talking about?" I whispered, staring in bewilderment. "We can't do that!" I hissed.

He sighed, letting my face go and letting his arms snake around my waist.

"We have to put you first...my job...is irrelevant." I scoffed—surprised at how blasé I sounded after that confrontation. Behind his eyes, I could see the conflicting emotions—the dread at letting people know about us then the fear for my life. I could see it all when I looked as deep as I did now. It was hard to believe I once thought his mind was an impenetrable wall.

Then again, he was blocked off back then—to hide himself when he thought he was protecting himself from me and the temptation I supposedly brought.

"You can't do that." I said honestly. "You know you can't." He was becoming more sure of his idea to tell everything to everyone.

I tried the guilt card on him—I was desperate and I knew it was harsh and cruel, but...what could I do? He wanted to expose us, we wouldn't be able to be together after that. He would be ruining his life just for me. It made me nauseated. "You-you can't." I said, grasping at straws. I pulled out my secret weapon.

"If you do, people will know and we can't be together after that. They'll take me away from you. I can't be away from you." I said desperately, my tears splashed on his t-shirt I wore.

"You will lose your job! You'll be publicly reprimanded and humiliated! People will always think of you as the dirty, cradle snatching teacher who fucked his seventeen year old student—the Police Chief's daughter, I might add. I always be seen as either the pitiful victim who was taken advantage of—"

He cut me off. "Maybe that's what I did." "That's bullshit, and you know it." I scolded.

"Don't you _dare_ take this blame on yourself. It was as much my fault as it was yours." I reminded him angrily.

"I will always be thought of as that victim, the pitiful victim, or the slut. The slutty senior who was stupid enough to go and bang her teacher—_on the school campus_! Then, when everyone knows, you know what Charlie will do. He will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you get locked up. He'll probably invest so much energy into doing that, because finding my could-be-killer is proving too hard. I'll be out in the open, a sitting duck. And you won't be there. I won't have you with me."

My breathing was almost hyperventilating as I realised how true my explanation was.

It was exactly what I expected Charlie to do, and without Edward—the stress from the fall out of our secret and from trying to keep safe from attacks, I would be a nervous wreck. I wouldn't be able to live my life—I would _always be afraid._ His resolve wavered—I could see it happen before my eyes. His face softening.

His face tightened into a painful grimace before he buried his face in my neck. "I only want to keep you safe. I don't care about me anymore." He whispered into my skin.

I sighed, knowing I'd won. "I know you do. But we can't do it that way—it won't help." I said and he kissed my shoulder.

He stood up then, picking me up with him and cradling me in his arms. "I'm not hurt." I promised him in a less than promising tone of voice.

He ignored me, carrying me up the dimly lit staircase. It was just past dusk—too dark. He sat me down on his bed and turned to rummage through his draws.

He produced a small luggage bag—like an overnight bag. I stared in confusion. He started filling it with a set of clothes before pulling a shirt on and a hoodie.

He pulled his jeans off and I bit my lip as I watched him pull on another pair along with some boxers.

He disappeared into the bathroom and within the blink of an eye, he was throwing the bag over his shoulder and picking me up. "What are you doing?" I asked, my brows furrowing. He managed a smile—if not my crooked smile, it was at least a smile. He swept me up in his arms.

"We're having a sleep over."

~~~___~~~

I cooked dinner for Charlie while Edward scoped my house from the outside—luckily the rain had relented into a soft drizzle.

He had a rain jacket on anyway. I had stowed Edward's clothes under my bed after getting home. I hoped no-one would report a suspicious man snooping outside our house to Charlie.

To take extra precautions, he had left his car down the end of the street so it wasn't parked in our driveway when Charlie arrived home. I had went around the doors and windows, securing the locks and latches—no-one was getting into this fortress.

It was a sickening feeling, pondering what had happened earlier.

Just a mere hour ago. I stirred the pot of curry, waiting for the rice to finish boiling.

The window above the sink was fogged with the steam coming off the hot food. I sighed, turning the gas off. Someone obviously knew about Edward and I, now, if they didn't already know. I guess it didn't really matter if they did, because if they told—we would have no other choice but to reveal them as well.

I thought over that some more and realised what a dense bitch I was. We couldn't fucking reveal them if we didn't know who it was. And if our secret was told to the whole town, it would be near impossible to find out who the information originated from.

I folded my arms across my chest and leant back against the counter. I served dinner up once Charlie got home, and Edward was safely hidden in my bedroom, around seven...again.

No news...again.

I sighed as I pushed my food around my plate.

"Something bothering you, hon?" Charlie asked in a concerned tone.

I looked up into his brown, ageless, eyes. "No," I murmured.

"Just a long day. I'm really tired." It wasn't a lie—I _was_ tired. Although sexual escapades had been known to take it out of you.

"Sorry if I'm not much of a party tonight, Dad." I apologised half-heartedly. He shook his head, chuckling softly. "Better turn in early, then?" he suggested, shovelling more food into his mouth. "Yeah," I sighed morosely, yet eager to get back to my room...and Edward. I dumped my plate in the sink with a promise to do the dishes in the morning.

It was a Friday anyway. "Night, Dad." I said by seven-thirty. "Where did you get that hoodie?" he asked curiously, his head poking over the back of the couch.

I gulped. _Fuck a goat!_ _I'm so screwed! _Edward had leant me a grey hoodie from his bag, my jacket being still soaked in water from standing in the rain for so long.

"Uh," I stuttered. What the fuck was I supposed to say? He raised an eyebrow. "Um, my jacket was soaking wet...so...uhh..." I racked my brain.

I needed a patsy, someone to use as an excuse. Who's hoodie would I use? Angela's? It was too big, and too obviously a man's hoodie. I sighed. If Edward heard this, he would not be happy. "It's Alec's. He let me borrow it. My jacket got soaked today..." I waved my hand dismissively.

"Slush fight in the parking lot." I shrugged and turned to run upstairs. "Night, Bells!" he called from the sofa, not confused by my weird sleeping habits.

I tended to go to bed a lot earlier these days anyway. I brushed my teeth and hair then skipped to my room. Edward was lying, sprawled across my bed, a book in his hand. He had a bored expression. I smiled, plucking the book from his grasp and throwing it onto my desk next to my ancient computer. I snuggled in closer to his chest.

"Alec, aye?" he said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see. He tugged one of the cords hanging off the front.

"What a nice gesture, for him to lend you his hoodie." He said, a sour edge to his voice. "Would you have preferred me tell him it was yours? It's no big deal. It was a lie, Edward. You know what a little white lie is, don't you?" I asked mockingly. He scowled at the ceiling before turning his blazing eyes on me and sighing.

"Jealousy's a bitch." He murmured.

~~~___~~~

Edward cradled me in his arms all night. He hugged me closer and smoothed my hair whenever I would jolt awake from a nightmare or remember the moment my attacker had his hands on me that afternoon. He was there for me, keeping me safe and sane.

I fell into an easier sleep by the time he had calmed me down, lulling me into my slumber by humming a soft, unfamiliar tune.

I awoke to a brighter room, Edward was still beside me, still asleep. I smiled—thankful that I had him next to me the entire night.

It was early—really early, but not nearly enough for Charlie to still be home. I turned my alarm off—it was Saturday today and the thought had me breathing a sigh of relief. I wanted to stay in this bed forever, however, my body had other ideas. Like, say, the overpowering need to pee.

I shifted uncomfortably then decided I would quietly slip out and be back before Edward noticed my absence.

I didn't want to wake him—he looked like he was in such a peaceful place. I didn't want to take away his only chance to escape our demons.

He had done so much for me already, I should return the favour, no matter how trivial. I carefully slipped out of under his arm which had been draped over my waist.

I cringed at every squeak the mattress made at my movements. He stirred and I paused, half out of bed. He fell back asleep and I slowly got to my feet, opening the door and fleeing to the bathroom desperately. After I was finished, I brushed my teeth.

I ghosted back into my room where he lay undisturbed. He looked perfect.

From the subtle curve of his lips, his tousled bronze hair—sexy in any disarray—his perfect skin, that chiselled jaw... I sighed, putting a stop to my ogling.

I hesitantly sat down, the springs creaked. I watched Edward's face as I pulled my legs back up and lay down next to him. He was so tall next to me.

I rested my head against his chest and my feet still came down to his shins. His feet dangled off the edge of my bed. His stubble brushed against my forehead, tickling my skin. I carefully placed my hand on his waist. His arm searched for me then, snaking around my waist and pulling me closer effortlessly. I couldn't fall asleep again, so I just...watched.

It was so fascinating, his face was so quiet and so...relaxed. There was no anger, no emotions what so ever. He made me happy, he made me feel things so intense it was baffling.

I knew that this only happened to a few people—my mother, for one, she had fallen in love with Phil—so deeply and irreversibly. I know that because I was an outsider then and am a participant now, that I could be biased, but...what we shared, Edward and I, it was so different. So much the same as what love is, yet so unique it was nearly unfathomable.

Maybe I was just love struck, and I was in the stage where you think the sun shine's out the other person's ass. But there was a part in my head...and my heart, that told me it was definitely more. So much more. _I _had been given so much more by getting Edward. The world works in mysterious ways.

I watched in awe, the image before me: the man I would walk to the ends of the Earth for, the man I would run through fire for, the one who had my heart without me giving it to him...the man I loved.

**This was a really loved up scene at the end wasn't it? Sheesh, I think I'm losing my smutty edge.**

**BOOB COCK BALLS--nah, i think I got it. It's all good peoples, you can relax!**

**This chapter didn't actually have ANY smut...WOW. I'm surprised with myself, actually.**

**Well, just to tide you over in that department...should I make another funny end note?**

**I think I will....**

**_Edward: WHAT?! No smut? Biro Bird, what the fuck are you on these days?_**

**_BiroBird: *pats Edward's arm* Hush little darling. You can't expect me to get you laid in EVERY chapter, no matter how delicious you are._**

**_.....*runs off into janitor's closet*....._**

**_5 mins..._**

**_10 mins...._**

**_24 hours...._**

**_Birobird: *opens door with sheepish smile* He's pretty much good to go. *wink*_**

**_Edward: Shit aye! You were like "do it" And I was like, "But i'm with Bella!" then you were like, "Bella's out of town, probably banging Jacob *shrugs*" Then I was like BAM BAM BAM--24 HOURS straight._**

****thud** Biro Bird collapses from severe sexual exhaustion.**

**:D **


	24. Mine

**Have fun with this one, this one is more playful...well, up until the end. In this chappie they don't so much as fuck..they MAKE LURRVE. which is sweet. but fear not, they will get back to the fucking. ;) If thats what your into. **applause for birobird and her smutty techniques****

Later that morning I was met with an unexpected invitation.

"Let's go to Port Angeles." Edward said nonchalantly. I choked on my cheerios. My face went red after inhaling the milk. "What? Go to Port Angeles as in, _go to Port Angeles?!_" I demanded incredulously. He was nodding as he sipped some coffee.

"But—what are you-y-you—craziness!" I spluttered. He smirked, trying to muffle his laughter into his coffee mug. I stared at him, wide-eyed. Has he lost the plot? Have I driven him truly insane? "What if we get caught?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. I waited for him agree...but he didn't.

"Relax, no-one will catch us. And if we see someone, well, we'll just pretend we ran into each other." He shrugged casually while gazing at my shocked face.

I shook my head to clear it. I frowned down at the shiny table top. I bit my lip—I really wanted to spend some time outside of town with Edward.

I wanted more than anything to have a normal relationship, one that people could now about.

I wanted to go on a real date with him—we had never been on one the entire time we've been together. As he stared, I could see his expression shift from persuading to victorious. He knew I would agree, probably assuming what I was thinking—that I wanted a date.

I wanted to act normal for once—without sneaking, if only for a few hours.

I couldn't help the smile that tugged up the corners of my mouth.

I ducked my head to keep him from seeing. I heard his chuckled—he reached his hand over the table to pull my chin up. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Fine," I relented. He grinned before leaning over further, planting a kiss on my waiting lips. I abandoned my bowl of cereal and stood up.

He smiled and held his arms out for me as I sat down on his lap. His arms snaked around me, holding me tight against his chest.

I kissed his neck. "Where are we going to go?" I prodded. I felt his body shake as he chuckled.

"Where would you like to go?" he asked me, rubbing my back. "Hmm..." I breathed, pondering this.

"Not the movies." I stated. He nodded. "Um...how about...we have lunch at La Bella Italia...?" I said it like a question—waiting for his approval. His lips turned up into that breathtaking crooked smile. I tried to return it, but my smile just came out in a lop-sided grimace.

He laughed and kissed me again, very gentle. I grinned and stood up from his lap, pulling him upstairs.

"I need to get dressed," I said in a playful voice. He grinned excitedly as I grabbed his hand and towed him into my bedroom.

I stopped at my closet doors, letting his hand drop. I sighed and opened the white painted wood. I tapped my chin—it seemed to be a habit I couldn't control, the same as biting my lip. I pulled my shirt over my head, throwing it in Edward's face. I stripped my little sleeping shorts off then, the blue cotton fell to my ankles.

I stepped out of them and kicked them behind me. I was fully exposed to the world—well, Edward—a part from a pair of plain white panties.

I folded my arms over my chest and bit my lip, scanning my scarce selection of tasteful, going-out clothes. I smiled as I felt his hands on my hips, his mouth trailing kisses over my shoulders. He brushed my hair back from my neck and explored his way up to my jaw line. Something caught my eye.

I reached forward to grab a knee length, white skirt. I threw it behind me, hoping it landed on my bed. As Edward's hands made little shapes against my skin and his lips kept moving up and down my neck—I found a matching top, a turquoise coloured blouse that had been hiding behind my jeans.

I held it against me to see how it looked—I hadn't worn it in a while.

"That's a pretty colour," Edward noted, his teeth grazing against my ear lobe.

His hands moved slowly but purposely up my stomach to my bare chest.

I dropped the blouse on the floor, turning around and stretching up on my toes to kiss him.

He was moving slower than usual—the fear of getting caught from every other time we were together kept us from taking our time. I was grateful that he was here with me today. I sighed as I felt his finger tips graze the skin down my back, twirling through my hair, our lips parting. Slow and gentle—sensual.

My hands moved slowly down his stomach, to the hem of his shirt. He shuddered as my fingertips moved under the fabric. I pulled the clothing over his head and threw it to the corner of my room. He took a step back and pulled me with him. He lifted me up so that my feet were no longer touching the floor.

He carefully lay me down on the bed, my head on the pillow—as if I was some extremely breakable china doll.

I unbuttoned his jeans and he pulled them off—boxers and all. He lay down next to me on his side, his hand coming up to my face stroking my hair down my back. He let his fingertips explore down my chest, to my ribs then my navel. I splayed my fingers through his bronze locks, pulling his lips to mine again.

He shifted slightly so he was now on top of me, I could feel him at my entrance. His fingers were still making delicate little patterns across my skin, raising goose bumps in their wake.

I shuddered. His hands came to rest at my hip bones—his fingers hooking into the frabric before slowly tugging them down my thighs to my ankles.

We were fully naked and barely touching—yet the moment was so passionate. He wasn't looking at my with lust-filled eyes.

He was looking at me like I was his personal sun, like I was a lotto prize, like all his happiness was embodied into me. He looked at me lovingly and it made my heart swell so much I could feel it strain against my ribs. He gently lowered his body and slid into me.

His mouth connected with mine once more, kissing me tenderly and determinedly before travelling down my jaw to my throat. His hips rocked into mine again and again, slowly and gently. This wasn't just a normal fuck, this was making love. I smiled up at him before closing my eyes, feeling the intoxicating scent and atmosphere of him take me over. The emotions that built up in me were surfacing, overwhelming me with their vast intensity.

Our breathing was heavy and ragged, his lips never left my body.

My fingers never left his hair. I could feel the surge of pleasure hit me—it was like never before, not more powerful, per say, it was so different.

It held with it, an extreme sense of happiness and euphoria. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I wanted to wipe them away before he noticed.

I shuddered and clenched around him, gasping and whimpering into his shoulder. He groaned before finding his own release inside of me. He kissed up and down my body, over my stomach, my breasts, my throat, my collar bones, my chin, my nose and my cheeks. He pulled back with a worried look on his face when he saw the tears glistening in my eyes.

His brow came together and his eyes widened. "Did I hurt you?" he demanded, his hand moving to cup my cheek.

His thumb stroked under my eyes, wiping away my tears.

I shook my head and smiled, leaning into his hand.

"I'm...I'm just...happy." I stuttered and laughed nervously at myself. I sounded so sappy and stupid. He chuckled before wrapping his arms around my waist and rolling us over so I was leaned against his chest. He kept brushing my hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear as he stared at me. "So am I." He whispered, kissing my forehead. I planted a kiss on his lips then moved down his neck to his chest. He sighed.

"Thank you." I murmured against his skin before moving back up to his stubble covered jaw.

"For what?" he asked, puzzled. I smiled again.

"For...everything."

~~~___~~~

The highway was practically empty on our hour long drive to Port Angeles. We left at eleven thirty, in time to eat at twelve thirty when we arrived there.

Edward parked just outside the restaurant. I smiled shyly as he took my hand in his, leading me up the quaint little walk way, surrounded with rose bushes that led to the entrance. He pulled me up the steps and to the glass door where a waitress stood behind a desk.

The interior was beautiful, an authentic Italian setting. The tables were swathed with dark red table cloths, on each round table were small glass vases with a single rose inside. The walls were painted an off white colour through most of it and maroon on some walls. The floor was a dark teak colour, polished.

We stood at the front desk where the person working would usually ask for reservations.

The woman behind it would have to be no more than three years younger than Edward.

She was blonde with blue eyes, beautiful, really. It made me feel like an ogre.

An insecure ogre. She eyed me pitifully before beaming at Edward with false innocence. I struggled to keep from rolling my eyes.

"Can we have a table for two, please." He murmured in that beautiful voice of his. She blinked and for a moment I thought she was going to pass out on us—that is, until she breathed again. She smiled, her eyelids fluttering before she motioned for us to follow her. "This way," she grinned, walking us to a booth.

We sat down on either side so we could face each other, the candle on the table flickered, casting an ambient yellow glow across the table. "Thank you." Edward smiled before turning his face back to me.

"Let me know when you're ready to order." She grinned again at the side of Edward's face. I smiled at her but she ignored me. My face fell and I frowned. I sighed and faced Edward with a sour expression.

"I hate people," I muttered.

He chuckled.

"You like people, Bella. You just don't like her," he motioned to the retreating waitress with her dumb blonde-ness. I shrugged. "She was rude, not a very good representation of the hospitality industry." I said as if I was critiquing her.

Edward grinned, shaking his head. "She seemed polite to me," he murmured. I narrowed my eyes.

"Yes, well, she _spoke_ to you and _smiled _at you. What did you expect, with me as a comparison?" His eyes narrowed then and I shut my mouth.

"Bella, I've told you before, the male species is very aware of you. Even if they weren't, you're far more beautiful than anyone I know." I rolled my eyes and snorted but I couldn't help the blush that spread across my cheeks when he praised me. "Besides," He said in an off-hand manner.

"I prefer brunettes." He winked and that only made me blush deeper, to his amusement.

The blonde girl came back out again, approaching our table with a basket of breadsticks.

She smiled at Edward whom I raised an eyebrow at—and pulled her pen and notepad from her pocket.

"Are we ready now?" she asked sweetly. Too sweetly, I thought with malice.

I cleared my throat and waited for her to reluctantly turn to me. "I'll have the mushroom ravioli, and a coke, please." I smiled—trying for politeness.

She didn't return the smile, if anything, she sneered. I glared over at Edward as he ordered—same thing as me. "See?" I demanded after she had left the table. "I smiled and she didn't even smile back..." I sighed. "What a bitch." Edward pressed his lips together to keep from smiling or bursting out into hysterical laughter.

"I don't see what's so funny about this," I said, turning my face away to stare at some oil paintings on the wall.

There was one of the Tuscan landscape, three dark figures standing on a castle balcony. It was quite beautiful.

"Here we are," a low voice murmured. I jumped, looking up to notice a guy around my age handing our food to us.

He was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, maybe he was the waitress's brother or something. He gave Edward his plate then turned to me, a dazzling smile in place. I smiled back—at least some people were polite. "Is that all I can get you?" he asked warmly. I glanced back at Edward who was glaring at the wall. I smiled again at the boy.

"Yes, thank you." He was playing with his pen when it slipped from his grasp and landed at my feet. "Oh," I said, leaning over to pick it up.

"Here," I said, handing it to him. He grinned and winked. "I'll be back with your drinks." He said before disappearing. I grabbed a breadstick and moved my eyes back up to Edward who looked...livid. I frowned. "What?" I said around my breadstick. He snapped his between his fingers and I had a feeling he was thinking about snapping something or someone else. "If he drops his pen again, don't pick it up." He said in a low, flat voice.

I knew that voice—he was jealous. I raised an eyebrow.

"Relax, Edward. Jeeze, he dropped his pen, at least he was polite to you." His teeth came together and he dropped his breadstick, sighing. I tried to salvage the conversation. "Tell me something about yourself." I said, spearing some ravioli. He raised his eyes and smiled. Good. "What do you want to know?" he enquired warily.

I shrugged. "What's Vermont like?" Our conversation took off from there, I barely noticed the boy coming back with our drinks.

We finished slowly, chatting about everything—we never spoke about the attack yesterday, he knew how it upset me.

And what was the point of added stress? When the boy—Riley—came back with our cheque, Edward went rigid.

I frowned apprehensively at him as I pulled my purse out. "Bella, no. This is my treat." Edward said and I sighed and nodded.

No point in fighting with him about it. Plus, I didn't have much money on me. I stood up when Edward did, pulling my hand bag over my shoulder. He dropped his pen again—Edward frowned as Riley dropped to his knees to retrieve it. I perked an eyebrow before realising what he was _really_ doing down there.

I caught him trying to take a peek up my skirt. "Ugh!" I said, stepping backwards. "Pervert!" Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the restaurant.

Which, was probably the best idea if he wanted to keep his criminal record free of assault on a juvenile.

I had to almost run to keep up with his long-legged strides. "Son of a bitch. Dirty mother fucker." He muttered under his breath, his hand tightly gripping mine. I planted my feet on the ground and waited till he stopped. He sighed and glued his eyes to mine. "He's a teenage boy." I stated the obvious.

"What did you do when you were a teenager?" I hedged with narrowed eyes. "Not. That." I sighed and squeezed his hand.

"Come on, we can't let it ruin our day." I said, trying to cheer him up. "I suppose not." He agreed. I grinned and stretched to wrap my arms around his neck.

His hands moved to my waist as our lips met—warm and longing. He kissed my nose. "This is mine," he stated. I giggled. He kissed my lips again.

"These are mine," He kissed my forehead. "That's mine," His lips met my throat.

"This is mine..." I smiled and kissed him on the lips again.

"No-one else's." He reminded me in a serious voice. I felt one of his hands gently skin over my ass.

"_That _is mine, too." I frowned. "Really? I thought it was mine." I said, looking over my shoulder. He chuckled.

I hadn't realised we were still in the middle of the street, on the sidewalk. But there was next to no traffic so we didn't have to worry, anyway. His hands combed through my hair, bunching it in his fist.

"This is mine, as well." He murmured, leaning into my neck to inhale. When he brought his face back I ran my tongue over his lips.

"Slut!" someone chided from across the street. I jerked away from Edward, my stomach dropping.

Oh shit. But my eyes encountered a familiar face—russet brown framed with black hair. "Jacob," Edward sneered, reading my mind.

He crossed the street before I even knew he had any intention to. I blanched before running after him. "Edward!" I called as he strode toward Jacob's smug form. His eyes never left me as Edward's six foot four frame approached.

"You dirty, teacher banging whore!" he almost shouted at me. I recoiled as he spat more profanities at me. Edward's face hardened and tightened—his jaw straining. I could tell he was close to losing it.

"Don't you fucking talk to her like that, you scum." Edward snarled. I put a hand on his arm to hold him back—his stance relaxed infinitesimally.

I stared at Jacob who looked at me with evident disgust. What was worse was that I felt ashamed. Ashamed under the judgement of a guy who tried to rape me. His greasy hair clung to his head, his face was oily and his clothes were even more tattered than usual.

"What are you staring at?" he demanded in a hiss as he noticed me looking at his dirty clothes.

"Doesn't this guy fuck you right? Need me to fuck you? I'll fuck your little fucking brains out if his cock can't do the job." He motioned to Edward and I knew he was done.

Edward couldn't hold back anymore. He lunged forward, his forearm pushing against Jacob's throat. He shoved him back into the brick wall of the antique shop we stood outside of.

"Keep the fuck away." He threatened in his darkest tone. Jacob looked at him then, an odd look of pity. Why would he pity Edward? "If you so even much as _look_ at her the wrong way, it will be the last thing you look at." Edward spat. Jacob's face was paling and he nodded. Edward's arm relaxed, letting him go.

Jacob glanced at me then and my trembling form, the tears running in streams down my cheeks.

"Don't even think about opening your mouth either. If you remember, you should have been charged with attempted rape a few months back. Don't forget." Edward threatened, taking my hand. Jacob's rage boiled as he looked at our joined hands.

The next words out of his mouth weren't even words, they were slurred, incomprehensible. Giberish nonsense, like he was speaking in tongues.

He was snarling viciously, his face going a shade of pink. He looked as if he had been possessed. Our confrontation left me emotionally bruised and frail.

Scared and upset, I wheeled away from him, Edward grasped my hand tightly and we flew back to his car.

**Don't you just love the fucked up weird shit I keep coming up with? I certainly do. Just let me know if all this cryptic shit is getting too cryptic. I don't want my fanfic to end up like LOST, a complete and utter waste of fucking time. I mean, how long have they been on that fucking island? And WHERE THE FUCK did those polar bears come from? And that evil thing...it was A SMOKE CLOUD. Not a dinosaur, not a tiger or lion...A SMOKE CLOUD. jeesh. I miss the good ol' days when Boon was alive. And the ENGLISH, dude...the heroin addict...he was cool....Charlie? was it? I think so....**

**Anywhoo. ENJOY MY LOVELIES!**

**REVIEWS ARE BETTER THAN LOST!**


	25. Not just a grudge

**Sorry I haven't posted in a but, so sorry. I was out...with Edward. Ahem...we were banging. *shrugs* So anywho, this chapter, Bella finally realises the link betwen the Quileutes and the satanic cult shit. So enjoy, I know you're all getting restless about finding more shit out. Relax! Next few chapters will be tying loose ends and finishing the story up. :)**

"Say something," Edward finally murmured.

We were ten minutes from my house and I had remained silent the entire ride home.

I just...didn't know what to say.

I didn't know how to deal with what happened.

I was coming apart at the seams. "Bella, please!" Edward begged when I didn't answer. I looked up at him, his face was contorted into a stressful, grimace—one hundred and eighty degrees from his usual serene mask. I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head on the headrest.

"I don't know," I muttered. He let out a sigh too, relieved that I had broken my abnormal silence. It was abnormal with him, anyway. "I don't know what to do." I admitted.

We were pulling up my street now.

He waited until we were fully stopped before he spoke again.

"There's nothing that can be done." He said, turning his entire body toward me. He took my face in his hands so I would look into his eyes. "Look at me," he demanded. I did.

"He knows about us." He stated, and just from that I could feel my pulse quicken and my breathing pick up. "But," he said quickly, realising my shift in emotions.

"We have dirt on him, things that won't be thought about too nicely by the police..." I frowned and held his hands to my face with his own.

"Edward, you're forgetting." I said seriously, in a low voice. "Jake may have tried to fuck me, but he didn't. All the while, you _have_ been fucking me. The police, and my father for that matter won't think too kindly on that."His eyes tightened and I swear there was a darkness seething beneath the surface, threatening to break all hell loose.

I tried to calm him by taking another direction of thought. "Look," I said, rubbing the back of his hand.

"I guess...what's done is done, right?" He sighed and nodded, dropping his hands before opening his door.

He came around to my side and opened my door for me, taking my hand then escorting me to the porch.

Edward's protective nature was really tested today, after that little incident with Jacob, I doubt he'll let me do anything on my own now.

I doubt he thinks I'm level-headed enough to pour myself a drink—probably thinking I might have a breakdown. I hope he doesn't forbid me from driving my truck.

I mentally slapped myself. Of course he wouldn't...I didn't...think so, well anyways, if he did, he can't control me that way, and besides, it would look weird if _he _drove me to school. Life was tough when you had lunatics on your tail.

These days, with all the commotion going on around me...I'm just waiting for some crazed, frothing-at-the-mouth, Jesus fan to come and get me while I sleep. Luckily I had Edward last night—but he can't stay over all the time, he has a job, things he needs to do that don't necessarily involve me. He was staking all his energy on being with me, what would he have left after all this was finished and over with?

If, by some kind of fucking miracle, we both made it through this ordeal, would Edward still have a job to go to everyday? Even if our secret remained _our_ secret, how can he guaruntee that his lack of work or attention will be looked upon kindly by his boss.

I hated the thought of him losing everything he's worked for. Especially if I was the reason he lost it.

I stepped into the doorway, he leaned over to peck me on the forehead. "Lock your doors and I'll be right back. I'm just going to park down the street." He informed me, his brow furrowing. "Alright," Was all I could think of to say. Where was my strength? All wasted on worrying about this Jacob fiasco.

How could I fix this mess?

I prayed to God it would fix itself. But I knew the Universe never made things that easy.

I bit my thumb nail as I paced up and down the hall way. _Charlie isn't making any progress at work_—For a moment, my mind went blank. I stopped pacing.

I was breathing heavily, my vision clouded. I mirror hung on the wall right in front of me. I was reminded of that day in the bathroom. The blood on the wall. I shuddered but my mind kept flipping through linking stages of the past month. It was finally doing the job I had wanted it to do—it was figuring it all out.

The words echoed in my head, haunting me with their meaning—'_Bella Swan, you're next, slut.'_. My throat was dry and my stomach was flipping around nervously. I pressed my hand up to the wall for support as it all came tumbling through the voids in my brain, gaining momentum.

The Quileute legends, the bloody threats—they were linked and I was too blind to know it.

I had read a story that would so easily explain all this nonsense, something that pieced it together before my eyes.

I hadn't regarded it as something helpful because I had been searching for something in particular.

I didn't look at the situation from all angles. I wasn't taking the cop's approach. I vaguely heard Edward walking up the driveway, the gravel crunching under every footfall. I was gradually losing myself. My mind delved deeper into the memories that weren't so pleasant.

The threats directed to me. They spoke of me dying horribly—something enemies did to each other.

Not someone with a grudge. I hadn't stopped to look at the bigger picture. I felt incredibly stupid for missing all of this.

Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? I was their enemy, pure and simple. They hated me with a passion, an intense, ancient hate.

The Quileute people spoke so fondly of their people and their villages—to have someone infiltrate and kill is inexcusable, obviously.

So what if they thought it was happening again? I know I hadn't killed anyone...but... They had called me a slut—something that was horridly offensive, but held a meaning beyond just petty name-calling. To them, I _was_ a slut, devouring men every chance I got.

Years ago, according to the legend, there was a mysterious sorceress, one who preyed on the young men of the tribe. She lured them away from their families, having sex with them, and then killing them. However, she had no love for these men, which made it easy to do away with them.

She held only one love in her cold, dead heart, and it was for a man...one much older.

They...the cult, the people who were after me...they thought I was her. They thought I was Dask'iya. I gulped.

"Bella! Snap out of it!" Edward said, raising his voice. I hadn't noticed his hands gripping the tops of my arms.

I hadn't noticed he was even there. I tore my eyes away from the mirror and stared up at Edward, a sick feeling in my stomach. I couldn't help but match the parallels of Dask'iya, the ancient succubus, to me, Bella Swan. I had dated Jacob Black—a member of the Quileute tribe. But I had dated no-one since then, besides...Edward.

The killers must have known about Edward even before they attacked me at his home. I lived on the other side of their treaty line, so did Edward.

They thought we were...the 'cold ones'. The living dead, walking among innocent, oblivious humans, unaware.

They probably thought Jacob was lucky, having escaped from my clutches before I could eat him. But what about Jacob?

I mean, there was no direct evidence... My mind swirled around earlier today. He spoke in tongues, he knew I was sleeping with Edward and he harboured a fierce hatred toward me. Could he be responsible for all this? All this madness? And fear? Jacob Black? I shook my head to get a grip on reality.

My vision slowly went clear and now it was only Edward's face I saw. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

The look of anxious concern on Edward's face...it broke my heart to see him look so...helpless. I know that he's trying. He wants to be with me and keep me from everything bad in the world. Thats when I knew that I had to do the same for him. He can't know what I had just realised.

He can't know that Jacob could somehow be involved, if it were with the threats or attacking me—he could not know about it. The seething rage that he felt towards him were already astronomical. I knew what would happen if he found out about this, just another thing to add to the pile.

He would end up with a knife through his heart—Jacob. He wouldn't live past sunset today if I told Edward everything. Which is exactly why I wasn't going to share.

I was going to pretend that everything was the same as it was two minutes ago, before this earth shattering revelation swamped me.

Edward's hands moved to my face.

He leaned down, meeting his lips with mine.

~~~___~~~

After a few more hours, Edward had to leave me to go back home—he had work to do for school.

I hated that I was keeping him from doing his job, but he didn't care about it as much as he should.

"Give me an A," I winked, before kicking him out the door. My attempt at nonchalance was a great effort.

Edward knew I was preoccupied, that something was weighing on my mind. But if I couldn't tell him, who could I tell? Charlie? I considered my options as I readied Charlie's pot roast for dinner, he'd be home in an hour or so. I stared out the fogged window, into the dimly lit night outside.

I needed to be sure—implicating someone of something I couldn't be sure they actually did...it was wrong.

Without anything that could prove Jacob guilty of this, I would be at a loss because he would take it as an attack on my part.

He would retaliate. He would tell the world about Edward and me. I couldn't have that. Not yet, anyway.

It was much too soon.

I locked my window, paranoia was sweeping over me again.

And, after today, if Jake was involved, I couldn't not be more careful. I plopped down on my bed, full from dinner. I had taken a shower before Charlie got home when Edward was still here. I was already dressed in my pyjamas. I was ready for bed, for sleep.

But...it evaded me, as per usual when I was scared or upset. My mind was still working overtime, mulling over Jacob, Dask'iya and the fucking Quileutes. I collapsed onto my pillow, finding sleep after a few more hours of silent stewing.

I woke up all groggy and bleary-eyed.

Charlie had the day off today so he was still asleep when I poked my head in his doorway.

I sighed, gently closing it then made my way downstairs. I couldn't get my brain to just switch off like it had been doing, it wouldn't let me rest. I was cranky and lethargic from lack of sleep I had received nights prior. This was going to send me to an early grave, the stress that is, if the cult doesn't kill me first.

I was jumpy and on edge for most of the morning. I very nearly ran off the fucking road when I saw a guy that resembled Jacob on a motorbike behind me.

I pulled into the parking lot and got out, eyes searching for someone familiar. Someone, if not to tell, then to share my emotional burden with.

But there was hardly anyone around. And after a little thought about it, I realised that it would be selfish of me to do so.

I sighed, hugging my jacket closer around my body as I made my way towards the school. It was a fairly dry morning, no rain for once—the sun was shining, but that didn't stop the cold. I shivered under my layers of clothing, walking with my head down, glancing up now and then to keep a look out for him—Jacob.

The halls were teaming with teenagers, scurrying to get to their lockers without being squished in the process. I pushed through the crowds, only getting stood on twice. I found my locker and pulled it open, searching for my books then stacking them in a pile. Jessica appeared next to me.

"Hey, Bella!" she chimed. I turned to her with a less than enthusiastic smile. "Hey, Jess." I murmured.

She grinned anyway, not seeming to take my mood into account.

I could hardly blame her, I wasn't much of the happy type today.

She shouldn't let it get her down if I was a tad anti-social this morning.

"How was your weekend?" I asked, trying to keep her satisfied and all the while feigning interest in her petty, mundane problems. She started prattling on about nothing in particular. I managed to catch the gist of what she had been saying.

She had been on a date with Tyler Crowley and she caught him staring at her chest. I would have usually made a snappy remark, like, maybe she shouldn't have had them displayed on the table, but I just didn't feel the humour in me today.

I was lacking my spark. Jessica waved goodbye after she reached her classroom.

I stumbled blindly through the halls until I made it to my classroom.

Mr. Varner shot me a disapproving look for my tardiness. I would have usually cared, but...well, there were bigger things on my plate than getting my teachers to like me.

Maybe I won't need to bother getting to know them, anyway, if I'm just going to be killed.

I sighed and mentally chastised myself. That was no way to think. That would only make Edward furious with me and I didn't want him stressing out anymore than need be. I stared out the window through most of it, hardly aware of anything or anyone around me.

I wanted to see Edward again, Trig dragged on and on.

Afterward, I had Biology which was slightly less torturous. I was mildly relived that I hadn't seen Jacob all day, but should I take that as a good or bad sign? If he was gone, maybe he'd taken the threat seriously as intended, and decided to back off, physically.

Or he might not be here because he is trying to avoid confrontation with Edward if he's trying to plan something to do with me. What did they plan to do with me? I wondered. In the story, they had tried to capture her and burn her over a pyre.

I shuddered even though I wasn't cold anymore. I was suffocating.

"Could someone volunteer to go to the library? I need a text book I've forgotten." The teacher said, speaking to all of us.

No-one raised their hand so I raised mine, eager for some fresh air. "I'll do it, sir." I called, standing up.

He nodded, writing down the name of it on a post-it. I smiled in relief, my first real smile today—and it was for a teacher, not the one I'm with.

I frowned to myself. _Not weird behaviour at all, Bella. _I clutched the crumpled piece of yellow paper in my hand before freeing myself out the door.

I took a few deep breaths before starting down the empty hallway. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. I wasn't supposed to be shuffling through the hallways on my own, even if the school said it was safe for me. Edward thought it wasn't. I peered around the corner.

The sunlight streaming through the windows on the left wall cast rectangles in the blue linoleum. There was nobody else here. I found myself growing more and more afraid of these benign looking hallways.

I had run into quite some trouble doing what I'm doing now. _Idiot!_ I quipped myself internally.

If Edward finds out, he's going to be on the war path.

Who knows what he'll do.

He might break someone's arm just to get me a hall escort.

I sighed and shook my head at myself, I was being ridiculous.

I was fine.

I was safe.

Instead of stipulating on possible cult attacks while I passed the drinking fountain, I should be thinking about the Jacob problem and how it's _connected_ to the cult. To be honest, I was losing patience with this whole thing. I wanted life to go back to normal...well, as normal as it gets for me.

I just wanted a world where Edward and I could be together without a hitch or anyone's judgement.

I wanted a world how we could hold each other in public and not be afraid of getting caught, I also didn't want him to feel anxious about me all the time, wondering if I had been abducted or not. I didn't want to be scared anymore.

I squared my shoulders as I rounded the corner—I will not be afraid anymore. These people can't take that away from me. I smiled to myself in triumph. As long as I had Edward, I could do this, all of it. And somehow, against all odds, we'll come out of the end of the tunnel unscathed.

I trudged determinedly into the library, pushing the heavy glass doors out of my way.

Our supposed social faux pas would blow over with time—if I really loved Edward, what everyone else though shouldn't count.

It shouldn't define our relationship. I had to admit, unwillingly, that we could have played this out better. Maybe waited until I was finished school before acting upon a full fledged relationship. But sometimes, things weren't just that easy.

Things could get fucked up too fast.

We didn't even have a chance at stopping it.

I had let my attention slip for a moment, just a moment. I hadn't realised that the library was empty—the little old lady that usually works at the desk must have been called to the office or something. But that was not what my eyes were trained to, it wasn't the empty desk that caught my eye.

It was the three teenage boys and what they were doing. Books ripped apart, paper everywhere, shelves knocked to the floor.

The place was becoming a fast dump. When on produced a silver lighter from his pocket—a familiar lighter with a naked woman engraved on it—I quickly realised that they weren't just trying to destroy the library, they were trying to light it on fire. They were trying to burn the school down. I gasped, unable to stop myself.

The three turned.

Jacob. Embry...and Mike.

**So there you go. ;) But there are more surprises in store, don't you worry. And when I say surprises...I MEAN surprises. ;)**

**Love you guys.**

**I like my bitches loyal. You bitches make the cut, congrats!**

**Reviews are better than...well, they're better than getting a cold...or herpes.... Not like I'd know of course...ahem, going on.**

**I salute you!**


	26. White hot ember

**Could you believe that I'm nominated for best human Twilight fanfic?! I know right, I couldn't either! Umm..so...no pressure baby, but, uh...you don't want me to shave your eyebrows at night? No? Then vote for meh at TheMysticAwards :D It's called "the best Lamb story" so yeah, click on nominees (if you want, no pressure) then click on vote at the top of the page. You can also vote for, like, best smutty fanfic, best hurt/comfort, best comedy, best character or whatever. :D I'm not seriously going to shave your eyebrows....**

***eye twitch***

**Here you go guys!**

Mike and Jake lunged at me then, Embry stood still, smirking.

I jumped out of their way, stepping backwards then whirling around to make a run for it.

Someone tackled me. My face planted into the rough carpet of the library floor.

I screamed but it was muffled by my face getting pushed into the floor.

They grabbed my hands and twisted them behind my back, hauling me up into a standing position.

The fluorescent lights above us were flickering on and off, the fire must be getting to the wiring embedded in the dry wall. The orange flames cast an ominous glow over their faces, shadowing them, making them look impossibly more malevolent and cruel.

My earlier suspicion about Jacob were proved correct.

And, stupid me, had to go out by myself.

I would definitely pay for that mistake.

But I couldn't snuff out the low inkling in my stomach that told me there was more to it. More information that I was missing.

It was just a hunch—apparently I wasn't as unintuitive as I thought. Now I wish I was. The two boys that were taller and bigger than me grappled my body while I tried to shake them off. It did little to help me escape. One of them, I wasn't quite sure who, landed a hard knock in between my shoulder blades to get me to stand still.

It knocked the breath out of me and gave them the leverage they needed so they could get a better handle on my flailing limbs. I sucked in a breath.

"Get off of me! Get off!" I shrieked. I was going to be strong, I wasn't going to be afraid of them anymore. That's what I had promised myself.

But when it came to putting that theory into practice...well, it was a little more than difficult. Jacob stood behind me with my arms in his vice grip against my back.

Mike stood in front of me, a genuinely evil sneer on his face. He must have seen the fear in my eyes because he grinned, amused by the prospect of him having that kind of control on me. He must have been quite elated that I was alone and that I didn't have Edward here to protect me from them—the thought had my stomach heaving uselessly.

The room was filling with smoke. "This is perfect," Jacob whispered in my ear. "You came at just the right time!" I fought the urge to gag.

The fire alarm sounded then, echoing through the hallways which will now be filled with squealing teenagers trying not to get wet by the sprinklers. I waited for the cool water...but none came. They must have already thought about that—disabled the entire system, my escape route, my chance of survival.

The ringing alarm was enough to drown out my cries. The flames were licking up the walls in bright orange flickers.

Their attempt to burn down the school could possibly succeed without the effects of the sprinkler system to douse the spreading flames.

The smoke billowing from their little bonfire in the corner was choking me, stinging my eyes.

I struggled against Jacob's massive hands. He just squeezed them tighter, I was afraid he would break my entire arm with them. Embry turned to me then and smiled. He had a book in his hand and he was tearing pages out of it, throwing them on the fire while he watched me.

I stared up at him...so was he the leader? "You bastard!" I screeched, hoping someone was close by.

They would hear me...I hoped. Certainly... "Let me go! You're all crazy! What do you think you're trying to prove?!" I screamed. "You three are insane! You believe those legends?!" I asked incredulously. Embry just grinned mischievously like a child caught doing something naughty. Besides that, he seemed unfazed. Mike however, wheeled up to me, his hand slapping hard against my face.

It whipped to the side and a sob broke free from my mouth.

"You are so far beyond the truth it's not even funny," Mike barked. "Little Dask'iya..." Embry chuckled, shaking his head. I gulped, breathing heavy.

"You of all people should know there's more truth to the legends than anyone can comprehend. And whoever said it was just us three who believe?" I shuddered before someone spoke again. "Can we take care of her here?" Mike enquired excitedly and I wondered what he meant by that. That is until I saw his hands travel down to his belt buckle, preparing to unfasten it. I wailed. "No!" Mike's head swivelled around. "Shut up!" he bellowed.

He went back to conversing with Embry who shook his head, 'no.' I let out a shaky, relieved breath. Mike scowled at me before speaking again to Embry.

"But she's seen everything, Embry. How are we gonna explain this shit when she tells them? Tells her Dad? Tells that teacher she's been fucking like the slut she is?" he asked scathingly.

My head snapped around to Mike—although I shouldn't be surprised.

He was just so blunt about it, it seemed shocking to hear someone verbalise it. Embry eyes flickered from me to Jacob over my shoulder then back to Mike. "We'll leave her here." He shrugged.

What?

"If we can't do what we intended with her, then we will leave her here to burn. That way," his eyes bored into mine then. I felt like his stare was enough to burn me. "She can't tell anyone. It was what we intended anyway. This was only meant as a warning. An offensive attack to let the 'cold ones' know that we're ready for war...ready for Dask-iya."

He hissed the word in my direction.

The 'cold ones', so I was right. I could feel the hairs on the nape of my neck stand on end. These people were completely deranged. "Please!" I begged helplessly before Mike roughly grabbed my shoulders.

Jacob let go of my hands with a feral hiss. Visibility was lessening and soon I wouldn't be able to see at all. My lungs were aching painfully, the smoke was too thick, I could barely breathe; it scratched up and down my throat.

I coughed and spluttered into Mike's clouded face.

He swore, whipping his fist back and wrenching it forward. I didn't even realise what was happening until I felt the stinging pain across my cheekbone and eye socket. After he pulled back, I swayed. The last thing I saw was the floor whirling up to my face—then the rough floor under my hands.

It was over.

EPOV

I could almost sense the smugness rolling off of him, the disgust. He should be the one that is ashamed—not Bella.

Jacob Black's fierce verbal attack on us outside the restaurant...it was insane. He sounded so far beyond human and what was more upsetting, was the way Bella reacted. At first, she looked sick. That was when we heard his snarls rip through the air in our direction. "Slut!" he chided mercilessly.

I felt the blood boil under my skin. Bella dropped her arms from around my neck and my hands left her body in response.

My eyes found the miserable excuse for a human being across the silent street. "Jacob," I sneered, glancing at a very pale looking Bella.

I hadn't forgotten what he had tried to do to her. I would never forget—it was forever ingrained in me to protect this girl, from anything and everything.

Even if she didn't know how violence helped the situation—I would still use it. I had never been a pacifist. Hardly a word I ever used.

I didn't have much patience for those who say it doesn't solve anything, that it only promotes violent behaviour.

But what was their opinion on the vigilante kind? Violence _certainly_ fucking helped. In less than a second, I had scoped out the rest of the road we were on—empty. No witnesses. Perfect. I strode hastily over to where he stood with his greasy hands in his pockets.

To think those hands had ever touched Bella... "Edward!" Bella called after me.

I didn't listen. I was almost to him when he started shouting again.

"You dirty, teacher banging, whore!" My fingers twitched then clenched into a fist. I grit my teeth then glared. "Don't you fucking talk to her like that, you scum." I barked. I was about four feet away from him, Bella was half behind my body—staring at Jacob in front of us.

I felt her hand on my arm as if to hold me back. If it was anyone but her, I would be at his throat already. I took a side-long glance at Bella beside me, she was pale and her face was drawn—the look of shame was clear in her eyes and I couldn't bear the sight of her like that.

It made _me_ feel ashamed for letting it happen. "What are you staring at?" he demanded with a snarl, looking at Bella.

My muscles tensed, like I was an animal—ready to spring and claw out his jugular.

"Doesn't this guy fuck you right? Need me to fuck you? I'll fuck your little fucking brains out if his cock can't do the job." Enough was enough. Even I couldn't be held responsible for my retort. Anyone with more impeccable self-control would still have had the same reaction.

My arms and legs moved of their own accord—about a split second in front of what my brain was ordering them to do—stepping forward and reaching out. My forearm slammed against his throat and with my other hand I pushed him back against the brick wall of the store.

Brilliant fucking feeling. I would overpower him, make him hurt. He would feel vulnerable and weak—the same way he made Bella feel. "Keep the fuck away." I threatened, I tried to keep my voice as reasonable as possible. But the scratchiness only added to his fear, so that worked in my favour. I was just waiting for him to give me a reason. A reason to end it right there. He just stared at me with pity—receiving pity from him only made me more angry.

But he didn't give me the response I needed to throttle the life from his eyes.

So I only added to the threat—just to make it clear.

"If you so even much as _look_ at her the wrong way, it will be the last thing you look at." I promised viciously.

I lavished in his paled complexion—his fearful nod. I relaxed my hold on his neck, shoving away from him. I needed to make sure he wouldn't mention this to anyone—our relationship, that is. I didn't want Bella suffering the fallout at all—I didn't care if I did. This was only for her.

"Don't even think about opening your mouth either. If you remember, you should have been charged with attempted rape a few months back. Don't forget." It was amazing how much strength it took to say _that_ word. I took Bella's hand in mine before his face reddened and he began spitting out a fiery string of jumbled words.

They weren't even words, really. I could tell Bella was getting more scared every minute he was in our presence. She had tears streaming down her face.

What could I do to make it better for her? First thing was first: get her out of there. Get her as far away from him as I could get her. If the fucker was smart he wouldn't show up at school on Monday. I was half expectant of it—in order to seek revenge, physically—and half terrified of it, of what he might decide to divulge despite my threat. He sounded crazy, after all.

I pulled Bella to the car, anxious to take her home and away from _him._ I opened her door and shut it for her, running to my door before revving the engine and gunning it down the quiet street without bothering with a seat belt. Once I had hit the outskirts of town, I had relaxed infinitesimally. My muscles were no longer coiled to pounce—the threat was gone.

It was instinctual—to protect. I couldn't help it even if I tried. It was pretty much a subconscious thing now.

Especially when one was concerned with Bella—a danger magnet on her best days.

On her bad days, she was a catastrophe magnet. She already had someone wanting to kill her. She also had to deal with Jacob—I ground my teeth—and then me and the emotional enormity of our relationship. It was so much for one small person to deal with, I felt like the weight of all of this could actually crush her tiny frame. She seemed so fragile, yet I had yet to see her not act strong. She may have her moments, but she was as courageous as they come.

She was set on being with me no matter what the consequences. I had been jeopardising that.

I should punch myself. I caught a glimpse of her from the corner of my eye and thats when I noticed that the tears had stopped. Her face was blank—wiped clean of the shame and hate and fear. She was...just vacant from awareness. That was the reaction that killed me the most.

I hated the fact that this boy could be the reason for her acting less than human—acting like an empty shell.

I didn't push her for most of the trip. I tried to stare out of the windshield, afraid that any small comment of mine would break her in more ways than one. I would not be the one responsible for inflicting that kind of pain on her. I had already done enough to Bella. Forcing myself and my problems—namely that slut, Tanya—into her life. It almost appeared like that was the trigger, her undoing. That because of me...this was all happening to her. I quickly pushed those thoughts aside—it was no use for them now.

I was already here and leaving would only make matters worse, not better. It wouldn't magically fix anything. If it did, if it put an end to this murder threat, I would do it. I would end up on the edge of the cliff, admittedly, but what happened to me didn't matter.

But then again, I couldn't bear the thought of her being alone, not knowing whether my absence was helpful or not. And now, it seemed not. There were going to be new rules—I didn't like the fact that I was sort of restricting her, creating rules for her to abide by, but it was for a damn good reason.

And if it saved her life by not driving alone at night or leaving her window unlocked, then by god, would I demand she do it.

I was not going to stand for her being reckless, nor would I stand for her being merely normal. It was too risky.

Either that or I was extremely paranoid. Both explanations would have the same result, anyway. Finally, her silence became too much.

"Say something," I murmured, keeping my tone soft and comforting. Nothing. She didn't budge, her eyes glazed over. I shuddered.

"Bella, please!" I beseeched. She glanced up at me then sighed, closing her eyes and resting her head back. "I don't know," she muttered resentfully. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I was so glad to hear her speak. "I don't know what to do." She admitted breathily. I rounded the street connecting to hers.

I parked outside her house, on the kerb. "There's nothing that can be done." I said regrettably. Was there anything more I could do?

I was immensely fucking pissed off that I was deemed useless. It was obvious—I couldn't do anything at all. It frustrated me even further.

I placed my hands on either side of her heart-shaped face. My fingers brushed her hair slightly. "Look at me," I said in a mere whisper. She looked up at me.

"He knows about us." I said flatly, hating the fact. I could see her eyes start to water and her breathing pick up. "But," I said quickly. "We have dirt on him, things that won't be thought about too nicely by the police..." I reasoned than realised the holes in my logic. She realised too.

"Edward, you're forgetting." She said softly, almost resigned. "Jake may have tried to fuck me, but he didn't.

All the while, you _have_ been fucking me. The police, and my father for that matter won't think too kindly on that." She explained. I felt my face betray the seething hatred when she frowned slightly, looking worried. I knew I could barely contain this anger for much longer. How would I feel if he had actually succeeded that night? He probably wouldn't be alive right now, and that wasn't just an empty threat either. I was genuinely sincere. He. Would. Be. Dead. Simple as that.

"Look," Bella sighed, trying to lighten the mood a little. She rubbed the back of my hand.

"I guess...what's done is done, right?" she shrugged slightly with one shoulder.

I sighed—she was right, of course she was right—and nodded. There it was again, the helplessness.

It was eating away at me. I walked her to her door, taking no precautions lightly. If I could have my way, she would be under lock and key at all times—with me, of course. But then, I didn't have super powers. I didn't have super speed, strength or sight. I couldn't protect her like a superhuman could.

And for the first time since I was six, I wished I was one. I parked further down the street, requesting that she lock the doors and windows until I got back. It was only three minutes, tops. But worse things have happened in shorter time, right? I walked briskly up the street after locking the doors of my Volvo. My feet squished against the damp, muddy grass—then crunched against the wet gravel of her driveway. I stepped onto the porch, wiping my shoes against the bristly welcome mat. I checked the knob and it wasn't locked.

I sighed and was about to scold Bella for not locking it when I saw her. She was staring at her reflection in the mirror—she looked...shocked. I frowned.

What would she be shocked about? She didn't look any different from this morning, spare for her tear streaked cheeks.

She still looked beautiful to me, she would in any situation. Her expression was shifting rapidly; shock, fear, disgust, confusion, recognition before finally settling on ill. She looked ill. She looked the way she did the day she found the threat on the wall of that bathroom. That image of her haunted me all the time.

I took her by the shoulders, turning her to face me—her eyes were still blank and unfocussed. I tried to pull her from her strange abstraction.

"Bella!" I said firmly. "Bella, can you hear me?" I demanded, shaking her slightly. Her brow was furrowed. "Bella! Snap out of it!" I said in a louder tone. She blinked before her eyes focussed on me finally. She turned her face to look at me then, tearing her gaze from the mirror on the wall. I didn't know what was racing through her mind, but I knew that if she was ready to tell me, she would. So, instead of badgering her to unload, I let it be. I took her face in my hands, leaning down to meet her lips with mine.

The contact was still electrical, sending pleasant sparks up and down my spine.

But it didn't hinder the uneasy prickling in my stomach.

~~~___~~~

Without even remembering how I got here, I was at home. I stared out my windows.

Maybe I was becoming some vacant vegetable like Bella had been before. I shook my head, trying to get myself to snap out of it. I shoved my keys in my pocket before pulling my collar closer to my neck. I ran to the porch to get out of the rain, unlocking the front door and locking it behind me. I stood by the door for a moment, gazing out into the sheeting rain, hoping to see the person responsible for all this mess. Of course I wouldn't, but it didn't stop me from trying.

I needed someone to pin all of this on. I needed an outlet—Jacob could be that outlet, but he was only one aspect of this whole mess. Even if I did away with him, there will still be that person or persons who want Bella dead. I frowned to myself as I climbed the stairs to my study.

Was I actually contemplating murder for Bella? I smirked then. I was. And I wasn't even ashamed of the fact.

It was remarkable what I would do for Bella. There were no limits. There were no boundaries. I sighed dejectedly as I slumped down in my office chair. I needed to get ahead with my work. I needed to mark sheets, make a class plan for the next few weeks which needed to be done a few weeks ago.

This was going to be a long night. And what made it even more miserable was that I didn't have Bella here with me.

I was becoming so dependent on her company—I was becoming an addict. I tapped my pen against the paper, my lamp flickered on and off—it was distracting. After a few hours I had just about finished, rather pain stakingly.

I should have kept my mind on the work, but I couldn't stop my mind from wandering back to her. What was she doing? Was she safe? Was she alright? Was she still upset? Or was she feeling better? I found myself staring at the wall in front of me—it was the same sort of brown as her eyes.

Chocolate, yet it was flat—it had nothing on Bella's deep, bottomless irises.

I tried to shake myself out of it—I was beginning to compare my furnishings to Bella. Not a good sign. I was getting stir-crazy. I needed to talk to her, but I needed to give her space to breathe.

That was possibly one of the hardest nights of my life. I would compare it to the nights where I sat awake, thinking about the girl, my student, whom I couldn't have—those painfully long nights where I wondered if she was with her boyfriend.

They were terrible nights, but they couldn't hold a candle to this one.

~~~___~~~

I proceeded to school, getting there pretty early. I made my way to my office with my marked essays and play scripts stacked haphazardly in my arms. I balanced them precariously on my already crowded desk before sitting down on my chair. Alice was already here. I smiled weakly.

She beamed at me—like always. She was such a bright and happy person. It took a lot of gloom to bring her down.

"Good morning," I murmured, straightening my back before leaning my elbows on the desk. I put my face in my hands, rubbing the heels of my palms into the eyes.

"Tough night, Ed?" Alice chirped with a grin still smacked on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her. "Yes," I sighed, she happened to be annoyingly accurate, although anyone could tell from how I looked. I was in such a daze this morning, I wouldn't be surprised if I missed half my face when I shaved. She clucked her tongue.

"Marking work can be such a pain. But I sometimes find it..." she waved her hand in the air with her bottom lip pouted out—thinking of a word. "Murderous?" I supplemented. She rolled her eyes.

"No, silly. I think it's therapeutic." I stared at her like she was mad. Maybe she was. I trained my eyes back to the desk to find a hot coffee standing by my desk lamp. I picked it up and raised an eyebrow. Alice shrugged. "Though you might need one." She answered simply.

"How?" I asked. She smiled mischievously and winked. I sighed. She always did that. It could either be incredibly novel and mesmerising...or, like now, it could just be creepy.

"You know..." she began in a conversational tone. One thing Alice could not do, it was normal conversation. She could talk your ear off with her speed talking, but she could not stay casual. It was always exuberance with her. I glanced back up at her and she was reclining on her chair, the dim sunlight sparkling on her jewellery.

The first session of my day I had some juniors—childish and overzealous. I sighed as I shrank back in my chair, hoping to avoid them if only for today when I needed the time to think. The next session began swimmingly—without interruption, well, a part from the fire alarm. I sighed and said the steps of evacuation in a methodical voice.

"Exit quietly and orderly down to the football field." I droned before following the last person out into the hall. I noticed that the sprinklers hadn't come on.

I frowned then tried holding in a groan. If this was a drill... I was not in the mood. I thought back to the last time the fire alarm went off and became suddenly alert. I pushed the students out the exits and it was only until we were halfway through when I saw the smoke. It billowed down from the south side of the building, where the library and the Music faculty buildings were. I stood at the exit that opened up to the path leading down the hill to the bleachers. It was just like last time, except for Bella.

Last time I was with Bella...and it was during lunch.

I had one arm extended, holding the door open, Alice was holding the other door open, letting the students file out briskly.

They were growing panicky after seeing the smoke filling the halls. It was fairly dry outside too. I hoped, for once, that it would rain. For the school's sake. I scanned over the heads left... My stomach churned nervously. I looked back outside to the crowed flowing to the grandstands. The student body was quite small...I'm sure I would have seen her leave...?

I frowned, confused.

"I'll go check the bathrooms for anyone." I informed Alice who gave a disapproving stare.

I didn't look back as I turned down the dark and smoky hallways. I raised my arm to my mouth to keep from inhaling too much of the smoke. The alarm was still ringing deafeningly. With each siren I was growing more anxious, like someone was pulling my nerves tight like piano wires.

I jogged through the hall, ducking into the girl's bathroom. "Anyone in here?" I called, before quickly checking each stall. Nothing. I checked the boy's bathroom.

"Hello?" I called quickly but was responded with no answer. I heard a faint cry, but that could have been the fire brigade outside. I tried waving my hand in front of me to waft the dense cloud out of my way. It was getting beyond the point of return. I could die in here. It scratched at my eyes, stinging wretchedly.

I coughed a barking cough, still searching. The more I search, the more sure I became that she was not outside, the more sure I became that she was still in here. This made me more anxious. This also made me infuriated. But I would deal with those emotions after I found her. I kept my hand out in front of me, blindly making my way around.

I knelt on the ground and decided to crawl. At least there was breathable air down here. I clawed my way along the linoleum until I was met with the generic grey carpet of the library.

It was hotter in here and I could see why. White hot embers were scattered around the floor.

A thick orange haze surrounded me.

I squinted off into the distance—mere meters away—there was a dark lump on the floor. I frowned then my eyes widened. A student. I coughed and coughed, my lungs working hard to breathe in here.

I crawled frantically—they could be burnt. My worst fears wore realised once I encountered the ash covered body. "Bella!" I yelled. I coughed into my shoulder, I could taste the smoke and I could feel the sweat dripping down my forehead. It was difficult to see, but close to the ground, visibility was better.

I could see her face relatively easy. And I did not like what I saw there. The sick, uneasy feeling returned and I needed to pound my fist into the wall to release some of my anger.

A big bruise covered her right eye, just above her cheek bone."Bella, wake up! You have to wake up!" I ordered. It was an order not a request.

I panted and glanced around, looking for a quicker exit, or for something that might help. I could vaguely see a steel-legged chair, it was the sturdy kind, heavy. I wrenched it up with my hands, throwing it with all my force into the dim square of light that must have been a window. It shattered, cutting through the gap between the fire alarm ringing.

Smoke billowed out through the gap. I picked the chair up again and found the closest window next to that one, pulling it back and whipping it forward until the glass showered down on my feet. The smoke cleared momentarily. The structure was becoming weaker by the minute. There were heavy, wooden girders that held the roof up.

They wouldn't hold for much longer. I fell to my knees next to Bella. Her hair stuck to her face with sweat. I turned her on her back and slid my arms under her limp form. "Come on, baby," I said breathlessly, hauling us both up until I stood.

I ran.

**:O OH no she di'int! *snaps fingers***

**Yes well, I kind of already did. So there. Believe it or not, there are actually more surprises to come. Oh, and I apologise for falling off the face of the earth for...wait, how long was I gone...? Dude, I totally forget *sobs over amnesia whilst Edward strokes my hair* Anywho, I'm sorry my loyal fans/readers/smut-a-holics, for leaving you high and dry for however long I left you high and dry for. LOL**

**Thankyou for my wonderful reviews! Shout out to Black Dahlia--you so awesome :) I shall give you an Edward hug...or something along those lines.**

**_Black Dahlia: Oh, if only I had someone to rub all this lotion on my back. *dramatic sigh*_**

**_Edward: *looks up from abercrombie and fitch catalogue*_**

**_Black Dahlia: *closes eyes and smiles, waiting for him to walk over and do his god damned job."_**

**_Edward: *clears throat and casts eyes back to catalogue* "Huh...that one looks like me..."_**

**_Black Dahlia: *glares at Edward the throws cocktail glass at his head*_**

**_Edward: OUCHMOTHERFUCKER! No martini glasses at the head! I thought we agreed on that when you moved in!_**

**_Black Dahlia: *sobs* I'm *hiccup* sorry *hiccup* Edward!!!_**

**_Edward: Oh, baby, don't cry. _I'm_ sorry! *picks up sunblock and starts applying to Black Dahlia's back*_**

**_Black Dahlia: *evil grin* You know...we could just...pfft, I don't know...do it?_**

**_Edward: *naked already*_**

**_Black Dahlia: *runs after naked Edward, whipping him with a wash cloth*_**

**_Edward: *giggles*_**

**WOW, that was really kinky.**

**I'm sorry, should that have gone on for longer? I dont know. Maybe you should have been ravished further. But no-one so far has gotten to whip him in the aaaasss. Thats hot. Anyways, anyone else who wants a shout-out or a mini story with Eddie poo, only have to ask!**

**LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**Reviews are better than...you know these lines have nothing to do with the chapter anymore...? Oh well, reviews are better than....diarrhea... *shrugs* its true.**


	27. Justice

**So you guys have been awesome. THANKS for your reviewing! LEMON ALERT-LEMON ALERT! i know! Its been ages! I feel a little rusty ;) HAHA i hope I do well. Love you crazy bitches! *blows kiss***

Cold.

Cold water splashed down over my face.

It ran in streams across my heated skin. I gasped in the fresh air like there was no fucking tomorrow. Strong hands held me up, my legs and arms dangling about limply. I coughed and spluttered, finding the strength to open my eyes. "Ugh!" I groaned, coughing again. My throat was thick and my eyes stung, not to mention the pain the pierced my right eye socket and cheek bone. My ears felt stopped up. Someone was saying my name.

"Bella?" It was weak and slow but recognisable. My surroundings were becoming clear again, light, colours, shapes.

I blinked hard, despite the pain it caused. I movement was coming back to my arms. I weakly reached up to me.

"Can you hear me?" he said gently, placing me on something flat and hard.

I frowned, I liked the arms better. Where were they?

"She's a little unresponsive," another voice murmured.

"Noimnotimfine." I slurred my words together. I breathed in slowly this time. It hurt to breathe, someone put something over my mouth and nose—a mask. They pressed it down. I let my eyes adjust to the scenery. White...red...bronze?

Edward! I felt my lungs and muscles relax but then remembered that I shouldn't be calling him Edward. I blinked a few more times before his face came into focus, standing to my right, next to another man. A man in uniform—a paramedic. "I'm fine." I said more clearly, sitting up. They pushed me back—both of them.

I was pretty sure that I was in shock and the effects or events of what had just happened hadn't fully dawned on me.

I felt loopy, as if someone was already pumping me with morphine. But I was sure it was just because I was hit over the face.

Colours and shapes grew more focussed. Everything was becoming painfully clear. It was raining and I was lying on a gurney in the back of an ambulance in the school parking lot. There were teachers and students around but the majority of them must be down on the field where we are supposed to go in an evacuation.

"Can I have a minute?" Edward asked the guy—Brett—who was penning something on a clip board. "Sure, but we need to take her in soon." He said before walking off to treat a girl slumped over on the blacktop. I sat up to get a better look. She had a breathing mask on too. I couldn't remember her name. I stared over the school, smoke still rose from it in malevolent clouds, dulling the already grey sky. The fire brigade had their hose spraying over the roof and toward the fire engulfed library.

I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder, trying to push me back down, I swatted weakly.

"Stop it," I objected before coughing again.

It was a barking sort of cough, like a smoker's cough. Ironic, that I should get a smoker's cough, not from smoking at all. I tore the mask from my face, it was preventing me from talking properly, plus it didn't really make a difference. Edward glared at me disapprovingly.

"Bella, put the mask on." He demanded. I shook my head. "It's not helping." I croaked. He stepped forward so he was leaning closer to my face. I had almost forgotten how I had gotten out here. "Thank you," I said in a choked voice, smiling weakly. I felt my chin quivering and I could only hold back the tears for a little while. I was still partially in shock, but it was wearing thin very quickly. "Edward, I-" "What happened?" he asked flatly, his eyes depthless.

He looked like he was trying very hard to control whatever reaction he had bubbling up inside of him.

He glanced around the lot, seeing that no-one was watching us. He reached his hand to my face, his finger tips barely grazing the skin over my cheek. His forefinger stroked my eyelid. "Who did this to you?" his voice was betraying his emotions. He was so far gone from fine.

He was murderous on the inside. I could feel his need for violence like it was my own—it radiated from his body.

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. Mentioning it, it set me off and I wasn't able to stop the tears from falling.

They wouldn't relent. Streams of salt water gushed from my eyes. I sniffed, sobbed and coughed, unable to make intelligible conversation. I knew who was behind all this, the people who were after me. The people who were intent on killing me.

I couldn't even think their names, afraid that I might vomit or go into convulsions of anger. They had very nearly succeeded in their plans. But there were also flaws that they hadn't thought about—Edward, for one, would not rest until he was sure I was outside with the other students. I knew he wouldn't let me die. "It's time to take her now," Brett murmured to Edward. I felt his hands push me down so I was on my back.

He hovered over me, placing a drip into my arm.

I winced and stared at Edward's face which was blank as he stared back at me. Brett leaned over to close the doors at my feet. Edward stood there, staring. His face shifted into his hidden emotions. I saw a flash of his rage—unadulterated, malicious and fiery—he was fucking pissed, then the doors closed.

And I couldn't see him anymore. I sighed and sank back against the bed. Nurses and doctors hovered by my bed, passing clipboards to each other before walking off. Some stayed and played with my drip while another looked at the bruise on my face. No-one asked me what had happened.

They probably assumed I already had the bruise or I fell on my face before I passed out.

Charlie came bursting through the ER doors then, a frantic look on his face. He spotted me from across the room and stalked over.

"Bella! Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked, fluttering his hands over my purple face. I took his hand with mine and sighed. "I'm fine, Dad." I reassured him. "Who did that?" he pointed to my eye. I gulped. "The people who threatened to kill me. The people who wanted me dead.

They wouldn't anymore because they think I am." His eyes bulged out of his head and he gripped my hand tighter before sitting on the edge of my bed. "Do you know them, honey?" he asked in a gruff voice. I could tell he was upset, his eyes were red and puffy. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Everything seemed to go silent, but I knew I was just being paranoid. I could breathe properly now but for some reason it proved difficult now.

Charlie was gauging the stress in my eyes. He gave an encouraging nod.

"Go on, honey. It's okay." He said. I nodded. "Jacob Black." I closed my eyes. Flashes of his sneering face filled my mind. I flinched, my eyes snapping back open. Charlie was gripping my hand tighter, his face incredulous. "Jacob Black? Billy Black's son?" I nodded.

"Embry Call." I muttered, taking a deep breath. "And...Mike Newton." I whispered, barely any volume in my cracking voice. Nurses and doctors bustled around me and out in the hall. Charlie stood up then, fishing his notepad from his jacket pocket and a pen.

He wrote their names down. "Do you know where they live, Bells?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Except you know where Jacob lives." I reminded him. He nodded. "Honey, I have to go and make sure the station knows about these guys." I nodded. "Do what you have to, Dad." I said in a shaky voice, more tears flowed. He smiled tightly, kissed my fore head and then stormed out of the building. He was a man on a mission now. It was oddly reassuring.

But it also horrified me at the same time. I hoped they hadn't adopted any weapons they might use against the police.

I shuddered, not wanting to think about them anymore. Their rancid, insane plans ate away at my _own _sanity.

~~~___~~~

Justice. Sometimes it was dished out to the wrong-doers of society, other times it wasn't. Those times made me angry and frustrated with the world. This time? I was scared and pissed. I was so fucking angry that they hadn't been caught. It was raking havoc on my stress levels.

I was locking the doors and windows, and re-checking them every ten minutes or so.

It had been three days! Three days and Mike, Jacob and Embry were no-where to be found!

How was that possible? It was times like these where I really questioned the existence of God. And yet again, there was nothing I could do. I hadn't spoken to Edward in three days.

Three days too long. It was driving me more insane than waiting for my would-be killers to be found.

My nails were bitten down all the way and I couldn't stop myself from gnawing on my lip every five seconds. I was a nervous wreck.

If it weren't for Charlie sending a patrol car to scour our neighbourhood every couple of hours, I would go completely nuts. I was sure that it wasn't healthy behaviour I was investing my energy into. But what could one do?

When their lives were on the line? The person you needed most couldn't be seen with you, and you were stuck all alone in your empty house for three whole days, how was that fair?

I tried to occupy myself—unsuccessfully—by reading a book. It didn't help in the least. It only made me more anxious after I read an excerpt about murder. I shuddered, throwing the book at the wall. It made a dull thud before falling to the floor.

I curled up in my bed and thought about investing in some thicker curtains for my window, or maybe a steel framed security screen. How about I just brick it over? I wanted Edward with me so badly it was almost enough to make me go and look for him.

But I knew what that would look like. I would be gone from the house and when the unit drove past, they would see my truck gone and inform Charlie. He would go into a fit at me for being so irresponsible when I wasn't safe outside.

That was the only thing holding me back—that and how terrified I was of them finding me. Almost as terrified as I was about them finding Edward. If they thought he was a 'cold one' like they thought I was. What could they possibly do to him if they ever crossed his path? I knew that Edward could look after himself. That I was aware of, but it didn't escape my nagging conscious that he might get hurt because of these...creeps.

I bit down on my pillow to keep my sobbing quiet. I heard the patrol car inching past the driveway, it's tires making audible noise across the loose gravel. I sighed in marginal relief. Their presence, if not keeping Edward at bay from seeing me, was helping me a little. It wasn't until I heard a faint slam of a car door that I started to freak out.

I jumped up out of bed, grabbing Charlie's baseball bat that was now stowed by my door.

I held it with both hands and slowly made my way down the stairs to the front door. A fist pounded against the wood, causing me to jump and squeak. "Bella? It's me." I practically ran into the door, fumbling with the locks to get it open so that I could see his beautiful face.

"Edward!" I almost screamed. I jumped into his arms, dropping the baseball bat on the floor.

It clattered against the wood. His arms encircled me as my face met with his. I kissed hungrily and greedily.

Tasting him as he did with me. "I've missed you," I sobbed tearlessly. Although my cheeks were still damp from crying upstairs. He pulled his face from mine to gently stroke my bruised cheek. He smiled tightly.

"I've missed you, too. I've been going out of my mind with worry." He said in his husky tone. Something in his expression shifted.

He put me down on my feet, his hands still on my arms. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his shirt.

I inhaled like an alcoholic guzzling a bottle of bourbon. It was delicious, familiar and comforting. He pulled me back from him and I frowned, puzzled. He knelt down before me and took my hands with his. "You need to tell me what happened, Bella." He said in a soft, sure tone. Perfectly sculpted sentence.

He must have been practising that for days. I took his face in my hands. "You have to promise me something."I bargained.

He nodded. "Anything." He breathed, gazing up at me with wide-eyes.

"You have to let the police do their jobs. This has nothing to do with you." He nodded curtly. I took a deeo breath before following. "I was going to the library for Biology," Edward groaned in exasperation but I went on. "I know, stupid. Let me finish." I ordered.

He sighed, grasping my hips now. "I found them in there, they were tearing books apart and throwing them on the fire."

"Who is them?" Edward asked off-handedly. "Mike Newton, Jacob Black and Embry Call." As soon as the names left my mouth I knew I regretted saying them.

Edward slowly rose to his feet. He dropped his hands from my hips and turned for the door, wrenching it open with enough force to bring it off the hinges.

"You promised!" I yelled. He couldn't go off like this. What if something happened to him? I could never live with myself. And then there was the unmistakeable fact that he was _supposed _to be an uninvolved third party observer, someone who had no involvement with the situation or me for that matter. But if he ended up killing those boys before they killed—wince—him. He would go to jail—what was that worth?

Why would you waste your life on doing something like that?

Of course, I wanted them dead. I wouldn't rest easy until they were locked up or in the ground.

But Edward could be throwing his life away. Throwing _us_ away. Throwing _me_ away. All for revenge.

"No, Edward! Please!" I begged as he started stalking down the street to his car. "Stay with me!" I cried. I ran after him, his back turned to me, his shoulders tense and his footsteps were wide and purposeful."Let the police deal with it! Stop going off like some vigilante killer and stay with me!" He paused in his movements. "This has everything to do with me." He said in a hard voice. "Anything to do with you has _everything_ to do with me." He muttered.

"Where are you going?" I demanded frantically. "Vigilante mission," He muttered and began stalking quickly toward his Volvo. I choked on a response before I bolted to stop him. I was surprised at how quick I was. Maybe when it concerned Edward plus adrenaline, I was unstoppable.

"Stop!" I demanded, trying to grab his jacket. "If you do this, you're throwing your life away!" He shook his head, not caring.

Of course, that was the wrong angle to take. He didn't care about his life anymore. "I'm not throwing anything away." He spat defensively. His sharp tone made my anger and frustration about not seeing him boil over. How dare he? "Wait!" I cried. He slowed and I raced faster, as he turned around unsuspectingly.

I tackled him to the ground—not an easy feat when he is six, four and I'm five, five or there about. Plus I only weighed like, what, half of him?

But I managed to pin him long enough for him to be shocked about it. I was on top of him beside his car.

"You. Are. Throwing. Everything. Away." I said angrily. "Are you seriously going to let us go?" I asked incredulously, shaking my head. He was staring up at me, bewildered. I was straddling him, my hands holding his forearms to the ground—although I knew he could overpower me at any second. My hands were trembling slightly.

"You do this. And it's finished between us. You are willingly tearing us a part! You're taking yourself away from me!" I accused viciously.

"How dare you? How is that fair!" He blinked, seeming to come to terms with what he was about to do. "Holy shit." He mumbled. I nodded.

"What if you succeeded in this stupid-as-fuck attempt to kill these guys? Hmm? That would have been the last time I ever saw you. You'd either be dead—" my voice cracked and I flinched. "Or you'd be in jail." I loosened my grip on his arms but he stayed still.

"It may have everything to do with you. But what's more important? Killing them? Or staying with me?" I shook my head.

"The answer should be easy." I whispered, against his face. He sighed. I pushed myself off of him—the position was clouding my head with dirty thoughts and this was supposed to be a serious situation. I turned my back on his shocked face and sauntered back to the house.

I slammed the door behind me but didn't lock it. He came in a few moments later.

I heard the door close lightly, the lock clicking into place. I expected him to whisper apologies in my ear, but he stayed silent.

The apology in the silence was clear enough. He grabbed my shoulders roughly, turning me around and bringing his lips down on mine hard.

I moaned into his mouth. How much had I missed this? Not just Edward himself, but what we shared together. MY hands went straight to his jacket.

I pulled it off his arms and threw it across the floor. He kicked his shoes off, his hands expertly undoing my jeans. I unbuckled his belt. Somehow, everything we did wasn't fast enough. I needed him immediately. I needed to be as close as I could get and somehow that still wasn't close enough. I fisted my hands in his shirt, bringing his mouth back down to mine. Our lips parted feverishly, my tongue slid into his mouth as did his with mine. They moved together hungrily while our hands worked on undressing the other. I felt his hands on the small of my back, pressing me closer to his body.

"Edward!" I gasped as his hands grabbed my legs, hitching them up around his hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck while he carried me upstairs. If I had to walk up stairs with my eyes closed, I'd impale myself halfway. He was graceful and lithe, clearing it in seconds.

I felt the bed beneath me, our lips breaking apart, his fingers grazing down my body and then hooking into the waistband of my jeans before pulling them down my thighs and over my ankles. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, pulling them down himself as I threw my shirt over my bed.

I watched as he pulled his own shirt off—revealing his toned, muscular chest. Too long since I had seen this.

Too long it was a crime. The feel of his hands against my skin sent me into a frenzy. I gasped his name frantically. He groaned into my neck as I tugged his hair. His fingers unclasped my bra, throwing that aside with the rest of my clothes. He cupped both my breasts in his two hands. I lay back with a moan, biting my lip with my eyes rolling back in my head.

I was moist with anticipation. "Oh, god," I whimpered as his teeth grazed down over my nipples.

He caught one in his mouth and I felt myself tense at the thought of what was coming.

My heart was slamming hard against the inside of my chest, my breathing was rapid and uncontrolled.

He trailed his tongue over my navel and back up to my breasts. My finger nails dug into the skin of his shoulders.

He shuddered, his finger dug into my hips. He relaxed them slightly, guiding them down to my hot centre.

I arched my back off the bed, begging for his fingers to enter me. "Please, Edward!" I moaned, biting down on my lip to keep from screaming in frustration. Two or more fingers slid into me. His thumb moved up my slick folds and over my aching clit. He rubbed it while pulling his fingers in and out, curling them now and then.

I moaned and gasped with each delicious movement his hand made. My eyes bulged out of my head as I felt his tongue lick over my entrance.

He teased my clit with his mouth before I pulled him back up to meet my face. He slid his tongue inside my mouth. Now that our bodies were aligned I could feel his pulsing erection between my thighs. He was breathing hard, his eyes hooded. I pushed him over onto his back, kneeling on the bed, just hovering over his tip. He closed his eyes and groaned, letting his head fall back against the bed. My hands moved to his chest and I lowered myself onto him.

I let out a pleasured cry. I moaned and whimpered as bobbed up and down on his hard length.

He propped himself up on his elbows, watching me move against him before sitting up entirely and grasping at my hips.

His lips pressed against my stomach. I gasped and rocked harder as I felt him gently tug at my nipple with his teeth. "Edward!" I groaned. He swore.

"Ah, fuck! Bella," he panted, groaning against my skin. I was quickening my movements, I needed to find that release. I could feel it fast approaching, my skin was dewed with sweat, my pulse beating hard and our movements were desperate. I fisted my hand in his hair and let my head fall back.

I was nearing an orgasm, I could feel it getting closer and closer as I rocked my hips against his.

He grasped my waist with one hand and my hip with the other. He lifted me off him effortlessly and pushed me down on the bed beside him. I was on my hands and knees when he entered me again. I had to bite my lip again to keep from screaming his name.

"Fuck! Edward! Jesus!" I panted as he slammed his rock hard erection into me again and again.

His fingers dug into my hips again, guiding my body onto his with each pump. My arms were weak and I could barely hold myself up as he worked, pushing me to that blissful relief. "Almost," I gasped as he moved in and out. He grunted and swore. "So...close..." I moaned.

One of his hands moved from my hip to my stomach. I felt him lean over a bit further, still rocking, but his hand kept moving lower. His fingers reached my clit, massaging it. "Oh fuck!" I groaned. "Shit!" I spluttered. Wave upon wave of pleasure crashed over my sweaty body.

He emptied himself inside of me, panting and swearing. "Edward," I whispered, breathless, closing my eyes as I slumped onto my stomach.

He lay down by my side, rolling me over onto my back so I was lying half-way across his chest, staring at the ceiling.

I could feel his heart beat against my back. His hand moved up and down my stomach in lazy lines and shapes before they skimmed over my wet centre again. I tensed and gasped. His fingers plunged into me again, his lips against my neck and his other hand cupping my breast. My hands were fisted in the sheets on either side of our bodies.

He rubbed my swollen clit with his thumb until I tightened convulsively around his fingers. He gave me an orgasm for the second time.

Was he not perfect? I clenched my fists as my body trembled and shook. I turned my face around to kiss him. I was saying thank you.

Thank fuck.

~~~___~~~

I wanted to go to school the next day. I needed to get out of the house.

And the only way I could see Edward was at school. So I _had_ to go. Charlie had the patrol car drive me to school and made plans for them to pick me up. It was embarrassing enough to be me—why did he have to make it worse? Though I guess I can't hold it against him. Of course I couldn't. He was only protecting me. I sighed and quietly thanked Aro and Gianna. They were both rookies but they knew how to get a job done.

They were also Italian believe it or not—cousins. They moved to America a couple years ago, needing to expand their horizons.

What better way to do that than trap yourself in Forks-buttfucking-Washington? I smiled gratefully at their hospitality, genuinely polite and concerned with the chief's daughter's safety. They didn't just do it because it was their job, they did it because the enjoyed it.

"Thanks guys." I murmured behind the plastic divider that separated the front seat from the back seat.

It was kind of intimidating riding in the back—like a criminal. But before now, it had hardly been used, thanks to the low crime rate in Forks.

It had been a long time since anyone had been murdered, possibly twenty years or so. I hopped out of the car, closing the door behind me and sheepishly making my way up to the school's entrance. I kept my eyes on the ground and waited for Ang to find me. I took a seat at one of the picnic benches outside the cafeteria and waited. I picked the peeling green paint with my fingernail until it started drizzling. I grumbled like a petulant three year old before going inside to find my locker.

I savoured my English lesson whilst Edward cast glances at me from across the room.

He was incredibly tense as I could tell from his stiff words and rigid pose. I went to visit him at lunch—part of our routine. He asked me to wait for him after school. I wanted to agree, but I had the patrol car picking me up—no exceptions. He couldn't argue with that, could he? Instead we made plans that he would sneak over to my house again, like yesterday.

I smiled and kissed him before I left at the bell. My mood was slightly better for the rest of the day, save for the odd panic attack. But I was collecting myself by the time the bell rang for the day to end. I sighed and gathered my books, standing up and stowing my bag over my shoulder.

I sat under the shelter just outside the cafeteria while I waited for the patrol car.

They were late.

Very late. I had to have been waiting for around two hours. I knew I ought to get a lift with Edward—he was still here. He was probably waiting for me to go, watching me from his office or something. To anyone else it would have been creepy or disturbing. But it just made me feel comforted and secure, even outside.

I fumbled around with my IPod before a car rounded the corner. I was about to stand but then realised it wasn't the blue car with lights on the roof.

I squinted off into the distance. A familiar face popped out of the window. "Bella!" Angela called frantically.

My eyes popped out of my head—something seemed wrong. "Ang! What's wrong?" I yelled, running toward her across the wet blacktop. My bag swung around my body, I tried to get a hold of it. I reached her window where she leaned out into the rain. "What's wrong?" I repeated anxiously at the panicked look in her eyes.

"It's Ben," she choked. I frowned and shook my head—it may have been a little selfish of me to be less worried. "Has something happened...?" I prodded.

She nodded. "What?" I pressed. She gulped and grasped my hand in hers. "Bella you have to come with me." She begged. "I think he's part of that cult," she spluttered before a heart-breaking sob escaped her lips. My eyes widened and I knew I should have run up to the school but...well, I was kind of stupid. And Angela was desperate.

"Maybe I should call my Dad—" I suggested but she cut me off. "There's no time!" she cried. I sighed and ran over to the passenger door.

"We need to get him out of there!" she was hysterical—she wasn't thinking properly. It was around five o'clock and the sun was dimming outside.

It was also getting colder but thankfully the rain had died down for a while. I stared at Angela for a moment, she threw her car into gear before gunning it out of the lot and onto the main road which lead to the highway. I gripped the seat at her excessive speed. She was so worried about him.

Oh, god. Ben was part of the cult—it all seemed to fit, his weird behaviour, his absence from school... I hadn't seen him at all since Ang broke up with him.

But it was obvious she still harboured something strong for the boy. I guess I owed it to her, after her months of fierce loyalty—I should help her out.

I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket. I groaned. No service. I felt my eyes growing heavy, I closed my eyes—all this stress about the fire, Jacob, Embry and Mike, I was just so exhausted from being afraid. "Ang, we need to stop somewhere. The police station. I know you love him—"

"No Bella! He'll be killed or something if they show up. We need to make sure he's safe before we call them, okay?" she said in a rushed voice—it was in stark contrast to her usual calm, serene tone. I just about gnawed my bottom lip as we neared the outskirts of La Push.

I could see Angela bouncing in her seat, fearful and uneasy. As I studied her more closely, I could see her nails bitten down to the quick, her eyes were droopy with dark purple circles under them. Her skin was pale and she looked sick. What kind of friend was I? For over-looking my friend's obvious impending breakdown. Anyone less selfish than me would have noticed! We were silent as she parked on the kerb near the sea cliffs. There was a crowd of people just ahead. I was about to protest that we were too close when she hit the brakes. They were surrounding a pyre, a mound of branches and sticks that they set alight.

They seemed to be conversing about something, but with the windows closed, I couldn't hear anything. Just a faint chanting.

I shuddered, slumping down lower in my seat as I watched them throw branches of driftwood over the fire—blue flames licked up the wood.

What were they preparing for? "Do they do this every night?" I asked Angela. She didn't answer me, she was staring out the windshield. "Where's Ben? I don't see him." I glanced at her again, she must be scared to death, why did I let her drag us here? I should have called Edward or Charlie. Just as I was internally slapping myself, Angela shifted in her seat, her hand whipping out to open the door. "Angela! Get down!" I hissed but she was already out of the car.

_STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!_ I groaned, knowing that what I was about to do would most likely get me killed by Edward and Charlie, if not by the cult first.

_You stupid fuck! _My brain told me. _I know. I know._ I fought with my own thoughts before I followed a rogue Angela who was fast approaching the group of deranged killers.

I could just grab her and drag her back to the car. I would drive. We would get help. Our safety had to come first. I swore and flung myself forward until I could reach her arm.

My fingers grasped her elbow and jerked her back. "Are you fucking crazy?" I demanded. She gasped and hissed as if the movement had hurt her. I dragged her back but she wouldn't budge. She fought against my pull until she shook my arm off with a growl. I wrapped an arm around her waist and she shoved me off.

I stared, confused, bewildered and terrified. I watched her cradle her side with her arm—just over her ribs. My head jolted with a memory.

_I lifted my eyes, a terrified shriek falling from my lips. I didn't even look back to see if the person in black followed. I ran. I ran like the fucking wind. But, unlike normal people—I can't stay vertical for extended periods of time, being that of more than two minutes. I slipped on the watery floor boards, slipping. _

_I screamed as a hand grabbed me by the back of the hair. I tried twisting around so I could be on my back, a less vulnerable position when I had my arms and legs free to protect myself. I wrenched my foot out toward the black clothed man—he wasn't very muscular, he was lean but tall, his face covered with a black balaclava. _

_Tall enough that he could probably have the upper hand. And, I was scared; he already had me pinned on the ground. _

_"Get off me!" I shrieked, kicking at them. They stayed silent, no growled threats, no talking at all. My foot connected with his stomach and I thought I heard a crunching sound. Victory! I had used enough force to possibly fracture or even break a rib or two. _

_He swore quietly before fleeing._

He was not a he. She lunged at me then. I screamed bloody murder--a likely outcome.

**:O:O:O:O:O:O did any of you see that coming? I didn't think so! Hehehe! Hope you liked it :)**

**Hayley, my faithful reader. This is dedicated to you.**

**~~School daze~~**

**_Edward: Hey, Hay-hay!_**

**_Hayley: *glares at Edward from her desk*_**

**_Edward: *grins*_**

**_Hayley: *sighs before standing to strut over to Edward*_**

**_Edward: *frowns and puts crayons back in his pencil case* _**

**_Hayley: I heard you were gay...*lifts eye brow*_**

**_Edward: *scoffs* If I were gay, I'd dress better. I'd have woman all over me...oh...wait. No, scratch that--It--I--whatever anyone's told you, it's a lie! So you see, I thought Tanya was a chick. I swear those are the biggest man-boobs I've ever seen...on a man..._**

**_Hayley: I was kidding._**

**_Edward: Well, I'm not gay. *sweeps paper and 'indecent affairs' manuscript off desk* See, look here... *points to sweaty bum mark*_**

**_Hayley: Who's is that?_**

**_Edward: BiroBird's. *winks* It's kind of like Hollywood boulevard...except you don't leave hand prints....you leave ass prints...on mah desk.._**

**_Hayley: Am I famous enough?_**

**_Edward: Baby, don't tempt me. I'm so wound up, my little man is like a jack-in-the-box. He could come out at anytime._**

**_Hayley: *sighs then strokes desk* Jacob would do me.... *looks up innocently*_**

**_Edward: *pounces*_**

**_Hayley: *does victory dance in her head*_**

**_Edward: ROWRR!!_**

**NIIIIICEEE.. Anyway. I should bestow that as a reward to great reviewers. I will place your name up under 'HOLLYWOOD BUM-E-VARD' on my profile If you are an excellent reviwer, but you have to say if you don't want your name there. ;) I would also love to know more about my reviewers...like what kind of reviewrs I have. HOW OLD ARE YOU GUYS? HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD FANFIC? AND WHY DOES MY STORY APPEAL TO YOU? Of course you don't have to reviews but...uh...well, you know....I have a cult. ;)**

**Reviews are better than asparagus...blech!**


	28. Help, I'm alive

**Hey guys! I've been leaving you hanging haven't I? God, I can be such the crude bitch. Anywho, here it is, what you've all been waiting for, checking your e-mails everyday to see if I've updated--don't worry I check my e-mails everyday to see if you've reviews or favourited LOL. So, I mean...ahem, I'm not obsessive compulsive or anything *bites nails* That just isnt in my nature, man *strokes Robert Pattinson poster***

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Warning to those of faint hearts: Listen up peeps, coz I'm only going to say this once. Okay? Okay. Well, this chapter of Indecent Affairs contains violence--which isnt that bad, but what you should be warned of before you read is that there is also sexual content. I don't want to spoil the story here. But if you don't think you can handle, please don't mentally fuck yourself up by reading ahead. Good. We all cool? Sweet.

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_**"I tremble.**_

_**They're gonna eat me alive.**_

_**If I stumble.**_

_**They're gonna eat me alive.**_

_**Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer, beating like a hammer.**_

_**Help I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer."**_

_Metric-Help, I'm Alive_

My throat ached painfully from the raking scream. "Get off me!" I shrieked, clawing at her enraged face.

She pinned me to the ground—having the element of surprise on her side. Yet I had the upper hand—Angela was injured, quite badly. It was enough to incapacitate her temporarily, if only for a few seconds, which is what I needed to escape. I would jab her in the ribs. That should help me get away from this crazy bitch.

I struck out—collecting her side with my booted foot. She yelped and staggered back, rolling off of me.

I gasped in some air and noticed that our little scuffle hadn't gone unnoticed by the group chanting around the fire. They caught my ill-shocked face, glanced at each other and then came running.

I quickly got to my feet, kicking Angela out of my way before I fled for the safe cover of the trees. Sun was so dim that it was ultimately darker under the canopy of spruces and fir trees. Even though they were my safe haven, they were making this harder to find my way . Especially now that I was blinded by tears.

I was breathing heavy and choking on tears as I stumbled my way over the uprooted stumps and fallen trees, in and around the moss covered trunks. I heard them shouting behind me. I recognised Jacob's voice, low and husky but filled with a feral rage that sounded all too familiar.

It echoed through the vast expanse of forest ahead of me, sending chilling tingles up my spine.

I fought through the shrubs and tangles of branches that blocked my path.

My pulse beat in my ears and my skin was covered in a sheen of sweat but all I felt was icy cold.

My lungs felt like they were going to burst with exhaustion. I was trembling with the sudden immense fear that this could be it. I had had some close calls in the past—brushing arms with death and escaping barely intact. This felt different—this time I was running so fast, so frantically because how long can someone evade death?

When it is out to get you all the time? How many times can one get lucky? The reason I was so much more terrified, fighting so hard now, was because it felt like I had used my luck up. I felt death amidst these guys—this felt a lot like the end. The end of me. My heart broke and tore a part at the thought of never seeing Edward again.

It was also stinging with fierce betrayal—Angela, my trusted friend, was one of them. Again, how could I be so stupid as to getting in that car with her?

Warning bells were going off inside my brain the moment she showed up. But I was more worried about why she was upset, then about whether she was genuine or not. Whether or not I should have trusted her, or anyone for that matter.

It was a constant nagging, the fear of being stalked and threatened, that I had forgotten to look closer to home—for a mole. Someone who had invaded my trust circle. I supposed, distantly, that it could have been genuine in the beginning, before all of this cult business was established.

I paused a moment to swish my head around in the direction of my pursuers. My breath caught in my throat, there was more than just Jacob trying to catch me.

Angela had regained her composure and was racing toward me with frightening speed. On her other side was Mike, his nostrils flared and an excited smirk on his lips. I gulped and turned on my heel—bolting head long for further cover from the dense woodland. I could hide somewhere. They wouldn't be able to search forever.

They had to give up some time. I hoped they would...I was so tired. It wasn't just from running through the forest to escape their murderous clutches—it was from running, period. I was just so exhausted from running scared. I was about to collapse from exertion if I couldn't get a break soon.

Incidentally, I tripped and fell on my hands and knees against the dirt. Twigs and leaves dug into my palms.

I hissed, trying frantically to get to my feet before they caught up with me and pounced.

I could see flashlights bobbing across the trees in front of me, moving with each step they took. At least they had something to guide them. I would either tough this out blindly through the dark trees and get caught after falling flat on my face again, or I would make my way back to them and give myself up—forget about fighting anymore.

That was not the right thing to do. What would Edward do? If it was him, he would fight, he would fight like there was no tomorrow.

Even if there literally _was_ no tomorrow, I knew that he would fight tonight, to escape with his life it that meant spending the rest of it with me, even for a few hours. That was why I couldn't surrender to the enemy—the worthless, soulless enemy. They didn't deserve what they desired to do. Of course they didn't.

And giving in to them would be letting them have it, letting them have me. Edward would be furious with me for even getting out alive.

He would be so utterly enraged that the thought of it almost made me smile. I would cry and cheer in happiness if I got to see his face, I would take it even if it was angry, cemented in a mask of hostility. At least it was still his face. I could see it now, before my stinging, blurry eyes.

A perfect apparition that still couldn't compare to the real thing, but it was enough motivation to get my aching muscles to push further into the dark abyss. The smell of the fire and burnt wood was receding from around me. I was retreating fast and the dim orange glow was disappearing with it, but the torch lights still bobbed around me like spotlights with gunmen.

There were barely any sounds though...just my ragged breathing, grating painfully up and down my throat, the odd forest animal, scurrying out of my path... There was nothing else—the shouting had stopped.

I coughed, swallowing hard to try and breathe properly. I skid along the bracken at the base of a large tree.

I rounded it, hiding in the dark shadows it provided. I felt the moss covered bark under my shaking hands.

I had twigs in my hair and I was sure that my clothing had ripped somewhere along the way. I still had my sweater on, my jacket was in Angela's car.

She had the keys with her so I had no other choice but to run instead of going to the car. It's like she had thought of every way her plan could backfire...apart from me poking her in the ribs—she had definitely not counted on me doing that. I stared back where I saw them moving closer.

They were small dark, figures in the distance now. I doubted they could even see me anymore.

My perilous escape attempt may not have been in vain after all. _Run, Bella!_ Edward's voice broke through my ears, surprisingly close even though I knew he wasn't really here. I bit my lip to keep from sobbing at the sound of his beautiful melodic voice. It was enraged with molten fury—just as I had imagined it would be. I turned back around to get farther away from their approach. I was slower now, trying to avoid grabbing their attention now that I was out of their view.

My heart was still hammering painfully against my ribs. I was scared that the sound of it may be enough to give me away.

I stopped behind another tree. _Bella, you need to do better than this._ Edward chastised me. "Bella!" I heard Jake call.

Edward growled in response. I was breathing heavy, and I tried to stifle the sound with the sleeve of my sweater. I glanced around nervously.

Maybe I could climb a tree? _You must get away from them, Bella._ He demanded in a sharp tone. I sucked in a breath and moved away from the trunk of the spruce. I bowed down at the waist, my hands almost touching the ground with my knees bent. I was ducking low so they would have more trouble seeing me. I was trying the best I could to remain inconspicuous. I was hastily jogging now, my legs were too sore to run anymore. Now that they were at a safe distance, I didn't have to flat-out sprint.

I leaned against another tree, a mass of slippery, moss covered rocks around the base where I crouched.

_Keep hidden, Bella. When you can't hear them anymore, you need to keep going, find the road again, or a house._ Edward's velvety tone soothed the ache of fear in my stomach. I nodded to myself and to him. "Okay," I whispered. I slowly rose to my feet before I felt the panicked prickle of hairs on the nape of my neck.

I backed away from the tree and ran into another tree. _Get out of there!_ Edward yelled. "Oomf," I froze. Trees did not make that sound. I stumbled forward but was already caught in the arms of someone. "I've got her!" They called loudly. I shook and struggled with all of my might. "No!" I screamed but it was muffled by his palm.

I stomped my foot on his, earning a curse through clenched teeth. Edward was roaring profanities in my head and I wondered if I had hit my head to bring these hallucinations on. I bit the palm of my attacker. "Arghh! Hurry!" he shouted. He shoved my forward, I tripped over the rocks, hitting my head.

I screamed loudly then—searing pain shot through my skull, a pounding throb began where I struck the rock. I tried getting to my feet and for the first time, I saw who it was. "You traitor!" I screeched. Alec came forward then, grabbing my arm and dragging me along with him.

"Fuck you! Let go of me!" I kicked him where it hurt most. I ran but the head wound slowed me down. It wasn't before long that I came to a crashing halt—my vision blurring before my stomach heaved into the shrubs. I stumbled over, landing on my hands and knees before completely blacking out—a ringing in my ears.

Off in the distance, I hear someone approach.

~~~___~~~

The moon was perched high in the sky when I regained consciousness. My head spun dizzily and my head was throbbing. I was on my back on something cold and uncomfortable. I moved my head to my right and I could see the orange ominous glow of the fire.

I groaned, my breathing picking up. I lifted my hand to my head, only to find my wrists bound together with a thick chain. I stared at my crude shackles and then around me. Angela stood at my head, Jacob at my feet. To my right, was Embry and Mike. To my left was Alec and Quil—a Quileute boy, one that I had only met once.

They were all holding hands. I stared up at them incredulously. They were holding hands with their heads bowed and their eyes closed.

I gazed around me. They were chanting something—something in Quileute that I had no idea of the meaning. I sat up frantically.

I didn't see Ben here anywhere—obviously Angela had used it as a ploy to get me here. His absence may have nothing to do with the cult.

I had wrongly assumed he was involved. How stupid and naive I felt now. I tried getting to my feet but Mike—who broke from the circle, pinned me down, putting a hand on my hip and shoulder. "Stay still," he growled. "Go to hell!" I snapped back—although my voice sounded strong, I was far from it. I felt something strike my head.

Angela's shoe kicked me. I screamed, my head rolling to the left. I sobbed, and choked on bile. I could see the sea cliffs, the moon over head and the stars that were being slowly obscured by a thick blanket of rain clouds. Mike's hands were firm, his fingers digging into my body—I clenched my teeth together to keep from vomiting again. My head was spinning and the earth was whirling around me. "You'll never get away with this!" I breathed, trying to keep a grip on my consciousness.

"The fuck we will," Alec sneered. I stared up at him, appalled. "Don't look so surprised," Jacob said. I shifted my gaze to him and glared balefully at him. I had never felt such intense hatred for any one person in all my life. "Dask'iya," he whispered. I shuddered and Mike chuckled.

"Angela, you can leave us now. Your job is done. We will be the ones to finish this," Embry said to Angela, who's face I couldn't see. I tried moving my face to meet her eyes. "Angela! Wait! Don't leave me here!" I cried, desperation thick in my tone. I could just make out her scowl in the darkness—it told me she held no remorse for me.

"How could you do this to me?" I demanded in a hoarse voice. She shook her head and laughed darkly.

"You were right, she does try to be innocent. We all know what you are!" she hissed. I recoiled from her—her words were far from offensive, really, but they sent chills through my body, churning icy pangs of fear into my stomach. She muttered something to Embry before she retreated, getting into her car and then speeding off down the gravel road.

I turned my fearful attention back to the boys surrounding me. Big, heavy Jacob, fierce, eager Mike, sinister Embry and Alec—I had no idea what his motivations were. "Why Alec? What did I ever do—" "To deserve this?" he snarled, finishing my sentence with more malice than the hurt in my words.

"You. Did. _Everything_!" he growled, getting to his knees. He grabbed my face with his hand. "I actually _liked_ you, Bella!" he spat. I whimpered and tried to break free but he grasped my chin tighter. Embry made a disgusted noise in the back of his throat.

"That was until I learned about you fucking Mr. Cullen. You slut! You just open your legs to a blood sucking leech? You try fucking Jacob? But we all know what you were trying to do!" He shoved my face away and I was full-on crying now. "I wasn't trying to do anything!" I sobbed.

"I'm not some reincarnation of Dask'iya!" Mike piped in then.

"Then how do you explain what Alec saw in the music room? Huh? You just accidentally opened your top up? And what about what Ang saw in the English room? You fell on his dick? Is that it?!" he yelled.

I writhed under his restraining hands, hoping to kick him in the process. But I didn't count on Jake intervening, trapping my legs with his arms. "Let me go!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. My right leg came free, I brought it up with force.

My boot met Jacob's face with a harsh crunch.

His head snapped back and blood splattered over us.

I was pretty sure I had knocked him out. Alec came down on me then, putting his forearm against my throat while wielding an antique looking knife in the other. He twirled it expertly in his fingers before handing it to Embry who leered at me. I stopped moving, afraid of what they might do if I did.

Embry leant down too, holding me firmly to the ground. Mike moved to my legs, pushing Jacob's limp form out of the way. I was trembling and whimpering as he grinned in sick anticipation. "You want to fuck everything that moves? Then fine. But you won't enjoy it," Mike muttered.

"No, no, no!" I began to beg frantically. "I'll do anything, just please!" I tried bargaining.

"I'll leave here. I won't ever come back to Forks. Just let me go!" I shrieked, grasping at straws.

Maybe bartering would get them to leave me alone. Maybe if I lied and admitted to them that I _was_ in fact, this Dask'iya, I could either make a deal—never to come across their paths again or seduce any tribal men—or I could threaten with a so called 'war'. I supposedly was one of the 'cold ones', would they back down if I told them they were already out there looking for me? These insane contingencies were starting to sound more reasonable—I had tried begging and this was my last resort.

To confess a lie.

But they didn't seem scared of me—I was more scared of them, and they knew this fact. They were drinking up my fear as if it were a fine wine.

They wouldn't listen to me, to my pleas. Because they were enjoying themselves. Alec and Embry had pleasurable smiles on their faces—their eyes alight with joy, a sick joy of what they were about to watch. I kicked my legs at Mike. I clipped him over the shoulder. He grunted, grabbing my ankle.

I screamed—there was no other option now. Bargaining for a release would only anger or amuse them—they were not mentally stable, so what were my chances of them agreeing to something I offered? Unless it was defeat. I heard him unbuckle his metal belt and then the zipper of his jeans.

I thrashed under their hold. Embry held the knife in front of my face—I got a better look at it then.

It had a gold hilt—simple but intricate at the same time. There were ancient scrawlings over the blade that curved at the tip. It was sharp and could easily cut through my skin like a bread knife through butter. I sucked in a sharp breath as he gently pressed it to my cheek.

The cold metal bit into my skin but only slightly, like a pin prick. I could barely see anymore through the thick veil of tears flooding my eyes.

Mike spread my legs apart, kneeling between my thighs as he opened his pants up for viewing. I grit my teeth and closed my eyes. I spluttered and sobbed, uselessly bound at the wrists. I would fail even if I tried to get away. His fingers dug into my skin, clawing roughly at my hips as he tried tugging my jeans down my legs.

"Undo them," Embry growled impatiently. Mike obliged, his disgusting fingers trailing across the waist band of the denim fabric before unbuttoning then unzipping my pants.

I gasped and wailed, flailing my legs to keep him from doing what he wanted. I noticed that Quil was just standing off to the side. He wasn't participating, but from the glint in his eye, he looked like the type who enjoyed watching without getting his hands dirty. Alec groped my chest as he watched Mike pull my pants down my legs.

The cold, icy air that swept over the ocean pricked against my bare skin—making me shudder uncontrollably. From the pain of being crushed under Embry and Alec, to the rough hands of Mike, pulling my hips closer to him, the freezing air that whipped around my half-naked body, the exhaustion of my lungs and the soreness of my muscles—I was in agony.

He didn't hesitate—entering me with excruciating force.

I gasped and screamed—before I heard a ear-splitting, feral growl escape his lips.

**So what did you think? Don't you just want to slice open Mike's nads and rip that motherfucker to shreds? Thats what I feel like doing. And to the others. Although I'm glad she managed to clock Jacob in the face. I was like this to my computer "You fuck head, why the fuck? What the f--What, jesus!" *tears papers up* "You're gonna die, oh, OH, YOUR GONNA _DIE!!_" **

**And then Edward came up behind me and was all like "calm down, baby, it's just a story..."**

**He got three lashings/spankings.**

**We spent the rest of the night in bed.**

**He's extra growl-y when he's being punished.**

**I like it.**

***CLEARS THROAT* so uh, yeah. Hope you like it!!**

**LOVE TO YOU GUYS THAT REVIEWED AND FAVOURITED!**

**i'mxaxreader, you're awesome! Go read her story-- I kissed who? (it is DA BOMB!) Bitch please.**


	29. Feral

_He didn't hesitate—entering me with excruciating force. I gasped and screamed—before I heard an ear-splitting, feral growl escape his lips._

I could almost feel his anticipation, his sick excitement as it radiated from him. I was imagining what it would be like—for him to violate me so severely. I was readying myself—going through the worst scenarios I could think of.

I naively thought that if I tried desensitising myself—that when Mike actually _did_ rape me, I wouldn't be in as much pain or shock. My basic survival instincts, deeply ingrained in my brain, stopped me from just laying back.

I fought against the three boys with all I had. I kicked at Mike, sparing him no agony.

I fisted my hands and tried hitting Alec and Embry who had me pinned.

It was futile, of course, next to their brute strength. My nails raked across Embry's cheek, causing blood to well up in the deep lines across his face. He swore, cupping his hand to his cheek as he tried with one hand to restrain me. I was not going down without a fight.

But fight as I might, I was in an already lost battle. Alec gripped both my arms with his, holding them to my sides as Embry raised the dagger in his hand.

Mike was still trying to stop me from kicking him, his nails dug into my hips and I cried out again, as he put more pressure on already tender skin.

There was a devilish flash that sprinted across Embry's face—a sheer look of delight and overzealous enthusiasm. I heard nothing and yet Embry disappeared from above me—long white hands grabbing his shoulders and hauling him backwards. Now that Embry was somewhat taken care of, I turned my attention to a shocked Alec.

His face was pale—scared. He gulped, his hold on me weakened without him meaning for it to. I took the advantage, freeing my right arm from his rough grip to thrust the heel of my palm up into his nose. "Get _off_ me!" I screeched. His head snapped back—repeating exactly what Jacob did—blood pouring from his now crushed nose. What perplexed me and at the same time relieved and shocked me—was that Mike's clawing talons were gone. I looked down to find that he was pinned on his back.

That was when I saw _him_.

EPOV

Where is she going? I watched Bella as she ran toward an oncoming car in the parking lot. Tensing, I prepared to physically drag her back inside and yell at her for being so daft. Wasn't she ever told about strangers? I thought.

I suppose she was never taught common sense either, or self preservation, going with her behaviour lately—it was almost like she wanted to die. I watched from the door that opened onto the staffroom. I recognised the face inside the window—Angela Webber.

One of Bella's friends, the one who has been upset about a break up.

A seemingly sweet girl. She looked somewhat upset.

I frowned and glanced around me, wondering if I should go over there and just ask why they were loitering on school property so I could get a better insight into their situation. I bit my lip, warring with myself.

I sighed and waited until Bella was finished. But instead of walking back to her seat outside the cafeteria, she ran to the passenger side of the car. I frowned harder, my eyes widening. "Bella! Hey!" I called, making an attempt to run after her.

She already had the door closed and Angela flawed the engine out of the lot. I groaned, my feet stopping after I reached the black top of the car park. I chewed on my lip considering my next move. She probably wouldn't like it too much if I followed her. But then what other choice did I have? I swore in exasperation.

I sprinted back up to my office, my heart beating faster than usual.

If anything happened to her... I shook my head furiously—of course not.

She was in a moving car, with her friend. A trusted friend, one I knew to be quite loyal and decent. Bella wouldn't have left with her without it being important. But thats what bothered me. If it was so important, she knew all too well that Bella was under police protection—she ought to know better, so did Bella.

My thoughts growled. I grabbed my folder, stuffing it full of unmarked papers from earlier today. It wasn't enough that people were intent on her hasty extermination—she had to go gallivanting around town like there was nothing wrong. She was in for another lecture when I got to her.

As I stormed outside into the dull light of the afternoon, another car appeared in the parking lot.

It was a patrol car—the one that was sent to pick up Bella before and after school. I gnashed my teeth together and proceeded to my car. If they had gotten here faster, like they were supposed to—instead of leaving Bella out in the open, alone—she wouldn't be of somewhere where I didn't know where to find her.

I unlocked the passenger door, shoving my things onto the leather seat before closing it and heading towards the office.

I walked briskly and with purpose. Now, where would they be? I pondered that for a moment before concluding that she must be at Angela's house. I readied a story before entering the heated room. Ms. Cope looked up and smiled, she had her purse slung over her shoulder.

I had obviously just caught her before she left this afternoon. Lucky for me.

"Can I help you, Edward?" she asked warmly. I smiled back tightly—I was in a slight hurry.

It was just that when it involved Bella, I didn't want or need to waste time. With her luck, who knows, she could be tied up in a basement somewhere by now.

I cringed at that thought before quickly composing myself in time to speak normally. "How are you Ms. Cope?" I asked, calling her by her surname, although she didn't call me by mine. Nobody did, I assumed it was because I was so young compared to them.

I also had the inkling that Ms. Cope liked to call me by my first name, as if it made us closer on a personal level. It only made me uncomfortable and her sluggish pace only made me more frustrated and impatient. "Look, I need a favour," I began evasively. She raised her eyebrows.

"Sure, what do you need, dear?" She asked, leaning over the desk. I concentrated for a moment and tried in my best persuasive tone to get her to give me a student's address. "I believe Miss. Swan was not escorted home by the patrol car like planned...?" I said it like a question.

She seemed surprised then flustered. "Oh, dear. The chief won't be happy about this, uhh..." She trailed off, scratching her head.

"I saw her leave with another student, Angela Webber, but I'd just like to inform the police where she will be. Angela's house, most likely." I said in an unsure tone, however I was almost completely sure of what I was doing. I wasn't going to call the police, not yet anyway. It was probably unnecessary.

I just wanted to go there and follow her home—nothing weird at all, typical.

My brow furrowed as she huffed. "Oh, uh. I'm not sure if thats our policy, but...I suppose under the circumstances..." she said, pursing her lips.

I nodded in agreement, tapping the toe of my shoe against the floor as I waited for her to siphon through the files in the metal cabinet by her desk.

"Webber, Webber..." she mumbled, flicking through the manilla folders. "Uhh...here!" she declared, pulling it out and handing it to me. She smiled. I smiled slightly before opening it and moving my fingers over the print to find her personal details.

Once I had them, I sighed in relief and handed the folder back to Ms. Cope who looked less than impressed that I hadn't thanked her and so much as just stormed out the door. I had the address written on my palm. The sun was almost all the way under the horizon and a small feeling of unease settled into a corner of my stomach—I couldn't let it get control, though. I was probably just feeling paranoid.

It was regular nowadays.

Especially with everything going on.

I jogged to the lot where the police officers were about to make their way up to the administration office.

"Miss. Swan has taken a ride from a friend," I informed them in a sharp tone. They frowned and shared a glance that said, 'oh shit, Charlie is so going to fuck us up.' I darted to my door, unlocking it before getting in and closing it behind me. The officers, both tan and foreign looking, stared around them for a moment before retreating back to their car. They pulled out of the lot just before I did. I turned in the other direction, the way that took me to Angela's house.

I followed the highway, south before taking an exit.

Angela lived close to La Push—this did nothing to help my nerves.

I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel as I made my way closer to her—yet for some reason, I felt so far away. I turned into Angela's street, almost missing the road completely I was going so fast. Hardly the legal speed, but who cared?

I slowed down slightly so I could read the passing street numbers.

I stopped the car outside of the right house and glared at the empty driveway.

I growled incomprehensibly before shoving my hands against the dash, smacking it in frustration.

I sighed and turned the car around, heading back down the linking street that lead to the highway. This time I was going to Bella's house. Perhaps she had just given her a lift. But why would Bella leave so abruptly when she knew I was at school, and could have easily given her a lift.

Then again, if anyone found them together, questions wouldn't be raised like they would be if it was me giving her a ride. I glanced out of all my windows periodically, half-hoping she would appear walking on the side of the road so I could stop and pick her up.

It was incredibly frustrating! Why did she always have to disappear on me like this?

Why did she have to make keeping her safe such an impossible task? I swear to god, if I didn't love her so much, she would be such a pain in the ass to care for. But for some reason, I enjoyed looking out for her—I just didn't deserve to. But Bella deserved to be cared for.

And as far as no-one knew, I was more than willing to do just that. I screeched to a halt outside Bella's house, the gravel flinging into the air under my tires. Her truck was there, but Angela's car was not. I just about smashed my car window before I realised dumbly that she could be inside and I could have passed Angela's car on the freeway and not noticed in my worried state of mind. I got out of the car and sprinted across the front yard until my feet met her porch.

I knocked rapidly, slamming my fists against the wood and waited with my hands on my hips. I knocked again.

"Bella? Are you home?" I just about shouted through the closed door. "Fuck," I muttered. Where the fuck could she be?

It was getting dark and if she was still out...? I shuddered before flying down the porch steps and down the side of the house to where her window sat. I started climbing the tree but when I noticed there was no Bella inside, I jumped down.

I started to my car again and with a stream of curses mumbled under my breath, I flung myself into the driver's seat.

I took only a small amount of comfort in the fact that her window was actually locked for once—but what good could that do when she wasn't inside?

And what good would it do when she came up against someone outside?

I threw the car into gear, pulling away from the kerb to continue my frantic search for her. A weird feeling twisted in my stomach—it wasn't brought on by anything in particular. It was a desperate kind of feeling, something I hadn't felt since Bella was stuck in that fire—the thick clouds of smoke keeping me from finding her. My lack of information was like that cloud of smoke, it was keeping me from finding Bella—an annoying obstacle.

I rubbed my forehead with my fingers, the darkening sky was not helping my outlook. My thoughts ran to all the possibilities.

No, I couldn't think of them. Bella was safe—I had to believe that. She was safe with Angela...I hoped. But then I couldn't count on either of them being able to defend themselves. Angela didn't seem to be in the right frame of mind even if she had the physicality, which I doubted, being a skinny girl—she didn't have the weight advantage. Neither did Bella, and she also lacked height. Someone could overpower her if she didn't run fast enough.

_Run, Bella. _I told her through my thoughts.

_Wherever you are, run._ I was back on the highway, deciding to go back to Angela's to check if she was there with her and they had made a pit stop on the way or something. They could have stopped at the thrift-way—I didn't know. When I pulled up on that familiar kerb, my heart skipped a beat as I saw the driveway occupied Angela's car.

I sighed and almost laughed, giddy with relief. Thank goodness. I was worried about nothing. I swallowed the lump in my throat and slumped down in my chair, prepared to wait for Bella to come out. The car door opened and only Angela appeared. My fear went into overdrive as I realised that Bella was not with her. It was also pitch black now.

My thoughts ran in dark streams. They didn't...did they? La Push. That was where I needed to go.

If they had her...and if they were hurting her... I grit my teeth—fairly sure that blood would be shed tonight, hopefully theirs. I tore up the loose gravel under my car and sped off toward La Push. I was fretting the entire time—a hot white, rage boiling inside me. But I kept it bottled up beneath the surface.

I would unleash the full force on them when it came to it. I prayed that it didn't and that Bella was at home and safe.

I hoped that I hadn't seen her there because she was in the shower or something. How I dearly wanted to believe that.

But the voice in my head—the voice that was Bella's, reminded me that nothing was ever that simple.

Without another thought or any volition from my brain, my limbs moved sort of robotically—driving my car as fast as it could go, ripping it down the freeway until I was on the outskirts of the reservation. My heart was beating too fast—her voice was loud and clear in my head, but for some reason it didn't reassure me. I considered going past their houses, but I realised that I didn't know where they lived. So I went to where I knew there had been cult activity before.

I went to the sea cliffs—it was mostly secluded, no-one would interrupt them, you could barely hear them through the thick throngs of trees that separated them from the houses nearby. It was eerily quiet as I made my way up the windy roads—the night was getting colder, my windows were fogging.

I saw an orange hazy glow. I squinted through the windshield. Was that fire? I pushed my Volvo, swerving dangerously around the trees, narrowly missing the edge of the road as I travelled closer. I saw dark figures, moving around on the ground. I frowned and slowed the car.

I was hidden behind another bend of trees. But I could see, from where I was, that there were people there.

I could hear faint cries—someone growling. I got out of the car, not bothering to close the door. I ran—as fast as I could.

Faster than ever before. My legs carried me with unbelievable speed, the figures growing more pronounced with each stride.

As I neared them—I could hear her cries. And I thought I had been running before? I was flying, flying towards them. Closer. A few more feet. I was stealthy, but then noise didn't matter—not after I saw what they were doing. They would all die anyway. Three of them—_three dirty mother fuckers!_

They had her pinned against the ground like a sacrificial animal. They had my Bella by the throat and—my eyes widened, something dark and feral clawing it's way through my body. She was half-naked, kicking at Mike Newton with her bare legs as he tried to grip them—his pants unzipped.

Her sobs and screams stabbed gaping holes through my body—but only gave me a burning motivation to slowly slaughter every one of them—not sparing them a moment of pain, not sparing them their dignity. But slowly killing them, making it agonisingly sluggish so they could suffer. Suffer beyond anything anyone has ever suffered. I grabbed the first one—the one that held the knife in his hand. My hands gripped his shoulders—I grunted as I wrenched him backwards with surprising force.

My fists curling and the ravenous demon inside of me was making it's way to the surface.

I was no longer Edward, and these were no longer children. I was a pissed off motherfucker, and these slimy fuckers were hurting my girl. Laws and morals were hereby void in my vocabulary. Once he was on his back, a look of sheer shock on his face—my foot connected with his head.

I had successfully knocked him out—now for the others before I fully incapacitated them.

A boy was standing off to the side—watching the struggle. I didn't recognise him, nor did it matter.

Whether I knew them or not was irrelevant—if they were involved, their fates were already sealed.

I also distantly noted that Jacob Black was lying unconscious by Mike. He was next. Bella lashed out at the boy—Alec, again irrelevant—who had her still pinned. I saw his head snap back before I lunged—collecting Mike in my path. I threw his head to the ground, enjoying it, lavishing the sight of his vulnerability, his powerlessness against the pain I was about to serve him. Of course, he tried to fight. Now we couldn't have that, could we?

I felt his fist connect with my face and then I heard a gasp from Bella.

"Stop it!" she screamed as he hit me again. I leaned back and whipped my hand forward, my balled up fist collecting the side of his face with bone crunching force. He swore. "You dirty fucker! I'll teach you to touch her again! You won't live to, infact!" I growled, my voice a roar in contrast to the silent woodland surrounding us and the crackling of the fire.

"Get off me!" he demanded in a weak and spluttering voice, coughing on blood.

"You didn't get off _her!_" I hissed, one hand enclosed around his weak throat. In one motion, my free hand came back, thrusting toward his face, his head whipped to the side along with my hand, his face scrunching up before the blood dribbled from his mouth. He didn't fight back after that—his body went limp under me. I hand came on my shoulder.

I swung my head around, a fierce growl escaping my mouth before I realised it was Bella.

She had her jeans back on—her face was smeared with dirt and blood. Her cheeks were grimy with tears and ash. "Enough," she whispered, her hand tightening around my jacket. My hand released Mike's throat. I stood up and embraced her fiercely. Pulling her closer to the fire and away from the men that were hurting her.

"What did they do to you?" I demanded, my voice hard and gravelly. Her eyes were wide and frightened, pain and fear buried deep within them—inside of her, to be kept there forever after this.

My hands were grasping her frantically. I was afraid she wasn't real. My hands were shaking, but she was shaking worse—her entire frame quaking.

"Bella, you're hurt," I said in a broken tone, my voice cracking as I looked at her. I gnashed my teeth together, the feral rage erupting again. I dropped to my knees in front of her, hugging her waist and pressing my face into her stomach. "I'm so sorry! I should have been with you. But what, Bella? What the _fuck_ were you thinking?"

I looked up at her. Her lip was trembling, fresh tears falling down her face. I stood up quickly, taking her in the circle of my arms.

I reached my hand to her face, my jaw clenching as I saw the dried blood on her forehead. She seemed to have sensed my new blood-thirst, so she held me tighter. "Don't let go," she begged, trembling. "Don't let go of me." I heard sirens off in the distance, my head snapping up toward the sound.

"I won't," I said. "I promise."

**So I know I got a fair few people being kind of pissed at the last chapter. Did that make amends? She wasn't really raped, but got close to it. However, rape is a part of life. It happens to innocent people all the time--there is no use in ignoring it. However, I understand if it makes anyone uncomfortable. **

**Anyway, onward.**

**Onward to lighter subjects.**

**How is everyone? I was so angry when I was writing this chapter--I sort of slipped into Edward's frame of mind and tried to describe how angry I would feel if someone I loved was being hurt like Bella was. So yeah.**

**Now, an even lighter subject:**

**Smut.**

**Yes. I miss it too. All this serious stuff is giving me a headache.**

**But fear not my faithful followers (that sounded like a jesus preacher comment)**

**There will be happy endings (and I mean that in every sense of the phrase) later on. First, Edward and Bella have to fight the shit storm that is their relationship being outed to Forks. **

**There will be smut DURING all of that. So there you have it.**

**Edward got pissed and saved the day. Mike, Embry, Alec and Jacob got knocked out and I won't divulge what else will happen. And to anyone who wants to know--Quil will run away...to somewhere. I wont say how his story will be resolved. (it will be justice though) *rubs hands together* :)**

**Everyone happy? Good good. Love you guys!! Keep up with the reviews! I need to know what you're thinking!!**

**-birobird**


	30. Reciprocate

**This chapter is filled with a really lemony lemon. In fact its so lemony, you're going to have citric acid burns in your eyes!**

"And then what happened?" he asked methodically.

I sighed, my hands still trembling. I looked up into Charlie's eyes. "And then he tried taking my pants off..." a lump rose in my throat at the thought of how close I had come to such terrible torture.

Charlie noticed too, he had stopped writing things down in his notebook. His hand clenched around the pencil, it splintered and snapped. "Bella," he said, dropping his hands to his sides. "I am so sorry, sweetheart, I—" he broke off and my throat went tight as I stared at him struggling for words.

How helpless must he feel? And how angry would he be that things had to come this far before they ended for good?

He must have the same questions on his mind—he looked down at me, seeming to realise just how traumatised I was. "We can do this later, Bella." He said, pocketing his note pad. I nodded. He leant down and hugged his arms around my shoulders.

I reciprocated then started sobbing into his shoulder.

He kept whispering apologies in my ear.

"Dad," I said apprehensively.

"It's not your fault, you shouldn't be apologising." I scolded but in a weak voice as I pulled away. He shrugged and shook his head. "I should have had another unit out to the school when Aro and Gianna got called out for an emergency," I sniffled, wiping at my eyes before frowning in confusion.

"What was the job?" I asked. "We got a call from a young girl...said her boyfriend, Ben was in trouble and to go to some address. They were gone by the time we got there..." I ground my teeth together and tried dislodging another lump in my throat.

Angela.

My best friend had betrayed me and offered me as a fucking sacrifice—a piece of worthless meat. Looks like she used the bogus story to keep the police from picking me up. Before I could tell Dad about that, Edward came to stand beside me—his arm brushed against mine. "Ah, Mr. Cullen. I can't thank you enough." He said gruffly and I could see the trace signs of tears in his eyes. He cleared his throat and held a hand out for Edward to shake.

"Don't thank me, Chief Swan. I don't deserve it," he said, his jaw tight and his eyes dark. I wanted to reach out and take his hand in mine. Charlie waved his hand about dismissively. "Now, I won't have that. My daughter owes you her life. If you hadn't been driving around La Push..." he trailed off the offered his hand again.

"Please, accept my gratitude, son." He said in a softer tone, emotion lacing his usually flat voice. Edward's jaw clenched, he looked down at my father's hand before reluctantly shaking it with his. Charlie sighed and turned to me. "Are you ready to go home, sweetie?" he asked, putting his arm back around my shoulders.

My muscles wore sore, I flinched slightly under the pressure and nodded, glancing back up at Edward.

"She needs to be sacrificed! You will never be safe! The slut has to be slaughtered!" Jacob hooted as he was hauled away by two police officers—he had since regained consciousness from when I booted him in the face. But his nose looked black and blue, blood spattered across his face.

It probably hurt to talk, yet he had no problem with yelling at me.

I shuddered at his words, Edward stared him down until he went silent and the two male officers shoved him in the back seat of the patrol car. Another two cuffed Mike's limp form before dragging him towards the squad car—a wagon which could hold five or more people.

The first squad car—with Jacob in the back, took off after Gianna exchanged a few muted words with Charlie.

I watched Edward the entire time as he watched me.

Our silent conversation was tense. I could read his mood in his eyes. He was very upset, especially with himself.

He was angry at me for being reckless again, but I knew he didn't blame me—not entirely anyway. It's not like I set out to get almost raped and murdered at the hands of an evil cult who thought they were performing a public service. My eyes were wide and pleading with his while Charlie stood, oblivious, talking to one of his deputies. I was practically shouting with my eyes, saying 'This is not your fault! You can't be everywhere at once!'

His chest was rising and falling rapidly, still out of breath from what just happened.

Alec was being taken away by a woman officer—who didn't look like a woman at first, she had to be taller than anyone here and pretty beefy. He had his eyes glued to the ground, I studied him for a moment but realised I was growing nauseated at the sight of him, so I looked away.

I frowned, glancing around the clearing where the fire was dying down to a mess of glowing, orange charcoal and burnt wood. It was then that I saw a dark form—a person, standing at the cliff's edge. For one crazy moment I thought it was Edward—my heart just about jumped from my stomach, but it wasn't, because he stood right in front of me. He frowned down at me then followed my gaze to the figure who had crouched to a spring. Edward and I darted forward at the same time.

It was purely reflex. Someone was going to jump off of the sea cliff.

_Quil_, my mind told me as it fought against the exhaustion and nausea.

The one who merely watched. I was waging an internal war with myself as we neared the rocky edge—save him? Even if he did nothing to save me? How much better would I be if I let him die? Of course he was getting a quick way out. But he would also be gone.

Edward grasped at the back of his shirt just as he leaped.

I gasped and choked out a scream. I reached out too, leaning over the edge like Edward, grasping at his arm—the rest of his body flailed above the dagger-sharp rocks below. Edward had a firm hold on him, his teeth clenched with the effort.

"Just let me go," Quil offered in an eerily soft voice.

He shook his head at Edward. "I know you want to." He smiled.

I could see Edward's jaw flex. I could also hear the commotion from behind us, the officers running to help. My hands were growing weaker as I kept a hold on him—it was up to Edward now. He was breathing hard, his hands gripping Quil's arm as his body swayed like a leaf in the wind over the cliff face.

"I can't hold him for much longer," he in a strained tone, speaking through his teeth. "I can't," his hands shook, Quil grinned before slipping. "No!" I choked out. I couldn't watch after that. I turned my face away, gripping my stomach with one hand and my head with the other.

I stumbled on to my knees, emptying my stomach into the bushes before me.

My head spun and the images swirled in my head—my vision going in and out of focus.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Edward asked from behind me, pulling me to my feet with his arm around my waist. I shook my head and felt nauseated again from the motion. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round. Except nothing about this was fucking merry. I feel..." I sagged forward, my knees buckling underneath me. He caught me of course, before I got a pleasant mouthful of dirt. He swung me up into his arms without another word.

The sick feeling subsided and now my head just throbbed from where I had hit it before—it felt like ages ago now.

"She needs to go to the hospital," Edward informed someone—probably Charlie. I frowned with my eyes closed.

"She may have a concussion." He elaborated. There was more noise around me now. It was just so hard to process everything—he _jumped._ And when we tried to pull him back up, my head injury had to kick in and cause me to lose my strength—Edward couldn't hold onto him any longer. He fell after that—with a smile on his face, all the way.

I shuddered and tried to re-open my eyes. But I was so tired! It was so hard to keep them open. And I couldn't fight the exhaustion anymore.

Too much in such a short space of time—my brain cells were bound to be fried at this point. More sirens sounded and I heard people converse in desperate tones regarding the boy who _fell._ I stayed slightly comatose during this as I was carried around. I snuggled into Edward's chest, inhaling his familiar and comforting scent—letting it overwhelm my senses until thats all I could think about.

It calmed me and I was able to drift to sleep.

~~~___~~~

"Seriously, Dad. I'm fine." I assured Charlie as he fluttered around me. I rolled my eyes and pulled my graduation gown from the closet.

"I'm old enough to take care of myself, don't you think I would tell you if I was feeling unwell?" He narrowed his eyes, unsure of this.

He had been hassling me for about three weeks now. How long could concussions possibly last? I was absolutely fine—he was overreacting so much it was grating on my nerves. Of course I knew he only meant well, and I was grateful for his fatherly-ness.

But enough was enough. I was sent home three days after the incident in La Push.

I had received counselling which I still attend on a regular basis, as does Edward—who had very inadvertently agreed to go as long as I did. It was a secret agreement we had. It still haunted me—I often had dreams that I was back on that cliff, and that Mike and all the others were there.

Only this time, Edward did not come for me. I awoke in a mess of tears and sweat.

But Edward had always been there consciously, whether it was at his house or when he snuck into mine.

He was always there in some way. He had been very closed off the week after what had happened. Of course, he talked to me and everything but something about his personality changed—he became more...dark and cynical. I hated it and it scared me to death that he wasn't the same as before.

But nothing could possibly make me love him less. It was just awfully frightening to watch him in a different mode.

He was icy and cold to everyone, including me at times—but he would always apologise and make it up to me.

Somehow, after that night, our love life had become more desperate—our lives were ephemeral and we knew that they didn't last forever. A wake-up call that had revived Edward out of his vegetative state and brought him back to normal.

But sometimes, I could still see that he had a dark glint behind his eyes.

I shuddered when I thought about it. I hated to know that Edward was in pain—a silent pain, one which he refused to share with me because he hated to burden me like that. Those were his exact words, too. He 'hated to burden me with his problems'.

That was when he had finally agreed to attend the counselling sessions that the police service were offering after that night. They offered it to Charlie as well, but he declined. I had spent numerous deathly hours at the station, recounting the events of what happened. Edward had to as well—glazing over the details, really in order to keep our secret, secret. Of course we knew that Jacob, Mike, Embry, Alec and Angela—who we outed as a accessory—would tell the cops that Edward and I were together.

We just hoped that their overall insanity would keep the police or the jury for that matter from believing them.

Charlie had told me that they claimed I was in a relationship with my English teacher and that I was preying on the men from the Quileute tribe—he had only gotten angry, dismissing their mad babble.

And after a search done on Jacob Black's house—the culprit who started this whole ploy to kill me—amphetamines were found in his mattress. Or in street terms, ice. His whole group were doing ice, causing them to hallucinate—throwing their statements down the drain.

Their stories were invalid—they had nothing against me or Edward.

All this craziness, all the madness from the past couple of months—it was all because they got addicted to drugs.

I found out later—when Ben Cheney arrived at school, that he had spent an extended vacation in L.A. He had no idea about any cult, or that Angela was involved. It was heart-breaking when someone had to tell him. I refused to do it—I was already trying to deal with the shock myself, and someone else's pain on top of mine and Edward's would be too much. It was Charlie who broke the news to him. The look on his face was so awful.

He was broken into tiny pieces, falling to his knees—the girl he knew and loved was a part of something so wrong. He had fallen apart right there where he stood—outside of school in the parking lot. It was my first day back of school and coincidentally, his too.

My heart sunk for the boy—an innocent party, but affected so greatly by other's actions.

It wasn't fair. I had run straight to Edward's office after that, not able to keep staring at his pain anymore. He held me tight, kissed me and hugged me until I stopped crying. My birthday had been and gone since then, too. I hadn't been expecting anything extravagant, nor did I want it.

Life had been so hectic that I had no desire to live it to the max—party hard or anything. In the end, because Charlie was working—on my birthday! For which he profusely apologised—

Edward took me for the day.

"_Edward, I don't like surprises!" I scolded as he held his hands in front of my eyes. _

_He chuckled, his breath brushing against my neck. I shivered. His body was pressed against my back as he guided me forward. The ground beneath my feet felt soft—like grass. I frowned but allowed him to lead me forward. "Edward—" I started to complain but he cut me off. _

_"Shh," he hushed, pulling my hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. _

_I sighed as his hands slid down my arms to my hips. "Keep your eyes closed." He whispered into my ear. I nodded. _

_The smell of grass, and dirt and...wild flowers filled my nose. I smiled—it was beautiful. What I wasn't prepared for, was the sight of it. _

_"Okay," he said softly, his lips brushing against my neck. "Open your eyes." I did. I gasped, my hand cupping over my mouth. _

_We stood in the middle of a meadow—long wavy grass carpeted the ground in a thick layer, but clear of trees and shrubs. _

_It was almost a perfect circle of luscious green grass, dotted with the odd, purple wild flower. I bit my lip then sighed. _

_Edward's arms wrapped around my waist. "This place is ours now." He whispered, kissing my cheek. I grinned. It was ours. A quiet piece of tranquil perfection—a isolated peaceful escape for us both. Edward took my hand and sat down with me. _

_I lay down on my back and stared up at the sky—a beautifully sunny day for Forks. It was warm, a soft, fragrant breeze blowing. Edward lay on his side with his head propped up on his hand. He picked one of the purple flowers and brought it to my face. _

_He stroked it across my cheek and down my neck. It gently grazed my collar bones and down to the opening of my blouse. I watched his face in marvel. The sun shone through his bronze hair—illuminating it. His biceps flexed as he reached over to unbutton my top so he could trail the flower down my stomach. _

_"Happy Birthday." He murmured, pressing his lips to my stomach before moving them up my chest. He kissed my lips gently, barely touching them. His body hovered over mine, the wind fluttered around us, rippling across the grass. I brushed a strand of wayward hair from his face. I let my fingers linger on his cheek, down to the hard line of his jaw. I traced the outline of his lips with my fingers as he smoothed my hair. I pulled his face back to mine, his tongue invading my mouth. _

_I moaned against him, wrapping both arms around his neck to get him closer. _

_His body pressed against mine making me moan louder. It had felt like forever since we'd slept together. _

_"Edward," I whispered. "Bella," he whispered back, smiling. I tugged his shirt up his body, my fingers exploring over his glorious skin. I pulled it over his head and went back to marvelling at his beauty above me. "I love you." He murmured, trailing his lips down my neck. He kissed and licked my collar bones. _

_"I love you, too." I said breathlessly. He chuckled before pulling me up into a sitting position. He pulled my blouse down my arms and unhooked my bra. My teeth grazed against his shoulder as he took a nipple in his mouth, sucking gently. "Mmm," I moaned. My hands moved down his back to his jeans. _

_I unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. It was slow and I needed it to be quicker. I needed him inside me. _

_I needed him as close as possible. He fisted his hand in my hair before bringing his lips back to mine. _

_His tongue glided along my bottom lip. I gasped as he pulled my legs around his waist. _

_I had worn a skirt today—not something I often did. It was only because it was my birthday—I wanted to look pretty. _

_It came off easily, falling off my feet before I linked my legs around his waist again. His fingers hooked into crotch of my panties, yanking them out of the way before he slipped his fingers inside me. I gasped and my head fell forward onto his shoulder. He thrust them deep inside my moist centre, curling his fingers—I moaned, gripping his arms tighter. _

_I felt his thumb rub small circles over my aching clit. He moved in and out of me methodically, the only sounds that echoed around us were our laboured breathing and my moaning. _

_I felt him getting hard against me, he was straining against his boxers. I pulled his boxers out of the way before grasping his throbbing erection with my hand. He groaned, biting his lip as his head fell back. He kept working me and it was hard to concentrate. "Oh, Edward..." I groaned, rocking my hips against his hand. He pushed harder on my clit, moving his thumb around while his fingers slid in and out. I pushed my hips harder against him as I gently rubbed his hard length. He began teasing me as he nipped the skin above my breast. _

_I gasped and whimpered. I rocked against him, asking for him to go faster, harder, deeper. "Please," I breathed into his ear. He grunted when I rubbed him harder, he then reciprocated. Thrusting his fingers all the way while rubbing hard against my slick clit. I bit my lip, gasping, my eyes rolling back in my head as I came close to my blissful release. _

_Then he surprised me by lifting me onto his still-throbbing cock. He groaned. "Oh, yes..." he whispered. I laid my hands flat against his chest as I moved up and down his length. _

_"Oh, fuck," I hissed. "Jesus," He growled, moving his hands up to cup my breasts, massaging my nipples with his thumbs. His head lay back against the grass, the wind still blowing peacefully through our beautiful meadow. He slid his hands down to my hips, pulling them back and forth with more force—I groaned deeply as I rode him harder. _

_I put my hands over his as he guided me against him. More, all I wanted was more. "Faster," he said through clenched teeth. _

_I went faster, removing my hands from his and placing them back on his chest as I picked up the speed. _

_"Ahh," he growled, before moving his hand to my clit and stroking it hard until I couldn't take it anymore. "Oh, god!" I gasped. "Edward," I gasped again. _

_"Oh, Edward!" I shouted to no-one in particular. I could almost hear the little forest animals ducking for cover._

_I came apart, shuddering to near convulsions. _

_"Fuck, oh my god." I whispered, coming down from the most powerful orgasm—his fingers were clenched around my hips and I could feel him empty his warmth inside of me. I slumped forward, leaning my head against his chest and panting out his name. He was breathing hard too, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath he took. _

_He cupped my cheek with his hand and brought my lips back to his. _

I felt myself getting a little too excited as I thought about that—fucking fantastic birthday—day.

I cleared my throat and tried to inconspicuously fan my face.

Charlie thought I was blushing because he kept calling me beautiful. Again and again.

But this time that wasn't what I was blushing about. He sighed and stepped back to take a look at me. He cocked his head to the side and clucked his tongue. I was about to ask what was wrong when he turned away and tried not to let me see he was wiping his eyes.

"Aw, Dad," I groaned. "Please don't." I begged. "Don't what?" he said defensively.

I tried swallowing the lump in my throat. I couldn't help it. Whenever someone like my Dad or Mom cried, I always cried with them.

"Cry!" I said, already tearing up. "Who says I was?" He grumbled, sniffling. I laughed through the tears that spilled.

"You suck at lying," I scolded, while still smiling. He pulled me to him and hugged me close before stepping back.

"Come on, we'll be late if we don't leave now." He said, grabbing my hand. I followed him down the stairs after grabbing my graduation cap, the yellow gown hanging off my shoulders. We hurried out the door and into the cruiser—my chariot in waiting. Charlie still had his uniform on, a trademark of his.

He liked everyone to know that he was my Dad. I would have objected any other time, but now, I liked that he was enjoying himself somewhat. As much as a parent enjoys watching their child graduate. I was going to be bawling my eyes out by the end of the day.

I sighed as I leaned my head against the window, watching the dull sky darken slightly—it was getting close to dusk. My nerves were stretched tight, but I was also feeling an overwhelming sense of freedom. I was finally free from the oppressive, torture chamber they called high school.

I wouldn't say all school was bad, kindergarten was awesome. I have to say my macaroni pictures were pretty bad ass.

But what was foremost on my mind, was the fact that after now--all the heart break and fear behind us--Edward and I could be together, hopefully without public reprimand. I smiled to myself as we pulled into the familiar lot. My smile fell as I realised some people who would _not_ be graduating with us.

The thought made me glum for a while but I perked right up when I walked into that radiantly lit gym and my eyes landed on _him._

**OMG. Was that a good lemon or was that a good lemon?**

**I thought it was. I mean, I was writing it and the my freaking computer was getting off on it. I was like, "no, bad deborah! (my computer's name is deborah) My Edward! You CANNOT!"**

**So yeah, I liked it. Tell me what you think! I am sorry I havent posted in a bit. Some of you were probably waiting for an update yesterday right? Wait, did I update yesterday and miss the day before? Or did I update the day before and miss yesterday?**

**God, I don't know anymore! I'm so confused!**

**Whenever I try to think about whether I updated my fanfic, I always think about the next chapter, then I think about Edward...and his...skillzz. And then I cant remember how to tie my shoe laces *tear***

**:'(**

**Anywhoo, how is my lovely audience, anyway? I hope you're all good!**

**My kudos goes out to you all on this lovely of days (I REALLY sound like im on crack. Or maybe its coz of the lemon, i dono)**

**Err...so if you review, send me your favourite quote from the whole story, or even just your favourite part if you can't remember the exact words. I'm very curious as to know what my best work has been.**

**Reviews are better than ohh oh oh! CRAMPS! I HATE CRAMPS WITH A PASSION. WE SHOULD START A PROTEST!**

**LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**xox**

**-birobird**


	31. Congratulations are in order

**Im sorry I haven't posted sooner--bad things happen (i.e. my poor pussy cat, Bruce was run over by some fucker who didn't even bother to brake or stop) Sorry about the delay. But I've been on a manhunt ;)**

**Okay, so I got alot of reviews from the last chapter saying stuff like "oh I love your story! You can't stop writing! Look forward to more stories" Dudettes. Here is the new chapter! And I haven't finshed this one quite yet. I believed THIS is the SECOND last chapter! **

**So you can all breathe a bit easier. Well, that is until the end of the next chapter. **

**But fear not! I have an idea for another fanfic! If you review I shall give you a little preview. (the main idea of the story is that Bella works at a strip club/exotic dance club whatever you want to call it. She's a live wire. She's mean and she can be a bitch--but there are valid reasons behind this. They're hiring new body guards for the girls there. Guess who happens to be hired? None other than the fabulous Edward Cullen, protective, passive, kind and loyal--THEY DON'T GET ALONG AT ALL) Oh and to FEARGIRL, your much awaited CHARLIE-BI-SEXUAL-TOWARD-EDWARD-ONESHOT is in the works my love. So hold tight. I'll try to get it posted soon. :)**

**This chappie has a wonderful little lemon for you guys to feast on too, so bon appetit!**

* * *

**Ive been watching your world from afar.**

**Ive been trying to be where you are.**

**And I've been secretly falling apart.**

**I'll see.**

**To me, you're strange and you're beautiful.**

**You'd be so perfect with me but you just...can't see.**

**You turn every head but you don't...see me.**

**I'll put a spell on you, you fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.**

**And when I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see, and you'll realise that you LOVE me...**

_Strange and Beautiful (I'll put a spell on you)- Aqualung_

* * *

I beamed a wide smile.

Completely genuine and completely euphoric.

I placed my cap on my head and went to take my seat with the people who shared the same letter for their surname—leaving Charlie to find a seat for himself. I didn't take my eyes off of him as I neared my row. He was utterly gorgeous—unshaven with stubble, wearing black slacks, a white dress shirt and a tie.

How did he pull off every single look there was? I doubted he would look bad in a toga—I shook my head furiously.

I didn't need to be red-faced and drooling over a fantasy of Edward in a toga while I accepted my diploma.

That was far from helpful. He watched me too, a proud and excited smile adorning his perfect face.

I sighed and blushed, biting my lip while ducking my head. I looked back up at him where he stood off to the side of the gym, not sitting down with the rest of us. He was leaning against the wall where the locker rooms opened out to. He had his hands in his pockets with his sleeves rolled up.

I could stare at him like that forever. His hair was a tangled, sexy mess.

I remembered running my fingers through it... I had to stop myself there as Jessica Stanley came to sit next to me. She grinned triumphantly, practically bouncing in her seat with anticipation.

"It's finally over," she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. "I know," I giggled, suddenly feeling incredibly giddy.

She sighed then, staring at me. I smiled—I had always had a good friend, maybe one that wasn't very forthcoming or original, but a friend all the same. She had talked with me and stuck by me now that Angela was gone. She was the one who let me cry on her shoulder my second day back at school when I couldn't find Edward.

"Are you as excited as I am?" She squeaked. It was my turn to sigh. "Well, yeah I am, definitely. There's just...well, I do feel guilty about everything thats happened..." I trailed off, shrugging and looking away. I felt the lump of pain rise in my stomach, but Jess quickly quashed it with her hand over mine. She squeezed my fingers. "Hey, none of it's your fault, remember?" she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I nodded, but I wasn't totally sure I believed her.

"Besides, what they did was their choice. Not yours. How could you have stopped it anyway? And after what they did, you can't be wasting your happiness on feeling bad for them. This is your day! This is _our_ day!" she squealed and clapped her hands.

I had to laugh at her enthusiasm. I had assumed graduation would be just as monotonous as high school itself.

But I couldn't help but ridicule myself for being so blind-sighted and stubborn. This was so important and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

I had failed to see the reason behind everyone wanting to come—I was too wrapped up in how awful I thought it would be, a ceremony that had been practiced year after year. But then I didn't stop to think how it changed each time—different people, different students, saying goodbye to their childhood forever—everything was different, every single time. I grinned at Jess, grasping her hand with mine again before facing the speaker behind the microphone.

I chanced a peek at Edward from the corner of my eye. He had straightened up from his slouch, his hands clasped in front of him with a small smile playing on his lips. I looked back to the principal. I didn't listen to his speech—clearly the most cliché part of the whole thing—and focussed on everything that I liked.

That I actually did have a friend through all of this mess. Jess. We held hands until it became time to stand in line to receive our certificates.

We filed along in front of the teachers who handed them out, a chaste hand shake and small congratulatory hug from Ms. Cope—the administration secretary.

I smiled and could feel my eyes stinging with unshed tears. Where was all this fucking emotion coming from? I had expected a meek time, keeping my emotions in check—but I was full on crying, in front of everyone. So to top off the tears, I had flushed cheeks.

I fanned my face with my certificate, earning a small chuckle from somewhere in the audience.

I recognised the voice. I glared at Edward for a moment then swept my gaze over everyone before stopping on Charlie—his cheeks glistening.

I clucked my tongue and shook my head at him. He grinned before standing up and clapping. I was embarrassed.

I tried to cover my face with my hands but then everyone followed suit, giving the graduating class a standing ovation. I smiled along with Jess—throwing my cap in the air. They rained down around us in a shower of yellow material and tassels. Jess tackled me, hugging me fiercely for a moment before taking off in the direction of Lauren Mallory. I smiled weakly and watched her leave. I sighed, glancing around at the commotion around me—reddened faces, damp eyelashes.

Cheerful and fearful. And I think I spoke for everyone here that we were shit scared about taking our lives to the next level. But it's been done before, right?

"Bella!" Charlie crowed, his arm hooked around a woman's. I lifted an eyebrow. "Congratulations baby girl!" he said in his best attempt to make it seem he hadn't been crying the whole hour. I rolled my eyes and smiled, grabbing him into a hug before he pulled away but kept a hand on my shoulder.

"I'd like you to meet Sue." Both my eyebrows rose and I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling wildly at this new development. "It's nice to meet you, Sue...Clearwater?" I pryed, knowing her already. Well, mostly anyway. She owned the little boutique in La Push near the Newtons--cue shudder--camping store. She nodded vehemently before gathering me up in a tight hug as well. She caught me by surprise with that.

But as first impressions go, she made the cut for my Dad.

"Uh, so, do you have a son or daughter graduating?" I asked curiously, waiting for her response. She bit her lip and I noticed surreptitiously that Charlie reached out and grasped her hand. Her big brown eyes bore into mine with the upmost respect, but I could tell she was really intimidated by me. I perked an eyebrow. "Well, no...Charlie—I mean, the chief here, invited me to come watch you.

My daughter, Leah, graduated last year...and my son Seth is still a freshman." She grinned sheepishly.

I couldn't help but chuckle. She looked like a scolded child. She hid her face with her dark, crow black locks.

"Well, it's been great meeting you. I better go find Jess before she has a coronary..." I shook my head and sighed. I smiled up at Dad, gave him and Sue a peck on the cheek.

"Thank you so much for coming. Make sure my Dad doesn't get too bored without me." I winked and she stood there dumbfounded before she collected herself and turned to my Dad with a triumphant grin. I rolled my eyes as I strolled off. Hey, if he was happy, I was happy.

I just didn't care to be stuck in the middle of an awkward ritual—the meeting where your father introduces you to his new girlfriend, which is fine, really.

But if they started talking about _why_ they got together, or about how their _needs_ have to be met and my Dad was willing—I'm pretty sure my lunch is going to repeat on me and go all over the floor.

And I'm talking projectile vomiting.

Any thought of my Dad having sexual—I shook myself out and shuddered. Gross. Luckily, a distraction came in the form of Tyler Crowley. He had grown a mile this year—almost an entire two feet. I stared up at him in shock, huh, you'd think I would have noticed.

He grinned down at me like an imbecile. But it was the occasion to act like a lunatic, right? I smiled back at him and reached my hand out for a hand shake—completely blasé and nonchalant. Yet I should have been able to tell on account of Tyler's boisterous nature that he would have gone in for the bear hug.

It was always the big guys. He caught me up in his arms and squeezed the life out of me. I groaned and huffed.

"Yeah, congratulations to you too, Tyler." I managed to choke out. He chuckled. "I'm really happy for you, Bella." He smiled before skipping off. I shook my head. I was standing off to the side of the crowd now, scanning the faces in front of me. Not once did I catch sight of Edward—had he moved?

Where did he go? I didn't even see him move! I sighed and folded my arms across my chest, blowing a stray piece of hair from my eye. I frowned as I looked at them all—mesmerized by the atmosphere of elation. A hand came down on my shoulder.

I looked to my right and there was Alice, well, Miss. Cullen...well, actually, Mrs. Whitlock now, apparently.

"Congratulations, dear." She said in her wind chime voice. I smiled and leaned down slightly to hug her. A hadn't noticed the tall blonde man that was standing behind her. So I fought the urge to yelp when I noticed him there. "Bella, this is my husband, Jasper." I smiled and nodded, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you," I said sheepishly.

He smiled warmly and I was automatically calmed by his presence, even a part from his intimidating appearance, the moment we made physical contact, it all just faded away. I breathed out a sigh and looked around lazily, forgetting my anxiety for the moment.

I was secretly growing irritated however, at Edward's absence.

Where the fuck was he? I huffed and stalked off to the side of the crowd, avoiding any more congratulatory hugs or kisses. I leaned against the blue painted maintenance door as Alice and Jasper fled the scene to get some privacy...who knew.

All I knew was that I was pissed that I couldn't share this moment with Edward.

God, my moods were swinging drastically tonight. I bit my lip and decided to take a walk.

The after-party didn't start until later on. I could squish in a few extra moments with my beloved school. Hang on, did I just call school beloved?

Shit.

I was becoming such a melodramatic prick.

I shook my head at myself, chuckling before walking briskly out of the gym and into the main hallway. My hand glided over our lockers—constant reminders of those bloody threats. But then that was all behind me. Now it reminded me of everything I had gone through to get where I was. I may not be in college yet, or have a real job, but not many people go through what I have. It was an accomplishment. A big, fucking accomplishment.

I smiled and blushed, unable to help myself as I neared my English room.

I swear, that sweaty butt mark on Edward's desk was still there—I could see it, although it had been wiped clean by the janitors who had remained oblivious as to what it was. It was like an invisible ink, it would always be there in my mind, anyway. I came around the corner, nearing the Drama room.

I leaned into the door jam and sighed as I stared into the blackness.

That same drum kit was back in here...it gave me a severe sense of déjà vu.

The only thing missing was..."Oh, shit. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be—" I stumbled back, running into someone but before I could splutter out my apology, Edwards hand caressed the back of my neck.

I breathed in a shuddering breath.

It was like he had immediately put a spell on me. I was his pawn, whether I liked it or not—I was at his will, whether _he_ liked it or not.

"Happy Graduation." He murmured into the dark to me. I couldn't see him and he wasn't touching me anywhere.

But I could _feel_ him behind me. Like you could sense if someone was watching you—I could sense if Edward was near me. It was like a built in radar system. Tingles ran up and down my spine. "Th-thank you," I stuttered out. I heard him chuckle softly, his breath brushing against my hair and neck.

"You're welcome." He brought his face closer to my neck, still not touching, but close enough to let me feel the heat of his breath, the heat of his body. We didn't say anything then...we stood there, not touching or moving.

I sighed, staring straight ahead into the Drama room, his hands ghosted over my arms. He was teasing me...giving me a taste of his touch, but never really making contact. The goose bumps rose along my skin and I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly inside my chest.

I didn't need to tell him I loved him, for he already knew it. The silence said everything we wanted to—everything that mattered.

Finally, he graced me with his touch, the epitome of pleasures.

Did I believe in miracles?

Fuck yes.

I definitely couldn't deny the miracle that was Edward Cullen. His warm fingers slowly caressed the tops of my arms then grazed lazily down to my elbows. My breath hitched in unison with his—his fingers paused for a fraction of a second before moving down to my hands, covering them with his own.

Our fingers entwined and the moment felt so intimate, yet so chaste. I swallowed loudly, my cheeks flaring.

"Is this my graduation present?" I whispered, turning my head slightly. He pressed his lips to my shoulder and I could feel him smiling against me. He rested his head on my shoulder, turning his head and kissing my neck gently. His fingers moved back up my arms, then down my waist to my hips.

"Maybe..." he whispered huskily, his voice dripping with insatiate lust. I shivered against him and he moaned softly.

"I like this gown," he said off-hand. I frowned and rolled my eyes at his casualness--plus it was a hideous gown. He fisted his hand in the loose yellow fabric that hung off of my body. I sucked in a breath, half-expecting him to tear it off me with his hands. He gently let it go, instead he moved his palm to rest on my stomach—his other on my hip.

He leaned in closer, pressing his body against my back. I bit my lip to stifle the moan that threatened to break through them at the feel of him—his hardness.

Keeping his hand on my hip, the hand that rest on my stomach moved up my body, over my chest and up my neck to my chin. He moved it to the side, gaining better access to my mouth. He sighed and his breath flowed over my face—partially inebriating me. He pressed his lips to mine, letting his hand fall back down my body.

I saw an outline of his features in the dark hallway...so beautiful. Our lips parted and his tongue invaded my mouth while I felt his hand cup between my legs.

I let out a faint gasp as he pulled my gown up my legs. He hooked his fingers into the waist band of my jeans then inside my panties.

I moaned into his mouth, pressing further against him.

I tried to turn around but his hands were firm and determined.

I was already sopping with moisture, he groaned against my mouth as he felt it. Sliding his fingers against my clit, his breathing picked up and I moaned out in pleasure. I bucked my hips and he inserted two fingers inside my hot centre.

His other hand gripped my hip tightly.

My hands were grasping his hips.

I slid my hand against his rock hard erection, straining against his pants. I unbuttoned them and grabbed his throbbing length. He hissed and I moaned. I stroked him slowly to begin with earning a few guttural groans from deep within his chest.

His thumb massaged my clit as his fingers fucked me. He was kissing and licking up my neck, his other hand moved to cup my breast under the yellow gown. I used my free hand to cover his between my thighs. I pressed his hand tighter to me and gasped at the sensation. He pulled my body closer to his saving just enough room for my hand to keep rubbing him. His fingers sped up and I was tightening and shuddering with bliss. I stroked him harder, his head falling to my shoulder in what looked like defeat.

He added another finger and slid it inside of me. I gasped and rocked my hips forward so he could go deeper.

"Ugh, deeper," I pleaded with him in a ragged whisper. He caught my earlobe with his teeth and pushed deeper, hooking his fingers while pushing his thumb against my swollen clit. My eyes bulged open and I had to grasp the door frame for support as he kept his fingers moving.

Wave after wave of hot satisfaction crashed down over me. He groaned and went rigid as I felt him nearing his own climax. He moved his fingers harder and I almost screamed. He moved his hand from my breast to cover my mouth. We both came at the same time—gasping and shuddering.

My eyes were closed and I licked my lips as he kissed up and down my neck and I pulled my hand back.

I felt Edward tense again and I was about to grin teasingly when I realised it wasn't me that made him do that. "Oh, don't let me interrupt," a high, lilting voice echoed from the darkness. I gasped and Edward hastily removed his hand from my jeans. Little Alice appeared from the shadows, a hard, distinctly angry look on her face.

Blood flooded my cheeks and tears of fear and humiliation poured down my cheeks as I droppe dmy eyes to the floor. We were so fucking busted. "Alice," Edward said in a nervous tone. "I can explain." She shot him a sharp look which stopped him from talking. She looked to me and her face softened. "Bella, Edward—what the fuck?"

**So that was that. Alice turned a blind eye and Bella and Edward lived happily ever after--*record skips then stops running* Yeah, thats bullshite.**

**Sorry for pulling your tit there. Everything may or may not go so swimmingly. ;)**

**Shywriter99: Yo, Edward, get me a pina colada, bitch!**

**Edward: You shouldn't speak to me that way, I love you.**

**Shywriter99: You're right, I'm sorry. Please accept my apology!**

**Edward: Hmm. Maybe. I suppose. But don't yell at me again**

**Shywriter99: *zips mouth up* Absolutley.**

**Edward: No, don't zip that mouth up. We may need it. *wink***

**Shywriter99: *lifts eyebrow***

**Edward: *sighs* You know, to...do stuff.**

**Shygirl99: Like talk? And eat?**

**Edward: *rubs forehead* No, not exactly. I mean, if you want to apologise...you could use your mouth...? *waits for shygirl to understand***

**Shygirl99: *stares blankly at Edward***

**Edward: Just come here and I'll show you with _my_ mouth.**

**Shygirl99: *Goes to Edward*Wow, that's amazing. *stares up at ceiling whilst Edward pleasures her***

**Edward: Mmmhmm.**

**Shygirl99: Oh Edward, fuuuuckk! *stares at ceiling***

**Edward: *stands up and grins* Now is there anything you'd like to do?**

**Shygirl99: Yeah, where did you get those ceiling tiles? *points up***

**Edward: *smacks his face***

**Shywriter99—see, look, you got to be pleasured! And see, this is how it should work in real life. Maybe we have to play dumb so they don't expect anything back! MWAHAHAHA!**

**Shout out to Bellaslullabye-and to her story, "_like a moth to a flame" _(believe me! I love this story! EXCELLENTLY DELICIOUS lemons!) Another shout-out to Beanflikn247 and shout-out to Aceybrie. You guys have given me either uniquely sweet or hilarious reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!**


	32. Don't wake me cause I'm dreamin'

**Do you dream, that the world will know your name, so tell me your name. **

**and do you care, about all the little things or anything at all. **

**i wanna feel, all the chemicals inside, i wanna feel. **

**i wanna sunburn, just to know that im alive, to know im alive. **

**and dont tell me if im dying, coz i dont wanna know. **

**if i cant see the sun, maybe i should go, dont wake me coz im dreamin, **

**of angels on the moon. **

**where everyone you know never leaves too soon.**

_Thriving Ivory- Angels on the Moon_

* * *

I stood frozen and speechless. Edward buckled his belt back up without looking at me. Alice stared at us both, waiting for an explanation.

"Well?" she pressed in a sharp tone. The blush never left my cheeks as I scrambled for a reason why Edward and I were finger fucking in the hallway. I bit my lip. Oh, shit frick! Edward took a step forward, concealing me behind him as he tried to reign Alice in.

He held his hands up defensively as if he were approaching a lioness.

Quite close, it seemed. "Alice, I-I don't know what to tell you..." he trailed off.

I could sense the hurt and shame in his voice. He never wanted Alice to find out this way. "We just—we couldn't _not."_ He stressed, wringing his hands nervously. I watched with tears in my eyes—afraid of the repercussions this would give now that someone else knew. Outside of the cult.

I was breathing heavy, still coming down from the heat of that orgasm. I felt sticky and uncomfortable now. I desperately wanted a shower. I hated feeling so ashamed of myself when I knew there was no need to be. I shouldn't be feeling shame, not for being with Edward like I was, not even now that it was legal. It was perfectly fine. Alice snorted at her brother, incredulous. She narrowed her eyes at him and stepped forward. She pointed her index finger at his chest, poking it as she spoke to accentuate her words.

"You are a teacher!" she accused. Edward nodded. "I know. But...this is perfectly legal." He said, motioning with his hand to me, indicating, 'this'. I knew he was pretending the plutonic-level of our relationship for Alice's sake, but I couldn't help but feel a stab of hurt at his careless words.

I bit my lip as I watched them converse frustratingly. I, being the core of the conversation.

I squirmed, not sure what to do; keep my mouth shut? Or pipe in and give my version of events?

'Yes, we were attracted to each other, but we knew it was inappropriate. And now that there are no legally binding circumstances that keep us from having a relationship, we are free to do so.' I could say that but I felt like a cad for even thinking it. It was a complete lie.

This had begun much earlier, and I'm sure, for some quirky reason, that Alice already knew this. She wasn't asking for details, she was asking for an explanation for the acts of indiscretion she knew we had performed. Perhaps she knew all along and tried to deny it?

"Oh, Edward," I sighed, shaking her head and clucking her tongue.

"Do you know what this means? You could have lost your job! You could have been arrested! How could you be so careless? You were breaking the _law_!" she hissed, keeping her voice hushed. Thank god. I would die if Charlie heard. I wanted to tell him on my own terms, and hopefully embellish the details a bit to make it look like I had been long gone from school before we began seeing each other.

Alice looked utterly disappointed which tugged at my heart—making me feel a fierce sense of sympathy and defensiveness for Edward. He had done nothing that I hadn't initiated or consented to. I wanted to stand between them, although I knew Edward could defend himself and Alice was only dishing out a verbal beating not a physical one—which, again, I doubted I would win. I mean, Alice was shorter than me, but she looked feisty enough to pack a mean punch.

So, I stayed glued to the floor behind Edward's back—I could feel his tension. His shoulder muscles were taught and strained from the stress of the situation. I wanted to soothe him, but now was hardly the time.

I was standing in a fit of despair, torn between defending myself and/or lying about not having been with Edward before now, or admitting to everything and begging for Alice to keep her mouth shut at all costs. At least until we thought it was safe to reveal ourselves as an 'item' in public, or to just our families.

"I take full responsibility for this," he said in a pleading tone, staring straight into Alice's eyes. I frowned and was about to protest when he put a finger up to stop me from doing so. "Bella should not have to face the fall-out from this. If you must report me, do so—but we aren't breaking any rules, not anymore. And I wish that Bella remained anonymous." He said in a business-like tone, as if he were bartering. I stared, my mouth hanging open.

"No," I whispered. He turned to stare at me, Alice's eyes bored into mine but I kept my composure.

"No." I said louder. "You can't face this by yourself. It's very sweet of you to take the blame. But I was as much a part of this as you were. We are _both_ at fault—" I started ranting but Alice cut me off. "You two." She chided—using her teacher voice. I gulped and shut up.

Edward turned back to her, his hand twitching toward me. I felt it, too, Edward.

"I don't want to report you Edward..." she said, sighing and looking down regrettably. I felt my lip trembling, anticipating her next words, 'but, I have no other choice.' "So I won't." Our heads snapped up in unison, we both gazed at the weird pixie—flabbergasted.

"Huh?" was my great response.

I could feel a smile of relief tugging at the corners of my mouth.

I was doing a happy dance in my head but still gaping on the outside. "As you pointed out, had I caught this little...**Indecent Affair** before graduation and before you became an adult, Bella," She glanced pointedly at me.

"I would have had no other choice. But..." she shrugged and ground her teeth.

"You owe me _big_ time, Edward. I will not forget about this, don't think that I will ever." She shuddered delicately and my cheeks flamed again. "But I need to be clear on one thing..." she stared between the two of us. She paused for a moment, contemplating her next question. "Are you two going to be a couple now?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. "Yes," we both answered at the same time. Alice's eyes popped open with surprise.

"Are you serious? How is it going to work? I mean no disregard to either of you, even though you both deserve it for your stupidity—"

"Alice," Edward growled. I caught his arm, squeezing it to calm him down. Alice's eyes flickered to my hand then back to my face. Edward gazed down at me with all the love in the world. I knew in that moment that no matter what the world threw in our faces—whether it be mysterious cults, Alice Cullen or bloody threats—we would be there for each other. He was mine for the keeping, and he knew it. He also lavished it. He lavished me. And my sole loyalty and love for him, proved that I had no other choice but to admit I was his, too. No-one else would ever have the power to effect my heart so drastically. Alice cleared her throat and when she studied us for a moment longer, her eyebrows slowly raised.

"Oh my god...you're both serious..." she trailed off in awe and she tried hiding the smile on her face. I frowned—was she insane?

This wasn't funny at all! Why was she on the verge of hysterical laughter? A giggle escaped her clenched lips and Edward and I looked at each other as if to say, 'is she high?'. "You..." she choked out through her guffawing. "You finally...fall in love..." I blanched at her sudden casual use of the words.

Edward turned to me with a confused frown, grasping my waist. Alice was bending over at the waist, clutching her stomach.

"You finally fall in love...with a student!" I recoiled like she had slapped me with a leather strap.

I stared at her, seriously considering the use of a straight jacket. "Alice," Edward said in a warning tone. "Get a grip, what the fuck is so funny?" She clamped her lips together, whimpering slightly with tears streaming down her face. Edward shook his head. She let it burst out again before fleeing down the hall into the darkness.

I shivered—it was like she had appeared as a mischievous ghost, blending into the shadows again with an insane chuckle.

Edward spun me around in a pirouette. His eyes were triumphant yet still hooded from our lusty encounter. I smiled breathily up at him—amazed that we had narrowly avoided disaster.

He leaned down, pressing his sumptuous lips to mine.

~~~___~~~

"I'll see you later, Dad." I said at his window, after the graduation ceremony. He leaned out of the cruiser to peck me on the cheek, a proud smile on his face. Sue sat in the passenger seat, a sheepish grin replacing the terrified, nervous smile at the thought of meeting me—Charlie's daughter.

I had told him I was getting a lift to the grad party with a friend—Jess was my scapegoat. I smiled tentatively before letting go of the window and waving them off. I still had the ugly yellow polyester gown on—it made me blush to think about how Edward had said he liked it.

He must not have very normal tastes in clothing. Or maybe it was just the idea of fucking me while I wore it—the attraction didn't come from the gown itself, more like the concept of the gown. I was a naughty little graduating school-girl. I bit my lip then searched the nearly empty parking lot for him.

I hugged my arms around myself, the wind chilling me to the bone, seeping through my double layer of clothing. Before I could even spot him, Tyler Crowley approached me again, grinning. "It's been a good year," he stated formally. I nodded, not really paying attention.

"We've been through quite a lot..." I nodded again, my eyes zeroing in on those bronze locks.

"—so what do you think?" I shook my head in confusion, my eyes focussing on Tyler. "About what?" I said blankly. He smirked.

"Do you want to give me your number?" I stared, uncomprehending. "Uhh..." I said uneasily. My heart beat sped up—I was reminded of my other admirers, the ones that had gone insane and tried to kill me. Alec had been as playful as Tyler at one point. _But it was all drugs,_ my mind assured me. I tried breathing evenly and Tyler construed my shaking as embarrassment. "Mr. Crowley, I'll have you know that I can still have authority over you until you leave the school grounds," Edward smirked, appearing behind him. Tyler looked over his shoulder, up at him. He rolled his eyes and sighed. He dropped me a wink before disappearing to his van.

I could feel my limbs trembling with the swirl of memories breaking through the wall I built up around them. I felt nauseated.

I rubbed my forehead with my hand and clutched my stomach, closing my eyes. I breathed in deeply—steadying myself.

"I'll take you somewhere more private," Edward whispered, remaining inconspicuous. I nodded and he put a friendly arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him for support but slowly regained my strength once we had reached the empty gym room. The lights had been turned off and our footsteps echoed in the silence.

Edward swapped his hold around my shoulders to wind both his arms around my waist. He smiled crookedly, pursed his lips then crushed me to his chest. He lifted me off the ground and slid his feet under mine. I perked an eyebrow and laughed a bit. How cliche'. But I was supposed to do this at prom.

Instead, Edward and I had had a real bangin' time at his place—wrapped up in each other, not dance music or corsages.

I leaned my head against his chest as he took my other hand and lead us around in a small swaying circle.

I smiled, closing my eyes and breathing him in. I felt him press his lips to my hair. He breathed in deeply, his chest moving under my face. I had one hand on his shoulder, he pulled our joined hands to his chest and splayed them out over his heart. I smiled wider, nuzzling into his warmth.

I was completely calm now—the tension and excitement from graduating was finally wearing down.

"Looks like you had an admirer out there," he commented suddenly. My eyes flickered open, worried about how he would construe that fact. "We don't know that..." I said nervously, for Tyler's sake. I doubted he would like it very much if Tyler had succeeded in asking me out. I stared into his eyes and was surprised to find amusement. "Lucky I got there on time, you would have had to find a quick excuse to get out of it," he chuckled. I raised an eyebrow and smiled impishly.

"What if I didn't say no?" his laughter stopped short and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Then I'd lock you up and inform Chief Swan that his daughter was infatuated with a delinquent." He said casually. I laughed, it sounded like he had this plan well-thought out, like he had considered it before.

"You've thought this over, haven't you?" I prodded. He grinned and leaned down to press his lips to mine. We had stopped moving, his hands moved from my hand to my neck, his other from my waist to cup my cheek. "You know," he mumbled against my lips. "It's getting kind of difficult just to stand back while people try to court you." I frowned up at him. "But you know I'll always say no." Like I'd agree! That thought was hilarious.

You couldn't go any better than Edward, why would I want to take a step down with someone I _didn't_ love unconditionally? He shook his head and smirked, mouthing the words, 'doesn't stop 'em.' I rolled my eyes. I pushed off his feet, skipping over to the bleachers and plopping down.

"Come back," he called. I shook my head obstinately. I crossed my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"No, not until Edward Cullen comes back, not some possessive form of him." I looked away and tried not to smile victoriously when I felt him curl up beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling my face closer. I turned around to glare at him, although it was hard, especially when I was trying to keep a smile from appearing on my smug face. "What if Edward can't help himself?" he asked, using third person. I rolled my eyes but couldn't keep the amusement from showing.

"What if Edward can't stand the sight of someone looking at Bella the way he does? What can Edward do?" he asked, helplessly, hugging me tighter to his body. I dropped my smile and looked at him with a slanted eyebrows, a sympathetic look on my face.

"How would Bella feel if Edward had every girl in the school asking him out on dates?" he challenged. I sighed.

He was right—I would become even worse than him in that department. I knew how angry with jealousy I had become when I thought Edward was engaged. Heck, even the first day when Jessica was eyeballing him, I subconsciously wanted to tell her to fuck off because he was mine.

But all that aside now, he was mine and I was on good grounds with Jess.

"I guess...it does serve it's purpose...when you get...protective and possessive." I allowed.

He smiled. "Serves its purpose? I didn't know it did that. I just thought it was because I get extremely irritated when someone looks at you like that or touches you..." he shrugged. I slapped his arm before relaxing against him. His fingers came to my chin, pulling it up so he could touch his lips to mine again.

And again. And again. My lips parted with a gasp, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled my leg over his lap.

It was a little uncomfortable, but boy was it hot. I moaned and whimpered in anticipation as his hands roamed over my body.

Oh, how I loved the feel of his hands there. He was breathing heavily, making grunting noises and groans as I slid my hands down to cup his throbbing shaft, straining against his pants. "Excited are we?" I tried to ask sarcastically, but it came out in a breathless moan as I realised how aroused he was.

I felt myself growing more moist in reaction. He lifted me up enough so he could undo his pants for the second time tonight. God, we were becoming a pair of animalistic, sexual deviants. I panted into his neck as he tore up the seam of the yellow gown. I frowned, partially offended.

"Why'd you do that for?" I asked. "Sorry," he mumbled sheepishly. "It was an accident, I was just so excited—" I stopped his sentence short by crashing my lips to his. I was so intensely aroused and the thought of him ripping my clothes off in an attempt to ravish me? I shuddered with pleasurable delight.

I was straddling his legs, grinding my wetness against his exposed erection. I had yet to remove my panties and jeans.

I stood for a moment and let his impatient yet graceful hands do the job of discarding them for me. He pulled them from my hips, exposing myself to him, letting the fabric fall to my ankles. I stepped out of them, wearing nothing but my sweater and my tattered yellow gown.

He bit his lip and hissed when I grasped him with my hand. I pulled my gown off, throwing my sweater to the side and unclasping my bra in front of him. His hands were outstretched towards me, his eyes hooded with unadulterated lust. "It would have been a lot worse if Alice caught us _now_," I said, laughing a little.

"Let's not talk about my sister," he begged. "Oh, right." I leaned closer and he buried his face between my breasts, nipping.

I gasped and tugged his hair with my fist. I was still standing up and I could feel my moisture seeping between my thighs.

"Mmm, Edward..." I whispered, bringing his lips back to mine, invading his mouth with my tongue. His hand went to my hip, guiding me forward to his aching member.

"Wait," he murmured, pulling away. He leaned behind me to grasp the gown. I frowned and looked at him sceptically. I sighed and put it back on. But before he could grab me again, I reached for his shirt, tearing it open, the buttons flying wayward. I thought he might get mad, but he only seemed to get more horny.

With a growl, he pulled me to him, sitting me down and sliding me down on him. I moaned, throwing my head back and arching my chest.

My bare nipples grazed against him. I rocked back and forth, my hands grasping his shoulders. "I need more help, Edward," I pleaded.

He nodded quickly, his hands moving to my hips and pushing them down so he went deeper inside of me. "Ahhh!" I cried out.

The sounds of his groans and our bodies slapping together was the most erotic noise I would ever hear. His hands never left my hips as he pushed them back and forth, increasing the pace when I asked him to. I could feel myself straining to stay focussed. I was in a sexual haze—letting go of everything. I was writhing in bliss and pleasure, riding an ultimate high. Edward leaned forward and took one of my nipples in his mouth, suckling on it while I rode him with total abandon.

"Oh, fuck, Edward, more!" I hissed. His right hand left my hip. He moved it to my clit and started slowly massaging it while I rocked back and forth.

I leaned my head onto his shoulder, shuddering uncontrollably. I couldn't take anymore. Despite the chill in the air, we were both sweating like recess monkeys and sounding like them too. "Ahh, fuck Bella." I twisted slightly, moving my hips in a circular motion that did the craziest things to me. My eyes bulged out of their sockets and he pushed down hard on my clit, lifting his ass off the chair so he went all the way inside my hot core. "Edward! Edward! _Edward!"_ I wailed, half-screaming, half-crying.

I tightened and convulsed around him. His fingers dug into my skin and his body went rigid along with mine.

We both held our breath, gritting our teeth and gasping as we climaxed simultaneously.

I felt him empty inside of me. He still has his thumb rubbing slow circles over my clit. I moaned into his throat. He slid his finger a little further to gather the moisture that was already there. He went back to massaging me—pushing me to the edge again. I wailed against his skin, biting down. He growled and I felt him harden slightly. I stood up with weak legs, pulling myself off him. My head was clouded and I could hardly walk straight.

It was like he had roofied me—during the sex. I put my hand to my forehead and shook it, trying to clear it. I was still breathing heavily, my body shaking. I sat down next to Edward and he stood up and kneeled before me. He put his hands on my knees, spreading them slightly.

"No, I can't..." I panted. "Too...much..." I let my head fall back against the seat while he ignored my wishes, licking his tongue up my moist slit. I groaned and shuddered. Fuck me! His stubble tickled my thighs and my clit, adding to the pleasure. He sucked and nibbled on my sensitive mound until I fell apart again. He grinned, wiping at his mouth. I couldn't move! I was in a fucked daze. I'm guessing this is what it would be like to be high.

He managed to dress me again, and himself. He grabbed my gown off me and slung it over his shoulder before carrying me to his car—the only one in the lot. He leaned over to me. "You're high school life is finally over. How do you feel?" he asked with a crooked smile. I looked over to him, my eyes half-closed. "Like I've been fucked silly," I answered truthfully. "But well." I elaborated with a pleased smile. He grinned and sighed.

"Yeah, well. High school does that to you...well, _I_ do that to you." He chuckled. I rolled my eyes and he drove me away from school for the last time.

~~~___~~~

**~Epilogue~**

"Unpack those ones," I told Edward. "No, not them, those are mine." "So?" he asked with an amused frown.

"Because you won't know where to put them." I answered. He shook his head. I grinned back, squinting my eyes. "Alright then, where do these go?" he enquired, holding up a box of my books. I rolled my eyes and shook my head in exasperation. "You're hopeless at this," I muttered feigning disappointment.

"You know..." I started.

"I could always get our neighbour, what's his name...George? To help me unpack...he seems to like me," Edward's eyes flashes and he narrowed them. I grinned teasingly. "No fair," he accused from the other side of the room. I laughed and threw a pillow at him. He caught it and threw it back, hitting me square in the head.

"Hey, you know I failed at Gym!" I cried. "You have an unfair advantage!" He grinned crookedly, crawling through the mass of boxes that crowded our new living room. He approached me slowly on his hands and knees, a conspiratorial smirk on his lips. I felt so buoyant and cheerful.

Even when we fought—which was hardly ever, we still managed to love each other even more at the end of it. I admit, that telling Charlie that his only daughter was getting married and moving in with her ex-teacher in their new Seattle apartment wasn't exactly a pretty affair.

I feared for my life, well not mine really, but Edward's.

I feared for Edward, and I feared for his balls. But he had handled it like a man. He wasn't going to hide, because he knew how much it meant to me to have Charlie's support. I must confess that he wasn't exactly exultant at the idea to begin with.

He was down-right livid. That's when I thanked the gods for Sue Clearwater.

She had reigned in his rage and told him to go cool down and think about it. That's when I went to talk with him, alone. I left Edward in the house to go talk with Sue and smooth things over.

"_It's wrong Bella, he's using you. He's too old for you!" he said, his face turning a bright shade of pink. _

_"He loves me, and I love him. I know how that sounds and how you were expecting me to use that as my defence but it's true. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. On countless occasions he has saved my life. You wouldn't have daughter today if he didn't love me the way he does." Charlie's face paled with the memories. He was remembering how closely I had come to a demise so many times. _

_"But Bella," he started. "No, Dad. Listen to me. I am an adult. I need you to support me and love me because I love you both too much to leave either one of you!" I sobbed out, a lump rising in my throat. _

_"You can't expect me to leave and forget about him. Just like he would never ask me to leave you here or forget you. __He knows how much it would hurt me. So he is willing to wait for as long as it takes until you give us your blessing." He was stunned silent. _

He had caved after that, hugging me tight and begging me to reconsider. When I told him it was impossible, he had realised that I was so completely sure. He saw the determination in my eyes—like he had never seen it there before. Like he was seeing _me._

Thats when he finally relented. He didn't like it, nor did he have to. He only had to support it and bless it. I screamed and jumped on him showering him with kisses and apologies for not telling him sooner. He didn't speak more than two words to Edward which he understood immensely.

It had taken a while, three months and counting for Charlie to warm up a bit. But he was getting there.

Edward's hands slipped around my waist and he nipped at the skin on my exposed neck. I squealed, jerking away and clambering to my feet. I ran out of the living room, Edward chasing me. We laughed and giggled until I collapsed onto the bed, puffed. I was tired from unpacking.

Edward fell onto the bed beside me. I climbed up onto his chest, straddling his waist.

He smiled, gazing up at me like he was seeing an angel—his eyes were so alight.

"Cat got your tongue?" I asked mockingly.

"God, I hope not. But if it was missing, I'd suspect you more than anyone." I giggled.

I rolled off of him and onto my side. "When do you start work tomorrow?" I enquired curiously. It was kind of rich, the bastards were making him start the day after we moved here. But that was the price of such a prestegious job--well, compared to his last one.

"Um, well, I only give one lecture at the univeristy, and that doesn't start until...two," I nodded., absently.

"I could use a celebration drink, Bella." Edward declared. I laughed and rolled my eyes, envying him.

"Do you want one?" he asked. I bit my lip and blushed. I wonder if he knew...? I guess not, with the way he was looking at me. I held my hand up to my face, playing with my diamond ring. I spun it around my finger then bit my thumb nail before glancing back up at him. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, running his hand over my forehead. "How soon do you think we could start on the spare bedroom?" I asked, looking at my hands.

He frowned, confused.

"We don't have to do that one till last, it's no rush. It's not going to be used by anyone—" He broke off with a gasp. A very girly move on Edward's behalf. I couldn't help but snicker. He leaned so close to my face that I couldn't move.

He had his trademark crooked grin on his face, his eyes all gooey with affection. "You mean to tell me that you're...?" I nodded vigorously. "Yep," I popped my lips with the 'p'. He nodded along with me, his smile growing into a blinding grin.

It fell momentarily and I panicked. "Oh, shit. You're Dad is gonna kill me," he breathed, his eyes wide.

I hugged my arms around his waist as he placed his hands on either side of my head, bracing himself above my body. "I won't let him," I said determinedly. He smiled nervously but couldn't help the euphoria that emanated from his pores. He kissed all over my face then my lips.

He kissed all down my body before reaching the hem of my shirt. He tugged it up over my flat stomach, placing a gentle kiss just under my navel. I smiled, my face flushing. He looked up at me from under his lashes. "We could go see if the shower works..." I suggested in a mischievous manner.

Edward's eyes lit up and I pushed him back until he fell off the end of the bed.

"I'll race you!" I laughed, hopping out of my jeans and dashing to the bathroom. He ran in behind me, his shirt already gone. I smiled giddily—it was all I ever did now, was smile. He ran his hands down my naked body, unclasping my bra and throwing it over his shoulder.

He raised goose bumps all over my skin and I trembled under his unyielding touch.

Would I ever get used to him? Ever? Edward pushed his jeans down his legs and kicked them out of the door, turning the shower on before pulling me in with him and leaning me against the glass. We kissed feverishly before he hitched my leg on his hip.

I moaned with pleasure and realised—No, I would _definitely_ never get used to Edward-fucking-Cullen, my English professor. How indecent.

* * *

**And so it's finally over!! :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( I know, i know! I can't believe it either!**

***Edward and Bella sob* I hope they don't go suicidal on me!**

**But was that ending sufficient? I hope I didn't dissappoint! And I couldn't have them have a bad ending! Thats just callous! Maybe I'll do that with the bi-fic! LOL. feargirl, you better watch out! I'm gonna do some freaky shit with that thing ;) LOL**

**I don't know what else to say, other than I LOVE YOU!**

**Thankyou for sticking it out and coming along the sordid, lemony journey that was 'indecent affairs'. I bet you're all sticky adn exhausted right?**

**Me too. *sigh***

**But Edward is giving out free back rubs and cocktails by the pool, meet you tharr! And I'll also meet you at Blood Moon! (my other fan fic)**

**THANKYOU TO MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS AND REVIEWERS! YOU GUYS RULE THE WORLD! YOU ROCK MY SOCKS! YOU ARE THE CHERRY ON MY SUNDAE! THE PICKLE IN MY BURGER!**

**AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU ARE THE LEMONS IN MY FANFIC! well, not exactly.. *looks away awkwardly***

**:D**

**-biorbird xoxox**


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